I have long studied the trend in Nigeria and I have decided to reconstruct how the whole thing is going to go down.

On January 1st the president is gonna give his yearly speech and he would read out the budget. After reading out the 2011 budget, he would tell us that the fuel subsidy has been removed but kerosene prices will still be stable (trying to pacify our fears with kerosene) bla bla bla. Naturally, people will get angry and a lot of noise will start being made.

After the broadcast, you will naturally go outdoors to buy breakfast things: bread, eggs, milk, cocoa, etc but you will suddenly realize that the 500 naira which  U̶̲̥̅̊  intended to use for the entire purchase is now totally useless. The loaf of bread (formerly 250naira)alone would cost more than 500 naira (naturally because of the multiplier effect of the fuel increase which is almost *3) and an egg would cost about 80 naira. Traders would increase their prices far above twice or thrice the price because of the insecurity and need to maximize profit.

From this point, things would begin to detriorate rapidly. You would notice quickly that the little amount of money in your bank account will be almost useless. Hungry people who couldn't buy breakfast would begin to fill the streets. Any shop owner who is present at that time will get into arguments with buyers and before you can say 'Jack' he will have his store pillaged. Then mob action begins. Because of the need to secure one's self, looting of shops and stores would begin. I really pity traders at this time.

A few hours later, area boys and touts would take to the streets: burning, looting, pillaging and fighting. Only a few will remain indoors. Miscreants would then begin house-to-house ransacking (I implore you at this point, if your house is visited for robbing, kindly allow them rob you cos your life is more important). At this point, it would really be a sad time for two sets of people: Ladies who dey form yanga and neighbourhood opressors.
On the street level, everyone would be carrying a stick or weapon to either protect himself or for attack. If you had any beef with any neighbourhood dude, I implore you to quickly make peace with him or else he might just visit you that day with a bunch of his friends.

You make ask at this point, "what about the police and other security or military personnel?" Don't worry about them because they will be too busy hiding themselves because at this point, angry youths would have taken over the streets and any uniformed personnel would be a potential target.
  Banks would be ransacked, cars burnt, local govt offices would be in flames, girls violated, several dead bodies lying around, gangs and factions would clash, etc. When a form of decorum takes over at a certain point, people would mobilize and begin marching to the various government houses and lodges to take back their own pound of flesh from the government officials. If any of our politicians or leader have not been wise enough to leave the country at this time, they would have themselves to blame. A few foolish ones may try to surround themselves with mobile police units or soldiers, but by the time these military operative envision the mass of people approaching, they would drop their guns, tear off their uniforms and flee (like the cowards they are), deserting the politician. The mob will then descend on that politician and lynch him. Also his lodge will be razed to the ground but not after it is looted.

A massive inflation would then set in, dwarfing both the German and Zimbabwean inflation (Nigeria is an extreme place and negative situations are normally extreme). Your saved up money would become totally useless.

The Ijaw and Niger Delta youth (MEND) would go into action and declare independence from Nigeria; they would arm themselves to the teeth and begin protecting their oil fields and wells. No exploration of oil would take place in that region once they do that. Nigerians would begin to feel the hardship. The Bokos would then take over the north and begin killing any foriegner they can lay their hands upon. Northern Nigeria would shortly become like Somalia.

Our President and his ministers would then be targeted next. There would be a massive march of youths carrying sticks, stones, a few rifles and any weapon that they can lay their eyes upon. At this time, dialogue would be a waste. The Nigerian youths would have blood on their mind and damn any person still found in Aso Rock. He might try to surround himself with military personnel but at the end after a few protesters have been shot and killed, they will eventually fall upon them and lynch them ( see the capture of Ghadaffi).


At this point in time, the Nigerian topography and atmosphere will resemble the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust: fires burning, bodies littering the street, area boys in control, Bokos and Almajiris running wild, Militancy in the ND,  and a general air of chaos.



This is just a reconstruction which I was discussing about with a few friends. Many might doubt that we would do our normal siddon look but I really doubt if this will be the case at this point. The rich and the poor will be affected and all would participate in the riot.

If our leaders are wise, let them hear. Nigerians are waiting for you. The catalyst that might topple Nigeria is the fuel subsidy removal. Tread carefully.

