The erosion of trust between my wife and me began with subtle details that have shattered the foundation of our marriage. 


It all commenced with innocent glances at my wife's phone, where I stumbled upon messages containing images of alcoholic drinks from our refrigerator sent to John, a mutual friend who also happens to be her friend's husband. Days later, John presented my wife with a drink similar to the ones in our refrigerator and said it was for me. However, the gesture sparked a disquiet within me, as I knew John was well aware of my drink preferences, and what he offered differed.


Upon my return from a month-long trip to Nigeria, I uncovered a call log indicating a lengthy conversation between my wife and John spanning nearly two hours. When pressed for an explanation, my wife grew defensive, evading the nature of their discussion. Months later, she attributed the extended dialogue to a three-way conference call involving John's wife, ostensibly discussing a fellow church member's troubles.


The final blow struck when I stumbled upon a screenshot capturing a video call between my wife and John. Her explanation of its origin is that she couldn't recall how the screenshot found its way into her phone. Seeking counsel, I confided in her father, who asked me to forgive her while warning her sternly to desist from any adulterous affair. 


A few months after the intervention from her dad, I discovered a saved screenshot of a photo featuring myself and John on a beach and wondered why she had a screenshot of that image on her phone. I have also seen WhatsApp messages from John appearing on my wife's phone during our time together. Despite these revelations, I chose silence over confrontation.


Due to all that has happened in the past year, I am already doubting the paternity of one of our three children and contemplating a divorce. Please advise!

Ok..

In as much as we all know Dem go be chronic cheats,but with what you just wrote up there,I don't think you've got enough evidence to show your wife has cheated on you......

Don't destroy your home because of a mere assumption and imagination.....

Stay blessed.

OP, these details are not substantive enough to consider divorce. These are scratchy!!!
Your worry is that of the suspiciousness of the doubt on one of your kids. That should be your starting point.
Be careful not to destroy your home through false assumption and also be wise to be sure someone is not doing your work in other room.

Men are emotional beings sha, because what da hell is this?

With all your assumptions nowhere does it indicate that she's cheating, because how exactly does having a video call, pictures, and long calls translate to cheating?

Due to all that has happened in the past year, I am already doubting the paternity of one of our three children and contemplating a divorce. Please advise!

Please do a DNA and divorce her.
Don't let anyone stop you or tell you otherwise. There are millions of women waiting to replace your alleged adulterous wife.

pocohantas:


Please do a DNA and divorce her.
Don't let anyone stop you or tell you otherwise. There are millions of women waiting to replace your alleged adulterous wife.

Choke her till she tells you the truth


Use any means necessary and possible

Biglittlelois:
Men are emotional beings sha, because what da hell is this?

With all your assumptions nowhere does it indicate that she's cheating, because how exactly does having a video call, pictures, and long calls translate to cheating?

Typical! When you table your dislikes and red alerts to your partner and he continues to stew in it whilst offering incongruent or no explanation for their actions, I’m sure you’d be happy?

You’ll feel good when your partner plays this same game on you the way his wife is playing him.

The man obviously doesn’t like her relationship with John and she’s been warned to steer clear off John but here you are being smart by half and gaslighting the man Like you’ve never heard about emotional abuse/cheating 😏or You think cheating is only when the dick is inside the vagina?🌚

There supposed be no need for advice on this issue because the coast is clear.

First and foremost, cut off that friend of yours. Then do the DNA test. If it confirm you are the biological father of the child or children, warn your woman for the last time to keep her slate clean henceforth since it appears no clear evidence yet. But inform her that this is your last efforts to make things work.

Note that if she is a chronic cheat, she might move on to another man, so spelt it out that any form of such things, you are out of the relationship.

Men are the main reason some women cheat on them. One thing you should never tolerate from a woman is male bestie/colleague and needless communication between them. A woman that keep male friends or having lengthy communication with other men is one step from cheating on her man.

You must as a matter of urgency, create certain fear in woman before or immediately after marriage. A woman can love you and still cheat on you but a woman that fear the consequences of getting caught by you will hardly cheat on you. If you had dragged her like a tiger generator the first time you suspected her, she would've stopped that nonsense by now. Besides, don't ever make a mistake of reporting a woman to her parents again, let your action tell them itself, that is the only way your wife and her family can take you serious.

