On the fence about having kids - seeking honest opinions from parents
My girlfriend (24) and I (25) have been together for a while now, and we've been having an ongoing discussion about having children. Initially, we both wanted kids, but as time went on, my girlfrien's views changed after seeing his siblings struggle with unplanned pregnancies and raising children in their early 20s. We also witnessed behavioral issues with kids in our past jobs as teachers and are scared it’s just society at the moment. It’s actually a reason we left the field.

Are people are just lying to us that it’s amazing and worth it because they feel ashamed to say it’s not actually all that great.

We have had 2 of our friend couples tell us not to believe everyone when they say it is worth it they just want you to be miserable as parents just like them. While most other parents say it’s so amazing and that we will regret not having any when we are older.

As we weigh our decision, we want to hear from honest parents: Is this true? is it enjoyable being a parent I am sure there is beautiful memories and times etc but is it worth it? Are the beautiful memories and times worth the challenges and sacrifices? We're not looking for sugarcoated answers or guilt trips. We genuinely want to know if it's worth it.

Also any couples who don’t have kids by choice do you feel a longing like something is missing in your life?

Help us make an informed decision about our future.

Thanks in advance for your candid responses!

Your bank account balance is the best resource to know if you will want to have a child.

I don’t think anyone’s perspective will work for you cos they not in your shoes.

Look at your account statement, be truthful to yourself and do a feasibility study. I can bet that you will reach a conclusion.

It is better to have something and not need it, rather than need something and not have it.

The same is true of children

Please do not have children. The world is toooooo evil to sustain their survival.

Secondly, they will be infected with all the evils flying around to the point that you will not recognise them, so all your dreams and hopes on them will turn to disaster.

If you thought the bible was just a book now the events of this world proves how right it was

Dimaya:
It is better to have something and not need it, rather than need something and not have it.

The same is true of children

Children are not range rovers.

CoronaVirusPro:
Your bank account balance is the best resource to know if you will want to have a child.

I don’t think anyone’s perspective will work for you cos they not in your shoes.

Look at your account statement, be truthful to yourself and do a feasibility study. I can bet that you will reach a conclusion.

Money is not everything but you people never listen

Dtruthspeaker:
Please do not have children. The world is toooooo evil sustain their survival.

Secondly, they will be infected with all the evils flying around to the point that you will not recognise them, so all your dreams and hopes on them will turn to disaster.

If you thought the bible was just a book now the events of this world proves how right it was

The bolded is in direct contradiction of God's plan in Genesis 1:28: where God tells Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply"

RealityKings:


The bolded is in direct contradiction of God's plan in Genesis 1:28: where God tells Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply"

A plan terminated by the words "it is Finished" and "in the last days"

Dtruthspeaker:


A plan terminated by the words "it is Finished" and "in the last days"

There is No Valid Argument Against The Truth!
Let op "be fruitful and multiply"

Life itself is absolutely about creating /procreation

RealityKings:


There is No Valid Argument Against The Truth!
Let op "be fruitful and multiply"

Life itself is absolutely about creating /procreation

The Owner of Life has already told us that it is no use for the people have chosen death rather Life despite all He has done to warn and save them.

And now, it is Finished! Death is what fills the earth. Thus, if no one is stupid enough to build a house on the Lagos Calabar coastal road routes, so also it is to birth children on this world's end.

I hope you know that this is Nigeria and not Europe or the US

By the way, why a person will intentionally decide not to have any kids for his/her entire life beats my imagination.

Trust me if you're a Nigerian living in Nigeria and you willingly decide not to have any kids, at some point in the future you will regret that decision!

Check your account first,everything fit still good,one things about kids is that at early age ,they bring good lucks,and also,if you have a job,people see you responsible and might want to help you because of the kid,unlike a single man,work together,it worth it,I have one and and I can tell you that,where no open before for my life,they open

Dtruthspeaker:


Money is not everything but you people never listen

money is not everything.
See your mouth. So he shud give birth to children in poverty?

Dtruthspeaker:


Money is not everything but you people never listen

Okay

Until you know what you really want, don't bring in kids to this world.

durentboi:
money is not everything.
See your mouth. So he shud give birth to children in poverty?

which poor person wants to give birth?

Kobicove:
I hope you know that this is Nigeria and not Europe or the US

By the way, why a person will intentionally decide not to have any kids for his/her entire life beats my imagination.

Trust me if you're a Nigerian living in Nigeria and you willingly decide not to have any kids, at some point in the future you will regret that decision!

Regret how?

What is the gain today in having children when there are no lawful and gainfull jobs to take care of them when they grow?

No decent parent will like to see their children grow up to be bandits, drug dealers, yahoo yahoo and olosho nor hairdresser, barber, carwasher. Nigeria is dead!

Johnmiles11:
Check your account first,everything fit still good,one things about kids is that at early age ,they bring good lucks,and also,if you have a job,people see you responsible and might want to help you because of the kid,unlike a single man,work together,it worth it,I have one and and I can tell you that,where no open before for my life,they open

See, you are talking about using the child's blessings to survive. What about the child's welfare when he grows up and and all his blessings gone because some woman has eaten up his blessing or got her disvirgined and converted to olosho, what about the wellness of the child, in this no lawful and good job era?

Stop being selfish and your child too has a life of intense suffering and death waiting for him in front.