'Tears of the Sun' Bruce Willis!

Hey this all sounds very exciting, PDude.     Does this mean that I will finally get to try out my new deer rifle on live, running disgruntled elements on the streets of Lagos,  Nigeria ?       

I'm oiling her up as we speak, but I haven't decided whether to go with factory-issue Winchester 308 rounds, or if I should invest in something a little more exotic, in preparation for this August occasion.   What ordnance do you feel would be best suited for the target-rich scenario you have so beautifully painted for us here.

i pray nigeria would be like this if the fuel is increased to 145 N

useless government

ND militants cant wait! Oh wat a relief it will be to be free frm nigeria!

I will seek asylum in Benin Republique

pls, what the title of this yet to be released movie

@OP, the above reads like the prelude to a military coup.

Hmmn, I don't know why, but I just feel like pummeling something or someone.

I seriously pray Naija doesn't get to this stage.

O Biafra we hail thee.the land of the rising sun

@topic:

Nothing will happen. Nice fictional write up though.

@OP
You must think Nigeria is egypt. The only thing i see happening is things continuing as usual. Even if the price of one loaf of bread becomes 20k, life will continue. That's Nigeria for you. We have perfected the act of being foolish dormant even if we're suffering.

Good write up

Tis government is clearly useless. . .I would have expected them to aggressively pursue a blueprint for construction of refineries.

An oil producing nation charging it's citizens at almost international rates ?

At the same time, we are yet to see a reciprocal cut in government pay and expenses

@op,some posted that ur write up is like a nollywood movie.i agree.it was badly researched like all noolkywood movies.in the first instance,democrstic presidents dnt read the budget on new year's day.secondly a rise in the pump price of fuel would be done quietly by any one of the regulatory agencies in the energy sector.as for would happen after the increase,pretty much nothing.just the usual.prices of goods n services would shoot up,labor and civil society would protest giving the govt x number of days to reverse the decision or face strike action.govt calls for negotiations when strike starts.after x number of days of negotiating,govt reduces the price of fuel to something stiill significantly higher than what we r paying now.labor calls it a victory for labor while govt hails gej as a compassionate leader for lowering the price.labor calls off strike and the would quietly continue paying higher prices for goods n services. that, op, is what usually happens

I implore you at this point, if your house is visited for robbing, kindly allow them rob you cos your life is more important, tooo funny.

Whoa! This is really happening in Nigeria right now.

aletheia:

@topic:

Nothing will happen. Nice fictional write up though.

You wont be able to modify your post now . Make shame catch you small.

@Jakumo
man you are funny. i like you

I wonder what people would demonstrate about after they've lost the SE/SS? Area boys are already beating those who venture out of Jakande, so they are prisoners in their own homes. Maybe it will be cannibalism next.

Imagine it was TB Joshua or any of the Pastors that wrote this "Prophecy", thier followers would have here telling us how strong and power the pastors are and all that.

When I wrote this at first, many laughed at me. Now who's laughing now?

It is happening already.

Omg

TB Joshua in the making

pDude:

When I wrote this at first, many laughed at me. Now who's laughing now?

It is happening already.

we are still watching na

alj harem:



we are still watching na

Me sef dey watch.

that isoko dog vomit nor get mouth to talk again. see him talking rubbish. b a s t a r d!

diluminati:

that isoko dog vomit nor get mouth to talk again. see him talking rubbish. b a s t a r d!

Hahaha! Don't worry, when we are through with the leaders, we will go on a manhunt for him (Beaf).

Wao.Pdude u are Nigerian verson of Nostradamus,the man who saw tomoro.I had to go back to crosscheck d date of ur post.

Wow!
@OP. Can't believe you wrote this way back in November.
Most people called you names but the script is actually playing out gradually.

When the chips are really down, The likes of Beaf will be roasted and fed to hungry dogs.
Then he will become real a 'beaf' for the beasts.

pDude:

Hahaha! Don't worry, when we are through with the leaders, we will go on a manhunt for him (Beaf).

You are a bloody genius, how did you think about this? How will it end? Will Nigeria eventually split or we would just be like Somalia?

OP, wonderful analysis!