I married at age 24 during my youth service. I am 35 now with 4 kids. My eldest son is 10+. Marriage is sweet.its good to marry early. I am and my wife are age mates. I tell u,it's good to grow with your kids. Marriage is fun.

michigang:
you go marry?

Maybe 🙂 It ain't compulsory for me and I ain't stressed or under pressure at all.

Dundalk:
Honestly make i no lie.. I feel bad about it, depressed all the time,
The main problem is not even married and have a kid, the problem is making in it in life financially..

That's the koko o

barrydee:
This OP is not wise at all.
Africa needs to grow beyond this mindset. Having a wife and kids is not an achievement but a fulfillment which by the way, different people have their own definition of fulfillment.

If you are a man in your 30s living in a difficult country like Nigeria, i advise you chase the bread to better your life & your future. If you stumble on a good woman while at it, you can marry her but if you allow societal pressure to make you marry one of these damaged, unproductive, & useless slay queens who are liabilities as a wife, sorry na your name.

You can still get married in your late 30s or early 40s and live a fulfilled life & by the time you are in your 60s, your kids would be in their eaely 20s keeping you company, running erands for you and making you happy while you relax and groom them to takeover your business/empire aince you utilized your youthful era to make some good investments.

Unlike those niggas who got married in their 20s using all their energy as youths just to fend, suffer and provide for the family. By the time they hit 60, no major investments, their kids have all abandoned them to begin their own lives/families making them feel lonely and abandoned. Only few lucky ones get regular visits, care and gifts from their kids at this point.
That's if their wives don't turn their kids against them.

well said. There's no formula for that. I have also seen men who married early, had kids in their twenties and ended up destroying their families with irrational decisions. Yes man and woman were built to be together but in this generation, there's too many bang mates and not much life partners. keyword is life partner and not husband/wife infact. life partner will be there with you if you're making 20 naira and stick till you make 2m. We have it twisted here. Make something out of yourself first and you'll see so many wives and husbands come around you then you'll decide your life partner

Dundalk:
Honestly make i no lie.. I feel bad about it, depressed all the time,
The main problem is not even married and have a kid, the problem is making in it in life financially..

Same here my brother, i pray GOD Almighty bless me asap because my enemy wants to start rejoicing....

MrBrownJay1:
many dont even want children, let alone a wife to settle with.

I don't want kids, am not spending my hard earned money and time raising children in this cursed system that is passing away.

At time a point in my life I was worried but now I am supper free and peaceful. Honestly Am glad i didn't because all those around me who have kids are the ones telling me they wish they were bold like me.

Until I met someone who isn't into children am not getting married. Nothing like when a woman is building her wealth with freedom and peace of mind.

Chingyyy878:
People in their 30s with no kids and single, do you worry about being old parents ?

I sure say most of una dey panic but una go deny

Never panicked for a second. Chose to chase, I'm open to bear the consequences. The only exasperating thing is the pressure all around

okunwaye:


That's not an answer

So your children are gonna die with you?

You like vawulence too much

kingeze88:
I married at age 24 during my youth service. I am 35 now with 4 kids. My eldest son is 10+. Marriage is sweet.its good to marry early. I am and my wife are age mates. I tell u,it's good to grow with your kids. Marriage is fun.

I know lots of men like you with girlfriend outside who still come to social media to give marriage counseling and spout "my marriage is sweet" mantra.

toujurs:
You are smart, how come you are still single?

How did you come about that? I'm not single.

kingeze88:
I married at age 24 during my youth service. I am 35 now with 4 kids. My eldest son is 10+. Marriage is sweet.its good to marry early. I am and my wife are age mates. I tell u,it's good to grow with your kids. Marriage is fun.

you still dey fire madam?

iamL:


I don't want kids, am not spending my hard earned money and time raising children in this cursed system that is passing away.

At time a point in my life I was worried but now I am supper free and peaceful. Honestly Am glad i didn't because all those around me who have kids are the ones telling me they wish they were bold like me.

Until I met someone who isn't into children am not getting married. Nothing like when a woman is building her wealth with freedom and peace of mind.

how will your parents feel when you don't give them grand kids?

delpee:

How did you come about that? I'm not single.

who is fucking you

Sapasenator:
I married and had my kids in my mid 20's.

If I have to do it again, I will marry after 40 and have only one kid. Period.

why

TheTravelingOne:
Why would any 30 year old man in Nigeria take on a wife who is a liability & then have kids, more mouths to feed. Most men are chasing money at 30 plus years in this country. Who has time to be taking on dependents for most likely fake love smh.
Marriage is for the woman.

babymama or marriage?

michigang:
why

Responsibilities almost all my life my dear. I would do things differently now.

Sapasenator:


Responsibilities almost all my life my dear. I would do things differently now.

your advice to we upcoming fathers?

michigang:
your advice to we upcoming fathers?

Date very well so you dont miss anything .

delpee:



How did you come about that? I'm not single.

if you were, i would have asked for your number.😩

iamL:
I don't want kids, am not spending my hard earned money and time raising children in this cursed system that is passing away.
At time a point in my life I was worried but now I am supper free and peaceful. Honestly Am glad i didn't because all those around me who have kids are the ones telling me they wish they were bold like me.
Until I met someone who isn't into children am not getting married. Nothing like when a woman is building her wealth with freedom and peace of mind.

