Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

If u get house don’t ever go to her papa gift house but if u no get just Dey go jejely so I can safe to build yours….if u dunt like any of this my input and u decided to end the relationship kuku gimme the girl, I dunt hv house and rent is damn expensive

A woman's first love should be her fathers', you should thank God she has a good relationship with her father, this would benefit you more in long-term.

A father gives a child identity, It means she would submit to you.

And, in the case of you both living in her father's house which is going to be a wedding gift, why not ?
If you are going to stay there doesn't mean you would live there with your wife forever.

Note: The house doesn't belong to your wife's father anymore because it is now a gift.

You can move out from there when you have built yours and thereby putting it in the market for commercial purpose.

It's no big deal as long as you have remained the man in the marriage.

Nawaoo for how some people think.

Gifting a house to his daughter is a thing tó do. Asking you to there is also good thing to do.

I don't see as a problem rather a good development that would better your life. Whether you have house or not, that gifted house will be your wife property forever. You can live there for sometimes before building yours or moving to your own house.

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

My little daughter is already my current love and I know too that I am her first love



You are lucky to have such a lady that enjoyed super relationship with her dad. Except there is something else fishy we might not know, but most men don't joke with their daughter, especially their first and last daughter, dunno why it is so because even my aged father, the only person that tells him something and he will never argue is my married only sister with grown children

Her father has taken a bad decision, he should have given the house to his daughter ALONE, so that she rents it out/ uses it for holiday purposes for she and her future children. If we check now, you are living in a 1 or 2 room apartment, yet you don't want a better environment.

Immediately you began complaining, your woman should have told her dad, so that he hands over his house to his daughter.

You will regret it if your relationship with his daughter goes sour. You'll be stripped off of everything you are and have. That includes your identity, value, your children and their identity, and more.

A man who can go this far for his daughter will do more to destroy you if you if for any reason whatsoever her daughter decides to end the marriage. It is not a question of right or wrong, but power play.

lol. This one is proud. Instead of you to humbly accept.

Just think of the day that marriage will expire. She will be like "pack your things and leave my father's house"

LilMissFavvy:
Her father has taken a bad decision, he should have given the house to his daughter ALONE, so that she rents it out/ uses it for holiday purposes for she and her future children. If we check now, you are living in a 1 or 2 room apartment, yet you don't want a better environment.

Immediately you began complaining, your woman should have told her dad, so that he hands over his house to his daughter.

Mental case.

You're forming "pride" on top nothing. You better accept the house gift and change your surname to your father In-law's name as a show of appreciation.

We need such father in law, or do you prefer an in law that will be calling you up n down for feeding money? I see nothing wrong in what the father is doing.

It's not a must you live there. U can rent it out.

Share your thoughts with your girl.

galantjoe:
Nawaoo for how some people think.

Gifting a house to his daughter is a thing tó do. Asking you to there is also good thing to do.

I don't see as a problem rather a good development that would better your life. Whether you have house or not, that gifted house will be your wife property forever. You can live there for sometimes before building yours or moving to your own house.

Well, houses are not my problem as I have houses of my own. I am a kind of man who wants to dominate my world and my woman, I feel living in a house from her dad will make her feel too independent and less submissive

superemmy:
lol. This one is proud. Instead of you to humbly accept.

Oga, I have my own house

See unnecessary ego over nothing

You no get money, you still get pride

If you come get money nko? You go say make people no waka pass you

If the girl no get good relationship with him papa,na una go say she won't be submissive, if she cannot respect or love her father how she wan love you, she still has good relationship with her dad, that's now a problem?

E no show say any one wey wan satisfy man wan go on journey Of no return

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

You shouldn't only concerning going to her papa house, but also more worry about telling her dad all activities btw both of you.

A wife should be telling her husband many things and not her parents, I think the girl not yet matured and ready for marriage.

.....before you know,the remote control of wife would be coming from dad instead of husband

SAMBARRY:
See unnecessary ego over nothing

You no get money, you still get pride

If you come get money nko? You go say make people no waka pass you

If the girl no get good relationship with him papa,na una go say she won't be submissive, if she cannot respect or love her father how she wan love you, she still has good relationship with her dad, that's now a problem?

E no show say any one wey wan satisfy man wan go on journey Of no return

.that's y husband and wife won't have secret again abi?

Are u telling ur dad or mum everything going on btw u and ur woman?

If u re not doing that, why surporting this?

