@ Poster you are really a very funny person.
Thanks for putting this smile on my face

why is it that only men fart? or only men confessing? women, una no dey fart? please ladies in the house answer.

Lol

Na anointing nau!

Hahahahaha! Funniest topic so far. I think God would understand. After all its nature calling and you ve to answer it.

Lmao, This is serious. It normally happens when the weather is hot. I feel you pain. Lol

Reading this topic has made my day go from good to better. I just cant stop laughing

Funny thread! I walked into my colleague’s office sometime ago and the place smelled like something had died there! I’m sure he was embarrassed but who knows with this oyinbos!

Do you know that when someplace stinks of fart, they will just pretend like nothing smells?

Like someone said earlier, what if the pastor was the main culprit?

On the tenth floor alone in the elevator, then I removed the lid on my anus, so relieved was I that I did not noticed that the lift had stopped on the 8th floor, a lady walked in, the stenched could not permit her to say hi, I was so embarrased, she had to jumped out on the next floor. RITA am sori

subscribing and laffing ,

Let me add sth to the house

http://www.iranian.com/main/blog/bubbly/story-fart-and-passing-gas

The Story Of Fart And Passing Gas


Share


by bubbly
02-Mar-2010

Worldly Wisdom: Farts and passing gas are free. All sound and stink bombs are welcome. They are neither male nor female. They are nature’s gift to mankind. So donate generously. Btw, there is laughing gas and there is tear gas but there is only one passing gas that is your great (dis)service to your peers. There are nuclear bombs and other bombs but none to match the sound bomb that can scare the enemy and win any war.

This is the story of a constipation doctor.

An elderly lady once complained to me that she passed gas many times a day. "It's really more of a nuisance than a problem. They're silent and they don't smell.
I gave her a prescription and asked her to come back in a week.
She: (after a week) I don't know what it was you gave me, doc, but I still pass gas all the time. It is still silent, but it smells terribly!
I: Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, we'll see what we can do for your hearing.

I was listening to a radio talk show the other day. The voice began listing all the problems caused by passing gas, including the 'deadly fumes' that linger long for 'hours' after the smell is gone, saying how it wasn't just taboo ‘it can be deadly,’ and ‘hundreds of infants a year die’ from passed gas.

You know, one time I farted so badly that I had to spend 15 years in jail, for air pollution.

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me, Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

A man was pissing in a street when a cop spots him.
"You can’t do that here! It'll cost you Rs 300 in fine."
The man gives him a Rs 500 note. The cop says: "But I haven't any change"
"No worries, you can keep it, cos I dropped a couple of farts as well, "

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

Statistics show that Indians pass enough gas to fuel every car on the road in India today. However, the Indian Government is totally against it, just because of three stupid people researching the study, died doing the tests.

Why do farts stink? So that deaf people can enjoy them also!

Nobody listens to me until I fart.

Never fart in a wetsuit.

Rules for where/in which situations never to fart: Inside a crowded Lift; Inside a public library; On a crowded train; Whilst giving a speech, In Church, Whilst on a date, In a packed lecture theatre, In your office, At a cinema, In a walk-in freezer - it'll linger a while, In a ticket line, On an airplane, During confession, In the bed, whilst feeling frisky, In bed when you're feeling frisky, While fighting fire in a burning building, In a patrol car for a minor violation.

Rules for when to fart: Bosses office as you are about to leave. - make sure it's silent but violent, In a bathroom, In the cashiers’ line - it's bound to speed things up, The empty elevator before you get off, Besides an occupied dressing room - no doubt it'll quickly become unoccupied, Your co-workers cubicle at the office, When deep sea diving, Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested, In your car if you've been carjacked, During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors.

Phew!!!

wow! I never knew there was gonna be a chance for me to laugh. Even my parents and siblings don pursue me enter room, my maale don dey cast and bind, she think say na ogbanje spirit as i dey roll for ground. Rotflmao.

Laugh no go kill person for NL.

Actually, there's nothing wrong in farting in church. It's a free gift of nature and God created nature. So, there you have it.

afam4eva:

Laugh no go kill person for NL.

Actually, there's nothing wrong in farting in church. It's a free gift of nature and God created nature. So, there you have it.

It is wrong and a bad manner.

Andre Uweh:

It is wrong and a bad manner.

Bad manner? yes. Wrong? I'm not sure.

