And for u the Op what is wrong in taking ur wife out more often? U both seem to have major problems and I'm starting to think ur attitude contributed to her shifting to another man or another thing. How can u not know u need to make ur wife feel good from time to time? It's not always sex sex and sex and maybe u no even dey knack her well sef. Go out have fun like u guys used to. She should be ur friend and lover that's wifey stuff and not just a cum dump or house servant or baby factory.
I still think there's something ur not saying. There's something u did that pushed her away. U probably fvcked someone and she caught u because I don't see how a wife can be so disgusted to the point of not wanting to kiss her husband. If there's nothing u did then trust me she's just fvckn someone else and kissing him because she thinks he loves her like u don't not knowing she's just another foolish married woman being used by a single guy to quench his desires and conquest of married pussy

If I tell the OP what he should do ,you all will say I am bad and tag me .Let me keep my mouth shut.

I am out of here abeg,this is too depressing for me to read this early morning.Haba.

Twoclans:
If I tell the OP what he should do ,you all will say I am bad and tag me .Let me keep my mouth shut.

I am out of here abeg,this is too depressing for me to read this early morning.Haba.

Tell him.. u might just save his life

Dexy4yah:
Your husband is doing ok financially and doesn't cheat on you. He takes care of you and the kids but yet you are still giving him attitude for no reason.

Some women get problem aswear.


She is one of those women that worship their pastors but at home they disrespect their husbands.
Please don't joke with your peace of mind...if she's tired of the marriage...show her the exit door.
This life is too short for someone to be taking away your peace of mind.

Let me tell you, mine doesn't keep a woman, OP should have given us background story of how they met it's either arranged marriage or the snatched her from her long term ex or he wooed the lady with money. Yes women love money and money is important but a woman can only bond with you if she feels something real for you. Even your money can't buy her feelings. I have a ex in this similar situation recently and the husband is super rich. Women are just problematic. Understanding their nature help one in handling them

dkidd:

Tell him.. u might just save his life

If all he is saying is true ,his wife has checked out of that marriage.He is the only one remaining in the marriage.When a woman checks out of a marriage it's more difficult to fix it.

He should get himself a side chic that will give him peace of mind and the desired emotions he needs from a woman.If the side chic is good he will see changes in himself and maybe then his wife might look his way .

You can't beg a woman to love you,he is even doing well for himself according to him.How can you suffer to make money to take care of your family and can't even get a simple kiss .it's annoying abeg.

Sonnobax15:

Marriage isn't for the faint-hearted at all.

Na wa

that is why it is highly advisable to have a relationship of not less than two to three years to properly study your wife to be before commiting,,,why not sit down and talk with her about divorce and see what her response will be ,I don't think nothing is worth to sacrifice your peace of mind

The court of public opinion is always sympathetic to the plight of the person who brings their case to the table in a matter before others. Op has painted a souless woman whose only connection to him is the title 'wife'. I am not disputing his claims but many times up is down and down is up. I would only advise him to severe any growing attachment to his co-worker. He doesn't know that appearance is deceiving, the heart can deceive as well. The grass is not always greener at the other side. That co-worker may turn out to be much worse than the wife he is complaining about.

Again, you didn't tell us if she was this way since you married her. What happened along the way to have made her suddenly hate the idea of even kissing you? There are gaps that need to be filled in this story. Is it also possible that she is sexually frigid? Is it possible that she is battling depression from your consistent lack of involvement in her life that she destroyed her emotional bridge to you as a defensive mechanism for her survival? She is talking to you with her actions. You, yes, you. You are the centre of all her actions. Go deeper and find out how to make amends.

Do all you can to fix your marriage. Ignore people telling you to divorce her. They know nothing about what it takes to be married and with kids. They would rather sit comfortably behind their keypads and care less that your kids suffer from the separation that may psychologically and emotionally scar them for life. You have married her is you have married her, and there are kids already. Do it for the sake of your kids. Keep showing your wife all those little acts of love that will break down her defenses in time and expect nothing in return. At work, send messages to her that you miss her and can't wait to reunite with her at home. Try to make time to spend some time alone with her. Take her to a fancy restaurant and remind her how much she is important to you. Learning her love language is the key. I pray your home will not be broken.

Twoclans:


If all he is saying is true ,his wife has checked out of that marriage.He is the only one remaining in the marriage.When a woman checks out of a marriage it's more difficult to fix it.

He should get himself a side chic that will give him peace of mind and the desired emotions he needs from a woman.If the side chic is good he will see changes in himself and maybe then his wife might look him way .

You can't beg a woman to love you,he is even doing well for himself according to him.How can you suffer to make money to take care of your family and can't even get a simple kiss .it's annoying abeg.

