Lungdick:


what makes you think she won't delete the messages

She won't. Ladies are very stupid. And even if she deletes them, the guy she is frolicking with might send a fresh message after she has deleted the old ones. It is very easy to catch a cheating lady.....not making efforts at all to do so is criminal on the part of the man.

234GT:


She won't. Ladies are very stupid. And even if she deletes them, the guy she is frolicking with might send a fresh message after she has deleted the old ones. It is very easy to catch a cheating lady.....not making efforts at all to do so is criminal on the part of the man.

you have a point

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Bro I was in that situation and trust me this ladies are very smart but you have to be calm, restrain yourself and act as if you know nothing so that you can catch them cos in things like this you need overwhelming evidences

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

My lady really got me laughing 😂😂.

That lady is using brain on you, you better be smart and watch out for that phone. There's something she's hiding there.

maasoap:

Hi, secrets! You all can guess what's up with not leaving your phone behind for a minute unless we're deceiving ourselves.

I'm using same password with my partner. Here is no secret zone.. There are times family matters will come hard and I'll be speaking my dialect and glued to my phone and oga will be complaining, there are issues I can't disclose till I'm okay. I don't expect someone to be a cry baby crying all over Nairaland. Like yesterday that my nephew was arrested I was speaking in codes till we secured his bail.

act the same, keep texting and smiling, If she cares about you, she'll be jealous and act

Kobojunkie:
Let me let you in on the biggest secret no one has probably ever told you before now. No matter how good you pretend you are at something, you will still find those who are more cunning and able to prove that you are not as good as you think yourself to be.
Understanding what communication is there for from what it is not there for is essential here.

2. OP is here because his fears and anxieties have gotten the better of him. He is already afraid that his girlfriend knows to cover her tracks and that even if he searches her phone, he will not find concluding evidence there, but he would have damaged the relationship enough for it to not survive should he still have feelings for her afterward. So what is OP to do? Try to play detective or focus first on resolving his emotional state to ready himself for what may come.

By the way, no amount of sleuthing will stop a person from cheating on you or having the intention to. The best anyone can do in a relationship is guard their own heart and emotions and know when it is best to abandon ship without regrets or bitterness.

Well spoken…but I still stand in the fact that he needs to gather evidence and while trying to he should act as if all is well. That’s way if his suspicions are confirmed he can end it. If it turns out to be nothing he continues as normal and both are happy. But communicating with her about his fears? Never. And yes you rightly said no one can stop a cheat who wants to tow that path but you can at least guard your heart.

I think that's the best way if he feels insecure.

He should be direct.

BrighterSyde:
■ Well spoken…but I still stand in the fact that he needs to gather evidence and while trying to he should act as if all is well. That’s way if his suspicions are confirmed he can end it.
■ If it turns out to be nothing he continues as normal and both are happy. But communicating with her about his fears? Never.
■ And yes you rightly said no one can stop a cheat who wants to tow that path but you can at least guard your heart.

1. And what makes you think OP will end it with her immediately after he has his evidence? Don't make assumptions about these things.

2. Communicating even his fears with her is for his own good. Ever wonder why, mainly in relationships, even when the signs are clear, we tend to resort to what is called rationalizing them? It has to do with the doubts that pile up with all the fears and anxieties we harbor. When you have less of those, you are better able to make decisions and one good way of resolving a lot of that is by communicating them to others.

3. Communication is a necessary way to guard your heart and emotions.

Kobojunkie:
1. And what makes you think OP will end it with her immediately after he has his evidence? Don't make assumptions about these things.

2. Communicating even his fears with her is for his own good. Ever wonder why, mainly in relationships, even when the signs are clear, we tend to resort to what is called rationalizing them? It has to do with the doubts that pile up with all the fears and anxieties we harbor. When you have less of those, you are better able to make decisions and one good way of resolving a lot of that is by communicating them to others.

