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My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Jeje247: 7:22am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!
Bros na rubbish you write up there. You want public validation from your brother because he puts up photos of others.
We were having birthdays before smartphones and social media. This new craze is annoying. I personally don't give too much hoot about birthdays and I don't care if anyone posts me on SM and don't begrudge anyone for not celebrating me cos I don't even pay much attention to it. A text is even better than those fake PDA on SM

He should open up on his life struggles despite what you are doing for him. Someone that considers not to overburden you is now a bad person.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Jeje247: 7:26am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
But he does it with other people? If that is generally his nature l won't be complaining,,, so ur senior bro can a whole year without calling u if u don't call him,, doesn't tell u about anything going on in his life and doesn't care to know what is going on in your own life? Until when he needs money and assistance then your mum call on his behalf... Bro l don't fancy such kind of relationship
Invite him to your house let him stay with you for a month. You people need some bonding. Obviously you have grown apart in some aspects which is part of maturity in our world of stress. Your time together will fix things naturally. Don't walk into a road of no return

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Karleb(m): 7:32am On Jun 17
Why are you responsible for him in the first place?

Are you guys orphans?
What are your parents doing?

Omo! I don't understand Nigeria and our style of parenting. Even animals provide for their wards.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Jeje247: 7:36am On Jun 17
bluefilm:


I don't know why, but this is quite funny grin grin grin

Elder brother seeking for love from younger brother?

Wonders shall never end!
E funny me too. Big bro is supposed to be the strong one that others lean on. The second dad.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Laid2001: 8:12am On Jun 17
You are his senior brother, not his mate or pally.
He owes you respect and not love.
If you want him to be wishing you happy birthday, tell him, and you will be amazed his reaction. He probably doesn't think much about it, and he feels that is meant for his mates and friends.

Once you find a way to express what you appreciate from him, he will surely change.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by tioyoung(m): 8:27am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!


Ur brother loves u.
The difference between u ND him is esteem
U have low self esteem why that of his is high
I assist my younger brother who is in school when I have
He doesn't call as often
Sometimes I call he doesn't pick
That will not change the ties we have he is my blood.
See it like that call or no call
He is ur bro fr life ND u are entitled to helping him
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by nairamaniac: 8:39am On Jun 17
immortalcrown:
1.
You can compel obedience, not love. So, be happy, irrespective of who doesn't love you.

2.
[sub][/sub]There is a difference between helping someone and trying to buy love from someone.

If you do something for someone without expecting anything in return, that is help. But if you do something for someone and expects something in return, that is not help.

Doing something for your brother with a condition that he should show you love means you are not helping him. You are just trying to loby for his love.

But Love is supposed to be appreciated, even if you are not expecting anything in return.

Who knows what is in the brother's mind while the elder one is doing all these?

All what the elder one is doing may one day be put into waste by the younger one due to whatever may be in his mind.

However it may all be just the nature of the younger one.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Medici777: 9:01am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
[right][/right] My immediate younger Brother seems not to like me!! It is obvious from his actions and in actions a,,
This was a boy l paid his first Jamb form , bought his first phone and is planning to help sponsor him through the university,, He will never use his phone to call me, will never open up to me about anything going on in his life,, Even a birthday wish on social media he won't do it, yet he does it for others ...
I have live long enough on this earth to understand Blood is not thicker than water,, Families are those who love and care for you and not Just blood relationship..
He have the right to choose who he want to relate with, l also feel like l should be careful on how l spend money on a hater,,,
I want to withdraw every financial support l have towards him and invest it on my other siblings who values their Elder brother,, just don't know how to handle my mother emotional manipulations...
Please any one in this situation how have u handled it?
Besides l have spoken to him severally about this!!

