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About 15 years ago,A man of God in this country, faced high level of rejections from fellow ministers of the Gospel, they called him names, they advised their members not to go to his church, it was terrible. Now, His church is known, almost all over the world. The question now is that, what kept him going? It is the power of vision. It is the divine blueprint that God gives to you, to fufil your destiny on earth. It is your desired future. The Bible says; Proverb 29: 18" Where there is no vision, the people perish" Paul the Apostle, despite the strong oppositons, he faced, said" i was not disobedience to the heavenly vision". As it is applicable, spiritually, it is also applicable physically, you must have a vision of your destination, what do you want? Have a vision. What do you want to become in 10 years time? Convert your vision to goal. Then let your goal be converted to task. This way, you will mount up as eagles in the midst of violent storm. That is why the eagle is a strange bird. You will see rejections as stage you will have to pass through, before you are crowned. Your greatness depend largely on how you react to rejections. Great thread. God bless you. God2man.

DeeMain:

Feelings of rejection is a surface symptom of a deeper malaise. The problem may have deep roots in your upbringing and family. How much secure did u feel as a child? How much love did u feel? How safe did u feel while growing up? How much self-esteem was built into u by your caregivers?

After a broken relationship, periods of pain , grieve, disappointment, hurts are all in order, but when one feels rejected the implication is that the individual was dependent on the spouse/boy- or girlfiend for his or her self-esteem or self-image. Loving ourselves, accepting ourselves - warts and all - is a first step to a stable relationship and being able to move on with lessons learnt when relationships don't work.

Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self. To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks what program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

I believe that rejection poses one of the most fundamental ego-busters to the psyche. To overcome rejection, one may have to read about people who had once been rejected before, and give time for the mind to be healed and toughened by the experience. But the above is easier said than done , though.

Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.

@orikin

If you can't carry this burden, then detach yourself emotionally from all humans.
Problem solved,

its by self confidence

Skii:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks what program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

1.) Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis.

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are. U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area.

caye:

Skii link=topic=824461.msg9766999#msg9766999 date=1323896698:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks what program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.

True. Both seeking help from a professional can make the hardwork easier or bearable.

Skii:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself,  I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks what program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

1.) Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis.

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are.  U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area. .

caye:

Skii link=topic=824461.msg9766999#msg9766999 date=1323896698:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself,  I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks what program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.

True. Both seeking help from a professional can make the hardwork easier or bearable.

hmmmm, great topic.

Lemme share my story,

I was rejected by my husband and his family, as i write this i am going tru a divorce. before my husband filed for the divorce while we were separeted, i was feeling rejected but as soon as he filed for the divorce, i told myself that i was bigger than this.I squared my shoulders and started developing myself and career. I make sure that each time we meet in court, he takes a second look at me and see what he has lost. i had to encourage myself and look at the brighter side of life.I hold on to the scriptures that says all things work together for good to them that love God. I remember Joseph in the bible, how he turned out to help his family that sold him.

I must say that it hasn't been easy cos there are times I really break down and cry,not for the marriage or my husband but for my 3 yr old baby that his family collected from me. But again I encourage myself and tell myself that the law is on my side, so far the court case is going in my favour and I know that very soon I will be united with my daughter again.

i try to engage in social activities and I put in so much time in my work. so instead on sitting down in my room and feel sorry for myself, i started my masters and trying to build my career. I don't feel rejected cos I know that I am bigger than him that's why he lies in court and everywhere and has never been bold enough to say the truth of what actually happaened between us.

We must have confident in our-self. "Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have."

So we don't get my response twisted. Here is it without the questions by Skii: The process to getting your real self back is:

1.)Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis. (Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor, coach, or even God about it).

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are. U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area.

[s]Well i guess it depends on the type of rejection[/s].in the past i used to have a hard time being turned down by a lady when i ask her out, but as i got older i got better at wooing em and it no longer became a big deal.
Guess deres no better way ti face your fears than to face them squarely#in my opinion!!!

@DeeMain

Thanks, I have copied your response

Its now to put it in practice. Hopefully it'll work!

God bless!

U should not live ur life to please people it would eventually be seen as an act of foolishness trust me

Skii:

@DeeMain

Thanks, I have copied your response

Its now to put it in practice. Hopefully it'll work!

God bless!

Cool. Let me know how it pans out. Best wishes.

Dust it off and act like you don't care.

Asking God for strenght.

By just totally depending on God. It is never easy.