Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
,
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my bosoms.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's when I shot the son of BI*TCH ,  

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide pills.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world wud u need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she
needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy -- I can't give you cyanide to kill ur husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail a, nd all kinds of bad things
will happen. Absolutely not, U can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the
pharmacists wife.

The pharmacist looked at the
picture and replied, "Well, now.
You didn't tell me u had a
prescription",

A guy in a hurry used d ladies toilet in a posh hotel.He sat down & noticed 4 buttons- WW,WA,PP & APR. Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed wit WARM WATER, he loved it so much!He den pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, he pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF 2make him smell fresh.Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR, He later woke up in d hospital, a nurse smiled & said;Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER. When the machine couldn't find a pad on u, so it went for ur balls. Ur balls are in dis jar,

kellyknower, , nor vex but i nor dey read jokes again,

A man was going on a trip and the wife packed him clothes in a bag. When he was about2 leave, the wife gave him a box of condoms and said Honey, take this with you, in case of temptations. With a broad smile the husband said,Thanks honey.When he got into his car, his wife came running,Honey leave me some maybe I might also be tempted"And immediately The trip was cancelled.

Hahaaa, It's very good! Big smile

DONkollione:

kellyknower,   , nor vex but i nor dey read jokes again,  

me too, I only post but hate reading them.

^^^

den come mk we go yab ourself for 'yab me i yab u' na

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

5. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

6. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

7. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

8. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.

9. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.

10. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Kertu (FreeTimeJokes)

If am to give you a Christmas gift and the
options are, a BIBLE and a Blackberry Phone
which will you take, pls. send your answers to 07064848s9e 

I'm too blond for this one

FTJokes:

I'm too blond for this one

Blond ke,
no kind of english i no go hear this night!!

Inside joke? I like my english!

mikuz:

Blond ke,
no kind of english i no go hear this night!!

no mind am, make him dey form.

Nice ones kellynoah

@ftjokes,
true!!
Your english is good, no doubt!!
Keep it up!

Agybabe:

Nice ones kellynoah

thanks babylove

i see . . .
Babylove!!!

mikuz:

i see . . .
Babylove!!!

na today u see am?

yes

u are always welcome!

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d