Yes, in olden days nigeria, if you are a grown kid (meaning anything from 13+ for the purposes of this discussion), you dont stand around idly while your father lunges heavy suitcases all over the place.

If you try to do so, a couple of heavy slaps will bring you your senses quite quickly. Nobody will tell you next time before you know what to do.

Nigerian fathers have softened somewhat nowadays, with the advent of globalization, travelling overseas, etc, so a lot of dads would be lifting their own heavy luggage without minding much. Besides, if the kids get hurt while carrying luggage, na wahala be that. Or they could also spoil the luggage by dropping it if it's too heavy.

So, everybody has adapted to modern life.

The dads mentioned on the thread are obviously old fashioned hence their seemingly strange behaviour. But its not really that strange.

Miss_Ife, there is nothing communication cannot do, i can imagine myself struggling with our baby and my hubby is walking infront me expecting me to carry the luggage, infact by the time i scream!!!!!!!!!!!!! his name, he would stop, reverse and help me carry the luggage, even if he is the one ''spoon feeding'' me 100%. That attitude, will not survive in my marraige, mbanu!!!!!.

ronkebp:

Miss_Ife, there is nothing communication cannot do, i can imagine myself struggling with our baby and my hubby is walking infront me expecting me to carry the luggage, infact by the time i scream!!!!!!!!!!!!! his name, he would stop, reverse and help me carry the luggage, even if he is the one ''spoon feeding'' me 100%. That attitude, will not survive in my marraige, mbanu!!!!!.

It's true, my husband is not a totally desperate case He just knows that I will take charge if he doesn't and he likes to play with my limits, if I later complain his excuse is "I was going to do it but since you do it so well. , " Anyways, he is there for me when I truly need him, and if I want to get mad, I do so, So I just take this habit as one I have to live with, somehow

Miss_Ife:

It's true, my husband is not a totally desperate case He just knows that I will take charge if he doesn't and he likes to play with my limits, if I later complain his excuse is "I was going to do it but since you do it so well. , " Anyways, he is there for me when I truly need him, and if I want to get mad, I do so, So I just take this habit as one I have to live with, somehow

My dear, abi naa wetin you go do My hubby could be worst oooo, he has a very domineering nature, and he got that from his dad, but emi fun raami, mi o gbeyin, i don't let it linger at all, e no dey cold, before i shower ooooo, if not one will just go crazy in the middle of the night . He is soo learning, as i am, he knows better than to let me carry heavy luggage, it is not debateable, he can't win it , when he tries to, i am always like'' you know i am the weaker sex; don't you'' and he will just laugh and say it is when work comes that you become weaker.

ronkebp:

when he tries to, i am always like'' you know i am the weaker sex; don't you'' and he will just laugh and say it is when work comes that you become weaker.

Oh, I try that too, but my hubby is too much, he answers "that will make you strong!"      He really is lucky to have a wife so patient and humble  (hey, he's not there to deny it!) 


As for the yoruba, I am really sorry but I don't understand it

Miss_Ife:

Oh, I try that too, but my hubby is too much, he answers "that will make you strong!" He really is lucky to have a wife so patient and humble (hey, he's not there to deny it!)


As for the yoruba, I am really sorry but I don't understand it

LMAO>>>>> YOUR HUBBY IS VERY FUNNY, abeg, don't mind my yoruba ooo, ur user name deceived me into believing you either speak or understand yoruba, ( i meant, i no dey carry last) and that is if you understand pidgin, . Good to be patient and humble.

ronkebp:

LMAO>>>>> YOUR HUBBY IS VERY FUNNY, abeg, don't mind my yoruba ooo, your user name deceived me into believing you either speak or understand yoruba, ( i meant, i no dey carry last) and that is if you understand pidgin, . Good to be patient and humble.

Yes, he is one funny man, he just likes to drive me crazy

Pidgin is okay with me, I'm learning o

@op,

The fall of man into sin and consequent degeneration / separation from GOD. - "For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:" - Matt 15:19

Miss_Ife,

I even like it now when I try to chat with hubby and he doesn't reply,

weird
maybe a defense mechanism you've built up.
most normal people won't like to be speaking to thin air.

low self esteem and insecurity are what make people arrogant.
period.

Claus:

The men in the original post clearly showed some arrogance.

Other posters have helped to balance out this arrogance thing though. Clearly in the Naija setting, the propensity for arrogance rests with the one with the power.

Pre and during toasting, the power rests with the ladies so that's the likely source of arrogance.

Post toasting/marriage, the power rests with the man which is where the arrogance has come from in this post.

You are on point there.

ronkebp:

I like the ''power'' part, it is true, that is why the power thingy should be 50-50. So that nobody is taking the other for granted.

It is really hard to let these current generation young girls not let the power get to their heads, especially Naija girls. It gets in their head hard and they think they have to misuse it. That is why I rarely have pity for majority of them when they lose the power when older and the boot is on the other foot.

