SSpeter:
■ Happiness is an illusion, happiness is just moments, it comes and goes as humans we cannot truly be happy...we just have to accept it and move on

Life is a string of exactly thoze moments. So if you can achieve that one happy moment after another happy moment and so on, that is what it means to have happiness.

TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage

ur head get Sense

Gboom:
■ Are you married? Have you encountered what the OP is experiencing?
There are 3 sides of a story, you are only reading one

There are no 3 sides to loneliness...there is just you in it, and the one and only solution also comes from you. No one else can solve your loneliness problem on your behalf.

FromZeroToHero:
■ My younger sister is currently experiencing this in her marriage. The husband is a narcissist who always find fault in everything she does.

The only person who can solve her case is she. Once loneliness sets in, it becomes a personal more than it is a marriage problem.

Iamzik:
■ Everybody need somebody. This woke ideology that you don't need anybody is wrong

Yes, it is good to have somebody but loneliness does not care whether you have somebody or nobody. Once it latches on, the resolution has to come from you and you alone.

TheWinterBird:
Did you date appropriately [no sex, no rushing into the marriage because of pregnancy] before marrying him? Because if you dated properly, you would've gotten to know him well, along with this unnamed addiction that was likely there before the marriage and determine whether you two were compatible before moving forward into the marriage.

So he cannot develop an addiction after getting married ? People change bro, it's something perfectly human.

Cromagnon:

Is that what your bible says

I'm not a Christian

Iamzik:


Everybody need somebody. This woke ideology that you don't need anybody is wrong

You're right! I realized this just few days ago.

TimT:

If there are kids, then develop care, attention and time to them..
If there are no kids then divorce and leave the marriage...
For a loveless marriage can lead you depression...
Marriage is not bondage....
There are a million people out there that can give/make your life a sense of direction and give you joy... Don't die slowly in a loveless marriage

Op this person has said it all. Na happiness and peace of mind be everything o. No come die because of one person wey no value or see ur importance

Accept Jesus into your spirit and intentionally & deliberately renew your mind with the word of God-this makes you have a new concept of what marriage truly is ,this in turn changes your expectations.Your expectations because hithertho your problem was that you have a wrong concept of what marriage is as stipulated by the One that established it.

Greatmind653:
there's nothing he's complaining. Rather his chosen lifestyle is what is killing the love and affection here.

Apologies I misread the issue. I thought he had his complaints.
You will need to pick urself up again and maybe seek the help of elders who can sit both of you down.
There is nothing prayer too can do. Not just when things go south but even when things are fine.

constantly travel , get busy in another state and constantly go for 15days 1 week , 10 days, even 1month sometimes. It create that vibe of dating and you guys will miss each other again

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

Mindlog:


You started out your "counselling" with allocating the cause to the wife as if a man do not have the capacity to be dysfunctional on his own!.

Fight for a marriage with an addict who have no desire to change, Uncle you seem to live in an alternate universe.

Go to rehabilitation facilities.....many men, don't get visitations from their wives and even their own birth families, it shows they are tired of his shenanigans.

Apologies, I didn't get the msg well. I initially thought the man had his complaints. I just found out it's an addiction problem

It is impossible to change a person, if they are not willing to change.

You can try to appeal to his emotion, influence him, show him how important he is to you. Maybe pray for him.

God bless you.

Combating loneliness, achieving contentment, being happy...these are things that can only come from within. And they are things that are more important than anything. More important than marriage, children, or whatever.

Don't fall into the popular fallacies of:

1. You are now one after marriage: No. You are still an individual. And as an individual, it is your duty to make yourself happy. Reduce your loneliness. Etc.

2. Communication is the best way to solve your problems: No. If you share this issue you face with your husband, it'd only bring new issues in your marriage as he would suspect you and also view you as unloving, ungrateful, and can't understand the situation as you. So instead, find ways to solve your loneliness problems yourselves. Read books, watch related movie/documentation on your situation, to find possible solutions.

3. Marriage Counselling: No. Same reasons with the first two. Even much worse as you would have a large focus on the problem and watch it grow. Instead of taking actions. Instead, take actions from what you learnt in number two.

Even in marriage, there are some things you solve as an individual and from within. One of which is loneliness. If you can do that, it only helps the marriage more.

Jayboi:


Apologies, I didn't get the msg well. I initially thought the man had his complaints. I just found out it's an addiction problem

OK...Noted.

Gboom:

Are you married? Have you encountered what the OP is experiencing?
There are 3 sides of a story, you are only reading one

What OP is experiencing, is part of my daily bread

That is the best form of relationship.

Mindlog:


What OP is experiencing, is part of my daily bread

What caused your own loneliness? Is it distant relationship or your hubby is the busy type?

Kobojunkie:
Yes, it is good to have somebody but loneliness does not care whether you have somebody or nobody. Once it latches on, the resolution has to come from you and you alone.

Kobojunkie are you ok now? I heard you fell sick when nairaland server was down for two days, it was the first time you didn't comment on nairaland for twos days for the past 16years that you have been on nairaland.

