A top divorce lawyer has laid out the main reasons why marriages break down.

James J. Sexton believes all problems within marriages ultimately stem from two things – either someone doesn’t know what they want, or they don’t know how to ask for it. 

 He also men being made redundant from their jobs as a major trigger in many cases of divorce.

When it comes to sex – or a lack of it – he says that it’s more often the symptom of marriage problems than the cause.

“Sex is a thing that is definitional to a romantic relationship,” he told the Diary of a CEO podcast. “Will it always be the same? Will it always stay at the same level of importance? No. But is it a great canary in the coal mine? So something's off with the sex now and tragedy's not far tragedy's not far behind? Yes!”

He also said infidelity is a major trigger for divorce.

He said: “Both men and women cheat with a tremendous amount of frequency… I don't think that you could really say one [gender] does it more than the other. But I think that more men are accused of having ruined the relationship by cheating than women are.”

Among his wealthy clients, a lot of men end up having a “fascination” with their children’s nanny – which tends to end up with them needing a divorce lawyer. 

He continued: “The nanny has a lot of the characteristics of the wife; she's good with the kids she's there to be supportive to the husband. She's a helpmate – but without any of the autonomy… she's an employee at the end of the day, which is a much simpler relationship.”

The other thing that couples argue about, even wealthy couples, is money. 

“Money is power,” he said. "It's not uncommon that people are dishonest with themselves and with each other about money.” 

In particular, when men are made redundant from their jobs it can spark marriage woes. 

He continued: “I see a tremendous number of divorces when husband and wife are both working and the husband loses his job… it sends them spiralling into a depression. 

"They’ve lost this job and it’s of how they define themselves in the traditional masculine gender role – a provider and a protector.”

James continued: “I’ve seen a lot of women that when their spouse loses the job and they become the breadwinner, they find that very unappealing.”

While women are happy with a husband who is a breadwinner, or even an economic equal, James believes the idea of looking after a man financially is very “uncomfortable” for a lot of wives. 

He added: “I would love it if they kept statistics on these kinds of things but I can tell you in my practice I've seen plenty of women lose their jobs, and it has no impact on the marriage. When men lose their job in a heterosexual male-female marriage it has disastrous consequences a great deal of the time.”

Proserpina:
That's because women are not created to be providers! Whoever loses job should get another!

Dexy4yah:

Madam i hope u have a source of income??
you seem like one that depends on a man toomuch. Just asking respectfully sha

He continued: “I see a tremendous number of divorces when husband and wife are both working and the husband loses his job… it sends them spiralling into a depression. 

"They’ve lost this job and it’s of how they define themselves in the traditional masculine gender role – a provider and a protector.”

James continued: “I’ve seen a lot of women that when their spouse loses the job and they become the breadwinner, they find that very unappealing.”

While women are happy with a husband who is a breadwinner, or even an economic equal, James believes the idea of looking after a man financially is very “uncomfortable” for a lot of wives. 

He added: “I would love it if they kept statistics on these kinds of things but I can tell you in my practice I've seen plenty of women lose their jobs, and it has no impact on the marriage. When men lose their job in a heterosexual male-female marriage it has disastrous consequences a great deal of the time.”

papyjaypaul:


I agree with him on the last part. Women don't only date higher, they marry up and manage at par. Go lower, go away.

A man who cannot provide is not admirable, only his mom can manage him. His wife will leave him if it becomes a permanent deal.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W0PUiD8wFc?feature=shared

Men must help men when they see he is responsible. Most times, money goes to the woman. Her money is her money, his money is everyone's money. Men find it hard to give themselves money but they can give the mother out of pity. If a man is out of money for 1 week or 1 year, the whole world will hear about it. No one will pity a man who cannot make it in life, they will call him lazy and different names. There is no mercy for men in this world even though it is a man's world. Men work to spend on women.

I urge all men to help other men, if you want to help, help a way that will empower the man or relieve him of some hardships. That's the bro code

Proserpina:
That's because women are not created to be providers! Whoever loses job should get another!

