Are you making this common mistake with your children?

Yes, the same mistake that over 80% of African parents make.

What mistake you ask?

Okay, interprete this street lingo below to find out.

Dey play… Jus dey play

Have you heard this slang before? What comes to your mind?

If you don’t know, permit me to help.

Acoording to Naija Street Pidgin deeshyionary 2024,
Dey play… jus dey play means, “When person, abi pikin, don dey pass hin boundary, and you standa dey use one eye look am till when hin cup full.”

Can also mean, “oncoming wahala wey no get brake”, “Trouble dey sleep, yanga dey dance go wake am.”

Now, imagine a parent saying this to their child.
Your first thought is that this would spell doom for such a child, right?

Not really. Not in this case, no!

A mother said these same words to her child, not as a warning but as an encouragement.

That woman is Kanu Nwankwo’s mother...

You see, mama Kanu understood the gift her child carried, and that he was different from other kids his age.

And when he went out to play football, while other parents dettered their kids with the same adage, she urged him on, “Kanu, dey play… jus dey play. I know say one day you go make us proud.” As evidently captured in Peak’s popular advert.

Pause and think for a minute...

While one mother encouraged her child’s football gift till he became a legend, another flogged out the demon that made her son so obessed with football.

You get the common mistake now?

How many times have you as a parent, discouraged your child when you saw them display a different quality other than what you wanted from them?

How many times have you compared your child to another? “Look at Obi, top of the class. Does he have two heads?”

Did you know that it’s this early comparison that causes lots of envy and dissatisfaction, especially in Africa, when these kids become adults much later in life?

Prince Ea once said, if you judge a fish by its ability to fly, it will spend its whole life thinking it’s stupid.

Truth is, Obi doesn’t have two heads, but he might have a different head, after all.

Obi might be cool headed for an academic career, while Bayo might be hot-headed and channeled towards a successful boxing career like Mike Tyson or Anthony Joshua.

Dr. Olumide Emmanuel, of Common Sense Group, had this to say in one of his talks, which I paraphrase, *“Parenting is not just about childnirth or sending kids to school. It’s about studying and understanding each child’s gifts, and shooting them as arrows in the right direction where their gifts will bring out their best in life.*

Do you really know your child? Do you really know their gifts, temperaments, strengths, weaknesses?

*Do you know how to talk to your children so they listen, and how to listen so they talk to you?*

My mum once was the senior boarding house mistress in a boarding school and when parents were summoned because their child broke some serious rules, many of them would say, “This child cannot kill a fly.” And she would reply, “This child has been eating smioked elephant meat for breakfast for a long time now.”

The bottom line is, know your kids; from their gifts, to their temperaments, to their weaknesses, and their love languages, so you can guide them aright based on these differences.

*Don’t raise them the old way. Don't raise them like everyone else. Don’t raise them with past questions.*

You know these children are the leaders of tomorrow. And who best to lead them aright than you, proud parents?

And that means we can determine how our country wiould turn out in the next 30 years, just by the way you parent your children now.

So hear me. As a parent, if you believe your child needs to hear it, please tell them “Dey play, my pikin… you hear? Jus dey play.”

It could make all the difference between their success and failure in life.

©Damilola Omoyele

Writer || Speaker

okay! dey play

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