If OP is truly a man judging by the "m" besides the moniker as I am confused by the inconsistencies in grammar between "his siblings in reference to your girlfriend's siblings". Anyway, if you are a man, DINK (Dual Income No Kids) is actually a major disadvantage as a man than as a woman. DINK benefits women more than men because they - women - don't get to contribute their basal quota in marriage but retain their hypergamy. Also, you are still very young as a man to have such thoughts. Furthermore, you never know the future and if you really don't want children (your choice), the best contraceptive is undergoing a vasectomy. As a man below 30, that is a BIG decision to undertake.

A desire not to have children as married couples is perfectly okay, but there are very few black people, regardless of location and nationality, who have gone that route. So that should you tell something about how black people view marriage and children.

Johnmiles11:
Check your account first,everything fit still good,one things about kids is that at early age ,they bring good lucks ,and also,if you have a job,people see you responsible and might want to help you because of the kid,unlike a single man,work together,it worth it,I have one and and I can tell you that,where no open before for my life,they open

How come this good luck has not translated to economic good luck for citizens in Nigeria and elsewhere? How come nations with low fertility rates have better economic good luck than those with high fertility rates? How come Northern Nigeria has a high poverty rate even when they LOVE having plenty of children?

Your experience is best anecdotal and largely cultural.

Verdict: There is no correlation whatsoever between having children and getting good luck.

Dtruthspeaker:


See, you are talking about using the child's blessings to survive. What about the child's welfare when he grows up and and all his blessings gone because some woman has eaten up his blessing or got her disvirgined and converted to olosho, what about the wellness of the child, in this no lawful and good job era?

Stop being selfish and your child too has a life of intense suffering and death waiting for him in front.

sometimes you people don't read,good luck from a child doesn't mean he is giving you money,it actually a blessing from God and then thongs change,if e no better for you,no mean say e no go better for anybody,try wait until you have billions before giving birth and what do you know about child careful,I came from a home where they taught us to be strong and my dad actually opened a good business for me and same I will ensure my child too have the best,if your own mother used your siblings as a sex tools and ate up your blessing,that your own business,my child has her own future and she is already starting it,so good luck to your own life

Johnmiles11:
sometimes you people don't read,good luck from a child doesn't mean he is giving you money,it actually a blessing from God and then thongs change,if e no better for you,no mean say e no go better for anybody,try wait until you have billions before giving birth and what do you know about child careful,I came from a home where they taught us to be strong and my dad actually opened a good business for me and same I will ensure my child too have the best,if your own mother used your siblings as a sex tools and ate up your blessing,that your own business,my child has her own future and she is already starting it,so good luck to your own life

See selishness at its peak. i said blessings and not money. And secondly, you are not the first to say this but funny, you could have a child yet you could not marry the mother, says how much you have control of. the future. But no problem, make a run for it but know that if does not go well, it is on your head.

Don't bring innocent kids into this cold brutal world...life is just a prison of repetitions and pain...

Children are a blessing



Go ahead and have plentiful

Gerrard59:

How come this good luck has not translated to economic good luck for citizens in Nigeria and elsewhere? How come nations with low fertility rates have better economic good luck than those with high fertility rates? How come Northern Nigeria has a high poverty rate even when they LOVE having plenty of children?

Your experience is best anecdotal and largely cultural.

Verdict: There is no correlation whatsoever between having children and getting good luck.

When you went for a job and they gave some people and rejected you are and others, why did the favour of those other people not cover you guys?

Clearly because blessing is personal

Dtruthspeaker:


See selishness at its peak. i said blessings and not money. And secondly, you are not the first to say this but funny, you could have a child yet you could not marry the mother, says how much you have control of. the future. But no problem, make a run for it but know that if does not go well, it is on your head.

like I said,you are actually suffering from broken home,am.actually married with two beautiful kids and like I also said having kids is by choice,if it doesn't work for you,then stay out of it and stop disturbing people that already have,you have to go fix yourself because your foundation is really eating your brain,my children already have land attached to their names and also do I from my father,you see that you donk know anything,nobody is forcing you to have kids and let those that have do what ever they want with their live as long as they didnt come to beg you to feed their family

Johnmiles11:
like I said,you are actually suffering from broken home,am.actually married with two beautiful kids and like I also said having kids is by choice,if it doesn't work for you,then stay out of it and stop disturbing people that already have,you have to go fix yourself because your foundation is really eating your brain,my children already have land attached to their names and also do I from my father,you see that you donk know anything,nobody is forcing you to have kids and let those that have do what ever they want with their live as long as they didnt come to beg you to feed their family

i don't believe you are married. You speak like an unmarried person with big wishes with a child outside. Anyway,When its your head on the gull.

Dtruthspeaker:


i don't believe you are married. You speak like an unmarried person with big wishes with a child outside. Anyway,When its your head on the gull.

you know that you are very stupid,you thing responsibility is an image,I won't be surprised because you that can't even buy bread is talking of child,I know you have failed,like I said,settle your foundation problem,e go help you

Johnmiles11:
you know that you are very stupid,you thing responsibility is an image,I won't be surprised because you that can't even buy bread is talking of child,I know you have failed,like I said,settle your foundation problem,e go help you

See explosion i don catch you You truly are a failure of a man with a child outside who cannot marry hence your need to use your child's blessings. Ole blessing.