Please let’s hear his own side albeit it’s not a must to support him financially

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Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Zubeezanga(m): 9:43am On Jun 17
Akpabio22:
bro I'm facing same issue i regreted doing so much for my younger brother. He is full of envy bitterness always finding fault on me. All my friends outside has never treated me like the way this guy treated me. Truly blood is not ticker than water. Run far from him with time he will learn the hard way. I've completely removed my life or anything about me from my brother he his a devil . I now see him as an enemy and I'm watching him both physical and spiritual I can never losegard for him to kill me instead it will be the other way round. Some brothers are evil immediately they start seeing progress in your life they will change completely forgotting every man has his own destiny. I now dislike my brother now so much because he said so much I never believe he was like that until he can't hide it anymore.
U be bad person na ur type d kill for land, going spritual on a junior bro wtf guy

2 Likes

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by abauhere(m): 9:57am On Jun 17
akube34:
”blood is not thicker than water”, very important message. Bro, comot your hand for him matter. No listen to Wetin anyone go talk

Bro.
Value who value you, recognize who recognize you, appreciate who appreciate you, respect who respect who, no send who no send you..you owe no brother a dime,you owe no family member a dime..!!

Put yourself first,take care of you self and happiness first, in this life nobody send you, you don't know this until you are down, even the so called brother (family) will be the first to treat you like an alien...!!

Bother yourself over nothing,bother yourself over nobody,cos you owe no one a dime..if anyone value and recognize you,let them come ask for it..!!
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Tonalphs(f): 9:59am On Jun 17
Westerhoffe:


Don't say what you don't know if you're not in his shoes.
Some brothers are actually like that.
How can someone be nasty to you if you truly render them help? It doesn't make sense. This means that for every cause, there is an equal effect. Read his writeup sir, the answer is there. Even our parents that help us, we don't call them often or even show them off, it doesn't mean we don't think about them.
Him wanting to be wished hbd on social media cos his bro post other people says alot. For example, I'm a die hard fan of kpop especially BTS, I post them everyday. But my parents, I don't even post them, say on birthdays and sometimes not. But I give them things, may not call them often. But imagine them getting angry that I post a musical boy group more than them. That's silly and petty 😂😂😂. I don laugh tire cos I can't seem to find fault in his younger one order than the fact that the writer feels he is alpha and Omega and besides him, his younger sibling will not survive. Make he commot him hand and see if the guy will die.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Fearjah: 10:00am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
But he does it with other people? If that is generally his nature l won't be complaining,,, so ur senior bro can a whole year without calling u if u don't call him,, doesn't tell u about anything going on in his life and doesn't care to know what is going on in your own life? Until when he needs money and assistance then your mum call on his behalf... Bro l don't fancy such kind of relationship


If you want help person whether na your brother oo or no be your brother help am.

Abi e waste your money?

No be everybody dey talk like woman.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Tonalphs(f): 10:04am On Jun 17
yemmit90:


You are the only person that perfectly described the op here. In every action, there is always reaction, the brother might have seen this unnecessary attitude in him.
Walahi I understand him cos I've rendered help to people that don't post or call me and I nor send. Our relationship is great and I call them more cos family is family and your ability to understand family is very important. That person I rendered help that doesn't call me, na she dey brag about her siblings goodness to strangers pass. When you are sincere in your giving, praises don't matter. Life nor hard, if your heart is filled with love, you will see, think or hear no evil. E fit b say na his gf or wife go don put the thought in his head. Like see, so and so bro of yours isn't grateful. Life nor hard o. Person wey get today fit broke tomorrow. Let's give love knowing that nature reward is better than human effort of reward. If nature rewards you, she will cause strangers to your aid. If man reward you, the thank you wey he tell you naim be your reward.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:33am On Jun 17
kalvoken:
^^^^^ on the other hand, check yourself very well, there must be something you are doing wrong and he may not know how to put it to you, or you are not heeding his advice.

Smae brother of mine that was always eager to pane beat us for any slight wrong doing is someone I have come to know he leaves the worst version of life he preach to us against.

80% of his way of life is nothing to write home about, and he would never take any advice from me his younger one. This has made me restrict my relationship with him. I'm not happy with his lifestyle but i do not hate him.

