jaymichael:
If what you said was true, then it was your sister that wronged the man by spreading a false narrative against him in other to justify her leaving him because he was broke.
You have should be given commendation for finding out the true story and getting the clear picture of things.
Now you know the clear story, let wisdom, justice and equity guide you.

Rubbish! A broke ma. Who refuses to curb his sexual appetite so he does not bring more kids into poverty deserves to be abandoned/divorced abeg!

Let her go back to her husband so that they can train their children together.

However, before then let there be a family meeting where agreements will be reached on do's and dont's henceforth and the agreement must be documented with each parties appending their signatures.

The agreement should be drawn in such a way that the woman and her children will be protected.

Absuchat:

What is wrong with Nnewi men?

When you hear "I paid bride price..."

If you know, you know.

NdubisiCharles:
[/color] I JUST ASK MY JNR SIS NOW FOR THE FULL DETAILS, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LEFT BECAUSE OF HER LIFE,
1) SHE SEES NOTHING TO EAT WITH PREGNANCY,
2) SHE WENT TO STAY WITH MUM AT LEAST TO SEE SOMETHING EAT, AND SOMEBODY TO CARE FOR HER OMUGWO, (MATERNITY CARE)
3) THE GUY VISITED THEM THEN ALL OF A SUDDENLY HE STOP VISITING
4) HIS LIFE IS AT STAKE BECAUSE OF NO CARING FROM THE HUSBAND
5) THAT SHE WAS 19 AS OF THEN
6) SHE NEED PROOF FROM THE GUY BEFORE GOING BACK
7) SHE IS CONFUSE OF THE STEP TO TAKE[color=#990000]

All you listed here are still base on NO MONEY my guy as I said before, use idea and follow the man do as if you are angry with him, and reconcile them now delay is dangerous

NdubisiCharles:

Am afraid if is he for real or did he have any evil thing on mind, u know all this nnewi, Anambra men

You’re crazy, you’re asking for advice and stereotyping.

NdubisiCharles:
PLEASE I NEED MORE ADVICE ON THIS ISSUE I AM NOW LIKE THE MADIATOR HERE I DON'T WANT TO BE SCAPE GOAT HERE OR SHOULD I SAY ON MY OWN

Ket him ho and sign undertaking

Curiouscity:


Your 1st paragraph and last paragraph are contradictory.

1. When your sister told you or your family 8 years ago, that her husband abandoned her/children, did you verify? Did you or anyone within the family ask the man? Or you just believed your sister?

2. According to your last paragraph, did the man make any effort to reunite with the wife/kids? If yes, when? 8 years ago or recently?

3. Your sister confirmed that the man is not violent or diabolical, he was only broke. Does this sound logical that a broke man will abandon his loving wife and kids?

My take: Your sister painted the man as evil, you guys believed her without verification. Many families have been ruined by lies from women who couldn't stand by their husband during economic hardship. Except there are more to this story than you have shared.

Simple explanation, una go begin making it complicated. The woman alongside the two kids left him. The word "abandoned" came in because he didn't play any role in their lives for the past 8 years if I'm right.

NdubisiCharles:
I JUST ASK MY JNR SIS NOW FOR THE FULL DETAILS, SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE LEFT BECAUSE OF HER LIFE,
1) SHE SEES NOTHING TO EAT WITH PREGNANCY,
2) SHE WENT TO STAY WITH MUM AT LEAST TO SEE SOMETHING EAT, AND SOMEBODY TO CARE FOR HER OMUGWO, (MATERNITY CARE)
3) THE GUY VISITED THEM THEN ALL OF A SUDDENLY HE STOP VISITING
4) HIS LIFE IS AT STAKE BECAUSE OF NO CARING FROM THE HUSBAND
5) THAT SHE WAS 19 AS OF THEN
6) SHE NEED PROOF FROM THE GUY BEFORE GOING BACK
7) SHE IS CONFUSE OF THE STEP TO TAKE

Your Sister was nineteen 8 years ago?

□ Op, you still haven't told us what the man has been doing for 8 years though.
□ Is he now rich and able to feed 4 additional mouths?
□ Was he in prison or where exactly for the last 8 years?

frndfghtr:

All you listed here are still base on NO MONEY my guy as I said before, use idea and follow the man do as if you are angry with him, and reconcile them now delay is dangerous

Gbam!!!! you nail it, pretend u don't want but u want it, as we women use to do, stop stop stop and you are cuddling him hahaha

frndfghtr:
■ All you listed here are still base on NO MONEY my guy as I said before, use idea and follow the man do as if you are angry with him, and reconcile them now delay is dangerous

Reconcile with someone who probably has no money still to care for the 4 extra mouths?

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

Why don't you read before commenting gibberish.

Kobojunkie:
Your Sister was nineteen 8 years ago?