A lot of Marriages are failing this days. Wifes not aggreeing with husbands is no longer new. Reasons for the misunderstanding varies and are valid to the couples. A lot of women want their husbands to do more as to earn more so they could live a good life but the husbands see those as pressure to take quick and risky decisions. Disagreements amongs couples could lead to loneliness and if stretched, u'll see the man either masturbating, visit hotels or have a side chick who becomes the main chick.
A healthy home is built by the man and his wife. Women must learn to drop pride, knowing that the man is the head of the family.
I have seen that a woman who loves a man even during boyfriend/girlfriend relationship will always plead with the man when he is angry even if its ghe woman thats right but when love is lost, the woman wont care how the man feels even in a marriage. My advice, if u can't continue, u better separate before one person kills the other as we all know, love and turn to deep hatred.

The addiction is not explicit but I guess it could be masturbation. If it is, it's usually difficult to break out of it except with strong will to stop it and supernatural intervention. Why because the masturbator derives satisfaction in what he/she's doing and makes the other spouse feel neglected and lonely.

My advice is to go on with your dreams, make yourself happy and live a fulfilled life

TimT:

I'm not a Christian

is that what your Quran says

Cromagnon:
is that what your Quran says

I'm not a Muslim either....
Besides, there are lots of religion existing besides these two...
Oya rest

Gboom:

What caused your own loneliness? Is it distant relationship or your hubby is the busy type?

"is part of my daily bread" means I get paid for actively listening to such experience in therapy sessions.

send me a mail on mastervikk@gmail.com

Greatmind653:
How do you handle loneliness in marriage?
There's no intention of cheating, but lonely.
Like a very deep space between you and your partner, due to the fact that he has a particular lifestyle (addiction) inflicting stress on everyone in the family that you don't like, but he has refused to change.
This has removed love, intim.acy and affection in the marriage, thereby making it look so empty. Like you both can stay months without touching each other.
How do you manage such home/relationship?

Kingrshd3:


I can see u still have much more to say but u are just trying to put it in a simple manner or way please can u elucidate the addiction he is finding it difficult to stop?

he no fit pass gambling...oga...na bet9ja

Starz825:


he no fit pass gambling...oga...na bet9ja

I dey tell you 😁😅😁

[quote author=BloomingDale post=127549103][/quote]
Not always true in all cases

in fact ladies are the ones who ain't always ready for marriage...


they teach tolerance and patience cos most ladies don't know what it take to be a submissive wife.....

Women wants Love and provision.

Men wants Respect and support. thats all...

thats the standard for me ...everyone should know their role...I will love and provide for you...I want you to respect and support me in any way possible...that's all

Starz825:

Not always true in all cases

in fact ladies are the ones who ain't always ready for marriage...


they teach tolerance and patience cos most ladies don't know what it take to be a submissive wife.....

Women wants Love and provision.

Men wants Respect and support. thats all...

thats the standard for me ...everyone should know their role...I will love and provide for you...I want you to respect and support me in any way possible...that's all

Love and provide for me? Even your so called Bible says “Cursedth be a man that puts his trust in another man”. Ladies, you better be financially free from your husband. Nothing like love in this day and age. If you depend on your husband to provide for you, be ready to be a slave and suffer lots and lots of abuses.

BloomingDale:


Love and provide for me? Even your so called Bible says “Cursedth be a man that puts his trust in another man”. Ladies, you better be financially free from your husband. Nothing like love in this day and age. If you depend on your husband to provide for you, be ready to be a slave and suffer lots and lots of abuses.

so who said ladies shouldn't make their own money....how do my woman financially supports me if she doesn't make her own money.....personally I don't mind if my woman is richer sef...its her destiny so I will support it

I don't have a problem with that....what I'm saying is...women don't have to be misandrists....there are men who understands the value of marriage and are ready to give their best...you just need to pray to God so you can meet with one..

Women on the other hand must learn to understand that the responsible man she is married to is the head of the family....and she's expected to give him the respect and honor as at when due....

irresponsible men are the only ones you can go head to head with...

I dont see the reason why some ladies do that to a responsible man...they just create unnecessary issues with their men just cos of their big baby attitudes...

when you meet a good/ responsible man...let your guard down and show some respect...he go love you die.....

Starz825:


so who said ladies shouldn't make their own money....how do my woman financially supports me if she doesn't make her own money.....personally I don't mind if my woman is richer sef...its her destiny so I will support it

I don't have a problem with that....what I'm saying is...women don't have to be misandrists....there are men who understands the value of marriage and are ready to give their best...you just need to pray to God so you can meet with one..

Women on the other hand must learn to understand that the responsible man she is married to is the head of the family....and she's expected to give him the respect and honor as at when due....

irresponsible men are the only ones you can go head to head with...

I dont see the reason why some ladies do that to a responsible man...they just create unnecessary issues with their men just cos of their big baby attitudes...

when you meet a good/ responsible man...let your guard down and show some respect...he go love you die.....

Not everyone believes in your so called Bible. Moreover more women are better managers. The marriages that last the most and are more functional are Atheist marriages, cos they believe in whomever is a better leader leads or they can both be co leaders. Nothing like the head cos you have something swinging btw your legs or your misogynist bible written by men lead by a fictional god said so.