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Poll: What are the performance of students that wrote UTME this year?Excellent: 15% (3 votes)Good: 15% (3 votes) Fair: 50% (10 votes) Poor: 20% (4 votes) This poll has ended Poll: What is the basis UI used in calculating their cut-off points last year?60:40: 33% (12 votes)50:50: 2% (1 vote) 60:40 but may change this year: 19% (7 votes) 50:50 but may change this year: 22% (8 votes) Don't know: 22% (8 votes) This poll has ended |
University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission Continua / The Polytechnic, Ibadan 2012/2013 Admissions. ND/HND / Federal University Of Agriculture,abeokuta (funaab) 2012/2013 Admission Thread (2) (3) (4)
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Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by ElishaFGSH(m): 8:51am On Jul 17, 2012 |
After a wedding ceremony,at the reception the bride groom stood up to give his votes of thanks. He spoke thus: 'Thanks to the Almighty God for making this wedding ceremony a great one. Thanks to my pastor for lending me his shirt,coat,tie and shoes for this important occasion. My sincere thanks to my pastor's wife for supplying my wife her earrings, wedding gown,shoes and bag. Thanks to the choir master and his wife for lending us their wedding rings. My appreciation goes to my grandmother for inviting the village drummers for this special occasion. I appreciate my lovely sister for bringing the palm fronds we used for decorations from the village! Thanks to my uncle for supplying the palm wine for this occasion! Thanks to my auntie's husband for buying the two bags of rice we used. Thanks the church women leader for teaching my wife how to dance! I appreciate the church elders for persuading me to marry my wife! I pray that all of u here will not have this type of experience in life. Wishing u journey mercies to ur different destinations! |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Ibraheeym(m): 9:04am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Anybody on BBM here... Pin: 21E148F2 |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by ElishaFGSH(m): 9:09am On Jul 17, 2012 |
A lay man applied an agro-chemical with his hands. He then turned on the tap,washed his hands very well and turned off the tap. Few minutes later,his wife served him amala and ewedu soup. He ate the food and after some minutes was found dead. Provided the food he ate is poison-free. What is the cause of the man's death? |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Markeveli(m): 9:45am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Sure....BBM PIN 20FD8E5F |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 9:53am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Akpors has been admiring his neighbor's wife. The neighbor's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpors didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she's married. So, one day the lady herself approached Akpors alone in his apartment. AKPORS: Hi. LADY: Hi AKPORS: Is everything alright? LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively) AKPORS: Wow! Anything for the angel. LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no. AKPORS: Oh my lady. you don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you. LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled... : AKPORS: Yes! Yes! Yes! LADY: And even when he's around, he has some... (pause for a while) he has some disabilities... AKPORS: Oh poor you... You must have been going through hell! LADY: I know you'll be stronger than him... AKPORS: Sure. LADY: Can you help me? AKPORS: Wow! Now? Sure, I'm ready if you are ready. LADY: Oh thanks goodness! that's why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs? YEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!. If u were 2 b akpors wat would u do |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 9:58am On Jul 17, 2012 |
I went 2 visit my chinese friend in hospital on sat, My chinese friend just kept on saying CHI YUNG CHAI! CHI YUNG CHAI! CHI YUNG CHAI! And he died,so i had 2 travel 2 china to look 4 d meanin.So i discovered dat it means (You are sitting on d oxygen tube), Did i kill my friend? 1 Like |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 10:09am On Jul 17, 2012 |
External Inspectors Visit a school 4 evaluation* Teacher:”oh k…class, let’s show the principal & our guests how much we have learnt so far this year! Let’s do comparisons…So I say small, U say small, smaller, smallest.. Teacher: [Big...] Students: ”Big, Bigger, Biggest.." Teacher: ”clean..” Students: ”clean, cleaner, cleanest.. Teacher: ”tall….  Students: ”tall, taller, tallest… Teacher: [smiles]:”very good! Students: ”Very good, very gooder, very goodest.. Teacher: ”Oh gosh..” Students: Oh gosh, oh gosher, oh goshest!!! Teacher: ”Stop it now” Students: ”Stop it now…stop it nower…stop it nowest!! Teacher: ”Oh please..” Students: ”Oh please, Oh pleaser…O’ pleasest... Teacher: ”Look at me..!! Students: ”Look at me, look at me-er, look at me-est.. Teacher: ”What a disgrace! Students: ”What a disgrace ,what a disgracer, what a disgrace-st. Teacher: [furious]:U Fools…. Class : u fools u foolers u foolest. Wat will u do if u were 2 b d teacher |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 10:11am On Jul 17, 2012 |
