A man went to a saloon 4a
haircut.
Man:how much to cut hair?
Barber:500naira, man!
Man:haba! Dats expensive, ok
how much to shave?
Barber:50naira.
Man:abeg come shave my
head,

The
Navy found they had too many
officers and decided to offer an
early
retirement bonus. They promised
any officer who volunteered for
Retirement, a bonus of $1,000
for
every inch measured in a straight
line between any Two points in
his
body,
The officer got to choose what
those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted
asked that he be measured from
the top of his head to the tip of
his toes.
He was measured at six feet and
walked out with a bonus of
$72,000.
The
second officer who accepted
was a little smarter and asked to
be
measured from the tip of his
outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked Out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-
commissioned officer, a grizzly
old Chief who, when asked
where he would like to be
measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to my
testicles.'
It
was suggested by the pension
man that he might want to
reconsider,
explaining about the nice big
checks the previous two Officers
had
received.
But the old Chief insisted and
they decided to go along with
him providing the measurement
was taken by a Medical Officer.
The
Medical Officer arrived and
instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,'
which
he did. The medical officer placed
the tape measure on the tip of
the
Chief's weenie and began to
work back. "Dear Lord!", he
suddenly
exclaimed,
''Where are your testicles?''
The old Chief calmly replied, ''
Vietnam !!''

Worlahi the joke is dryily badt. No offense

There was a crazy couple who
had been married for 20 years
and whenever they wanted to
make love the husband will insist
that they switch off the light, this
was what went on for 11 yrs
then one night the wife out of
curiosity switched on the light
during one of their love making
sessions and found out that the
husband was using an electronic
sexual device on her and in
frustration the wife yelled YOU
IMPOTENT BASTARD NOW EXPLAIN
WHAT ALL THESE IS ALL
ABOUT!!!!!!! the husband
remained calm and looked into
her eyes and said I WILL EXPLAIN
THIS IF U CAN EXPLAIN THE KIDS!!

A
man wanted to surprise his
wife on their 10th wedding
anniversary,he
went to the bar with his wife.
When he left for the counter to
order
drinks for them,a prostitute
approached his wife &
whispered:
You must DEMAND cash before
sex, i know him, he doesn't pay.

too long
thought i was reading a text book


Exits Thread

Yeah, too long. Buh u enjoyed it, no doubt.

*SMART MOTHER*
A woman and her
ten- year-old son were riding in
a taxi in Mumbai. It was raining
and
all the prostitutes were
standing under the awnings.
Mom, said the boy,
what are all those women
doing? They' re waiting for their
husbands to
get off work,
she replied. The taxi driver
turns around and says,
Geez lady, why dont you tell
him the truth? They are
hookers, boy! They
have sex with men for money.
The little boys eyes get wide
and he says,
Is that true, Mom? His mother,
glaring hard at the driver,
answers in
the affirmative. After a few
minutes, the kid asks, Mom,
what happens to
the babies those women have?
most of them become taxi
drivers, she
said.

Dis happened real life, for real.
A conversation between a
Nigerian governor and a
journalist.(note: unrest means a
political situation in which
people are angry and likely to
protest.)
Journalist:sir,why is there unrest
in Nigerian universities?
Governor:ah,why should
students rest, they should be
reading their books oh they must
not rest.

An asthmatic woman in her mid
'50s' had an asthmatic attack
and was rushed to the hospital.
She fell into coma and was
opportuned to see God. She
asked God whether her time
was up but God replied that she
had 40yrs, 10 months, 4weeks
& three days to live. When she
came out of coma, she decided
to go for a cosmetic surgery in
order to enjoy the many years
she still had to live. She had a
face lift,tummy tuck, lip
sunction and so on.
Three days later she left the
hospital.as she was crossing an
express near her house she
was hit by a trailer & she
died.On getting to heaven she
asked God why he had to let
her die .God told her He
couldn't recognise her anymore, dat was y :-P

There was this girl that loved to
climb on the mango tree to get
some fruits. And whenever she
climbed up the tree some silly
guys came under to stare at her
under pants. These made the girl
furious. So, she reported this to
her mom when she got home.
So, her mom adviced her, "don't
allow them look at you pant
again." And the girl replied yes
mommy. So, she went back to the
tree and these boys came under
to look at her under pants again.
The smart little girl remembered
her mother's advice, came down
from the tree, took of her
pants and went back up. So that
the boys wouldn't see her pant.

