[size=14pt]My husband Usually Raped Me In The Presence Of Our Children”, wife tells court [/size]


A mother of four, Taiwo Arum, on Friday told an Igando Customary Court, Lagos, that her husband usually raped her in the presence of their children.
Taiwo, 41, is seeking the order of the court to dissolve her 11-year-old marriage to Jamiu.
The woman who was in tears while narrating her ordeal in court, also said that Jamiu used to beat her “mercilessly” before raping her.
“My husband, Jamiu usually beat me before raping me in the presence of our children.
“After the attack, our children normally advised me to cooperate with him, so that he will not kill me.
“On each occasion, nobody could hear my crying because of the noise from some of our tenants’ generators”, she told the court.
Taiwo, a building materials seller, said Jamiu usually gave her and their four children only N400 feeding allowance daily.
The woman, who claimed to be the fourth wife, said that the children lacked fatherly care and affection.
Jamiu, 45, a transporter, denied the allegations, claiming, “I did not hit her, she is blowing the issue out of proportion.’’
The husband stated that he still loved his wife and urged the court not to dissolve the marriage.
The President of the Court, Mr. Adewale Eko, ordered the husband to start paying N5,000 to his estranged wife as the weekly allowance to cater for the children.
Eko advised them to go and meet the elders in both families for amicable resolution and adjourned the case till December 1.

http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/11/25/my-husband-usually-raped-me-in-the-presence-of-our-children%E2%80%9D-wife-tells-court/

Where are those people who like to argue that a man cannot raape his wife.

The President of the Court, Mr. Adewale Eko, ordered the husband to start paying N5,000 to his estranged wife as the weekly allowance to cater for the children.

What will N5K do as child support?. 4 children and he is a driver which means he is making big money. The least the judge can do is ask him to pay N30K weekly for his children's upkeep and N10k weekly for alimony.

Answer: To have children

As some people will say, any woman who marries just anybody deserves what she gets.

Women, go for rare breed [size=4pt]do special men still exist, [/size] not common ones. Even if another woman snatches/marries this rapi.st husband, all she will get is still a RAPI.ST, nothing more and nothing special.

So, his former wife is not losing anything special (so far he takes care of his kids and the mum minding them).

Some people will come and say, why did she always push/provoke him to r.ape her? Hmmm.

Another one

I tire for women that refuse to leave their abusive spouses. I know condition is bad so might not be able to survive without him but same guy might end up killing you. You also have to think about the kids. This is traumatising!! What a thing to witness, as a kid.

kelz88:

I tire for women that refuse to leave their abusive spouses. I know condition is bad so might not be able to survive without him but same guy might end up killing you. You also have to think about the kids. This is traumatising!! What a thing to witness, as a kid.

That's my annoyance. If the ode wife decides to stay with a man who raapes and pummels her, that's her problem but passing her kids through the emotional trauma is disheartening.

And The Naija Wife Reacted,
SATURDAY, 26 NOVEMBER 2011 00:00 BY OGECHI ADEOLA SATURDAY MAGAZINE - SHORT STORY

MAMA Kike silently packed up her basket after a hard day’s work of harvesting crops in the farm with her husband, Baba Kike. She was tired and weary, dragging her feet as she trekked down the dusty path leading to their home, a distance of about 30 minutes. Her feeble feet ached from over-stretching occasioned by the use of the hoe to harvest the fully-grown yams and the shovel to till the soil. Baba Kike also did the same work though he took intermittent breaks to enjoy his tobacco snuff and gulp capfuls of local gin (Ogogoro). They were co-labourers on the farm.



As the dusk set and the yellow clouds receded in the background, both partners, Mr and Mrs Adebisi arrived home. The day’s work was not yet over for Mama Kike, after eight hours of toil and hard labour. Dropping the heavy basket on the floor, she proceeded to prepare dinner for Baba Kike. Baba Kike wanted only ‘fresh’ food; his wife must prepare fresh vegetable soup, eforiro with pounded yam, daily. No ‘poundo yam’ for Baba Kike; the already processed yam was not good enough. It must be freshly pounded and just the way his own mother, who passed on thirty years earlier, prepared it.