Your contribution is very valid. I keep telling guys u never beg a woman to love u. It's better to let it go and find peace. U will be doing both urselves a great favour. Let her be with whomever she loves and u be with whom loves u 💯 . Life isn't that hard but we like to drag matters. It's a pity marrying someone u can't love through life's trials and blessings. If he had dated her for long and learned her ways he wouldn't be here lamenting. Many people go into marriage for the wrong reasons and then they end up here where op is right now. How man go open eyes marry selfish and self centered woman who only thinks of herself and he thinks she will make a good wife? Now he's contemplating divorce. I rather not marry at all than marry to divorce abeg make I just dey enjoy life dey go. If she's not really in for the long term through all the troubles and bs and pains and enjoyment and all she should just look elsewhere. Me I no dey for nonsense. Now those kids will suffer for what they don't even know wether they divorce or continue their loveless union

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

You married her because she was naive, religious and believed she will be homely. That's the mindset of men that want a home and not a family.

You now have the home while struggling to have the family you desire.

Don't waste your money on any counselor, you already have the answer to your issues.

First, you need to understand her background and tag along with it. She wants you to be religious as well. It's either you start morning devotion, bibble classes and go to church regularly even join a society to have the family or loose the home.

Second,you have to start the above with utmost sincerity. It's a price you have to pay to have a family so, do it diligently. Then, start having family outings where the kids are playing while you discuss more on how to bring back the love you desire.

Your wife is not the problem, you are. Except you grant her heart desires, you will have a fling and your home will never be the same again.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Hello tomi
Please pm me. God can help you. Thank you.

tomi4life:
Not sure if this is the right forum, but I am unhappy, as I type this message, I think it is usually too late to cry when the head is cut off, but i will cry anyways.

I have been married for 6 years now and brethren it has not been easy, I think I married a wrong person, am not a perfect neither is she, i just think we are not compatible. There is is no love between us. Our values are different. Me and my wife dont get along, well.

We have just been tolerating each other. I only realize what i am missing because i recent caught feelings for this colleague of mine. So there is this colleague of mine, we have worked together for almost 2 years now but more related to work. I have started catching feelings for this girl o and it all started in a party we attend together. I know she too has feeling for me. I see it in her eyes. She comes to sit with me, and we talk about alot of private stuff. She tells me all that is happening in her life, i also do same. she knows I am married with kids but i am sure if i make a move she will agree. I never could imagine I will find myself in a situation, tempted to commit adultery. When i have a wife at home, this opened my eyes and push me to want resolved the relationship issue with my wife. I approached her some days ago to voice my concern that the marriage is not working, we dont communicate, there is no love, what can we do to resolve the matter. My wife said she is used to our situation. I asked what can we do differently and she says we shd go see a marriage counselor. I said fine but can we even discuss and she tells me she is tired she wants to sleep and then stops responding to me.

My wife prefers to sleep alone, despite me telling her we shd sleep together as a couple. if she is in the room and I come to the room she will immediately goes to the parlor, we rarely have body contact. The few times we have sex she never kisses even when i try, she puts her mouth away. Even in the car we can be on a drive for 1 hr, without mentioning a word to each other. Most times it is either the car radio or my kids that break the silence. What surprises me is she is very comfortable with it, you just see her on her phone. The only saving grace is I have a source of income and provide for the home that why she listens sometimes.

Reflecting back on if i had to opportunity i wont have married her, she has caused me alot of pain. she doesnt play that supportive role expected of a wife, she has this feminist tendency. She also has this ego issue and find it difficult to take feedback, whenever i raise an issue, she just get very upset and in many times it turns into a fight. There are days I fall sick, my wife no send o. Even cooking for me is like stress. She goes out without telling me, does things without getting my consent or even carrying me along. When she brings people to the house, she wont even introduce them to me as her husband. she doesnt send respect or regards me. I tell you an example of something that happened last year, we were travelling November last year to the UK on holidays with the children, because of our luggages we took two uber vehicles, I sat in one with my daughter, my wife sat in the other with my son. While on the way to the airport, do you know my wife asked the driver to take a detour to shoprite that she wants to give someone the left over stew and food items we had. Shoprite is not on the way to the airport, we had less than 2 hours to go for an intentional flight. It was me that noticed their car going a different direction, I had to call the uber driver to tell him to turn back immediately. When the uber guy came he told me he had asked my wife to mention it to me, but she said no need, I dont need to be told. We got to the airport while offloading the luggage from the car, my wife suddenly disappeared. I had 8 boxes , 2 children to move with. Thank God for those people that help with the luggage at the airport. I passed through customs and NDLEA and began to clear with the airline before she showed up. I was so mad, even a custom lady was yelling at her, how can you just disappear leaving your husband with all the loads and children. My wife didnt even apologize, she said she went to drop the food items with the person she asked to come to the airport, after i asked the uber driver to reroute to the airport. That is how disunited we are.