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

They want to help to grow.

Just start liking the man...such family would help u to grow faster and speedily.

Fiscus105:


.that's y husband and wife won't have secret again abi?

Are u telling ur dad or mum everything going on btw u and ur woman?

If u re not doing that, why surporting this?

lol stop making unnecessary excuses for what is not. I tell am say make he dey tell his potential father inlaw when and how e dey fvck him wife?


My point is there are some pride that are completely unnecessary. You no get option,them give you option,you still dey form big boy with empty pocket. No,you sef reason am,e make sense?

40yroldman:

Oga, I have my own house

Mr man if you want to be great in life you have to let go of pride otherwise you will be missing opportunities and be struggling over things you should ordinarily have with ease.

Oyinbo talk say pride goeth before a fall

Even the bible says the Lord brings down the proud and lifteth the humble
.

Yoruba talk say person who get head no get cap,person wey get cap no get head. Some people have father inlaws that have turned to an unavoidable liability always billing their daughters husband. You get the one wey offer to be asset you still dey form. I wish I knew that your girlfriend dad.ill tell him that you are an unserious fellow who doesn't know what he wants plus you have pride and superiority complex issues.

You see the way men hate and despise unsubmissive and promiscuous women, that's the same way many wome get turned off/put off by men suffering pride and useless ego.

You get big ego na him your ego no fit get you a better house

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

See OP. I don't know whether your father is still alive or not. But if he still dey alive. Every good thing wey dey this life no go miss your father. Your father go live long in good health.

He raised a son.

Jogging thru the comments I saw lots of nonsense that some stupid people were spewing.

You see, the husband remains the head of the family and not all help should be received. Some helps are like porridge to sell your birthright. Those kind of help are very subtle and they come in disguise, as a matter of fact, they come in when you need them the most. But it's a trap. Once you take such help, you sell your freedom.

Regardless of the relationship between your wife and her father. He has no rights to control your home. He has no rights to tell you where to live with your family.
Your father-in-law is only your father by extension, he is not your real father. Your own father who has authority over you can't tell you where to live after your marriage because you are now a man. You are called a married man not a married boy.

Don't mind those ones calling you proud. Pride and self esteem go hand in hand and fools can't differentiate. Let people call you proud. My father would say "not having the least level of pride as a man in itself is a sin". Chai! God bless my father.

Don't give the steering wheel of your marriage vehicle to your father-in-law.

It is not a bad thing to gift you a house, but it is slavery to dictate how to use the gift. That's like putting a leash on people.

Call your father-in-law. Seek to meet him. Talk to him face to face. Appreciate his gift, massage his ego, patronize him so much. Tell him you want to be a man like your father and like him. Tell him you want your children to be proud of you, the same way his daughter is proud of him. Tell him you appreciate the gift but you won't be staying there.

This is a red flag on your wife's part. Having a good relationship with her father doesn't mean anything. Some fathers are naturally stupid and full of emotions. Her father is no longer her figure of authority. You are.

There is already a high chance that your father in-law would be the one controlling your home.
Take the house , but never sleep there with your family. When your kids are of age, hand it over to them.

I've said it. I'd rather I sleep on the streets than sleep in a house that comes from a woman who is not a relative.
Be a man and grow some balls.
Anyways I wish you peace.

copyrites:
You will regret it if your relationship with his daughter goes sour. You'll be stripped off of everything you are and have. That includes your identity, value, your children and their identity, and more.

A man who can go this far for his daughter will do more to destroy you if you if for any reason whatsoever her daughter decides to end the marriage. It is not a question of right or wrong, but power play.

Chai! See. Your own no go spoil. I didn't even know there would be someone sensible enough on this thread before I went ahead to type an epistle.

Why I go sleep for the house wey my father in-law give me? I will die first before it happens. What kind of stupid men do we have these days? Some people's fathers are useless. They raised useless men.

40yroldman:

Well, houses are not my problem as I have houses of my own. I am a kind of man who wants to dominate my world and my woman, I feel living in a house from her dad will make her feel too independent and less submissive

Don't, I repeat. Don't ever sleep in a house that comes from your wife. Your head should not become tail.

SAMBARRY:
See unnecessary ego over nothing

You no get money, you still get pride

If you come get money nko? You go say make people no waka pass you

If the girl no get good relationship with him papa,na una go say she won't be submissive, if she cannot respect or love her father how she wan love you, she still has good relationship with her dad, that's now a problem?