... and you are entitled to feel that way, because not everyone should have kids. think its more mature for someone to do what they desire and refuse to have kids than people who have kids knowing fully well they dont want and/or dont have the means to care for are kids.

i also feel it is VERY SELFISH for ones parents to expect us to give them grandkids, regardless of how we feel abut having children (As if "they" are gonna raise these kids)

MrBrownJay1:


... and you are entitled to feel that way, because not everyone should have kids. think its more mature for someone to do what they desire and refuse to have kids than people who have kids knowing fully well they dont want and/or dont have the means to care for are kids.

i also feel it is VERY SELFISH for ones parents to expect us to give them grandkids, regardless of how we feel abut having children (As if "they" are gonna raise these kids)

Totally agree with you.

michigang:
8 years tym, dem go fùck your daughter like no man bizness

sad & shocking reality!

barrydee:
This OP is not wise at all.
Africa needs to grow beyond this mindset. Having a wife and kids is not an achievement but a fulfillment which by the way, different people have their own definition of fulfillment.

If you are a man in your 30s living in a difficult country like Nigeria, i advise you chase the bread to better your life & your future. If you stumble on a good woman while at it, you can marry her but if you allow societal pressure to make you marry one of these damaged, unproductive, & useless slay queens who are liabilities as a wife, sorry na your name.

You can still get married in your late 30s or early 40s and live a fulfilled life & by the time you are in your 60s, your kids would be in their eaely 20s keeping you company, running erands for you and making you happy while you relax and groom them to takeover your business/empire aince you utilized your youthful era to make some good investments.

Unlike those niggas who got married in their 20s using all their energy as youths just to fend, suffer and provide for the family. By the time they hit 60, no major investments, their kids have all abandoned them to begin their own lives/families making them feel lonely and abandoned. Only few lucky ones get regular visits, care and gifts from their kids at this point.
That's if their wives don't turn their kids against them.

I couldn't agree more with you my brother, you're indeed a wise man⚠️

Unlike the mumu OP who has nothing going in in his life so he thinks every single person in his/her thirties are depressed like him lol.

Afolue:
I have feelings for the ladies more. I am 37 (male) not yet married and no kids yet. To me , na women get children. A man can have kids anytime in his lifetime just not to end his genealogy . What’s most important is investment for his wife and children to have a meaningful living after he passes on.

This is true, as most children tend to align with their mom. They might change later in life, mainly for the male kids, but at that point, it is late for the man to reap the love and affection children have for their parents. To me, men should be a little more selfish because las las, even at old age, you are alone. The aspect of kids caring for parents is changing gradually as the children have to fend for themselves in this tough global economic climate.

maasoap:


Come to Yoruba land to marry if you don't mind intertribal marriage. Most families would be happy to give out their daughters free without collecting anything. If you care to know? It's like a culture that gives the parents confidence to tell you that you should treat their daughter well because they don't sell her to you.

You, an Osun Muslim man, go gree your daughter marry an Igbo or Efik man?

Tonididdyx:

I was a chat with an older friend I've known for donkey years, he's prolly in his late 30s or early 40s.
We were having a steady back and forth chat but the moment I asked "wey our wife", he didn't reply until 30/40mins later with " Wife never dey oh".( I mean immediately, our chat turned sour)

All am saying is in the part of the world, it's a necessity. No matter how you try to mask or make it feel unnecessary, society views you different and of course you yourself view yourself different.

I for one didn't get married under this "type" Of pressure.... Na it's just happened and till date reality still hasn't sunk in am a father, let alone a husband but I justn

I do agree it is a necessity in Nigeria and most parts of Africa, the reason we see very few if not non-existence of black DINK couples. But as the global economy gets tougher and more Africans, especially Anglophone countries, adopt Western cultural practices (for the younger generation), things would change. One major cultural force which pushes Africans to marry and bear children is religion. Islam on its own is an unstoppable force in that aspect.

Sapasenator:


Date very well so you dont miss anything like me, take all your courses and education, invest in properties and then settle down in the late 30ies or early forties with a lady with a career and have only one child.

You will never feel the burden of marriage.

The bold is what most Nigerians tend to gloss over - have children one can take care of. Marriage isn't the issue, but having more children than one can care for. The number of children is important as Africans marry because of childbearing, not companionship purposes.

Gerrard59:




You, an Osun Muslim man, go gree your daughter marry an Igbo or Efik man?

You referred to me and mentioned religion, you referred to the other party and mentioned tribe. You slow or something?

The more developed a society is, the less inclined people are to marriage. The opposite is also true. Northern Nigeria marries more than the West, and the Western world marries less than Nigerians.

If people can depend on systems, they will be less inclined to marry. In Africa where we mostly depend on people, marriage would be a goal. All in all, just do you.

pretydiva:

Team petite 🤝

Hope the headlamps ain't petite nor the two-seaters?

michigang:
how will your parents feel when you don't give them grand kids?

My Mom is my cheer leader. Besides my siblings have given my parents enough grandkids.

chuksbobby12:

Happiness You say?? If you have kids, you earn enough to comfortably pay all the bills , even without luxury , you will realize that nothing makes a responsible man happy more than his children .

Having kids doesn't result to more money or comfort. A responsible father would prioritize the comfort and happiness of his children also. What kind of father would even be happy when his children are sad and uncomfortable?

You might be able to pay your own bills and manage to be happy but what is the purpose of having kids if you cannot provide them with basic necessities? They did not ask to be born.

Luxuries may not be essential, but basic necessities are. There are many sad-looking children on the streets today, thanks to unplanned parents. Many of these children later resort to crime to survive.

A lot of broke people have even refused to cut their coat according to their size and they end up becoming unreliable parents. While many wealthy people are only having just two or three children, many broke people are having six or seven children, instead of one or two that they can manage to take care of.