The upper chamber of the National Assembly, the Senate, has rejected a bill aimed at setting out the rules and conditions for operating and practicing private investigations in Nigeria.

The bill, introduced by Senator Osita Ngwu (PDP, Enugu West), was voted down by most members during the discussion in the Red Chamber.

In his opening remarks, Senator Ngwu, who serves as the Senate Minority Whip, explained that the bill’s main goals include establishing a structure for the licensing and regulation of private investigators, as well as setting standards for their professional conduct.

He mentioned that private investigation is a well-established field in countries such as the United Kingdom, the United States, Australia, and Canada.

Senator Ngwu pointed out that some private investigators have backgrounds in law enforcement, while others come from the military and intelligence sectors.

He also highlighted the growing global trend of requiring licenses for private investigators to uphold ethical standards.

“The objectives of the bill include fraud prevention, detection, assessment and resolution; corporate fraud and risk management services; insurance fraud and claims investigation; aviation accident and loss investigation; marine loss investigation; occupational health and safety incident investigation; and witness location and bail bond defaulters etc.

“The bill defines the scope of the profession; ensures standards; provides penalty for professional negligence; prescribes offences for operation without a license and encourages industry-based training to maintain capacity.

“The bill essentially seeks to professionalize the industry and has no financial implication,” Senator Ngwu noted.

However, during the debate on the bill, while the Senate Deputy Minority Leader, Senator Olalere Oyewumi, and Senator Victor Umeh supported the bill, others like senators Adams Oshiomhole, Iya Abbas, and Mustapha Saliu kicked against it, describing it as a recipe for a personal fight.

Having watched different arguments from his corner, the President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio, called on the bill’s sponsor to withdraw it for further legislative inputs, which he hurriedly did.

https://www./2024/10/02/senate-rejects-bill-on-private-investigators-in-nigeria/

In a country where transparency and accountability are nothing more than catchy buzzwords to sprinkle into speeches, the Nigerian Senate has done what they do best—protect themselves from being found out. The recent rejection of a bill aimed at licensing private investigators in Nigeria is not just another legislative mishap. No, this is a calculated move—a masterclass in self-preservation. Because, honestly, how could a Senate filled with politicians lugging around skeleton-filled cupboards ever allow the existence of private investigators? It would be akin to handing out magnifying glasses in a hall of mirrors, inviting everyone to see just how deep the rabbit hole of corruption goes.

Let’s not pretend here. The rejection of this bill has nothing to do with procedural flaws or concerns about professional conduct. The truth is simpler and far more insidious: the last thing Nigerian politicians want is anyone poking around their affairs, peeling back the layers of secrecy they’ve so carefully cultivated. Imagine private investigators sniffing around, unearthing inconvenient truths—illegal contracts, shady deals, hidden mansions in Dubai. If private investigators were allowed to practice freely in Nigeria, we’d need a whole new National Assembly. And let’s be clear, no senator wants to be replaced by someone who actually has nothing to hide.

The Senate’s Worst Nightmare: A Truth-Exposing Society

Private investigators—trained professionals with backgrounds in law enforcement and intelligence—are commonplace in countries like the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia. Their role is straightforward: they find the truth. But in Nigeria, finding the truth is not just discouraged; it’s a downright threat to the status quo. After all, how can you expect a room full of lawmakers to support legislation that may one day have someone investigating them?

Let’s consider the bill’s contents for a moment. It proposed to establish standards for private investigators to tackle fraud detection, corporate fraud, risk management, and even the investigation of government negligence. In essence, it’s the kind of bill that would have the political elite quaking in their agbadas. Because we all know what happens when the truth comes to light—it gets messy. It gets dangerous. And, in Nigeria, the truth is the Senate’s worst nightmare.

How could they possibly allow private investigators to expose the false narratives that many of them have woven into their public personas? These same politicians who stand before the electorate with their well-rehearsed speeches about transparency, honesty, and patriotism are the ones ensuring that no one is ever in a position to call their bluff. Private investigators in Nigeria? It would be the end of this deceitful charade they’ve built over the years.

