i've spent many sleepless nights in ur love and i dont want my son to do the same for your daughter, so lets make them brother and sister

weell; the best way of proposing is like this

take her out for dinner,

smile at her, sneeze heavily into her face,

den scratch ur buttocks as if uve got lice,

stand up and kiss anoda lady in her presence,

then come back and say: mylady u know what marriage btwn us will be like? it will be like HELL!

then smile and say to her, you bitch will u marry me

clemcykul:

weell; the best way of proposing is like this

take her out for dinner,

smile at her, sneeze heavily into her face,

den scratch your buttocks as if uve got lice,

stand up and kiss another lady in her presence,

then come back and say: mylady u know what marriage btwn us will be like? it will be like HELL!

then smile and say to her, you bitch will u marry me

she will certainly say yes

clemcykul:

weell; the best way of proposing is like this

take her out for dinner,

smile at her, sneeze heavily into her face,

den scratch your buttocks as if uve got lice,

stand up and kiss another lady in her presence,

then come back and say: mylady u know what marriage btwn us will be like? it will be like HELL!

then smile and say to her, you bitch will u marry me

fancy clem being that lady

bwaahahahahahahahahahaha

the statement thegirl will giv is

yes, yes i will morry u cos she'l be so happy

Guy be careful who u propose to cos u might be deliverin someone from bondage

heyy iteun are u a male or a female or a heamophrodite

anyway i dont care what gender u are plz am on bended kneels will u marry me

idid i just ask u dat

I'm male n not eager to marry u now cos i think u did somthing bad n u wanna cover up wit ma surname. Anyway, give me ur CV n i'll send it for distribution. Who knows you may meet a POLICEMAN!!

. . . . . . nd live on N20/min

@Mig

No dey attack my g/friend clems too deep like that. I'll arrange IG of police for her

[/quote][quote author=clemcykul link=topic=80635.msg1525999#msg1525999 date=1190639063]
heyy iteun are u a male or a female or a heamophrodite

anyway i don't care what gender u are plz am on bended kneels will u marry me

idid i just ask u that

@Clem

U r such a funny guy.

Dis is hilarious
me, u nd clem re tyte, deh call her my wife an den u call her ur g.Frnd
i dont mind u can av her but beware of Freezy.

Dis is hilarious
me, u nd clem re tyte, deh call her my wife an den u call her ur g.Frnd
i dont mind u can av her but beware of Freezy.

by bros Mig

No worry. I'll act as substitute husband whether ur around or not

W.O.M.E.N
Well, I’d like to define what women are. Most women nowadays look at men as if they are phones. Men can be split into different brands of phones. It’s either a man is Nokia, Sony Ericsson or Bird. Men who are under the ‘Nokia’ group meet all specifications of a woman. 2gig of memory (he has a soft heart to accept whatever she says), 3.2 mega pixel camera (his eyes are sharp enough to know when she’s gloomy) and the last but not the least, the shape and how sleek the phone is(the guy is handsome, well built and all that crap). We now move on to the ‘Sony Ericsson’ group. This group meets half the specifications of an every day woman. 512mb of memory (a semi-soft hearted guy who carefully picks out what she says), 2.0 mega pixel camera (his eyes are not too sharp and not too blurry they are just right which means she doesn’t get attention all the time), the shape (not too ugly and not too fine. Just right). Lastly, the ‘Bird’ group. This group does not meet the specifications that a woman wants in a man. 16mb of memory (his heart is completely solid hard rock), 0.3mega pixel camera (he doesn’t care about her feelings), the shape (downright ugliness). I hope we are now clear with the classes of men from a woman’s point of view. Since we are now familiar with these groups, we can now define what women are. Women are objects of distraction to guys. They are like the red light on the road of life and the guys are cars. Sometimes, they cause accidents. In the world we live in now, women rule it as far as I’m concerned. They are exceptionally wise. A man is the head of a family and the woman the neck, and the neck can turn the head to wherever it pleases…,
It is now that we begin this article…
Firstly, we start off by the Witty part of women, how Outstanding they are and those women who are Money conscious and the complete Elegance of women and finally how women are Necessary (W.O.M.E.N).



















