DuBLINGreenb:


I am not begging for acceptance oh na she dey cry, dey fight she wants me, her parents don’t.

Person wey dey sleep next to me dey cry almost every night make I no find solition? No be human being she be? No be human being I be? I get conscience abeg.
Even if it was an animal my pet crying almost every night will I not still try and find solution?

DuBLINGreenb:


Bro I know all that even before I met her I had seen lots of documents about the caste system. She is from the warrior caste so her parents want to arrange her with guys from the 2 upper castes above theirs or theirs at worse. But I’m the problem to their plans.

Her parents have threatened to disown her if she continues and that’s not something she wants so I honestly feel our relationship is coming to an end

They are not individualistic at all, they have herd mentality. Person like me I don’t send what anyone is saying but she will be crying and I can’t stand it. I’m just tired.

But come how did that your guy run that package 🤣 traveled to India to marry wife and return to Canada that’s crazy what part of I do is the girl from do you know? And is she S.C (caste).

1Sharon:
Black men and always begging for acceptance.

jjman2322:


Her family will actually disown her if she marries you and has those black babies. She will eventually resent you in the future. There is more to marriage than "BLIND LOVE" Trust me..

im an older man now, ive seen a lot, ive never seen a guy in a happy marriage where his wifes family dont accept him or disowned her

DuBLINGreenb:


I’ve only been with her for a year and some months, her uncles and aunts don’t like her parents because they chose to go to school and sent their daughters abroad and they feel they think they are better than them because in fact they have more money than them and their children are more well off.

Her cousins are already all married off, some were arranged married at the age of 14 and 16 so for them to leave their daughters unmarried till 24 and 26+ is already a big deal not to talk of sending them abroad unsupervised. So her parents are already looked down upon for being bougie and upper middle class.

Her dad’s health has also deteriorated and they were saying it’s because of our relationship that’s given him serious thinking and all that so he isn’t responding well to treatment and what not.

For her to be with me till this time with all that has happened and all that’s been said for an Indian is quite a big deal to us it may mean little and to white people it may mean nothing at all. But to them like I have said before they have this herd mentality they
LOVE to fit in. Standing out is taboo. So do what what everyone else is doing is the order of the day.

DuBLINGreenb:

Here it is
Butter garlic naan and plain naan

DuBLINGreenb:


Thanks for your advice it means more than you can imagine, it’s not easy to find people to talk to everybody has their own problems so I appreciate, if she calls it quits I’ll just let it be.

We were doomed to end from the start, they already promised not only to disown her but also cut her off the will and infact they just told her that if she continues with the relationship she will have to pay them all the money they spent on her to bring her to Canada and all that and the money is over $40,000 she came as a student and has been here for 4 years since. But if she ends the relationship they will cancel/forgive the “debt”. The pressure is just too much.

nobody not even 1 supported us only my family were indifferent about it and we had one mutual friend who eventually after much convincing the girl said ok I’ll let you guys be. Our story long.

So basically when we started dating everyone at where we worked and friends where all like “what the heck?” Nobody even said congratulations. One girl let’s call her X promised to give me another girl if it’s an Indian you want don’t worry I’ll arrange for you, I was shocked, she tried to put me up with another younger shorter Indian girl than the girl I was with I said no I’m not interested. X is from East Africa so she said she’ll hook me up with her friends, all these things only made me want The girl I’m with even more.
They also tried the same thing with her X tried to match my girl with a black guy from Zambia and some guy from Bangladesh.

X is African and Christian, I am African and Christian
And she was trying seriously to put my girl together with a Muslim east Asian guy from Bangladesh I was like wtf? She went ahead to say and do all she can to break us up it didn’t work so at the end of the day many months later when we started living together and it was clear she couldn’t stop us, she called both of us and admitted all that she’s been doing and said we should forgive her and made us promise to continue to be together but we told her about the challenges ahead at that point her parents hadn’t been informed about us but we suspected it wasn’t going to be easy but we greatly underestimated how difficult it was going to be for many reasons
1. Both Her parents are educated
2. They lived in the city
3. Her extended family don’t live with them or close to them
3. They let their 2 older daughters get into love marriages (but with fellow Indians)


However we didn’t focus on the fact that
1. Her parents were arranged married (her mom was 12 or 14 her dad was 18 or 21

2. The place she is from still has under age arranged marriage going on and it is very commonly practiced even more than other parts of India.

3. Since both elder sisters love marriages failed and ended in divorce they weren’t going to let her the last daughter get into a love marriage more so with a non Indian who is black and non Hindu.