Mama Kike was always tired each night as she carried the long pestle, pounding away to the consternation of neighbours who could hear the poundings some meters away. Though the noise drove them crazy, they preferred it to the sound of relentless beatings the poor woman received constantly from her husband. The agonising cries of Mama Kike often stopped neighbours in their tracks and the only time they dared interfere, they also got the beatings of their lives. Baba Kike chased them out of his house with a long whip and the pestle Mama Kike just used in pounding the yam. The aggression on Baba Kike’s face was enough to make the neighbours turn a ‘blind eye’ forever. The neighbours had enough problems of their own to shoulder and would not add another man’s burden to theirs.

Mama Kike too was tired of the beatings; it seemed there was nothing she could do about it. Her own mother, who had patiently endured her own beatings, advised her that it was better to endure than to be a woman out of a husband’s house. She could not even envisage leaving the house. Who would take care of her brood of girls? She must endure and live for them. In her younger days, she dreamt of leaving and actually left her husband once but she was chased back by her father the following day. Her father told her blatantly that he had accepted the bride price and would not return it.

That was 20 years ago, she mused as she got dinner ready. Her children are grown now and she has nowhere to go. This is her home. The younger children are being taken care of by the eldest girl in the house, Adunni. Adunni took over the care of her siblings when her sister, Kike got married to a Lagos businessman. Mama Kike had high hopes for the marriage especially when she met Tunde, a young handsome man in his early thirties. He came with a Peugeot 505, well dressed in sparkling white Kaftan, looking very affluent. Kike was happy to get out of home; she couldn’t stand the daily beatings her father gave her mother. Mama Kike was glad her daughter was getting a good deal and not a drunk for a husband as she got. She was happy to see her daughter married and out of the village.

Her happiness however turned to sadness when she visited Lagos shortly after the wedding and saw her daughter, a figment of her old self. She knew the traits, the faded bruises, the pinched look around the eyes, the long sleeved shirt to hide some bruises and the tell-tale sign of hollowness of the eyes. There was an almost indiscernible pain, only detectable by a woman who had been through it and a false smile plastered on the face, which kept a good front. Mama Kike’s heart skipped several beats as she stared at her beloved daughter. Holding her hands to her heart, her lips quivered but she said nothing. She couldn’t utter a word, she knew the secret code; no woman discloses a beating.

It didn’t take long before Mama Kike heard cries permeating the thin walls of the bedroom. She could feel the whip, the slaps, the kicks and the yells. Her body ached as listened, wishing she could trade places with her daughter. She felt betrayed. How could Tunde turn to be another Baba Kike? He had looked innocuous when he came to pay the bride price. Was she cursed? She asked no one in particular. Was ‘Beating-ology’ passed from generation to generation? She knew she had to break the unwritten code of silence of battered women and talk to her daughter. Kike denied it at first but when her mother persisted she broke down and wept uncontrollably and began to blame herself. She was not submissive, she claimed. She provoked him by her words, she asserted. She should have said ‘sorry’ earlier, she said. He is a good man, she assured.

http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=68717:and-the-naija-wife-reacted&catid=185:short-story&Itemid=712

Ouch!!
And the snuff stuff +alcohol aint helping matters.


Instead of him to kill me, I will kill him. Self defence.

.

She married him as wife no 4?Oh well . . .

Those poor kids. Some parents seems not to realize the impact of the home on the children. Those children would probably grow up to be abusive or be in abusive children because that;s all they have ever know. Most of the criminals and psychopaths in the world comes from dysfunctional home and it is a shame that these children destiny is already being shaped by situations that they have no control in. Women need to be careful who they marry. Growing up in an abusive home will have an impact on your life whether you acknowledge it or not.

Oba234:

Those poor kids. Some parents seems not to realize the impact of the home on the children. Those children would probably grow up to be abusive or be in abusive children because that;s all they have ever know. Most of the criminals and psychopaths in the world comes from dysfunctional home and it is a shame that these children destiny is already being shaped by situations that they have no control in.  Women need to be careful who they marry. Growing up in an abusive home will have an impact on your life whether you acknowledge it or not.

Not necessarily.

ftmom:

@ Topic

Take your pick - poverty, societal pressures/stigma, selfishness, etc etc

You have to love and respect yourself first

Yep