Honesty is Bad for Business—Political Business

Let’s not forget that politicians have made an art of projecting a holier-than-thou image. Many of these senators have perfected the craft of playing victim, posturing as selfless defenders of the people. They claim to be servants of the masses, only to enter office and endorse fiscal policies that threaten the extinction of the very Nigerians who voted them in. But private investigators would have none of that. They’d shine a light into the dark corners of political offices, illuminating the greed, hypocrisy, and endless web of lies.

Imagine this: A private investigator following the trail of missing funds from a public project—money that was supposed to build schools, fix roads, or fund hospitals. Imagine that investigator tracing those funds to a hidden offshore account, owned by a senator who passionately argued for “fiscal responsibility” just the week before. If private investigators existed in Nigeria, they’d rip apart the falsehoods our politicians feed us. And that, my friends, is bad for business—political business.

A Culture of Deception Thrives on Ignorance

For decades, Nigerian politicians have thrived on the ignorance of the people. Without access to the tools of accountability—like private investigators—citizens are left to trust the very people who consistently lie to them. But who needs accountability in a system designed to reward deceit? In Nigeria, politicians assume office with one foot already out the door, ready to fly off to foreign lands as soon as the going gets tough, or the economy (which they’ve mismanaged) comes crashing down. They leave the mess behind, confident that no one will be investigating their misdeeds, at least not legally.

Private investigators would strip away the anonymity that many senators enjoy. They would follow the money trail, expose the hidden assets, and reveal the truth about “honest” politicians who preach water and drink champagne. And that’s the crux of the issue: truth is dangerous in Nigeria. It threatens the very foundation upon which the current political class stands.

The Lies Must Continue

The rejection of the private investigator bill isn’t just a legislative hiccup. It’s a loud and clear message from the Senate: we don’t want to be found out. In their world, lies are not just a tool—they are the lifeblood of governance. And as long as those lies remain intact, politicians can continue to enact policies that serve their own interests while proclaiming to care for the people.

In a society where private investigators were free to operate, the political class would face an existential crisis. The façade of honesty, the pretend transparency, the public grandstanding—it would all come crashing down. And that’s exactly why they’ll never allow it.

As it stands, the only investigating that goes on in Nigeria is the kind that ends up with the investigator in trouble. Who will investigate the investigators, after all? Certainly not the Senate. So, the politicians will continue to preach accountability while ensuring that no one can ever hold them accountable. And the Nigerian people? They’ll continue to live in a country where the truth is always just out of reach, locked away in the chambers of a Senate that has too many skeletons to ever risk letting them out.

Because, in the end, how can you allow private investigators to roam free when you’re the one hiding all the secrets?

malali:
In a country where transparency and accountability are nothing more than catchy buzzwords to sprinkle into speeches, the Nigerian Senate has done what they do best—protect themselves from being found out. The recent rejection of a bill aimed at licensing private investigators in Nigeria is not just another legislative mishap. No, this is a calculated move—a masterclass in self-preservation. Because, honestly, how could a Senate filled with politicians lugging around skeleton-filled cupboards ever allow the existence of private investigators? It would be akin to handing out magnifying glasses in a hall of mirrors, inviting everyone to see just how deep the rabbit hole of corruption goes.

Let’s not pretend here. The rejection of this bill has nothing to do with procedural flaws or concerns about professional conduct. The truth is simpler and far more insidious: the last thing Nigerian politicians want is anyone poking around their affairs, peeling back the layers of secrecy they’ve so carefully cultivated. Imagine private investigators sniffing around, unearthing inconvenient truths—illegal contracts, shady deals, hidden mansions in Dubai. If private investigators were allowed to practice freely in Nigeria, we’d need a whole new National Assembly. And let’s be clear, no senator wants to be replaced by someone who actually has nothing to hide.