3. Communication is a necessary way to guard your heart and emotions.

He doesn’t have to end it with her. That’s my suggestion to him. He is free to do what he wants.
You see how I address your points directly? You don’t address mine. I ask again, are you saying he should communicate his fears with someone he suspects is cheating? If indeed she isn’t cheating then that would seem like a good idea. Now if she really is cheating do you still think he should communicate these fears with her? Don’t avoid my direct questions.

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Your a grown man brother you have been bulit with natural instincts, your looking at marriage
Man and Women have ''Good the Bad and Ugly past '' Exes and skeletons in cupboards, So like you said sitting her down is a good plan
Before you say yes. Always remember nobody is perfect. Only 7 months storms come greater and crazy like this
For better for worse is just a pleadge, No Assumsions take the bull by the horn

Find happiness check well o!

BrighterSyde:
■ He doesn’t have to end it with her. That’s my suggestion to him. He is free to do what he wants.
You see how I address your points directly? You don’t address mine. I ask again, are you saying he should communicate his fears with someone he suspects is cheating? If indeed she isn’t cheating then that would seem like a good idea. Now if she really is cheating do you still think he should communicate these fears with her? Don’t avoid my direct questions.

I did answer your question, more than once now, but somehow you expect me to say something different from what I have been saying all this while.

Whether she is cheating or not should not change anything of his need to communicate even his fears and anxieties with her since he is in a relationship with her.

Kobojunkie:
I did answer your question, more than once now, but somehow you expect me to say something different from what I have been saying all this while.

Whether she is cheating or not should not change anything of his need to communicate even his fears and anxieties with her since he is in a relationship with her.

No. You haven’t answered my question at all. A woman who is panning to settle down with a man is secretive of her phone. We both know she might be cheating. Now again I ask, if indeed she is cheating what do you think will be the outcome of such communication? She will readily admit and ask him to forgive him so they can live happily ever after? I have agreed that there is need for communication but at the right time. That answers or settles your point. Now answer mine this: what will be the outcome of discussing with a cheat assuming she is indeed cheating? Simple question.

Nonsense You for seize the phone.nah, just seven months relationship, you are already crying she is chatting, meaning if you married her, you will zeise the phone.

I hope she run for her life, because this is a pointer that you are insecure .




Warey, she should not use phone, because she they date alpha male

BrighterSyde:
■No. You haven’t answered my question at all. A woman who is panning to settle down with a man is secretive of her phone. We both know she might be cheating. Now again I ask, if indeed she is cheating what do you think will be the outcome of such communication? She will readily admit and ask him to forgive him so they can live happily ever after? I have agreed that there is need for communication but at the right time. That answers or settles your point. Now answer mine this: what will be the outcome of discussing with a cheat assuming she is indeed cheating? Simple question.

Again,I did answer your question, more than once now, but somehow you expect me to say something different from what I have been saying all this while.

Whether she is cheating or not should not change anything of his need to communicate even his fears and anxieties with her since he is in a relationship with her. If OP communicates his fears and anxieties to her while she is cheating on him, whatever she does or responds does not matter. What matters in that case is OP has opened up and unburdened his mental of all the fears and anxieties clogging it up, finish!

If e resemble white na white

Very soon she will invite you for her wedding since you are not serious with her. From 7 months it will be 7 years. For ur information another bidder is giving her a better offer.

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

Very clear and simple to read her.

She is keeping her options open.
Her big phone is for you.

Small phone is for side guy..AKA PLAN B.

Small time PLAN C go enter.

Is a woman thing..But be smart and wise, If you are ready, go and marry her.

So you can comfortably put an end to plan B C.

You better focus on building your own career,no single Nigeria lady is faithful

Oyindidi:
I'm using same password with my partner. Here is no secret zone.. There are times family matters will come hard and I'll be speaking my dialect and glued to my phone and oga will be complaining, there are issues I can't disclose till I'm okay. I don't expect someone to be a cry baby crying all over Nairaland. Like yesterday that my nephew was arrested I was speaking in codes till we secured his bail.