I only avoid as much as possible, having anything serious with him. That doesn't mean I hate him. In fact, I hate the fact that he hates himself.


So baba, check yourself well well. You fit be the problem. Even from your write up, you want to abandon your brother because he doesn't post you on social media.

What if he was to be your biological son, who you go leave am for?
you are just typing off point,,, so everyone that dislikes you means something is wrong with you!!
It is the only social media aspect u deduct,, if he what about the calls? What about visit?
Our last born that is barely 15yrs uses my Mother's phone to call me regularly,,, You must be in the same category with my said brother to make this assumptions...
When l was in school l do regularly make contact with my uncles and Big cousin brothers,, l help them wash clothes and do domestic chores and go home with stipends ...
Should l be the one running to him for closure when l haven't done anything bad to him?
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:35am On Jun 17
Angelfrost:
Family is not always what we desire, but family is always going to be family!

Blood will always be thicker than water!

If you feel your younger brother hates you, then you should be asking yourself what you did to earn his animosity...!

Have a sit down with him, and talk like men...! Get all issues on the table! Involve an elder if possible (very advisable).


Don't let pride overwhelm both of you... Being the bigger man and brother isn't always easy. Sometimes, we have to even stoop to conquer.

For all you know, he might be going through mental issues that might require your intervention... Don't make conclusions from a distance.


This same kid might become a strong backbone for you tomorrow... The future is never black and white!


When you have done all these reconciliatory moves, and he stays aloof and hateful, then you have earned the conscience to keep him where he belongs!

But, in all you do, never burn bridges with Flesh and Blood...! E get why!!!

Happy Sunday All!
Thanks bro,, l have done all this l have spoken to him and he didn't give any concrete reasons
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:36am On Jun 17
JDelight:
Don't stop supporting him pls.
I have a brother that's like that too he will never call to say thank you even I send him 200k. All the little help I have rendered to him no appreciation at all from him but I won't stop cus he's my brother and I change that.
you need to teach him how to be grateful,, or Else that attitude will wey you down one day

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:42am On Jun 17
LesPieux:
OP. You sound like a beta male.

Which serious male cares about birthday posts on Facebook?
if you are not daft is it only birthday post you can deduct? You have a brother who don't call, don't visit and communicate how will u feel? Or does been an Alpha male reset your senses? This is my blood l am talking about and not woman!!!
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:43am On Jun 17
BigDawsNet:


Ignore everything is doing right now… when he get to a stage he will appreciate you..

Na just small poking Dey worry ham…

Whr he grow older.. he will treat you as a king
And yet our last born,, his younger sister is more mature enough and understand all this things
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:48am On Jun 17
uckay304:

Is not that he hates you, some don't just like somebody that over control them or somebody that shows too seniority, little thing you shout at them, so they try to avoid you
Is like you are one of such people
The little help he's even getting from you is because he don't have, if he has he won't even you at all
see the way you made conclusions,,, The younger ones always calling l dont shout at the right? I pray he honestly gets ,, Because God knows l don't like making investments were it is not appreciated!! Every single person that gave me even a cup of water during my struggling days own my gratitude...
What shouting and punishment did l give to him that l didn't give to others?
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:49am On Jun 17
Mikuni:
There are people I don't relate with or talk to, but I love them even more than those I relate with. Be careful.
You cannot love someone and claim not to relate or want to talk to them,,
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:50am On Jun 17
Akpabio22:
bro I'm facing same issue i regreted doing so much for my younger brother. He is full of envy bitterness always finding fault on me. All my friends outside has never treated me like the way this guy treated me. Truly blood is not ticker than water. Run far from him with time he will learn the hard way. I've completely removed my life or anything about me from my brother he his a devil . I now see him as an enemy and I'm watching him both physical and spiritual I can never losegard for him to kill me instead it will be the other way round. Some brothers are evil immediately they start seeing progress in your life they will change completely forgotting every man has his own destiny. I now dislike my brother now so much because he said so much I never believe he was like that until he can't hide it anymore.
Don't mind them,, if they are not in the situation they will never understand...
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by immortalcrown(m): 10:51am On Jun 17
nairamaniac:
But Love is supposed to be appreciated, even if you are not expecting anything in return.