E no show say any one wey wan satisfy man wan go on journey Of no return

How does having a good relationship with her dad tantamount to forcing another man's family to take a decision against his will?

Some people just lack self esteem all around.

I think it's a great thing for her father to do such a good thing, the issue is insisting you guys stay there. I mean the gift have been given to us and we can as well decide when and when not to pack in. It all balls down to you and your wife to make this decision as partners. Try and explain so you guys can understand each other.

FRANCISTOWN:


See OP. I don't know whether your father is still alive or not. But if he still dey alive. Every good thing wey dey this life no go miss your father. Your father go live long in good health.

He raised a son.

Jogging thru the comments I saw lots of nonsense that some stupid people were spewing.

You see, the husband remains the head of the family and not all help should be received. Some helps are like porridge to sell your birthright. Those kind of help are very subtle and they come in disguise, as a matter of fact, they come in when you need them the most. But it's a trap. Once you take such help, you sell your freedom.

Regardless of the relationship between your wife and her father. He has no rights to control your home. He has no rights to tell you where to live with your family.
Your father-in-law is only your father by extension, he is not your real father. Your own father who has authority over you can't tell you where to live after your marriage because you are not a man. You are called a married man not a married boy.

Don't mind those ones calling you proud. Pride and self esteem go hand in hand and fools can't differentiate. Let people call you proud. My father would say "not having the least level of pride as a man in itself is a sin". Chai! God bless my father.

Don't give the steering wheel of your marriage vehicle to your father-in-law.

It is not a bad thing to gift you a house, but it is slavery to dictate how to use the gift. That's like putting a leash on people.

Call your father-in-law. Seek to meet him. Talk to him face to face. Appreciate his gift, massage his ego, patronize him so much. Tell him you want to be a man like your father and like him. Tell him you want your children to be proud of you, the same way his daughter is proud of him. Tell him you appreciate the gift but you won't be staying there.

This is a red flag on your wife's part. Having a good relationship with her father doesn't mean anything. Some fathers are naturally stupid and full of emotions. Her father is no longer her figure of authority. You are.

There is already a high chance that your father in-law would be the one controlling your home.
Take the house , but never sleep there with your family. When your kids are of age, hand it over to them.

I've said it. I'd rather I sleep on the streets than sleep in a house that comes from a woman who is not a relative.
Be a man and grow some balls.
Anyways I wish you peace.

No truer words have ever been spoken.

FRANCISTOWN:

How does having a good relationship with her dad tantamount to forcing another man's family to take a decision against his will?

Some people just lack self esteem all around.

okaaayyy so the papa point gun for him head say he must take the house by force?

This your excuse lame gannnn. E no enter at all o

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

so you dont have your own house, someone gives you a free house to live in (as wedding gift), so that you guys can save for your own house etc, but you will refuse because thats her father's house (and will rather waste money on renting a house)?

let me ask: do you have money to buy your own house right now?

MrBrownJay1:


so you dont have your own house, someone gives you a free house to live in (as wedding gift), so that you guys can save for your own house etc, but you will refuse because thats her father's house (and will rather waste money on renting a house)?

let me ask: do you have money to buy your own house right now?

He said he has his own house.

40yroldman:
Guys, The girl I want to get married to is the last born in her family and she's fond of her dad. They are close to the point she tells him about all of our activities. I don't have any problem with their closeness.

Where i have issues is her father is insisting that we will live in one of his houses which he will gift us as a wedding gift.
I like this girl and I want to wife her but this wish of her dad doesn't just seat right with me, how will I not take my wife to my own house after getting married.
I've told her about my concerns on this issue but she prefer to do her dad's bidding than give me any consideration.
Guys , do you think it's proper for us to live in her dad's house after marriage?

Funny as it is, another mam will marry her with such condition and live with her there.

But for a man to accept such, he will remove pride from his life, else he will have problems

Anyway in a serious note, if you can't live with such, just let her go and search for another lady

That's her father's wish and she has to obey the man who raised her up to the level you saw her

You’ve said that you have your own home so just tell your wife to accept the gift from her father and put it in her name. She can rent it out or sell it or keep it as inheritance. Her family obviously have money and she’s likely to inherit from her parents. You can continue with your plans for your family. I don’t think you should stand in the way of her father’s gift or live in the property. Don’t insult her father and don’t dictate her relationship with her father. Just let peace rain and follow your own path with your family.