"there are times". That's the difference. It is not everything that should be defended based on same gender, religion, tribe or politics.
I repeat, when you are guarding your "phone(s)" religiously in the house, something is definitely fish.

bigcasava1:
Very soon she will invite you for her wedding since you are not serious with her. From 7 months it will be 7 years. For ur information another bidder is giving her a better offer.

Na so dem dey believe until they realise that the "better offer" is nothing but scam.

EndRape2:
Nonsense You for seize the phone.nah, just seven months relationship, you are already crying she is chatting, meaning if you married her, you will zeise the phone.

I'm guessing you are proposing seven years before he starts "crying". Walahi, cheats are easier to spot. Laughing.

I hope she run for her life, because this is a pointer that you are insecure .

She better run. I hope she just knows when to stop running, otherwise she might keep running until she hits menopause. Are you, yourself still running?

Warey, she should not use phone, because she they date alpha male

We know your type, always going off just to derail and make the genuine concerns look petty

paulosan:
Hi Nairalanders,
I had to use this new moniker for the purpose of this post.

I have been going out with my lady for 7 months now, and the relationship has been beautiful with everything falling in the right places, she has most of the qualities i have always desired in a woman.

I traveled out of town for two weeks, i got back yesterday, she opted to make me something before i got back so she went to my house earlier yesterday to prepare food.

I noticed that since I got back she has been texting on her smaller phone and has been carrying the phone everywhere while leaving the big one on the bed or anywhere. She work up this morning and continued texting on that phone, i have been acting like i am not seeing all the moves so that i can actually find out what it is.

I am trying so hard to be calm in other not to make her realize and wipe anything that might be as a pointer to evidence.

I have been having different thoughts as to have to handle it:
1. I was thinking of checking the phone, depending on what i see, i will ask her who she has been texting, i will after a few days like i did not see anything.
2. The second thought was i ask her who she has been texting and request that she opens the text and we see together.

I don't want to jump into conclusion until i see what it is. I really don't know what to do, i am confused and i don't want to make mistakes with my marital life as i plan settling down.

Please advice me, criticism is welcomed as i know some people will come at me.

shey na your fiancee, woman where you wan. Be a man, Do this

when you see her texting on the phone. Collect am by force. Yes snatch it from her hand and read whatever message she is sending.

No need to comfornt her verbally why she did this or that. Just snatched the phone. If she react in defense, that means say something is up. Read the message and if you see anything you don't like break up with her. She belongs to the street. Women dey find husband mumu the zuzu.


If you no see anything apologize nothing go happen

maasoap:


"there are times". That's the difference. It is not everything that should be defended based on same gender, religion, tribe or politics.
I repeat, when you are guarding your "phone(s)" religiously in the house, something is definitely fish.

Nothing is fishy, people should know that life is not all about sex.

Mumu, It is better to enter menopause than to date or marry a damged man like you.





uote author=maasoap post=126692574]
I'm guessing you are proposing seven years before he starts "crying". Walahi, cheats are easier to spot. Laughing.


She better run. I hope she just knows when to stop running, otherwise she might keep running until she hits menopause. Are you, yourself still running?


We know your type, always going off just to derail and make the genuine concerns look petty [/quote]

Oyindidi:
Nothing is fishy,

Yeah, something is fishy, 100%.

people should know that life is not all about sex.

Who says it is? When you're guarding your phones in the house, you're definitely hiding something from your partner. It applies to anyone doing that.

EndRape2:
Mumu, It is better to enter menopause than to date or marry a damged man like you.

As a husband and a father, I'm 100% convinced that I'm better than your father. I'm not perfect but I try to be, at all times.

Mumu, you will worship my father feet if you see hiim pass, a well trained man, that trained his kids well, any body married to my family, do come back to worship my parent for a job weldone , but it is obvious the woman that married you is crying everyday of her life in pains .



Damaged soul.

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