cococandy:




Is your reality that women don’t contribute financially to their marriages?

Yes or no?

I know the answer but it’s good to watch you lie in 4K

iamtoofan:



if my reality does not allign with your goal you go gree

Like i said, i cant say women don't contribute in marriages even 5% naa contribution.
A woman can use her money to branch market n buy grocery come house but when it comes to the big bills ...i am saying wives most times borrow men money dey drop.


Maybe my fellow men should say its a Lie

cococandy:
You never make sense. Always off topic and even when you try to communicate it through a different account one can easily see that it’s you.

Take care. Bye

pocohantas:
Majority of the issues here revolves around money. Thankfully I didn't see many cases of physical or emotional abuse.

If the man is walking through coal to provide for a family on a single income, he is just as frustrated. So they are definitely surviving on a tight budget in 2024. I will suggest the women talk to their husbands to at least help with dressing the kids in the morning.

Or, they can get a job and outsource some tasks.

When we emphasize on the importance of a woman having an income before or in marriage, they say it is feminism and we are deceiving young girls. But money would save you a lot of bad days and help you ignore things that would have ordinarily caused issues in your marriage.

=============

Except you are married to the minute percentage of Nigerian men that can shoulder all the bills and still provide you appliances and a help. This would most likely be your reality.

Finally, 2 kids is okay for 99.9% of Nigerian families. The remaining 0.1 are politicians, executives, trustfund babies, oil workers and people earning a solid 7digit income.

Let's stop repeating a cycle of parents who spend all their youth training kids until they forget the main reason they got married - COMPANIONSHIP. It is not the flex y'all think it is.

Thank you!

temi4fash:


This your wisdom eh.. May God continue give you more

Being following your post for awhile..

Hope you are holding up pretty well, the Lord would continue to strengthen you.

queenfav:
How do i frame this? People forget having kids is a huge responsibility financially, emotionally and otherwise.It eludes me why People who are clearly financially struggling have so many kids.

Like, you haven't even fed well and you have 4 kids in this economy.Even an oil worker will struggle a bit with the kind of inflation we are dealing with in Nigeria.Have you seen the prices of basic household items, school fees even ordinary food?
I don't even know how low income earners are surviving.

I always advice women to secure the bag.This world isn't fair to women,you have to protect yourself.If you are not making your own money no matter how small you have no business having kids.It's too risky to rely on your husband for money.What if he dies?How will you feed those kids?Bringing a child to endure hunger and hardship isn't the best at all.

More women should learn how to be very strategic about their life's choices because when the suffering will start,na only you go see the shege.

Acidosis:

If you look closely, you'll find that some of the women who complain about their husbands barely helping with household chores have sons they rarely allow to do the same. I once asked a married woman why her two boys, aged 10 and 7, couldn't make a simple meal like noodles. Her response: 'They are boys.' This same woman complains every other day about her 'lazy' husband.

Women who expect more from their husbands should start by raising sons who actively contribute at home. Be the change you want to see.

Also, men who complain about Nigerian girls should strive to be the change they want to see. Be a role model to your daughters, raise the standard, give maximum financial support to your daughters, and the complaints will reduce.

NoToPile:
Interesting thread.

Just understand that majority of Nigerian men want a woman who contributes financially and does all the child raising and home chores alone. That's their definition of a good wife.

Some faworajas have even raised the bar higher for the woman to contribute all financially and still do all domestically

The koko is women should shine their eyes, some will still fall into the trap of some of these categories sha.

If the so called 50-50 can't go both ways it's a scam.

Kuku do 100-100 of the gender roles let everybody rest.

pocohantas:


This is how many reason until they are old and start blaming the woman for manipulating the kids against them. Same kids they didn't bond with as kids. It is always ludicrous that women go on to have 2 or more kids for men like this. Because one thing with Naija men is they hardly disguise their bad values and character. So how do you have CHILDREN for him? Children you will raise alone. It beats me everytime.

descarado:

Thank you Acid.
We are the architect of our problems.