Okay ajibel, i finally noticed u. Are u happy now?!

Stop copy pasting and write me a good joke jor

mtchew

mehn, i dunno y i get to read the same joke over and over again. . Aint the new onez?

3rd and 4th jokes. . .copied from me

For your shallow mind now,

@Dani. Sorry to have disappointed u, i'll try better next time.
@Studio forget it okay? I wouldn't date u for d world aight? All dis just to take notice of u, d hating and all d crap. Buh sorry my secret admirer u don't fit dat perfect picture. I see dat u've even been stalking me, cos how on earth do u know i'm dark.;-) buh well, ain't no crime to trip for a gurl! :-P

@booquee you try o. I like your style. Forget bad belle people.

@Booqea,notice who Ur just a joblessful joker.

Yeah agybabe, dem be bad belle oh!

Ajibel:

@Booqea,notice who your just a joblessful joker.

i wonder who's jobless ere, i guess d time should be about 1:30am dere. u oughtta be sleepin, buh wat u doin? Ur dissing in d midnight. Try and give ur retarded brain a good nyt rest, K?! And oh by d way, while u're at it, try learning correct and clean english, dere's no word (or even slang at dat) like 'joblessful'! Jeez, u've such terrible english coming from ur mouth! Dang!

booqee:


@Studio forget it okay? I wouldn't date u for d world aight? All dis just to take notice of u, d hating and all d crap. Buh sorry my secret admirer u don't fit dat perfect picture. I see dat u've even been stalking me, cos how on earth do u know i'm dark.;-) buh well, ain't no crime to trip for a gurl! :-P

Indirectly you don dey trip for me and want me to do whats right (toast you) abi?

Sorry o

I dont have time for a  Failed Model like you. . .hang yourself

Studio. Like i told u you're d last thing i'll date, i repeat, i don't do urglee boiz and a little child at dat, i'm not into child abuse. U commented on my post first so i could notice u and not d oda way round, u foooolll. What on earth do i need to stalk u for? You're uglierrr dan a baboon!

U dis mortuary attendant why not post your own pic lets see your burnt face naw

abi u dey fear? Cuz i just checked your profile and what u wrote was Hhhmmm. .
What is hhmmm failed model??

@booqee and studio cfr take it easy and not personal. This is a joke section. But i guess she is damn serious studio.

Cuz i said her jokes aint funny then she started throwing insults?
She's Bigotry. . .she gats change

people like her aint supposed to be in jokes section. . . And i'm very very serious bout this

Studio even if u wouldn't take to any of my advice, take dis one, "grow up" pls. Just pls do.
And 4 ur info i'm no fashion model(i even wonder where u got d idea from). Buh i'm very very proud of how my God created me, so most definitely, dats my picture i uploaded!:-P i dunno bout u.
Again, grow up. It'll do u more good dan harm, trust me.
Well i'm done wiv using swear words, ok?

Studio u started wiv d insult and u know it!

You not fit to be n jokes section. . . Move to Romance or sexuality please i'm begging you

booqee:

Studio. Like i told u you're d last thing i'll date, i repeat, i don't do urglee boiz and a little child at dat, i'm not into child abuse. U commented on my post first so i could notice u and not d oda way round, u foooolll. What on earth do i need to stalk u for? You're uglierrr dan a baboon!

happy salla bogee!

i suggest you guys should ignore each other if this isn't a joke. Maybe later you guys might be in good terms. Insults are jokes on this section, don't take it personal. Do like say e no pain and talk your own back.

Ok agybabe, i fink i'm gonna stick to ur advice. Dat'll be best.