A church ursher should be designated to smell the buttocks of church members to find out the actual culprit under such a circumstance. People should respect holy places.

This thread is hilarious ROTFLOL . . .

I'm shocked and my gob is well and truly smacked that so far no one has mentioned the great man himself!

The Farting Preacher

[flash=400,300]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OPw-k3ib2U[/flash]

OMG!!!! I'm laughing and farting at the same time, Yeee!!! I don wound o

There is no law banning farting in church or anywhere. so anybody can fart anywhere he chooses, so it is not a sin.

iDied!
Funniest thread ever! This poster is hilarity personified! Dead rat for lunch?? Spirit huddled and gagging in a corner?? ​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)) Roflmfaolwkmdfhldtmb!!!!!
Let's not even start with all the comments and confessions of everyone! Lmfao!

X-Boy:

 This reminds me of my school days , na person wey fart dey vex most.
I remember once when we farted one rotten egg fart during class,the teacher just closed all the windows, put off the fan, walked out and lock all the of us in the class for a grueling 30 mins of pain

mern, your teacher wicked sha o na dat kin mess wey dey kill rat.
To hold mess no easy o. That thing na die.

The decibels of these fart are really something else. Some; the sound of a starting generator, some; the sound of a closing ghana-must-go zip. Some sound are High-Tempo'ed like BlackEyedPeas Beats!

Andre Uweh:

A church ursher should be designated to smell the buttocks of church members to find out the actual culprit under such a circumstance. People should respect holy places.

please are you by chance an ursher?

This is so hilarious! i am laughing so hard right now.
Farting na part of God's work o, imagine if those terrible smell stays in one's system for long. Besides, you can't tell how heavy it'll turn out to be. But if you must do it, just excuse yourself to the nearest toilet.

In mosques however, it's easy to tell who the culprit is. You have to make another ablution whenever you fart in the middle of solat (prayer).

EfeEkarume:

The decibels of these fart are really something else. Some; the sound of a starting generator, some; the sound of a closing ghana-must-go zip. Some sound are High-Tempo'ed like BlackEyedPeas Beats!

ROTFLMCAO! mehn this is hilarious yet so true! hahhahahaahha

Funny thread
I cant stop laughing

Andre Uweh:

It is wrong and a bad manner.

How could you say it's a bad manner? Do you think the culprit did it deliberately? Can you imagine how long he/she held it and couldn't hold it any longer? He even tried to release it without making a sound. Ain't we our brother's keeper? At such times the best thing would be to endure and reflect on what that dear brother or sister could be going through, the tremor of flatulence rumbling in his stomach and sympathy will swallow your disgust.

It would only be a bad manner if the farter did it on purpose without any real and concerted effort to hold it until after church service.

Make me sef confess as all have sinned and come short of glory. . .

So back in uni, I went to see my buddy @ his off-campus residence, and wyl gisting decide to let one rip! Omg! D mess peel d guy paint!
Infact, we almost both fainted! Unfortunately for me, one cultist neighbour of his that likes weed chose that moment to come borrow something. The guy walks in, starts sniffing, and is like WTF?! Omo, see exasperation o! My guy had to snitch on me infact! Na so the guy use vex comot d room, But the gaddem mess refused to evaporate!!! Kai! I was so embarrassed even tho I was laffing my ass off! The poor guy came back 30mins later, that same mess was still booming, infact na dat time I see vex!! The guy just dey para, dey hala, dey vex say which kain tin be dis sef, shay na alien mess?? (person wey don weed finish). . . Ah aah? No be say na even am get room o! Infact, that mess na Bruce Lee, enter the dragon! ;-D
. . . Till dis day, my friend name that mess "copy and paste", onto say e be like computer process!
Zamx, I'm sorry for breaking ur louvre with mess bro! No vex biko! :-p

Gods' a spirit and we have to worship him in truth and in spirit.

Holiness is next to godliness.

pls dont fart in the house of God. My fathers house must not smell bad

cicero:

How could you say it's a bad manner? Do you think the culprit did it deliberately? Can you imagine how long he/she held it and couldn't hold it any longer? He even tried to release it without making a sound. Ain't we our brother's keeper? At such times the best thing would be to endure and reflect on what that dear brother or sister could be going through, the tremor of flatulence rumbling in his stomach and sympathy will swallow your disgust.

It would only be a bad manner if the farter did it on purpose without any real and concerted effort to hold it until after church service.

LWKMD! Are you for real??