Hey female in the house,
tell me how will you feel if you are in your girl friend's house, though both of you pay for the house rent, just after taking your bath her elder brother just enter the room where you are changing your clothe without knocking. later you told you friend and she went angry that you don't have the right to tell the brothers to knock before they enter the house.

Pls, I need someone to tell me what to do next because this is what is happening to me, i don't want to take wrong step in handling this issue.

thanks

First of all I am not a female, but I didn't see that it was meant for the ladies until i read the thread.  but there is equally no reason why a chap cannot contribute to what equally involve man and woman.

Few things aren't particularly clear,

1. Did you and your friend rent 1 room

2 Does your friend brother lives with you or just visit

3. why does your friend brother has to come to your bedroom assuming you and your girlfriend even share the same room.

If you own your own room in an apartment/flat/house, then what right has your friend brother has in coming into your own room, what is he looking for there, Knock or no Knock

There are so many questions, and my gut feeling is that your friend brother fancies you and he may not know how to tell/ask you or even ask her sister to tell you.

On the whole it look/sound childish to me., becasue unless he ask you or (God forbid) he force you or sex-attack you, he is just suffreing himself by seeing you when you are dressing etc.

Sit down with your friend and let her see the scenario if it were your brother that is peeping on her how would she feels.

The only person that is entiltle to see you when you are dressing or undressing is your husband/partner/boyfriend. And to be civil and polite her brother has no business coming into your bedroom even if you and his sister share one bedroom.

If there are very necessary reason for him to come into your bedoom, since he knew another person live in there apart from her own sister courtesy demands that he at least knock the door and wait for a coming in answer.

I hope you can resolve it without you loosing your friend. My instinct tells me that it was deliberate and the sister (your friend) knew about it , the guy fancy you and doesn't know how to ask you. if you like him, you can sit him down and say that is not how to go about it.
If you don't like him just tell him not ever to come into the room without knocking and waiting for a coming answer.

Alternatively, once you finish having your shower or you want to change bolt the door at the back or put something at the back of the door to stop anyone coming in.

Wish you all the best.

Thanks vigasimple,

the house in question is two rooms (a room and palour) and was rented by my friend's elder brother, then in July he got a job at port Harcourt and decided to move over there unfortunately the house rents expires that same month July. He packed all his property and even sold some to one of the tenant and told the sister that she can take care of herself, if she cannot pay for the house she should tell me so that we both can pay for it.

then i came to pay her a visit when this thing happened, she suggested to that we can pay for the house, thou i have my family house somewhere else of which she knows. None of the bothers ever want to pay for the house cause they were not in good term with the one that packed to Port Harcourt. this one that enter the room without knocking does not even come close to the house when the main owner was around and they are not of the same mother he is just a family friend from hate same state and village.


i paid for the house because she needed somewhere to stay because of her work not because i need a house. after some few days that (maga) started coming to sleep, we allowed him to sleep in the palour at night then in the morning time he goes for his okada business.

he's been entering the room on several occasion without knocking until the day he enter one minoring i was sleeping with a small nicker almost like pant with a Small jumper top when he entered with his phone as touch light looking all round the room. after telling my friend in the evening because she didn't sleep in the House that day, she did not say anything until four days later of which the guy has been coming there. she said that the guy came inside the room to look at the time and that i don't have the right to tell the brother where and where not to pass or to knock before entering the room.

the problem am having is that the two rooms has only one entrance and the center door that lead to the other room. Now she is not even talking to me any more, if i come back from work there is nothing like welcome like before and this has been happening for over two weeks we stay under the same roof and we don't exchange words which is very bad because where are not from the same tribe, i only came to know her through our youth fellowship in church.

THE WORST IS THAT SHE WANTS US (SHE AND I) TO MOVE TO ANOTHER APARTMENT WHICH IS ONLY ONE ROOM AND THERE IS NO PRIVACY THERE AND I HAVE BEEN ASKING HER IF THE BROTHER ARE STILL COMING TO SLEEP IN HATE SAME ONE ROOM WITH US BUT SHE WILL NOT RESPOND.

@ Baby tttt,


Sorry dear,

A.

you either continue with your friend and look the other way, bolt the door at the back when you are sleeping or changing or after bath   

OR

B.

you may have to move somewhere else on your own, you may ended up loosing  a 'friend' if she does not see your privacy as important.

Even if she wants you for her brother or her brother wants you, somebody will at least make an effort to speak to you to get a feel of what you think. I suspected you don't want the guy and nobody seems to pick that up, either your friend or her brother


I personally do not think you have any other option  apart from A or B above if you want to keep your sanity for a small issue that may degenerate into something big.

Good luck.

Baby_tttt, its a pity this is happening to you. More so that you paid for the apartment. And to compound it your 'friend' has taken the incident personal instead of cautioning her brother.
In the first instance you should not have allowed her brother to stay with you guys. going by what you recounted, i think he sees himself as part of the house and so do not have to knock b4 entering 'his' room. Let me be frank with you. As long as your friend has put up this attitude, the same thing will happen and even worse.

My humble advise? Separate from her. You can still remain friends but not live-in friends. She only seek for what she will get frm you and not what you will get frm her. Period