W (WITTY)
To be witty means to be exceptionally clever and amusing. And as all guys know, all women possess these qualities. The clever part of women is their ability to think of ideas at lightning speed. For example, assuming a burglar breaks into a household, immediately she hears something downstairs, the first thing that comes to her mind is to wake her husband to go down and check what was wrong thereby holding out her husband’s life on the line in other words, using her husband as ‘bait’. If her husband doesn’t come back in the next 10minutes or thereabout, she opens the window and jumps out. It’s that simple. Women also have a high sense of fashion standard. If you notice, when a woman wants to run from something, assuming she is in danger, she removes whatever footwear she’s wearing and picks them up and starts to run. Why does she have to pick them up? Doesn’t it waste more time? Or are women really braver than men? That is definitely amusing. This may not be the correct meaning of witty but I’m 15……I explain things in my own words.




O (OUTSTANDING)
In other words, women are prominent. Prominent in the using of the NAIRA. When it comes to spending someone else’s money women can do that with surprising ease. But when it comes to spending their own money, that’s when they can price down the value of any good. I know a woman who priced down N8000. A pair of shoes was originally N13000 she left the shop with the pair of shoes, but with N5000 on the price tag. Wherever you are, women, I personally give you a standing ovation…










M (MONEY CONSCIOUS)
When a woman is about to get married, she agrees to love the man until death do them part but some agree to love the money until death do them part….
All women have to agree that they can’t marry a poor man even if they love the man with all their heart but they also have to look at the children that will come and all. These kinds of women are the good ones. But as there is good, there is bad. The bad ones look at the money alone regardless if the man is a ‘Nokia’ or not. When the man proposes to them the first question they ask is “where is the ring?”….





E (ELEGANCE)
We all have to agree all women are very elegant. In the way they dress, the way the walk in almost everything. Refinement, grace, and beauty in movement, appearance, or manners. That is what elegance means. To put it in short terms, women have style. In everything they do they have to add a bit of elegance in it. For example, if women want to go shopping they wear jewelry. When they want to sleep they spray a little perfume. I mean, are their husbands going to smell them in the night? I’m sure when they walk, they count their steps and how many errors they’ve made when ‘cat walking’. I’m just joking o! But we all have to agree no matter how ugly or fine or smart or stupid a woman may seem, they all have that touch of elegance in them.






N (NECESSARY)
To be necessary means to be unavoidable. Whether men like it or not women make this world go round….





By Adewuyi Tobi
Age:15, corona secondary school

hmmm dear 15teen yr old this is a letter from a fellow 15yrold

how are u, hw is mummy and daddy,
i just want to tell u dat, u are not supposed to steal som1 else thread,
what u have up there is a nice joke lol
but then if u had ur own thread it would have boomed!
pls note that i shall report you to management secondly i shall report u 2 my hobby then to evry1 in this land pls this is stealn of the highest order,
@ituen u shall be the judge, @Allllphie u shall be the em (scrathches head) well av 4gtn ur position but i;ll let u know wen i remeber,@freezo u shall be moderator and service man i mean bla bla bla ;

LANCATER are u still alive

nhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

i did not steal enibodiz thread i wrote it. nd plz dnt jump 2 konklusionz.blokhed.

Tobi,

What Clemcykul (my wife to have been) meant was that you should have created a new topic for your joke. Since ur 15 years, i would not blame you but u should have to keep your eyes open. For me to understand you, i have to think like a 15 yr old  man.

The only reason i'll pardon you is that when u read my joke and decided to reply, that window gave you the opportunity to paste your joke. When u come into nairaland, log in wit your username. When your on, click on jokes.

When your in jokes, look at the right side of the screen that give the option "New topic, mark as read, notify". CLick on new topic and you can now paste your joke. Add a subject and then submit it.

No one will punish u . But i think u shld apologise to some NLanders like Clemcykul, Migines n Aiphie because they are the Granfather and Grandmothers of this forum

Take care bro and know that your joke was hilarious

@tobi01

"stealing a thread" in this part of the internet is a compliment. It means ur joke(reply) is even beta than the poster's. So i wonder where "blokhed" fits in. It waz totally uncalled 4.