If u can find 6 animals in it-camelephantelopelicanary then ur iQ is high: prove 2 me say u smart. |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 10:20am On Jul 17, 2012 |
You saw a T-shirt worth 97k, since u dnt have enough money, u borrowed 50k frm ur mum and 50k from ur dad. Totalling 100k, d blackberry is 97k so u have 3k left, u refunded 1k to ur dad and 1k to ur mum and u have 1k left with u, so u r owing each 49k . (49k+49k=98k +1k with u = 99k) where is d missing 1k? Let's see wat u can com up wit.its a puzzle dnt dull it,can u really reason.,who wanna be a nairanaire |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lovely3: 10:25am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Akpos again!!!! 1. It took time b4 d fish died...Ans: "EJA CU LATE" 2. I put JERRY in a CAN...,Ans: "JERRYCAN" 3. Tunde's dad drag Shola's...Ans: "BABA-TUNDE FA-SHOLA..." 4. ABU ran Away .........Ans: "ABUJA" 5. It'll be long before Dan will come...Ans: "Dan-go-te""" 6. I miss road. Ans: "I Shina"" 7. The rainbow has a mother .......Ans: "Iya-Rainbow"" 8. The only native I can wear to the Alter is: Ans: "Alternative" 9. FRANKly speaking, EDO girls are Hoes... Ans: "FRANK EDOHO" 10. You're Just too Thin...Ans: U should be called "Justin" 11. I beat Lisa......Ans: "MonaLisa" () 12. When Obertan missed the goal, Ferguson shouted..... "O ber Tan" 13. I pack rumors call me.......Ans: "Pakurumo" ?"" 14. I counted my foam .....Ans: "Mouka Foam" 15. Funmi dribbles Sean......Ans: "Fumigation"" 16. My Hoe Don Land........Ans: "Holland" 17. My Ex can Sieve any Clue...Ans: "Exclusive" 18. My Aunt Eloped wit her boyfriend........Ans: call her "Antelope" 19. My Dad Showed me my lost Key.....Ans: "Daddy Showkey". Have a Stress-free day as we wait 4 d admission list.chao 2 Likes |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by mrman2(m): 10:26am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Camel, elephant, ant, antelop, pelican, canary. |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Markeveli(m): 11:24am On Jul 17, 2012 |
When U̶̲̥̅̊ collected 50,000 each from your dad A̶̲̥̅n̶̲̥̅̊d̶̲̥̅̊ mom = 50,000+50,000= 100,000. Buh U̶̲̥̅̊ returned 1000 naira each to dem I.E 100,000-2,000=98,000.. †ђε T-Shirt is 97,000= 98,000-97,000=1000 Which is †ђε money u kept aside with U̶̲̥̅̊!! S̶̲̥̅ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ therefore, there is ω̴̩̩̩̥o remaining 1000 |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Mozarinia(m): 11:28am On Jul 17, 2012 |
Lovely3: You saw a T-shirt worth 97k, since u dnt have enough money, u borrowed 50k frm ur mum and 50k from ur dad. Totalling 100k, d blackberry is 97k so u have 3k left, u refunded 1k to ur dad and 1k to ur mum and u have 1k left with u, so u r owing each 49k .since he borrowed equal,he should divide d change equali. Dat is,1.5k each. |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lilly001(m): 11:33am On Jul 17, 2012 |
i don laff forget UI admission list oo. U guys are excellent in JOKES |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Lilly001(m): 11:42am On Jul 17, 2012 |
If Akala (Formal Oyo State Gov.) dey sell bleaching cream, Bros.... buy am, na original.********************If Babasuwe Recommend an Herbalist for you,No waste time ooooh, Na Confirm Babalawo e go be.********************If Tuface advertise Golden Circle to you, Bros eeeh, run for your life ooooh, Na fake.********************If Bisi Akade recommend a tooth paste, Pls, No doubt am ooooh, Na confirrr...rrm.********************If Goodluck Jonathan say him no get shoe, No believe am, Tell am say your Slippers don tire you sef, You too wan become a shoeless President********************If T.B Joshuah Predict say you go become Nigeria President, No believe am oooh, but if he say you go die tommorrow, Bros!!! Run quick go cementary to buy your space before its too late********************If Yakubu see open net, No panic or Happppy at all, Leave am, he no go Score.********************If Terry G establish hospital for Yaba, No go there oooh, Na Ward 7 Psycho Patient go full there.********************If Obasanjo says "Good morning, Fellow Nigerians..." Abeg Check your window to confirm. E fit be Night oooh,********************If armed robbers rob Emirates Stadium, Dem no go see trophy steal. Na soo so Jersey full there, But e go be Original Shaa.********************If Alex Ferguson recommend chewing gum to you, grab am, I swear, na confirm.********************If NEPA tell you say Light don improve, Chei.....No believe them oooh, Metaphorically, Dem dey tell you say make you no betray your best friend...."CANDLE'' 4 Likes |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by profem1(m): 11:58am On Jul 17, 2012 |
