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How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? - Nairaland / General (2) - Nairaland

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How Did/do You Handle Rejection ? / Overcoming Feelings Of Worthlessness / What Do You Do When Your Friend Confesses He Has Feelings For You (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by nyxus(m): 8:56pm On Dec 14, 2011
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Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by God2man(m): 8:57pm On Dec 14, 2011
About 15 years ago,A man of God in this country, faced high level of rejections from fellow ministers of the Gospel, they called him names, they advised their members not to go to his church, it was terrible. Now, His church is known, almost all over the world. The question now is that, what kept him going? It is the power of vision. It is the divine blueprint that God gives to you, to fufil your destiny on earth. It is your desired future. The Bible says; Proverb 29: 18" Where there is no vision, the people perish" Paul the Apostle, despite the strong oppositons, he faced, said" i was not disobedience to the heavenly vision". As it is applicable, spiritually, it is also applicable physically, you must have a vision of your destination, what do you want? Have a vision. What do you want to become in 10 years time? Convert your vision to goal. Then let your goal be converted to task. This way, you will mount up as eagles in the midst of violent storm. That is why the eagle is a strange bird. You will see rejections as stage you will have to pass through, before you are crowned. Your greatness depend largely on how you react to rejections. Great thread. God bless you. God2man.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Skii(m): 10:04pm On Dec 14, 2011
DeeMain:

Feelings of rejection is a surface symptom of a deeper malaise. The problem may have deep roots in your upbringing and family. How much secure did u feel as a child? How much love did u feel? How safe did u feel while growing up? How much self-esteem was built into u by your caregivers?

After a broken relationship, periods of pain , grieve, disappointment, hurts are all in order, but when one feels rejected the implication is that the individual was dependent on the spouse/boy- or girlfiend for his or her self-esteem or self-image. Loving ourselves, accepting ourselves - warts and all - is a first step to a stable relationship and being able to move on with lessons learnt when relationships don't work.

Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self. To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, embarassed I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks sadwhat program do you suggest I use to reprogram?
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by caye(m): 10:25pm On Dec 14, 2011
I believe that rejection poses one of the most fundamental ego-busters to the psyche. To overcome rejection, one may have to read about people who had once been rejected before, and give time for the mind to be healed and toughened by the experience. But the above is easier said than done , though.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by caye(m): 10:28pm On Dec 14, 2011
Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.
smiley
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by dramenda(f): 11:46pm On Dec 14, 2011
@orikin
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by JgregeJung: 6:30am On Dec 15, 2011
If you can't carry this burden, then detach yourself emotionally from all humans.
Problem solved,
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Pinpok(m): 8:09am On Dec 15, 2011
its by self confidence
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by DeeMain(m): 8:46am On Dec 15, 2011
Skii:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, embarassed I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks sadwhat program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

1.) Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis.

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are. U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area.


caye:
Skii link=topic=824461.msg9766999#msg9766999 date=1323896698:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, embarassed I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks sadwhat program do you suggest I use to reprogram?


Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.
smiley

True. Both seeking help from a professional can make the hardwork easier or bearable.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by DeeMain(m): 8:48am On Dec 15, 2011
Skii:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, embarassed  I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks sadwhat program do you suggest I use to reprogram?

1.) Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis.

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are.  U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area. .



caye:
Skii link=topic=824461.msg9766999#msg9766999 date=1323896698:

@DeeMain, infact I tire for myself, embarassed  I know I shouldnt blame anybody and the problem lies with me but I feel so full of terrible viruses that it affects my thinking, relationships with people and even God!!

They say its hard to teach an old dog new tricks sadwhat program do you suggest I use to reprogram?


Bottomline: nobody can reject you without your permission. Nobody can make u feel rejected. If you feel rejected, then you have a lot of work to do to find your authentic self.  To solve the problem of feelings of rejection, the issue has to be uprooted from the roots - your self-image, your neediness, your self-esteem which have been programmed inside of you from events and experiences in your upbringing.


True. But the bottom line is that the hardwork belongs to you.
smiley

True. Both seeking help from a professional can make the hardwork easier or bearable.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Stdomain(f): 9:18am On Dec 15, 2011
hmmmm, great topic.

Lemme share my story,

I was rejected by my husband and his family, as i write this i am going tru a divorce. before my husband filed for the divorce while we were separeted, i was feeling rejected but as soon as he filed for the divorce, i told myself that i was bigger than this.I squared my shoulders and started developing myself and career. I make sure that each time we meet in court, he takes a second look at me and see what he has lost. i had to encourage myself and look at the brighter side of life.I hold on to the scriptures that says all things work together for good to them that love God. I remember Joseph in the bible, how he turned out to help his family that sold him.

I must say that it hasn't been easy cos there are times I really break down and cry,not for the marriage or my husband but for my 3 yr old baby that his family collected from me. But again I encourage myself and tell myself that the law is on my side, so far the court case is going in my favour and I know that very soon I will be united with my daughter again.

i try to engage in social activities and I put in so much time in my work. so instead on sitting down in my room and feel sorry for myself, i started my masters and trying to build my career. I don't feel rejected cos I know that I am bigger than him that's why he lies in court and everywhere and has never been bold enough to say the truth of what actually happaened between us.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Baawaa(m): 10:34am On Dec 15, 2011
We must have confident in our-self. "Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have."
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by DeeMain(m): 11:36am On Dec 15, 2011
So we don't get my response twisted. Here is it without the questions by Skii: The process to getting your real self back is:

1.)Heal your childhood memories/traumas/pains. Talk repeatedly about it, every single detail until there are no more emotions attached to the memory. Alternatively, write about it. This works because our memories are encoded in words and pictures. Talking or writing about it releases toxic emotions. It's called catharsis. (Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor, coach, or even God about it).

2.) Work on your self-image. Use affirmations or biblical confessions (if you are a christain) repeatedly and affirm what you truly are. U can google about affirmations. Remember what u are going thru now is as a result of the pollution of a perfect human by past experiences and events. Repetition is key because that's a good way to recondition a new belief, image or habit.

3.)Relearn new habits, behaviours, attitudes. Be humble and learn and ask for feedback from trusted people.

Note: If your memories are too traumatic or painful or you are not making the progress u want, then u need to seek for professional help. Look for Life coaches, therapists or psychologists in your area.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by redleich(m): 2:33pm On Dec 15, 2011
[s]Well i guess it depends on the type of rejection[/s].in the past i used to have a hard time being turned down by a lady when i ask her out, but as i got older i got better at wooing em and it no longer became a big deal.
Guess deres no better way ti face your fears than to face them squarely#in my opinion!!!
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Skii(m): 5:45pm On Dec 15, 2011
@DeeMain

Thanks, I have copied your response wink

Its now to put it in practice. Hopefully it'll work! smiley

God bless! kiss
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by purplekayc(m): 6:49pm On Dec 15, 2011
U should not live ur life to please people it would eventually be seen as an act of foolishness trust me
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by DeeMain(m): 2:34pm On Dec 16, 2011
Skii:

@DeeMain

Thanks, I have copied your response wink

Its now to put it in practice. Hopefully it'll work! smiley

God bless! kiss

Cool. Let me know how it pans out. Best wishes.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Nattyacid: 10:36am On Dec 17, 2011
Dust it off and act like you don't care.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Fattyaid: 11:35am On Dec 17, 2011
Asking God for strenght.
Re: How Can We Overcome Feelings Of Rejection? by Gague: 1:13pm On Dec 17, 2011
By just totally depending on God. It is never easy.

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