Who knows what is in the brother's mind while the elder one is doing all these?

All what the elder one is doing may one day be put into waste by the younger one due to whatever may be in his mind.

However it may all be just the nature of the younger one.
You misunderstand my comment.
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 10:56am On Jun 17
jyz200:

These are not enough reason to conclude he doesn't love you brr
Don't be a pussy
He's probably an introvert and a loner, do your responsibility as an elder and leave God for the reward, be an elder brother for the young niqqa
So an introvert communicate with others and ignore others,, did you read the post well?
I will also learn to be introverted with my resources and love,,, can't deal with selfish people
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 11:04am On Jun 17
OdefaGirl:


Some people don't need any single reason to dislike or hate you. Naturally as siblings, love, understanding and respect should never be found wanting amongst us.
Thank you very much,, He talks as if l am toasting a girl..what investment did the said brother gave me that l am spending my money and resources on him...The fact that you are siblings should automatically generate love and cares
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by kalvoken(m): 11:07am On Jun 17
Vikto17:
you are just typing off point,,, so everyone that dislikes you means something is wrong with you!!
It is the only social media aspect u deduct,, if he what about the calls? What about visit?
Our last born that is barely 15yrs uses my Mother's phone to call me regularly,,, You must be in the same category with my said brother to make this assumptions...
When l was in school l do regularly make contact with my uncles and Big cousin brothers,, l help them wash clothes and do domestic chores and go home with stipends ...
Should l be the one running to him for closure when l haven't done anything bad to him?

That's the problem, you failed to understand that everyone can not be same.

If you can't draw your kid bro closer to you, to foster the lacking bond between you two, why are you blaming him for not coming closer. It takes two to tangle.

Just because you think you have more than them doesn't mean they must be the ones seeking your attention. I just hope you get to understand this earlier.

I stated it clearly how far apart i am with my senior brother in terms of bonding, but that doesn't mean we are quarreling or anything of such. So, yes, i am like your brother.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 11:26am On Jun 17
Azazyel:



It looks like you're an authoritarian person. He may not hate you but may be scared of you. from the way you talk, you like to be involved in everyone's private life. There are some people you can do that with while there are some you can't do it with. He might be a kind of person who loves to be alone most times. During my school days, I hardly call my parents. Not because I hate them but it's cos that was my personality. I am usually secretive and valued my space to handle things for myself. Another thing is I would advise you to stop having that mindset that your family must love you. Life can be very strange. Most times, people outside would value you more than your family does. I would advise that you overlook those things he's doing. Just do all that you can do for him and when he is able to stand on his own, you can pull back.
Did you read were l said he does this with others,, besides my brother is not a loner ,, He is an extrovert to the best of my knowledge...
And when have demanding for love and appreciation from your own siblings become Authoritarian?
You send money to a person you have to called them to know if they have seen it,, You gave him Money for Jamb,,He doesn't have the courtesy to tell you about his scores..
The same phone you bought for him he won't use it to call u.. when u called pray he is with the phone ,, if he is not he won't bother returning the call.. is that how u treat ur brothers,,put yourself in my shoes oga
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 11:45am On Jun 17
OBTOREPA:

You acts childish, not texting or calling you doesn't mean he hates you.
The boy dey fear you.
they fear me say l be masquerade? Why are his younger siblings not afraid of me if l am such a bad person
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Vikto17: 11:51am On Jun 17
shoodboi2:


You don't have any tangible evidence to claim he hates you. Do you do the same to him? Do you call him every now and then to check up on him? You wish him happy birthday on social media? If you do it, he will take the cue and reciprocate.