4. They lived in the city and were educated and let their daughters travel and get into love marriages which were good things but their extended families saw all these as minus as negatives and were already talking bad about them for these.

Currently they are promising her heaven and earth.

jjman2322:
Not sure how old you are, but run run run AWAY

I dated an indian girl for a few years. Her dad HATED me, would stalk her and leave notes on her car when she visits me.. Don't ever ever settle/marry a girl whose family doesn't accept you. It will not work in the long run.. You guys will have problems in the future and she will go complain to her family and they will convince her to leave you.

Indians are extremely racist. You will never be accepted by people around her. My exgf was sweet, beautiful, but her uncles/aunties spent all day trying to hook her up with an indian boy even though she had a long term nigerian BF..

Also, my exgf was extremely jealous. This is fun initially but its not sustainable in a long term relationship or marriage. ASK any married person here, a jealous girlfriend will never change. She will eventually frustrate you to death. She will want to know who called, who you called, where you went, etc.. as a man you need to be relaxed and chill and not be stressed out.. I can talk to you more about this,

Im now happily married to a girl who is still from asia but her parents and family love me and she never ever gets jealous or checks what im doing.. amazing peace of mind bro.

Entanglement:
oga ! Free that girl make she go India go solve her problem or otherwise you go regret your actions

If you love someone so much free that person and if that person return back to you! The love will be even stronger
Note: this method is not applicable to Naija women

So what I'm saying is that you should persuade that girl to go see her parents so that you will get rest of mind and let her be the one to break up with you due to her parent choice. No go do telemundo dey shout love love like native fowl 🪿 free her make she go abeg.
Her pale come die now them go dey blame you for the rest of your life.

Speaking from experience I have almost identical case with one India lady like that parent no gree ohh. She cry tired carry her two leg go break up with me! Shall I happy small come married one useless India man! He no reach 3month this girl dey beg me say she make the biggest mistake in her life and wanted to come meet me ( like runaway) me I tell her say I no dey do that kind package ohh! Make you stay with your husband since na you make that your choice to break up with me.

That woman stalk my life no be small. With long long message and suicide message. I kukuma block her and now I'm with someone far much beautiful.

As a man you have a lot of options! Na women no dey get options as them be like flowers ohh. So guy no carry this stuff for mind. Just persuade her make she go see her family and dey watch how things play out. No do like those useless simps

Entanglement:
take advise from men were don see tree from farrrr ahead!

Her not too pink toto too sweet to the extent you no won let her go! You go regrett ohh. Free that babe to go meet her family and prepare your heart from long text message breakups.

Dust yourself and move on! As far as you be black guy plenty girls especially Asian girls are in line craving for ya.

jamesversion:


Make I give you Buguma or Abonnema girl?

DuBLINGreenb:

I’m not a yahoo boy oh abeg,

DuBLINGreenb:
Abeg if you have experience let me know I need tips

I will keep adding context to this as you guys keep contributing and asking questions and discussing.

So Yh we have been together for over a year now, her sister thought we were good together and “cute” so she sent our pictures to their family group and that was the beginning of the end.

They told her to leave me, they all kept calling and crying and begging and all that, recently though the mother started coming around.

But her relationship with her mom is not the best, so her dad’s relationship with her is the best so even if her mom says yes that yes doesn’t carry half the weight as her dad because she is much closer to her dad than mom.

And her dad has been sick everyone traveled to go see him including the elder sister who shared our pictures with them. But she didn’t go because we especially me know that if she goes they’ll probably not let her come back, but the sisters have assured us that if she goes back and she won’t be forced into an arranged marriage which is what her parents have always wanted for her.

For context both her elder sisters refused to do arranged marriages and their marriages failed so they are strongly against her going through the same love marriage route as her sisters.

The pressure lately has been too much and I can feel it, she cries almost every night.
And we have arranged for her to travel back so this is going to be the ultimate test.

I do not want to break up tho I want her to do it, if the pressure is too much for her then fine I’ll understand but on my path I’ve got no issues.

This isn’t our first test by the way, the other one (first test) is story for another day. Or when I have more time on my hand to type.

2buffagain:
Never go where you are not wanted.
Also, black women are sexier.

DuBLINGreenb:


I still dey mourn my relationship, make I mourn finish

DuBLINGreenb:

I’ve been to many Indian restaurants and eateries I’ve also tried almost every Indian food and snack available here.

jamesversion:


Make I give you Buguma or Abonnema girl?

Entanglement:
take advise from men were don see tree from farrrr ahead!