funny posts |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by zezeny: 12:36pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
2012 WAEC result released..... Statistics show dat only 20% credited ENGLISH LANGUAGE. |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by zezeny: 12:41pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
WASSCE 2012 result released... Only 20% passed ENGLISH LANGUAGE..... |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by majhor: 12:56pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
hi |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by majhor: 1:01pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
The statistics of the 2011/2012 Post-UTME Admission Exercise. TOTAL ================================================ Number of submissions for screening and shortlisting 29 August, 2011 16,342 13 October, 2011 7,785 TOTAL 24, 127 ===================================== Number of shortlisted/invited candidates 29 August, 2011 2,912 13 October, 2011 2,382 TOTAL 5,294 ===================================== Number of absentees 29 August, 2011 66 13 October, 2011 183 TOTAL 249 ===================================== Number of Candidates examined at Post-UTME exercise 29 August, 2011 2,846 13 October, 2011 2,199 TOTAL 5,045 ===================================== Number of Candidates that scored 50% and above (% passed) 29 August, 2011 1,424 (50.0%) 13 October, 2011 1,358 (61.8%) TOTAL 2,782 (55.9%) ====================================== Number of Candidates that scored 45-49% 29 August, 2011 286 13 October, 2011 250 TOTAL 536 ======================================= Number of Candidates that scored 40-49% 29 August, 2011 582 13 October, 2011 435 TOTAL 1,017 |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by ShehuAba(m): 2:08pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
@majiho das a very gud analysis. We jst hope 4 d best shaaaa..... |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by buckyeliz(f): 3:43pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
ShehuAba: @majiho das a very gud analysis. We jst hope 4 d best shaaaa.....amen oooooooooooooo |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Kayor500(f): 8:02pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
Any new info as per d list? |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by ElishaFGSH(m): 8:10pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
Who can prove that 1+1=1? |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Mozarinia(m): 9:11pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
prove dat zero divided by zero (0/0) is one |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Akby(m): 10:06pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
Guys don bone book sha... Lolzzz at all at all success noni |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by ProfLIO: 10:32pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
In Boolean algebra, 1+1=1. It has its meaning. Also, zero divided by zero( 0/0 ) is not equal to one. In mathematics, it has no meaning. It is said to b ''undefined.'' |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by VNTI(m): 11:15pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
STILL WORRIED ABOUT UI ADMISSION LIST? Why not join us for 24 hours update, so that you do not miss a news. Click here now: www.facebook.com/pages/Voice-of-the-Nigerian-Tertiary-InstitutionsVNTI/362095437154273 |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by profem1(m): 8:24am On Jul 18, 2012 |
make ui release dis list abi wetin |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by emmastalwart(m): 9:21am On Jul 18, 2012 |
9ice 1 |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Mozarinia(m): 9:53am On Jul 18, 2012 |
Prof LIO: In Boolean algebra, 1+1=1. It has its meaning. Also, zero divided by zero( 0/0 ) is not equal to one. In mathematics, it has no meaning. It is said to b ''undefined.''If any number divided by itself is 1,then by mathematical induction,it is also true for x+1 and so on,therefore zero divided by zero is one. |
Re: University Of Ibadan 2012/2013 Admission by Nikkylight(f): 10:16am On Jul 18, 2012 |
I dont think d list is gonna b out dis week,cos ui shortlisted awaiting results,and their results can not b checked yet,so i think ui wants to wait 4 d awaiting results,only if there is gonna b two or more lists.... |
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