The Senate’s Worst Nightmare: A Truth-Exposing Society

Private investigators—trained professionals with backgrounds in law enforcement and intelligence—are commonplace in countries like the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia. Their role is straightforward: they find the truth. But in Nigeria, finding the truth is not just discouraged; it’s a downright threat to the status quo. After all, how can you expect a room full of lawmakers to support legislation that may one day have someone investigating them?

Let’s consider the bill’s contents for a moment. It proposed to establish standards for private investigators to tackle fraud detection, corporate fraud, risk management, and even the investigation of government negligence. In essence, it’s the kind of bill that would have the political elite quaking in their agbadas. Because we all know what happens when the truth comes to light—it gets messy. It gets dangerous. And, in Nigeria, the truth is the Senate’s worst nightmare.

How could they possibly allow private investigators to expose the false narratives that many of them have woven into their public personas? These same politicians who stand before the electorate with their well-rehearsed speeches about transparency, honesty, and patriotism are the ones ensuring that no one is ever in a position to call their bluff. Private investigators in Nigeria? It would be the end of this deceitful charade they’ve built over the years.

Honesty is Bad for Business—Political Business

Let’s not forget that politicians have made an art of projecting a holier-than-thou image. Many of these senators have perfected the craft of playing victim, posturing as selfless defenders of the people. They claim to be servants of the masses, only to enter office and endorse fiscal policies that threaten the extinction of the very Nigerians who voted them in. But private investigators would have none of that. They’d shine a light into the dark corners of political offices, illuminating the greed, hypocrisy, and endless web of lies.

Imagine this: A private investigator following the trail of missing funds from a public project—money that was supposed to build schools, fix roads, or fund hospitals. Imagine that investigator tracing those funds to a hidden offshore account, owned by a senator who passionately argued for “fiscal responsibility” just the week before. If private investigators existed in Nigeria, they’d rip apart the falsehoods our politicians feed us. And that, my friends, is bad for business—political business.

A Culture of Deception Thrives on Ignorance

For decades, Nigerian politicians have thrived on the ignorance of the people. Without access to the tools of accountability—like private investigators—citizens are left to trust the very people who consistently lie to them. But who needs accountability in a system designed to reward deceit? In Nigeria, politicians assume office with one foot already out the door, ready to fly off to foreign lands as soon as the going gets tough, or the economy (which they’ve mismanaged) comes crashing down. They leave the mess behind, confident that no one will be investigating their misdeeds, at least not legally.

Private investigators would strip away the anonymity that many senators enjoy. They would follow the money trail, expose the hidden assets, and reveal the truth about “honest” politicians who preach water and drink champagne. And that’s the crux of the issue: truth is dangerous in Nigeria. It threatens the very foundation upon which the current political class stands.

The Lies Must Continue

The rejection of the private investigator bill isn’t just a legislative hiccup. It’s a loud and clear message from the Senate: we don’t want to be found out. In their world, lies are not just a tool—they are the lifeblood of governance. And as long as those lies remain intact, politicians can continue to enact policies that serve their own interests while proclaiming to care for the people.

In a society where private investigators were free to operate, the political class would face an existential crisis. The façade of honesty, the pretend transparency, the public grandstanding—it would all come crashing down. And that’s exactly why they’ll never allow it.

As it stands, the only investigating that goes on in Nigeria is the kind that ends up with the investigator in trouble. Who will investigate the investigators, after all? Certainly not the Senate. So, the politicians will continue to preach accountability while ensuring that no one can ever hold them accountable. And the Nigerian people? They’ll continue to live in a country where the truth is always just out of reach, locked away in the chambers of a Senate that has too many skeletons to ever risk letting them out.

Because, in the end, how can you allow private investigators to roam free when you’re the one hiding all the secrets?

My brother, you have said it all.
The criminals in the Senate would scuttle anything that would beam the light of investigation and probe on their affairs in office.

Hmmm

Private investigators can operate with or without government approval. After all, this is the same thing Sahara Reporters, Premium Times, FIJ, etc have been doing for years now and even getting financial support from overseas donors.

Private investigators my foot, it’ll be corrupted just like the efcc