i understand d fact dat everyone as their individualistic nature n temprament but my fiancee is extremely shy,quiet,introverted n reserved while am d hapy go sanguine lady,he's d melancoly guy.he's everytin i want in a man tho.he's loving,respectful,ard working n caring to my parents,very generous.no mata how bad tins gets,he stil goes out of is way to give.my parents,particularly my dad likes him a lot but wat i fear is dat ow do i cope wen we get married cos a lot of tyms i put in so much effort to make him talk n bring him out of is shell.sometyms i get scared bout bin married but lonely wen i get married.please nairalanders how do i make my courtship n consequently marriage a fulfilling one witout changing his personality.one more tin,please be kind when relying.i dont nid sarcastic,rude n insultive remarks n as much as possible i dont nid advice from teenagers or skul cildren

sory nls my h key pad on my laptop is nt workin wel.pardon me.tank u

It is always good when two people in a relationship have different characters, when one is an extrovert, let the other be an introvert, it always works best, but the most important thing in relationship is compatibility, do u guys actually understand each other, and even despite the fact that he is shy, do u feel comfortable around him,does he laugh at ur jokes,
Whta i think u should do is, try find his area of interest, what does he like discussing, no matter how shy he is, he will still have things that can make him talk and draw him out of his shell to talk, but dont ever think u can change him cos it may have an adverse effect.

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It is not easy to make a decision when it comes to such aspects of a relationship, but you have to keep in mind that despite what we might think at first, this can become a major issue in a marriage. As CC said, communication, the ability to communicate spontaneously, without having to put in extra efforts to get him to talk, express his feelings/opinions is a major key to a successful marriage.

I was in your shoes when I met my husband and I decided to overlook that aspect of his character, considering it was not that important and that we'd find ways to improve our communication, since we loved each other. I can't say it was a major mistake, since he has many other qualities, but if love made us go the extra mile at the beginning, as years go by, it becomes more and more difficult to always have to change your spontaneous way of communicating just to get your point across to your partner. I'm telling you, sincerely, even though we have some good times when we talk easily, on a daily basis I don't communicate with him much (if not at all) because I am tired of having to go through the trouble of catching his attention/making him talk.

Well, I guess we all have things we have to put up with in a relationship, and as CC said, no one is perfect, so you have to choose carefully which sacrifice you are ready to make for the rest of your life.

our communication is great to a large extent.we talk bout real issues dat affect us n our day to day issues wit colleagues,bosses,jnr ones n oda domestic issues to.wen is angry or bodad bout a certain issue affectin me,im n all he tells me upfront.we disagree to agree n one basic tin i also thank God 4 is dat e doesnt let d sun go down in his anger or wen we av disagreement.e's still d first person to call me ova d fone n say ow r u baby.he's nt pretentious n he doesnt know how to kip is filins inside, tanks y'all 4 d advise.ill work on dat but i must confess dat bin in a relationshp aint easy at all.it has its fair share of good n bad moments

kulyie:
/
sory nls my h key pad on my laptop is nt workin wel.pardon me.tank u

Stop lying dia, do you zhink we are shildrens here Stop blaming that defenceless keyboard, it is because you are omo Ibadan kini show that loves munshing shicken whilst lounging on a kushion shair

busy body i dont nid lousy n rude people around my thread.if u dont av any useful thing to contribute,scram.meanwile i've gotten advice i nid

@ kulyie,
dont worry yourself, you two will definitely rub-off on urselves.
i.e. u both will have a equilibrium, as in u getting a bit gentle and he getting a bit outgoing.
B4 i got married, he was so shy that he cud not look into my eyes,
but u need to see him now,
It will be fun, so enjoy it my dear.

looooollllllllllll thaks baby boom n all .dat is so encouraging .am hapy now n feel relieved.

Kulyie please cool down. BB was only pulling your leg

chaircover:

Kulyie please cool down. BB was only pulling your leg

Oh, what am I now gonna do with the tankerload of kerosene i brought along to erm . . . pacify kulyie's hot head na

kulyie:

busy body i dont nid lousy n rude people around my thread.if u dont av any useful thing to contribute,scram.meanwile i've gotten advice i nid

Sorry oh, why don't you kuku let me help you carry your thread ontop ya head then

Na wetin sef, shebi you said you have gotten the answer you need, so it is no longer your thread, so i refuse to scram



[s]Chei, see my life, i don turn to Jennykadry wey dem dey carry cane chase commot for thread I miss Monicaa [/s]

Oya kulyie, here is some homework for you, its a few threads about shy partners, hope you can learn a thing or two from them as well



https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-26270.0.html

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-460811.0.html#msg6189913

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-2628.0.html

busy body ure so hilarious.thanks 4 amusing me.u actually made my day,especialy afta d stress of comin out of lagos traffic ome.wot can i do witout nairalanders