I think alot has happened than what OP shared here.If you are suspecting her of cheating threaten her with divorce or send her away telling her you need a break.Surely she will get her parents involved or her pastor which will make the matter more serious.Some times when issue of cheating hasn't gotten to divorce there will be no solution

Anonymous2024:
The erosion of trust between my wife and me began with subtle details that have shattered the foundation of our marriage. 


It all commenced with innocent glances at my wife's phone, where I stumbled upon messages containing images of alcoholic drinks from our refrigerator sent to John, a mutual friend who also happens to be her friend's husband. Days later, John presented my wife with a drink similar to the ones in our refrigerator and said it was for me. However, the gesture sparked a disquiet within me, as I knew John was well aware of my drink preferences, and what he offered differed.


Upon my return from a month-long trip to Nigeria, I uncovered a call log indicating a lengthy conversation between my wife and John spanning nearly two hours. When pressed for an explanation, my wife grew defensive, evading the nature of their discussion. Months later, she attributed the extended dialogue to a three-way conference call involving John's wife, ostensibly discussing a fellow church member's troubles.


The final blow struck when I stumbled upon a screenshot capturing a video call between my wife and John. Her explanation of its origin is that she couldn't recall how the screenshot found its way into her phone. Seeking counsel, I confided in her father, who asked me to forgive her while warning her sternly to desist from any adulterous affair. 


A few months after the intervention from her dad, I discovered a saved screenshot of a photo featuring myself and John on a beach and wondered why she had a screenshot of that image on her phone. I have also seen WhatsApp messages from John appearing on my wife's phone during our time together. Despite these revelations, I chose silence over confrontation.


Due to all that has happened in the past year, I am already doubting the paternity of one of our three children and contemplating a divorce. Please advise!  

you have no evidence that your wife is cheating. Conclusion that you want to divorce shows that you yourself is definitely up to something.

Anonymous2024:
The erosion of trust between my wife and me began with subtle details that have shattered the foundation of our marriage. 


It all commenced with innocent glances at my wife's phone, where I stumbled upon messages containing images of alcoholic drinks from our refrigerator sent to John, a mutual friend who also happens to be her friend's husband. Days later, John presented my wife with a drink similar to the ones in our refrigerator and said it was for me. However, the gesture sparked a disquiet within me, as I knew John was well aware of my drink preferences, and what he offered differed.


Upon my return from a month-long trip to Nigeria, I uncovered a call log indicating a lengthy conversation between my wife and John spanning nearly two hours. When pressed for an explanation, my wife grew defensive, evading the nature of their discussion. Months later, she attributed the extended dialogue to a three-way conference call involving John's wife, ostensibly discussing a fellow church member's troubles.


The final blow struck when I stumbled upon a screenshot capturing a video call between my wife and John. Her explanation of its origin is that she couldn't recall how the screenshot found its way into her phone. Seeking counsel, I confided in her father, who asked me to forgive her while warning her sternly to desist from any adulterous affair. 


A few months after the intervention from her dad, I discovered a saved screenshot of a photo featuring myself and John on a beach and wondered why she had a screenshot of that image on her phone. I have also seen WhatsApp messages from John appearing on my wife's phone during our time together. Despite these revelations, I chose silence over confrontation.


Due to all that has happened in the past year, I am already doubting the paternity of one of our three children and contemplating a divorce. Please advise!  

be careful and don't let anyone scatter your marriage. There's no where pointing that your wife is cheating. Thread gently

The mistake you made was coming out straight to tell your wife what you discovered without catching her red handed.

Whatever you found, you should have kept within yourself, then keep digging till you see where they f*cked.

Your evidences are not concrete enough. You don't have any evidence that she is cheating on you.

If you listen to her two hours long call with John, and you didn't here anything like "I liked the way you f*cked me the last time, your pucci is so sweet, I can't wait to eat you raw again", then she hasn't slept with him yet. Two damn hours call is enough for anyone of them to spill the sh1t.

Your wife and John are definitely fond of each other and she is growing some emotions for him inside of her, but they have not slept together yet, most likely.