The good side is not cheating, and she is spiritual, she can go to church 10 times a week, currently serves in 2 units and hold leadership roles in those unit. I have told her if she give 20 percent of the time in church to our relationship and family we would be happier. The major complain she mentioned from my side is we shd go out together more often, she wants me to organize morning devotions, that we shd pray more with the children, this was something I believe her dad did when they were growing up, the experience is different for me. I have told her I will try. She also mentioned I like to complain, which is not true.

This whole thing is hitting me hard cos I dont want to cheat with my colleague and i just experienced a glimpse of what we shd be enjoying. I also have the chance of relocating to the Australia but i knw if we do, I will enter one chance.

Does anyone knw a good marriage counselor, that can be recommended, I saw one done by one of this popular pastor they are asking for $150 for a 1hour session, I also dont want to involve my family or her family.

I am tempted to just leave the house for 2 weeks and go stay in an hotel, but how will that help it will only make matters worse.

Forget
Anoda man dey chop your wife wella.


She is enjoying a better diick and can’t wait to get rid of you

No stress urself go enjoy ur life with that your Colleague when you show her your weak signs she will continue to take advantage

Dont fix the marriage.

You are just a baby father not a husband. Try taking her out as she suggested and do something different, yet spontaneously romantic.
If you have tried to communicate and she still refuses, then let her be. Stop complaining and ignore her like she does with you. Focus on you and the kids.

Good. She has certainly decentered you, and learnt to guard herself, as she should. Her world doesn't revolve around you. Self entitled, spoilt, immature, consistently victim-playing, privileged, abusive brats. Very good woman. She should communicate sha, but you haven't said what you did to make her detach. Abusers.

ABANGWABOI:


This one na REAL Man aka Intentional Man.. you go too suffer for that marriage No be curse..
You will try everything to make peace and harmony in your home but it won't work..
Emotional men like you without logical reasoning will always suffer..
Now na Morning.. she go wreck your mental health till you become paranoia and out of line.. then she will use the things you did when you went out of line to nail you to the cross..

Pls continue begging her to allow you both love in peace snd harmony.. continue begging her to love you and respect you, tjat is how Real men like you do..
Enjoy Mr Real Man..

Hahahahaha . The so called victims. Better woman.

One thing I have learnt about domestic abuse in the 21st century is that someone somewhere must justify the abuser's actions.

If you are in a relationship and you are 100% confident that you being abused and there is no meaningful solution to the problem, just leave.

There is really no need to create a story and start arguing who is right or wrong.

Somebody somewhere must say you did this or that even though we all know that the primary cause of abuse is normally one party developing a romantic interest in a third party.

Even when that is established, people will still argue that you drove him or her to that person. This is despite the fact that everyone knows that illicit romance is sweet.

Work on it or leave. No long talk, no drama. Feminist will support the female, redpill will support the male, some will comment to catch cruise while your pain remains.

@tomi4life

Reading your previous thread in April 2023 leaves no hope to be desired. I don't know what you're still looking for in this marriage if not death from loneliness and hypertension.

For your wife to suggest counseling means she knows there's a problem..but for her to know and not suggest any amends means a bigger problem.

I don't support divorce especially for kids' sake but please stop looking for happiness where it doesn't exist.

When it comes to innate intentions like these, there's nothing you can do to change her mindset. Not counseling, not trips, not money.

Look for what makes you happy elsewhere but please be careful.

Some people who are not married are also advising the poster. lol
Marriage is beyond what you read in books and give motivational talks about.

She might have discovered something you’re keeping secret, and is waiting for the right time to expose you.

The only advice I have for you my friend is this ; give her everything she wants , and wait for a few weeks. If she doesn’t change, report her to her family. If yet she doesn’t change, then she’s probably seeing someone else.

This is only provided you are saying the complete truth o.

I just saw that you posted a similar thread last year:

https://www.nairaland.com/7646882/frustrated-wife


It's a good idea to check people's profiles and post history with threads like this. You mentioned on that thread that your problems were there from the get-go when you got married 6-yeara ago and you've said the same thing in this thread as well. You and your wife were not compatible from the start. Like someone asked above, did you not date and get to know each other before marriage? Did you marry quickly because of pregnancy? If the marriage is just not working and you're not getting along, you can go your separate ways and co-parent. You both don't need to continue being miserable and it seems that she especially does not want to be married to you. Perhaps youre both still in it because of the kids but you're not doing the kids any favor by remaining in a toxic, unhealthy and loveless marriage, but you're doing them more harm than good.

Just jumps into a soakaway...