I'm just here to rant and rant. Not here to be judged or see anyone telling me how they'll care for their father if they were to be alive Yen Yen Yen. Idgaf!

As long as I've known the difference between left and right, and identified my mom and dad, It has always been problems.

I can't count the number of times I've experienced them fighting and almost annihilating one another. But mostly, it's my father who gets angry because of things that are unreasonable like food etc. all these heavily influenced by alcohol.

We were living in Lagos before Mom was relocated to our site in a remote part of the south. Undeveloped, bush, and she had to start hawking and selling tea to people in the site just to support us the children as the said dad still stays in Lagos and doing his bike transport work. He comes once in a while and from what I gathered about my mom, he barely comes back home with anything tangible like money or anything.

Worse is that we were living with His younger brother who was living in the site. Our own house has not been built and was just a bare land with nothing on it. So we were living inside my uncle's sitting room. Myself, my mom and 2 other siblings.

Hmmmm

That went by and after some time, my junior siblings started getting sick, in short, we lost two of them but my Mom had our fourth born (now my immediate sibling) so we were now just two with my mom.

My father (I hate calling him my father now so I'd just call him F) had started getting sands and all to build something on the land. All of which were supported by my Mom, not sure how much financially committed but cleaning the place, getting water, and all that. She did this all by herself as per wife Nah LOL.

One thing I remember is that F starts unnecessary fights with Mom whenever there's a need to do something for the children. Like school fee, buying stuffs etc. the beating, destroying of properties Lol. But she stayed sha at least before everything scattered last month.

Unfortunately, as F was developing his house and Mom also contributed to build her shop on the land with the house which she had been using for some time now maybe since 2008 or so.

Till this year, the beating was constant, F's family are no better, bunch of drunks and stupid people.

Around 2016 when I gained admission, to pay acceptance fee turned wahala. We begged, did everything possible but he just comes up with problems to spoil everything and he said he can't kill himself to get acceptance fee for me. Lol. 68k oooo.

Well, I had started hustling since I was probably 10 or so. Yes! 10 years old and I already had a barbershop I was managing by the time I was 16 where I get some cash to support my Mom... I don become responsibility carrier when I was supposed to be a young boy enjoying my childhood and teenage years.

Long story short, I can't calculate the amount I later had to add to my acceptance fee more than 50k in total factoring printing, transport, getting foodstuffs and all. F later gave us 50k sha and mum also help sort part of the food. I resumed school, no place to stay, just managing around the school mosque sleeping in the open. Studied like a mad man, had 4.8/5.0 in my first semester.... I Sabi book sha.

To survive, I was doing barber work after class. In the night, go to hostels, at some point, I did toilet washing too Ooo, washed toilet for someone, did tutorial at some point, started selling equipment at other points. Just anything to survive. I also did security job too Ooo. And I didn't get scholarship.

There's a part I interviewed for one ASUU scholarship then and one stupid scar face decided I'm not befitting for the scholarship and rather gave it to another girl who was on 2 scholarships already lol. And I was on first class. CGPA of around 4.8+ story for another day. I won't forgive this stupid university that also stopped paying the endowment fund for first class students. I only collected 1 out of 4 sessions. God punish you all that made life difficult for every trying person out there.

I graduated o, finished with my first class, went for service, and praise God, I got a job. Started with 100k, got confirmed and salary increased to 200k+. F suddenly feels entitled to getting money from me. I mean he didn't even send me money up to 5 times throughout my university days. He paid my school fee.. 20k per session oo. But any other thing? He didn't give a dime!

The first endowment fund I got (50k Ooo) he saw to it that he collected more than 20k from it, bringing up one issue or the other, blackmailing me until I sent the money to him.

Now that I'm working and sending some cash home to Mom and giving him too, he keeps accusing Mom of blocking me from giving him money.

He said he borrowed money from bank or whatever, I don't know how true but it was 150k. I assisted with 50k to pay back and he was still blackmailing me to send more. I basically told him that's the max I could do because I can't start what I can't finish. But frequently, I send 5k, 10k etc to him for upkeep. Shey I never try? I still dey do for Mom too Ooo and a brother in university as well.

The said 150k loan he mentioned that is now 500k+ and the only thing he wants to do now is to sell the house so. He claimed he can't ride bike anymore and wants to start selling stuffs. But guy! He drinks alcohol more than anything! He doesn't even know anything about the business. But that's not my problem. Issue is mom's shop that is on the land.

He frustrated Mom to the point of breaking the house, puncturing holes on the hole to the bedroom. Myself and my uncle - from Mom side, had to rent somewhere outside for Mom.

There's a lot that has happened but I heard he has sold the house this past Thursday or so for 5 million. He has squandered 2 million from it and one uncle has collected 3m from him. I don't know why sha.

How exactly did I find myself in this kind of family? Everything happens for a reason but I still can't see the reason for me being here.

Like what the fvck really, what the actual fvck!


I'm just a young man and I've been emotionally, mentally, psychologically and socially battered and abused.


The most disturbing thing is he did all these and he is getting away with it. With zero consequences and I hate every bit of it.

It is well ..keep doing the right thing by offering reasonable support . Find yourself a good wife and start your family. Invest your money wisely to build a great future for yourself.

Family dysfunction is common here in Nigeria..all grades and shades... Don't let them get you down ..but forgive so as to free your own self

The problem your father had then was he lacked financially. Some men do behave irrationally when they don't have. So if I were you I will appreciate his little support he gave you during your admission because if he didn't give that little financial support you might not be able to get that admission. So appreciate that little support.

Secondly to stop evil circle of a curse. Recognise him as a father regardless of what he did to your mom or you. So that this evil circle of karma and curses will stop.