Sit her down and talk to her, let her tell you where you are lagging. You could be some absent guy emotionally or physically, or even sexually. Then call John and tell him to stay the fk away from your wife, and warn your wife too to stay the fk away from him.

She is not cheating sexually yet, but cheating emotionally in some way. In some way because John or your wife never told each that someone is in love with the other, but things will graduate further soon if you dont do anything about it.

pocohantas:


Please do a DNA and divorce her.
Don't let anyone stop you or tell you otherwise. There are millions of women waiting to replace your alleged adulterous wife.

You are a lady I respect here so much. This response here is unlike you, what happened, what changed, why are you encouraging him to destroy his home, I suspect you are trying to be witty but he may not grasp it!

DaniDani:


You are a lady I respect here so much. This response here is unlike you, what happened, what changed, why are you encouraging him to destroy his home, I suspect you are trying to be witty but he may not grasp it!

It is not destroying his home. Nobody should be made to ENDURE a cheating partner. He should divorce her and marry another wife.

Would you think I was being witty if the poster were female? I bet you wouldn't. ✌️

The John was on a conference call with his wife I assume he lives with, and yours for 2 hours? That is, he was on conference call with two women seemingly gossiping about a church member for almost 2 hours?

In whatever path you take, first and foremost do that DNA Test. You really fumbled confronting her without evidence, now she'll be more careful.

Henceforth don't discuss or even hint at this matter with her again. Act dumb and if possible show loving gestures often, she'll eventually lower her guard so just keep an aloof but watchful eye on her movements.

Again: Please do those tests.

@OP - Ignore the comments of the number 2, 3 & 4 posters. They are all children who make comments based on the number of “likes” they hope to get on Nairaland.

Anybody calling what you wrote up there “an assumption” should be checked into a sanitarium.

From what you have written, your wife is indeed cheating on you with your friend John.

Conduct DNA tests on all your 3 children and fling your wife out of your house, into the gutter where she belongs.

Kaczynski:
Choke her till she tells you the truth


Use any means necessary and possible

You don't always let me know whenever you're back again, ehn, restless demon?



You go run taya; you've not seen anything.

You're a beautiful story teller sha. I like your choice of words.

Eunoiaa:


You don't always let me know whenever you're back again, ehn, restless demon?



You go run taya; you've not seen anything.

Choke me to death , mommy 🥺




I want to feel your moist hands on my throat

Just know this: a man and a woman can never be friends without having strings attached

Have a nice day

A woman who has male friends doesn't respect you.

I can NEVER accept that.

Kaczynski:
Choke me to death , mommy 🥺




I want to feel your moist hands on my throat

You still think it's cruise, abi?


Sooner or later, you will get just how much I despise you. Don't worry.

Villa12:
you have no evidence that your wife is cheating. Conclusion that you want to divorce shows that you yourself is definitely up to something.

He went on a month long trip to Nigeria. Probably found a few runs girls to play around with while he was there. Now his conscience is biting him and he’s looking for things that are not there.

They said an axe murderer doesn’t let anyone walk behind him with an axe.

This is a clear case of projection. OP confess what you did in Nigeria to your wife and you may have peace

Eunoiaa:


You still think it's cruise, abi?


Sooner or later, you will get just how much I despise you. Don't worry.

Keep seething


Love ya 😘

Men will use their insecurities to frustrate you sha. . .

pocohantas:


It is not destroying his home. Nobody should be made to ENDURE a cheating partner. He should divorce her and marry another wife.

Would you think I was being witty if the poster were female? I bet you wouldn't. ✌️

Which wife would be having screenshot from her concubines on her phone at all time? Not even when the concubine is husband's friend.

Fiscus105:



Which wife would be having screenshot from her concubines on her phone at all time? Not even when the concubine is husband's friend.

The writeup is already a clue that this is another story to rile NLders up. No man with an adulterous wife would be on NL writing like Shakespeare. But if at all it is true and he wants to divorce, he should divorce. I can't beg any man not to leave his wife. Men don't benefit from marriage.

I am hardly around as I work offshore. While on video calls with me when I am away, she saves screenshot while we are conversing. She did same when they were conversing and I found it on her phone. I don't know if she sent it to him tho.

Fiscus105:



Which wife would be having screenshot from her concubines on her phone at all time? Not even when the concubine is husband's friend.