I have boys.
Oga cook while his boys watch. Fast forward, they own the kitchen now. Just that I spent triple on spices and herbs and whatever. Its a complete nightmare but i really care less. Nobody tells me they have finished until I want to use them.
I can't remember when last I loaded the washing machine, vacuumed or mop. If you fail to do any, you are grounded. We will start taking off your privileges. Passworded all tv, no phone, laptops are for homeworks only. Will simply tell you to go and be creative with your time. Sult for all I care. If you disturb me more, I will tell you to write I am sorry 500 times

This way, you teach your male child to be proactive at home. We spoil them and still cry woof.
I don't even have a female around me. Growing up was that way too. All men around me do exactly what women do and more. I just don't understand the things I read online

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

Zonefree:
A female Nigerian student would slave for her school boyfriend for 4-5 years without complaining.
-She'll cook and serve the young man and his friends.
-Wash his clothes.
-Clean and tidy his rooms/kitchen.
-Wash his toilet.
-Attend to sexual needs in marvelous ways.

All these for free!

Same girl will get married and start to complain after just 8 months that house chores are too much for her. Same chores she was doing for her school boyfriend for years without complains!


If you want to practice feminism, stay in your father's house! As long as marriage is in your dictionary and you're getting married in an African settings, get ready to work!

Lazy dimwits!

Psych412:
Here in Nigeria, some/most men here have all turn their marriages to a slave scheme....a slave mentality, putting their wives in bondage and in anguish.



That's why married women in Nigeria now look older than their age....this slave mentality needs to stop and be abolished

Rexymania:
I do help my wife to do the dishes sometimes

Marriage is not easy for both parties

Now I earn more but spend little on my self. I earn close to 100k monthly but e no dey show for my body

queenfav:
How do i frame this? People forget having kids is a huge responsibility financially, emotionally and otherwise.It eludes me why People who are clearly financially struggling have so many kids.

Like, you haven't even fed well and you have 4 kids in this economy.Even an oil worker will struggle a bit with the kind of inflation we are dealing with in Nigeria.Have you seen the prices of basic household items, school fees even ordinary food?
I don't even know how low income earners are surviving.

I always advice women to secure the bag.This world isn't fair to women,you have to protect yourself.If you are not making your own money no matter how small you have no business having kids.It's too risky to rely on your husband for money.What if he dies?How will you feed those kids?Bringing a child to endure hunger and hardship isn't the best at all.

More women should learn how to be very strategic about their life's choices because when the suffering will start,na only you go see the shege.

JovialJune:


Marriage is not an escape route to anything what exactly is anyone escaping from that isn't happening or present when single?

The best way to face marital life is to expect nothing and hope for the best, and if in a situation whereby one can't cope anymore and one's health is at risk, leave. Marriage is not a do or die affair.

SKhanmi:


In a symbiotic mature relationship where you treat each other well & try to understand your partner , what you’re saying will work. You wouldn’t even need to ask sef.

No guy that knows his worth likes a woman that lays like a Log of wood or nonchalantly tries to please you.

NoToPile:
Interesting thread.

Just understand that majority of Nigerian men want a woman who contributes financially and does all the child raising and home chores alone. That's their definition of a good wife.

Some faworajas have even raised the bar higher for the woman to contribute all financially and still do all domestically

The koko is women should shine their eyes, some will still fall into the trap of some of these categories sha.

If the so called 50-50 can't go both ways it's a scam.

Kuku do 100-100 of the gender roles let everybody rest.

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

We4all:
Getting married to an African man is like being sentenced to life in prison. Once they pay their peanuts bride price, they think they own their women and can do whatever they want with them. There are still some good men out there, but the bad men overshadow the good ones.

ABANGWABOI:
I wish all Men can be ruthless like the Men in the lives of these women..

If you like Don't be in Charge as a Man.. you will be the one to become Miserable and later dead...

You either superior or Inferior to your wife, there is no middle ground...

CodeTemplarr:
Why will he help with kids when he has to work extra hard to dig a borehole, generate electricity and pump water as against you going to the streams to fetch as it is in the books that inspired the provider role of man?

He also provides milled rice + grains and not the raw ones you have to go mill yourself like it was in biblical times.

He probably bought blenders, miicrowave oven, freezer, and washing machine which were never under the role of provision by provider in the bible. He probably pays the electricity bills for all those.

No wonder household level Yahoo is trendy today. There has to be spiritual shortcut or support for the man to meet those numerous emanating needs outside the original purview of the provider. They can agree on any kid or young maid around as victim. Any new innovation falls under the role of the provider.

If a machine that baths and dresses babies is created today, it becomes the man's job to provide and power it. Most likely within the city where the means to rapidly expand productive output in exchange for more money is highly limited. Tell me which brand of phone did Sarah use? What channel of satellite TV provider of their time was her favourite?

Is domestic battle even harder than field battles to start with?