Op, you still haven't told us what the man has been doing for 8 years though. Is he now rich and able to feed 4 mouths?

up till now I don't know what the man is doing whether he is rish or poor, and my sis did not no know either, only that she send me the number he use to call her, I am thinking of taking this to wazobia fm, to roboski, but what it will unfold is my fear, here on niraland I have noto gotten strong or good advise, many are just insulting or typing offensively, please if you have been in my sis shoe before or you know someone on her shoe before pls mail me or advice me how they settle theirs amicable thanks

Joy002:
it baffles me so much, if you can take care of your 2kid's as a woman u can still take care of the man too for the main time, my mom was the bread winner of the family for over 4 years before my father bounce back, the down fall of a man is not the end of his life

My dear, our generation are always in a hurry
She came back for 8yrs now and no one dime it fit to know what happened? & Yet they didn't send her back or try to sort things out.
There's something they're not telling us

Kobojunkie:
It is quite possible OP is attempting to judge a situation without having all the details necessary to do so.

You will give anything to make this story end with the woman not returning to her husband🥴

They have survived this long without the deadbeat dad, they can continue to survive without him. He can find his way back to where he came from.

Kobojunkie:
Rubbish! A broke ma. Who refuses to curb his sexual appetite so he does not bring more kids into poverty deserves to be abandoned/divorced abeg!

Pikin wey say him papa no try, sebi e don reach him turn now. Being broke is not a disease, it is not evil. Choosing to remain broke and being comfortable in it is what I have a problem with.
We were not told of the man's financial status before marriage, bad business or any ill could have affected his finances, we weren't told and I responded based on the information supplied.
Even if the man was poor as an empty pocket, her eyes were not blind when her was paying her bride price and when she was entering the marriage.
They both made the baby together, she could have used contraceptives during copulation so she was equally responsible for the kids as him.
Lastly, I am not a kid and don't expect me to respond as one.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who brought this story here, I know the story or is this one different from yhe one I know

NdubisiCharles:
■ up till now I don't know what the man is doing whether he is rish or poor, and my sis did not no know either, only that she send me the number he use to call her, I am thinking of taking this to wazobia fm, to roboski, but what it will unfold is my fear, here on niraland I have noto gotten strong or good advise, many are just insulting or typing offensively, please if you have been in my sis shoe before or you know someone on her shoe before pls mail me or advice me how they settle theirs amicable thanks

Why take it to Wazobia radio? Why not go yourself and investigate the man to figure out where he has been for the last 8 years, whether he is fairing better now and able to feed 4 additional mouths or....?

Your sister said money was her reason for leaving. So why not go check whether the man don get money now or he is looking for head to use to make money.

Yes, I said it.... poverty can make people do the most stupidest of things.

this is a very DIFFICULT problem. you have to find out exactly why she left. Try to know the exact story!

the fact that the man did not call to know how is children are doing all these years is a very big problem.
did he even try to reconcile when she left

and what did your family do all these years with him? did you try to reconcile them?

Kobojunkie:
It is quite possible OP is attempting to judge a situation without having all the details necessary to do so.

Even after the sister collaborated the story?

Beremx:
So it's because the man doesn't have money he's requesting for your sister to come back? Probably he has lavished all he had on women and he's now looking for his wife to come suffer with him.
Your sister should move on with her life and take care of the kids.
Nonsense

How do you read? Do you confuse "was" for "is"?

jaymichael:
■ Pikin wey say him papa no try, sebi e don reach him turn now. Being broke is not a disease, it is not evil. Choosing to remain broke and being comfortable in it is what I have a problem with.
We were not told of the man's financial status before marriage, bad business or any ill could have affected his finances, we weren't told and I responded based on the information supplied.
Even if the man was poor as an empty pocket, her eyes were not blind when her was paying her bride price and when she was entering the marriage.
They both made the baby together, she could have used contraceptives during copulation so she was equally responsible for the kids as him.
Lastly, I am not a kid and don't expect me to respond as one.

She shouldn't have taken any necessary steps to curb the breeding and suffering because they both created the kids? She should probably have sat back there with the man, watched her kids continue to starve, and probably produce more with him instead?

Fxwarrior:
■ Even after the sister collaborated the story?

If you read the OP'S update, you would see there is indeed more to the story. She ran away because she was pregnant and starving. Her life and the life of her kids were at stake. Was she supposed to sit back there and watch them and the unborn one die of starvation?

osazsky:
if it's nnewi men,my bro ensure with ur life that she doesn't return to him..igbos are cheat..dangerous killers.she may end up in a body bag it's a death trap run run run all igbos are murderers

🫤

NdubisiCharles:

Am afraid if is he for real or did he have any evil thing on mind, u know all this nnewi, Anambra men

To hell with your sister.