^^^^^ Happy New year!!! Sagamite, i can see you are back from many- many jollying

ronkebp:

^^^^^ Happy New year!!! Sagamite, i can see you are back from many- many jollying

Happy New Year, sis.

Sagamite:

You are on point there.

It is really hard to let these current generation young girls not let the power get to their heads, especially Naija girls. It gets in their head hard and they think they have to misuse it. That is why I rarely have pity for majority of them when they lose the power when older and the boot is on the other foot.

Sagamite, you are still on this matter. Just look at it this way. You will not take rubbish from women in general but will make an exception of one who you think has the X-factor you want in a female (as your wife, I expect). Let me tell you: there is no woman without drama, we just have to learn to cope with them.

It is not like we as men are perfect too, women have to learn to cope with us as well.

maclatunji:

Sagamite, you are still on this matter. Just look at it this way. You will not take rubbish from women in general but will make an exception of one who you think has the X-factor you want in a female (as your wife, I expect). Let me tell you: there is no woman without drama, we just have to learn to cope with them.

It is not like we as men are perfect too, women have to learn to cope with us as well.

An exceptional one that I think has X-factor will not give me rubbish, otherwise she herself will not want to be with me as I no be agric chicken.

Let her have her drama but she should make sure it is not as popular as EastEnders, let it be subtle and stale.

As I have grown older, I am very comfortable with walking away at any stage in a relationship. She can huff and puff and say but we have been together for X years, we have history. If I am not happy and not getting what I want for an extended period, I have communicated it to you and it is not likely you intend to change, then we are history.

I aint coping with shyt!

Trust me, if you are not what a woman wants and she has options to switch, she would without a shred of contrition. Look at J.Lo na.

I will get myself a fresh, new one. If she doesn't want that to happen, she better quit hollywood storyline and be a good partner without drama.

Shaking me head

Sagamite, the way i'm looking at you, you better be ready to remain a bachelor for a loooooong time
you complain about women's drama. but your own drama get as e be. who will be able to tolerate that?

@OP's question

Low self-esteem mixed with high achievement

Jenifa_:

Sagamite, the way i'm looking at you, you better be ready to remain a bachelor for a loooooong time
you complain about women's drama. but your own drama get as e be. who will be able to tolerate that?

I work out every day in preparation. It will be a stroll in the park to remain one.

Me? I have no drama o. I am just unlike most guys that are willing to consume such miasmatic fallacy like: "You are not a mature man until you take the rubbish a woman gives you".

Bollocks! I would challenge the norm and say "Stop giving rubbish"!

Most women are just selfish and love everything to go their way or to their advantage.

Marriage is not a make or break for me. If I don't get what I want, I can ignore it or even get out of it midway. What is the point spending the rest of your life arguing over senseless rubbish?

chaircover:

This saga sef 

Its men like you that end up sweating in January from pushing a trolley all over ASDA with one hand, the baby in the other hand & the shopping list hanging out of your mouth (no hands left) while wifey is jisting away with her friends whilst doing her nails at the chinese nail bar 

The Yes dear, three bags full dear type

You will be surprised I don't mind that. Na me born my pikin, and I would like to hug them like I love hugging my nephews now.

Just don't be arguing over senseless rubbish in the house because of some crazy hormonal chemical imbalance.

I don't change nappies though. Wifey will find her child's thing in the nappy when she comes back.

//

chaircover:

LOL funny you mention nephews. If you had neices you will see that drama starts from very early on. Even the kids female cat has drama & my daughter is certainly very dramatic 

She has had ham sandwiches in her lunch box for weeks now. She requested for ham and refused any other filling. It had to be ham or nothing. All of a sudden on Wednesday she didnt eat any of her lunch so we asked her and she said that she hated ham. Hate ke!! anyway we thought it was a one off and gave them to her on Thursday and Friday and she didnt touch her lunch on both days. So on Monday it has to be jam sandwiches. The same Jam that she hated a few months ago. Isnt that drama for you? 

So get used to it . . .  .Drama is certainly coming your way 

I will take drama from my daughter, na my pikin. My nephews don't like meat and fish and cry they don't want it (I look at them and think of these kids in Somalia) but when they see me eating they will come and eat it.

Too much drama from an adult though and I would change channel to action. I prefer action films to period dramas.

//

.

I guess the act of arrogance comes with the fact that the men or women in quote have a comfortable life, they have never imagined they could have . In past relationships, immediately i notice such standoffish behaviour, am off.. i dont waste time to lecture the guy why should he behave proud towards me?...its no use...when such behaviour is in the mindset, its hard to evacuate, thats why they continue , even in marriage.. If a guy or a lady is not humble , pls dont come close...nah, dont.. i dont need the stress.