Urhobo elders in the house I need your advice. Right from when I was little I have always been told by my mum how her dowry has not been paid because her mother in law was against her marriage to my dad so they got married at the registry . I want to know if there will be any implications if my dad receives my dowry, seeing the Urhobo has so many cultural taboos my dad has no knowledge of them has all is extended family lives in the uk and himself was born there .

In Urhobo culture, the payment of dowry is an important aspect of traditional marriage ceremonies. The dowry is a symbolic gesture to formalize the bride and groom's family union.

Traditionally, if the dowry was not paid for your mother, it might be considered that the marriage was not fully formalized according to traditional customs. However, cultural practices can vary, and the specifics might differ from one family or community to another.

Regarding your own dowry, typically, it is your biological father's responsibility to receive the dowry from your husband. However, in cases where the dowry was not paid for your mother, some families might seek to regularize that situation first by having your father pay the dowry for your mother, thereby formalizing their marriage. Once that is done, he would be in the rightful position to receive your dowry.

It would be best to discuss this matter with elders in your family or community, as they can provide guidance based on your specific family traditions and cultural expectations. They might also suggest how to address any outstanding traditional requirements for your parents' marriage before proceeding with your own.

This is from a titled Urhobo chief

Urhobo ,Deltans thread

Sapasenator:
In Urhobo culture, as in many other Nigerian ethnic groups, the payment of dowry (also referred to as bride price) is an important aspect of traditional marriage ceremonies. The dowry serves as a symbolic gesture to formalize the union between the bride and groom's families.

Traditionally, if the dowry was not paid for your mother, it might be considered that the marriage was not fully formalized according to traditional customs. However, cultural practices can vary, and the specifics might differ from one family or community to another.

Regarding your own dowry, typically, it is your biological father's responsibility to receive the dowry from your husband. However, in cases where the dowry was not paid for your mother, some families might seek to regularize that situation first by having your father pay the dowry for your mother, thereby formalizing their marriage. Once that is done, he would be in the rightful position to receive your dowry.

It would be best to discuss this matter with elders in your family or community, as they can provide guidance based on your specific family traditions and cultural expectations. They might also suggest how to address any outstanding traditional requirements for your parents' marriage before proceeding with your own.

This is from a titled Urhobo chief

Thanks

Dcutest:

Thanks

No! You say “Mig’we sir!”

Lol

Dcutest:

Thanks

Vren do!

I don't know about Urhobo culture but in my culture (igbo) your mum is still a single and her children belongs to her father.

Your father can't accept your dowry because you and your siblings don't belong to him or his family. I'll advise that your mother's dowry be paid first before you can proceed with your marriage.

O boy . In all cultures even in Israel Dowry is very important. As it stands your dad is not fully married and cannot take any dowry. Let him go and do the necessary rites now that your mum is alive o. Cos Urhobo wont take it likely if she dies in old age and u want to bury her na there u go see war o

Me i am from Orogun in Ughelli north am speaking fact o. Your dad should better go and do the right thing. Urhobo sabi keep register for offences and laws broken.

Dcutest:
Urhobo elders in the house I need your advice. Right from when I was little I have always been told by my mum how her dowry has not been paid because her mother in law was against her marriage to my dad so they got married at the registry . I want to know if there will be any implications if my dad receives my dowry, seeing the Urhobo has so many cultural taboos my dad has no knowledge of them has all is extended family lives in the uk and himself was born there .

Oniovome omote doh.. As long as na your grand mum prevent your mum bride price to be paid, while your father went ahead to do registry, and the marriage definitely approved by your maternal grandparents, no problem. He can as well meet her family and do the needful, as they know the delay is cos of your grandma and not your daddy. E go receive your dowry. My own sister diary was far less than 6k naira

Bulletproofgt:
Me i am from Orogun in Ughelli north am speaking fact o. Your dad should better go and do the right thing. Urhobo sabi keep register for offences and laws broken.

Oniovommeh Wadoh.am from orogun too. Orhomuru. Very close to omo agege house

Tell your father to complete his traditional marriage rites, including paying the dowry. Otherwise you should do registry like your father and forget traditional marriage.

Dcutest:
Urhobo elders in the house I need your advice. Right from when I was little I have always been told by my mum how her dowry has not been paid because her mother in law was against her marriage to my dad so they got married at the registry . I want to know if there will be any implications if my dad receives my dowry, seeing the Urhobo has so many cultural taboos my dad has no knowledge of them has all is extended family lives in the uk and himself was born there .