NdubisiCharles:
Good day pals, I have a sister whose husband abandoned for the past 8 yrs now,
with kids, male and female, the boy is now 9yrs, while the girl is now 8 yrs, my sis was abandoned after giving birth to the little girl.
She single handedly took the children far away and keep raising them up till date, now this is happening.

Yesterday, I received a call from my young sis, saying that her forgotten husband just called and was pleading for her return, that what will she do, that she needs my advice as senior, for me not to fall into conclusion I gave her 48 hours to reply to her, .....

Today I called the man (husband) he sounds so calm, "he said he need them back, he told me that he never chase my sis away, that it was my sis that carry her bag and left his house. Ran away with the 2kids, that he paid my sis bride price, he has visited my family for reconciliation but sis said she ain't going back that hunger is in the house, he admitted that then he was broke, "that he is not a drunker, womanizer, fetish, or never lay hand on my sis, and that he is God fearing man" only that he has no money when asked my sis she confirmed it.

Please friends advice me on what to do

You don't give advice in the circumstance except you are equipped with the skill to read people. You need to invite the husband to your place with his wife and let him repeat what he's requesting from the wife.

While he's talking you can make a good assessment of his genuine intentions or otherwise.

The following should be a guide to assess his readiness for a new start. It's never too late to restart:

1. Does he have a job or earning any income now?

2. Does he have accommodation for the family now?

3. What new thing has he learnt about marriage in the last 8yrs.

4. Ask your sister what made her to pack out the last time.

5. What's the assurance that she is going to stay now irrespective of the condition in the family.

6. Is she ready to assist her husband this time around with her own resources without insulting him in case things are not going smoothly.

By the time you are done with these questions you should be able to say go back or stay where you are.

It’s your sister’s decision to go back or not

NdubisiCharles:
Good day pals, I have a sister whose husband abandoned for the past 8 yrs now,
with kids, male and female, the boy is now 9yrs, while the girl is now 8 yrs, my sis was abandoned after giving birth to the little girl.
She single handedly took the children far away and keep raising them up till date, now this is happening.

Yesterday, I received a call from my young sis, saying that her forgotten husband just called and was pleading for her return, that what will she do, that she needs my advice as senior, for me not to fall into conclusion I gave her 48 hours to reply to her, .....

Today I called the man (husband) he sounds so calm, "he said he need them back, he told me that he never chase my sis away, that it was my sis that carry her bag and left his house. Ran away with the 2kids, that he paid my sis bride price, he has visited my family for reconciliation but sis said she ain't going back that hunger is in the house, he admitted that then he was broke, "that he is not a drunker, womanizer, fetish, or never lay hand on my sis, and that he is God fearing man" only that he has no money when asked my sis she confirmed it.

Please friends advice me on what to do

Hmm....I taught this was the case of my wife's sister in law hubby, who left the wife and 3 children for 8 years as well, only to come and starts pleading for reunion with his family which the wife gave in for atlast. Unfortunately, the man came back with a child and other 3 still outside and a gift of HIV, tuberculosis and scabies for himself.


Please before your sister accept him, the man should subject himself to HIV testing and other medical tests. Run a background check on him to know the major reason why he wants his family together again. And finally, try and find out if it is case of beans gone sour between the man and her cruised side chick because he can't be only for 8 years.

real28:
■ Hmm....I taught this was the case of my wife's sister in law hubby, who left the wife and 3 children for 8 years as well, only to come and starts pleading for reunion with his family which the wife gave in for atlast. Unfortunately, the man came back with a child and other 3 still outside and a gift of HIV, tuberculosis and scabies for himself.
Please before your sister accept him, the man should subject himself to HIV testing and other medical tests. Run a background check on him to know the major reason why he wants his family together again. And finally, try and find out if it is case of beans gone sour between the man and her cruised side chick because he can't be only for 8 years.

NdubisiCharles, you better learn from these.

NdubisiCharles:

Am afraid if is he for real or did he have any evil thing on mind, u know all this nnewi, Anambra men

wetin my bros do your sis?
Be calming down o
I don see shege for my marriage of 15 years and l have not given up/ l will not give up
It gets worst sometimes b4 it gets better..

Believe me no marriage perfect

shortIGBOman:


They are the original rutualist and drug pushers

comot there
Them use you?

Ndidi2:
■ wetin my bros do your sis o. Be calming down o I don see shege for my marriage of 15 years and l have not given up/ l will not give up. It gets worst sometimes b4 it gets better.. Believe me no marriage perfect

No be everybody get your kind stamina. Each person should know when to call it quits too.

There are women out there who have endured worse beatings in marriage and continue to endure it even to today believing it gets worse sometimes b4 I gets better. Osinachi was probably thinking exactly that too, believing she too was built like those women only she found out the hard way that she was nothing like them.

Make we leave individuals to decide for themselves how to handle their own marriage situation abeg! All married women, including OP'S sister don't need to settle for the same lot as you in marriage. Let each decide for self.