Proserpina:
That's because women are not created to be providers! Whoever loses job should get another!

ojun50:
He continued: “I see a tremendous number of divorces when husband and wife are both working and the husband loses his job… it sends them spiralling into a depression.


Men plan your life

idahme:



I don't blame women who have this notion, I blame men for making life easy and allowing women enjoy without commiserate interest with knowing behind the scenes of how the money is made.

For an adult to have zero accountability and responsibilities for herself another must have made her to believe this rubbish mindset by throwing money at her thereby making her life easier. When you meet someone that allows you take responsibility for yourself you will start gnashing your teeth.

idahme:


For an adult to have zero accountability and responsibilities for herself another must have made her to believe this rubbish mindset by throwing money at her thereby making her life easier. When you meet someone that allows you take responsibility for yourself you will start gnashing your teeth.

CrownOfClay724:


Apt!🥱

Reason a man has to expand his harem as much as possible when he have a job aresources to do so.

As a man you don't have a business being loyal to people who are only loyal to what you can provide for them.

"sex or lack of it, is more often a symptom of marriage problems than the cause "

Proserpina:
Whatever makes you sleep well dude!

If you want to be fed, sheltered and clothed by a woman, knock yourself out. Don't come here to cry wolf when she demands submission or goes masculine on you.

As for your last paragraph, you don't need a woman who feeds you to be loyal, loyalty isn't the average Nigerian man's forte! So next time you want to ruffle feathers , do it right.

He continued: “I see a tremendous number of divorces when husband and wife are both working and the husband loses his job… it sends them spiralling into a depression.

"They’ve lost this job and it’s of how they define themselves in the traditional masculine gender role – a provider and a protector.”

James continued: “I’ve seen a lot of women that when their spouse loses the job and they become the breadwinner, they find that very unappealing.” While women are happy with a husband who is a breadwinner, or even an economic equal, James believes the idea of looking after a man financially is very “uncomfortable” for a lot of wives. He added: “I would love it if they kept statistics on these kinds of things but I can tell you in my practice I've seen plenty of women lose their jobs, and it has no impact on the marriage. When men lose their job in a heterosexual male-female marriage it has disastrous consequences a great deal of the time.

Gerrard59:


I have seen men who were praised and adored when they had money, but as the money finished due to poor planning, sudden retirement, posting and bad economy, the same men were disregarded and discarded. I have seen how my female classmates looked down on us their male counterparts who obviously did not have money, but rather aimed at those who were in higher levels.

I don see things, na why I dey fear poverty. When a man lacks money, he is largely useless to the society. Make nobody just bring that marriage talk come my side.

emmaodet:




If poverty hold you, na that time you go know say Jesus no get tribal mark.
It will humble you and you will experience insults and ridicules even from your younger ones, friends and family who kept their mouth shut when you were doing better.
They will use the opportunity to pour out all what as in their mind they couldn't say when you were financially stable.
You no fear poverty reach me.
Poverty will make you be invincible to people.
I always laugh those who boast about sleeping with rich guy's girlfriends or wives because in my little time on earth, have seen more rich guys sleeping with the wives and girlfriends of the poor than the poor will ever do.
For every poor man sleeping with a rich men wives, 20 of poor men wives would have been slept with by a rich man.
And have know that Love and sex have failed more relationship than money will ever do

Proserpina:
Whatever makes you sleep well dude!

If you want to be fed, sheltered and clothed by a woman, knock yourself out. Don't come here to cry wolf when she demands submission or goes masculine on you.

As for your last paragraph, you don't need a woman who feeds you to be loyal, loyalty isn't the average Nigerian man's forte! So next time you want to ruffle feathers , do it right.

Dexy4yah:

Madam i hope u have a source of income??
you seem like one that depends on a man toomuch. Just asking respectfully sha

EmperorCaesar:



English na the only thing wey u sabi

See as u dey use English dey justify Insensitivity

Proserpina:
Okay... Lemme ask in simple English then.

Do you wish, hope and pray to be fed, sheltered and clothed by a woman?

Proserpina:
That's because women are not created to be providers! Whoever loses job should get another!

Proserpina:
That's because women are not created to be providers! Whoever loses job should get another!