Her not too pink toto too sweet to the extent you no won let her go! You go regrett ohh. Free that babe to go meet her family and prepare your heart from long text message breakups.

Dust yourself and move on! As far as you be black guy plenty girls especially Asian girls are in line craving for ya.

DuBLINGreenb:


I still dey mourn my relationship, make I mourn finish

DuBLINGreenb:


I no sure say I go fit look Asian girls side again 🤣💔

alphaNomega:
guy? why?

alphaNomega:
wrongest advice. na una dey perpetuate this racism nonsense. men wey see tree from far my foot!

bro. this is not time to mourn 3rd July 2024 is different from every other day you have experienced. Ask yourself this question, if she lost all her parents in a plane crash, how would it affect your relationship?

No reason all this racist, caste wahala wey still keep us backward for this life. You love your babe, she love you, and that is the best. what two of you should be planning now is how to sustain your family when you get married. even if you find your dream abonema wife, una go still get problem somehow.

santaclaws:


Difficult parents on the Indian side or the Nigerian side? Either ways, Indians are very selective when it comes to their choice of marriage partner, especially the Hindus, most likely for religious reasons. If you're dating a Christian or Muslim, it might be much easier to understand each other.

Another issue on the Indian side is colorism. A lot of people may not know but Indians (mostly old generation) could be racist and color (skin complexion) plays a role in their relationship...

Personally, I wouldn't date any Indian person that falls into the above category, except she's a Christian with enough international exposure.

DuBLINGreenb:


Sir everything you typed is what I am going through now, they keep sending her rishtas (cv of Indian boys) she keeps rejecting and they keep sending.

As for the jealousy I unfollowed all female friends including our mutual friends 🤣
I stopped talking or texting them because she would get jealous to the extent that even the girls around us notice one told me
If a girl passes or says hi she will be gauging my response if I say hi back in a certain way, if I respond with more than hi problem. Also she goes through my phone at night searching texts and social media and calls and all that.
But I don’t mind for now atleast because I have nothing to hide but there has been occasions where she misinterpreted things on my phone, like on of my friends who posted pictures on WhatsApp or one social media platform I don’t remember I replied jokingly you done dey get Nyansh na you no want us to rest you done dey find attention” this is someone I don’t have any intentions to do anything with I have known this person for long and there’s no sexual attraction between us but my Indian girl knows what Nyansh is and she went beserk she was saying I’m going to cheat on her with Nigerian girls that I like Nyansh and she doesn’t have enough of it. That she is not my spec that she doesn’t even know why I’m with her.
There was one time a colleague at my previous job who is an events organizer was throwing a party and he wanted a ticketer he had none so he asked if I could do it since I had the stature I am 6ft1and relatively athletic built she knows the guy, I told her about it she called the guy asked him if she could come as well, she followed me to the party 🤣 because lots of girls were going to be there and she wanted to protect her man 😂 I honestly thought it was cute but you are right now that you mentioned it all these interactions are just replaying in my head, I also left my previous job partly because of her, there were lots of girls there and she always wanted to spend time with me. So I need a job that gave me more time at home and a job with no girls or fewer girls; one day she came to pick me up at work and she asked one of my colleagues “do you know where BD is?” The guy said no, then the girl next to him said “yes We we’re just talking some minutes ago” the talk was about a my name being printed wrongly on some material that had to be pasted but did my babe want to here that? She flipped out.
I had to beg and beg and explain to her and even try to get the girl to explain to her but she got upset that I was trying to embarrass her before the girl 😮.

Basically she’s a little insecure and very jealous, So I can honestly see how that’s going to be a problem in future.

But I HONESTLY see it like this; every woman get problem and na her own problem be these. Another thing is we have so many memories together starting over with someone else “what’s your favorite colour, how many kids do you want etc” is something I don’t want to do

But from what you have said and what others have said, I will let it be. Thank you very much for your advice.
I haven’t been in a lot of relationships so I don’t really have experience to gauge these things against, also I am someone who can endure, if enduring was a course I will get an A+ in it.

I’m also a little reserved or shy and private so these are things I can’t discuss with people I know. So thank you very much for taking time to read and reply. God bless you and God will always provide for you. 🙏

DuBLINGreenb:


Brooooooo you know a looooottttt she WORSHIPS her dad and they are using that against her SERIOUSLY.

culkid:


You get consent before putting the babe picture here?

You put her family matter for here as well and even called her lazy.

This thread may find its way to her family and that will be your undoing.

You should know better.

PeterZoom:

May I drop aza boss? Fatherland hard. Thanks to you know who.

alphaNomega:


is this what you want to be eating for the rest of your life?