Why is your dad conducting traditional marriage for you when he is not married. I hope when he dies he will be buried in the UK because you come home with that body, you guys are in soup. Wed in the court or where ever and tell your dad not to receive dowry from anyone.

If you guys want to live as foreigners then do it, do not bring in tradition to abuse, it will complicate your lives in ways you do not expect or need.

Can any Urhobo kindly translate this name?

Why will someone even die and we would want to bring him home to bury🤔🤔

Edo custom shares some similarity with Urhobo's. Ordinarily, a father who has not paid dowry on his wife can't receive any dowry on his daughter by that same wife. Simple.

OP, your grandma must have mellowed over the issue by now. Your dad should go pay dowry on your mum promptly first.

Why do you sound personally offended?

It one thing to give advice but you’re berating them like they actually wronged you somehow.

SocialJustice:
Why is your dad conducting traditional marriage for you when he is not married. I hope when he dies he will be buried in the UK because you come home with that body, you guys are in soup. Wed in the court or where ever and tell your dad not to receive dowry from anyone.

If you guys want to live as foreigners then do it, do not bring in tradition to abuse, it will complicate your lives in ways you do not expect or need.

cococandy:
Why do you sound personally offended?

It one thing to give advice but you’re berating them like they actually wronged you somehow.

I am not berating nor sounding offended. I am telling it exactly as it is. Is it a crime to tell it as it is or should I start telling lies to play the situation down?

I've seen the consequences of taking Urhobo tradition for granted too many times and I don't wish it on my enemy especially when the offenders can't even speak the language and have to rely on liason who is usually there to exploit the situation.

You saw an urhobo also saying something about keeping register. That is exactly what I'm just doing my best by writing to make sure the family doesn't get booked. Omo them go cry them go know say them never see problem before. Irritating problem when na your disgrace then money go solve.

To avoid stories that touch, let your dad speak to his people at home. The entire village can't be empty.

It's good to know that you are aware that there's culture and it can backfire.

I witness one two yrs ago, the father paid the price of not honouring culture.

Peacfulmindset:
Can any Urhobo kindly translate this name?

No answers to this?

Dcutest:
Urhobo elders in the house I need your advice. Right from when I was little I have always been told by my mum how her dowry has not been paid because her mother in law was against her marriage to my dad so they got married at the registry . I want to know if there will be any implications if my dad receives my dowry, seeing the Urhobo has so many cultural taboos my dad has no knowledge of them has all is extended family lives in the uk and himself was born there .

This is not about Urhobo culture but a general cultural practice

If Your dad is alive, he should go home to pay your mum dowry before anyone can even negotiate your dowry

This is similar to, assuming your mum died, Godforbid, and she was not properly buried the right way traditionally , non of her children will be given proper burial untill they go back to finalise hers first

Dcutest:
Urhobo elders in the house I need your advice. Right from when I was little I have always been told by my mum how her dowry has not been paid because her mother in law was against her marriage to my dad so they got married at the registry. I want to know if there will be any implications if my dad receives my dowry, seeing the Urhobo has so many cultural taboos my dad has no knowledge of them has all is extended family lives in the uk and himself was born there .

None at all.

Many fatherless and motherless babies who grow up to become adults are now married. These people don't even know their village let alone some useless culture and traditions.

Sapasenator:
In Urhobo culture, the payment of dowry is an important aspect of traditional marriage ceremonies. The dowry is a symbolic gesture to formalize the bride and groom's family union.

Traditionally, if the dowry was not paid for your mother, it might be considered that the marriage was not fully formalized according to traditional customs. However, cultural practices can vary, and the specifics might differ from one family or community to another.

Regarding your own dowry, typically, it is your biological father's responsibility to receive the dowry from your husband. However, in cases where the dowry was not paid for your mother, some families might seek to regularize that situation first by having your father pay the dowry for your mother, thereby formalizing their marriage. Once that is done, he would be in the rightful position to receive your dowry.

It would be best to discuss this matter with elders in your family or community, as they can provide guidance based on your specific family traditions and cultural expectations. They might also suggest how to address any outstanding traditional requirements for your parents' marriage before proceeding with your own.

This is from a titled Urhobo chief

Wow. Kudos.