Cheer up

.

Tell your mom to leave him

Your mom endured all because of you guys. Make sure she sheds no more tears. Rent a room for her somewhere your F will never find her and then block your fathers line. For an old man to sell and squander the only house he built, he is irredeemably bad and wicked and you need to stop encouraging him. a good man leaves an inheritance for his children., na so bible talk. Leave that bad man to face his judgement or else you will never move forward in life.

galantjoe:
The problem your father had then was he lacked financially. Some men do behave irrationally when they don't have. So if I were you I will appreciate his little support he gave you during your admission because if he didn't give that little financial support you might not be able to get that admission. So appreciate that little support.

Secondly to stop evil circle of a curse. Recognise him as a father regardless of what he did to your mom or you. So that this evil circle of karma and curses will stop.

Stop evil curse by acknowledging an evil doer? What Bible verse supports this? The sins of the Father can only be visited on the son if he walks in his father's footsteps. If he loves and fears God. He will be fine.

Stop giving him money...

Don't finance his lifestyles and tell him u are not working.

Leave pity out of this.

Mom007:
Your mom endured all because of you guys. Make sure she sheds no more tears. Rent a room for her somewhere your F will never find her and then block your fathers line. For an old man to sell and squander the only house he built, he is irredeemably bad and wicked and you need to stop encouraging him. a good man leaves an inheritance for his children., na so bible talk. Leave that bad man to face his judgement or else you will never move forward in life.

Heed to this counsel. Cut /reduce your communication with him aswell, for your sanity sake. Some dad's are better off dead, don't even provoke me by quoting the last sentence @ brainless Nlers.

Assigned:
Like what the fvck really, what the actual fvck!


I'm just a young man and I've been emotionally, mentally, psychologically and socially battered and abused.


The most disturbing thing is he did all these and he is getting away with it. With zero consequences and I hate every bit of it.

I know it won't be easy but do not beat yourself for someone's else irresponsibility.

Set boundaries. Focus more on building yourself and try to be unaffected by things from your father, because this kind of people never change.

Protect your sanity. You have done well for yourself already, do not lose what you have worked for.

Thanks for sharing your expertise in this blog post. Area Code

The good thing I was expecting and actually confirm from your story be say after all the suffer, your mama still dey alive to see you make am.

Take your mum away, get a house and open business for her, then marry and start your family.

For this life, you no fit carry everyone along

Assigned:
I'm just here to rant and rant. Not here to be judged or see anyone telling me how they'll care for their father if they were to be alive Yen Yen Yen. Idgaf!

As long as I've known the difference between left and right, and identified my mom and dad, It has always been problems.

I can't count the number of times I've experienced them fighting and almost annihilating one another. But mostly, it's my father who gets angry because of things that are unreasonable like food etc. all these heavily influenced by alcohol.

We were living in Lagos before Mom was relocated to our site in a remote part of the south. Undeveloped, bush, and she had to start hawking and selling tea to people in the site just to support us the children as the said dad still stays in Lagos and doing his bike transport work. He comes once in a while and from what I gathered about my mom, he barely comes back home with anything tangible like money or anything.

Worse is that we were living with His younger brother who was living in the site. Our own house has not been built and was just a bare land with nothing on it. So we were living inside my uncle's sitting room. Myself, my mom and 2 other siblings.

bro

U have been through a lot through the non chalant attitude of your father, I know past memories still hurt u but above all I want u to see d victory at d end of d struggle

Imagine u went through all these shits n today u are still not doing fine?
Imagine u went through all those shits n till today u still wait for handouts from your father?

See ehn, get your mom a nice place n nice business to compliment, u can arrange one on one meeting with your dad n make him realise his mistake

I can bet u d old man will cry heavy tears, then u place him on monthly pay n make him know u won't add a penny to it

The reason y I want u to tell him his mistakes is because anytime those people who really don't know d reason behind your actions of taking your mom away wants to say anything bad about u

Conscience will pick him n he won't dare let them do it, it will b like u hurl an heavy load on him.

All d best I wish u well

Just finished speaking with Mom and to be honest, my heart is bleeding. Is this really how she'll suffer in vain while hearing from everyone how F keeps squandering the money from the house?

She told me how she heard people saying F leaves from one beer Parlor into the other while she has my 4 siblings to cater for with just little that I am ND my uncle could support her with.


Is there really no Woman rights, female support or all these agencies?

What really is their use if they can't help at this critical time?

Assigned:
I'm just here to rant and rant. Not here to be judged or see anyone telling me how they'll care for their father if they were to be alive Yen Yen Yen. Idgaf!

As long as I've known the difference between left and right, and identified my mom and dad, It has always been problems.

I can't count the number of times I've experienced them fighting and almost annihilating one another. But mostly, it's my father who gets angry because of things that are unreasonable like food etc. all these heavily influenced by alcohol.

We were living in Lagos before Mom was relocated to our site in a remote part of the south. Undeveloped, bush, and she had to start hawking and selling tea to people in the site just to support us the children as the said dad still stays in Lagos and doing his bike transport work. He comes once in a while and from what I gathered about my mom, he barely comes back home with anything tangible like money or anything.

Worse is that we were living with His younger brother who was living in the site. Our own house has not been built and was just a bare land with nothing on it. So we were living inside my uncle's sitting room. Myself, my mom and 2 other siblings.

Assigned:
Like what the fvck really, what the actual fvck!


I'm just a young man and I've been emotionally, mentally, psychologically and socially battered and abused.


The most disturbing thing is he did all these and he is getting away with it. With zero consequences and I hate every bit of it.

Batter Those Battering You !!
Once You Know the Problems, You have Solved 50% of The Problems....

The Solution is Opposite of The Problems!