SHOKING BUT BEST DIVORCE
LETTER FROM MR ZIGGI TO HIS WIFE

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this
letter to tell you that I’m leaving
you
forever. I’ve been a good man to
you
for 7 years & I have nothing to
show
for it. These last 2 weeks have
been
hell. , Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today &
that
was the last straw. Last week, you
came home & didn’t even notice I
had
a new haircut, had cooked your
favorite meal & even wore a
brand
new pair of silk boxers. You ate in
2
minutes, & went straight to sleep
after watching all of your soaps.
You don’t tell me you love me
anymore; you don’t want sex or
anything that connects us as
husband
& wife. Either you’re cheating on
me
or you don’t love me anymore;
whatever the case, I’m gone. Your
EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find
me. Your SISTER & I are moving
away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!
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REPLY FROM WIFE
Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has
made
my day more than receiving your
letter. It’s true you & I have been
married for 7 years, although a
good
man is a far cry from what you’ve
been. I watch my soaps so much
because they drown out your
constant
whining & griping Too bad that
doesn’t work. I DID notice when
you
got a hair cut last week, but the
1st
thing that came to mind was ‘You
look just like a girl!’ Since my
mother raised me not to say
anything
if you can’t say something nice, I
didn’t comment. And when you
cooked
my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY
SISTER, because I stopped eating
pork 7 years ago. About those
new
silk boxers: I turned away from
you
because the $49.99 price tag was
still
on them, & I prayed it was a
coincidence that my sister had
just
borrowed $50 from me that
morning.
After all of this, I still loved you &
felt we could work it out. So when
I
hit the lotto for 10 million dollars,
I
quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to
Jamaica But when I got home you
were gone, Everything happens
for a
reason, I guess. I hope you have
the
fulfilling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you
wrote ensures you won’t get a
dime
from me. So take care. Signed,
Your
Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you
this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
now WTF