I see no issue here.
l do all that if he reciprocate this thread will not be existing
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by OVikkytan49: 11:54am On Jun 17
Some of you people are not advising the op the right way.
He should withdraw his support? He should go ahead na, another helper will be there for him, maybe not very soon. And imagine what may be the consequence of that?
Their relationship might forever be broken.

@op you are childish, no offense intended. I also think you have enviness in your blood. Also feel you lack understanding and always see yourself as the victim.
I'm sure your younger bro has a lot to say about your personality if asked. You said he's close to others ? Then that answers your questions. There are things about your personality he doesn't like. It's now left to you to figure out what those are.
Do you scold him?
Do you bad mouth and gossip about him?
Do you belittle and ridicule him?
Do you brush him off when bringing up an important conversation.
Is he a heavy thinker, are you not?
Do you lack understanding and inconsiderate?
Do you hate taking responsibility for your actions and always playing the victim cards when things went South?

Yeah, your personality Is the problem, he doesn't hate you. Sometimes, saying things that are nice, motivating, taking blame, showing high sense of understanding might make even the most introverted people open up to people. But when they don't see any of those In you, they keep their distance.

It may also be that you have offended him in the past. And Introverts hardly get angry but when do, it gets ugly.
Another question is do you know the meaning of INTROVERT?

Imagine an elder brother telling his bro that' When I was at your age I already had landed property'. "People who are way younger than you are graduates already'. Meanwhile the elderbro is the author of the younger bro's slow journey in life.
If your younger bro hardly calls u, why not be mature and call him. And whenever he calls you, the conversation leaves a distaste in his mouth.
Also saying things that aren't true about his bro who later got to find out. A big bro that only sees his own hardship but not that of his younger bro. Big bro that may not send any money to younger for more than a year Even though he is well to do?

I can relate with your younger bro because I was a victim and the fight we had went physical.
@op you'd better bring down your pride and see things clearly. angry How about you see things from his own perspective? You'd be surprised at his level of understanding... And stop being INSECURE pls grin.
Also say NO to victim cards and emotional manipulations. I'm sure your other siblings are tired of thses side of personality as well. Just that they are either quiet or pretending. undecided
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by OdefaGirl(f): 11:56am On Jun 17
jaxxy:


u Funny, are they not human? And yes it could be from dysfunctional home settings or even unbalanced parental love and affection or just some basic misunderstanding that's not handled well.

U have to work on any relationship if u want it to be great. If its ur blood it won't just deteriorate to a particular level like not talking at all or physical fights if parents do their part but it won't be so great either.

it may improve as they all mature if and only if they learn the right values individually or collectively from their parents. It takes work.


I'm glad that unconsciously or consciously you agreed with my point
Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by Westerhoffe(m): 11:57am On Jun 17
Tonalphs:

How can someone be nasty to you if you truly render them help? It doesn't make sense. This means that for every cause, there is an equal effect. Read his writeup sir, the answer is there. Even our parents that help us, we don't call them often or even show them off, it doesn't mean we don't think about them.
Him wanting to be wished hbd on social media cos his bro post other people says alot. For example, I'm a die hard fan of kpop especially BTS, I post them everyday. But my parents, I don't even post them, say on birthdays and sometimes not. But I give them things, may not call them often. But imagine them getting angry that I post a musical boy group more than them. That's silly and petty 😂😂😂. I don laugh tire cos I can't seem to find fault in his younger one order than the fact that the writer feels he is alpha and Omega and besides him, his younger sibling will not survive. Make he commot him hand and see if the guy will die.

It's easy to disprove something because you've never experienced it before.

That's all I'll say.

1 Like

Re: My Younger Brother Seems To Hate Me! by jaxxy(m): 12:03pm On Jun 17
OdefaGirl:



I'm glad that unconsciously or consciously you agreed with my point

yes as the IDEAL situation but not the REALITY. Just like marriage is expected to be a happy and blissful forever after (and many are) but in reality we have many divorces.

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