My cousin refused to Prostrate to his inlaw when they where performing the traditional wedding.

He is from Edo and she is Yoruba. He said he will not prostrate to any man except GOD.

The girl's parents refused to give away their daughter for his refusal to prostrate.

Do you think that is right? I know it's the Yoruba culture.

Was he not aware of the culture of the girl he is marrying? stupid guy what will lying down on the floor to take change someone's name for life do him? Let him go and marry oyinbo where he will not do that but where he will have to share same responsibility with the wife in the house, yeye man

I thought it's the woman who takes on the man's culture?

Some cultures worry sha.

Didn't he know what was involved in the ceremony before he agreed to a Yoruba traditional wedding? Why agree to take part in a ceremony and then not do it properly?

They could have had a different style of wedding in the first place if he felt so strongly about it.

I personally will NOT prostrate to anyone, regardless of the circumstances.

@ Siena,

Well marrying a yoruba girl is something you will have to do during the tradition wedding.

Well, my cousin grew up in America, so he is not really used to Nigeria Culture, his fiancee

would have explained the Yoruba culture to him before hand, so he knows what to expect.

This is one reason people don't like marrying from other tribe. Mind you, i am not tribalistic.

he needs to.

he wants to marry a well behaved yoruba girl and he doesnt want to do what culture demands just for a day?

know what my folks wld call diz kind of men? OLE ONIJEKUJE!

minute:

he needs to.

he wants to marry a well behaved yoruba girl and he doesnt want to do what culture demands just for a day?

know what my folks would call diz kind of men? OLE ONIJEKUJE!

abi jare. . .he's marrying into a tribe, then he needs to respect the tribe. stupid boy stupid reason not to marry the girl

Everything about yoruba is complicated.

Hold on, I thought that in Africa, when a woman marries a man, it is she who marries into his culture not the other way around.
Now I hear different, so if a non Yoruba man marries a Yoruba woman, he marries into her culture (in this case), and when a Yoruba man marries a non Yoruba woman, she marries into his culture, is that a correct understanding? So basically whenever someone marries a Yoruba person, the Yoruba culture always dictates?

I had no idea that is how it goes. When is the beliefs of the other person also given space?

in Africa, a woman is married into the man's family. however, the traditional marriage takes place at the girl's home. so the girl's culture comes into play. in life, a man will "climb the highest mountain" to marry the woman he loves. if he really loves this girl, he would have prostrated b4 her parents. period. that is a very simple thing to do and has nothing to do with worship. it is their culture and should be respected.

there xtains in yorubaland and they fall b4 their parents too. it's their culture and if u want to marry their daughter they have a right to test your humility and respectfulness.

if that falls against his own religious belief (i dont believe doing that means u are worshiping the parents) then he has a choice to make . . . . .his religion or his marriage to that girl. . . and he should have made that choice before coming for that wedding.

so either way, the guy was wrong.

and by the way, knowing what guys can do, there's a possibility that the guy don find reason to opt out sef . . . joking pls

Ok, so if a Yoruba man wants to marry a non Yoruba girl, he should conform to the traditions of her tribe, if he really loves her, even if it goes against his own Yoruba culture? Ok, now I get your point.

yes.

at least at the traditional wedding which takes place in the girl's house. if he doesnt like it, for crissake, he can go marry from another tribe. chikena. to respect a tradition for one day aint asking for too much. is it? we come to europe and "dump" our culture, food, lifestyle even language to an extent, etc to survive here why cant we just accept a wife-to-be's culture just for one day, if demanded?

and it's not as if our cultures are too different ooooo

@ Londoner

when a marriage takes place traditionally the girls parents are giving out their daughter. The girls parents are the Host, its on their territory so logically it would be their culture. My sister (Bini) married a Yoruba man the traditional marriage was according to the Bini tradition.

@Poster

I think your cousin is not ready to marry. Lots of Bini's have married yorubas and the postrating has not been a problem. If the lady is worth it then he would have done it. If I was the woman he can just forget it. What kind of public humilation is that. If a bini family was on the receiving end of that insult the man would have a hard time getting anyone to give me a second chance and if he gets it he would be well humbled.

the dude is a clown, so because he doesn't want to prostrate he decided not to marry the girl?

Why should he refuse/ Doesn't he respect his parents? or he respects 'only GOD' too?

Prostrating is nothing more than a mode of greeting, I prostrated (or did some variant of it) every day for my parents, and I knew I wasn't worshiping them or anything.

I agree with Toshmann, the boy had been looking for a way out of the whole matter, and seized on this to call the whole thing off

Its not really conforming to anything as such, its just playing out a role in the Marriage Ceremony, you do it for one day, even less and its over.

from the way the poster said it, he refused on the day, at the actual traditional wedding! The girl should be happy she did not marry such an intransigent and unaccommodating fellow, If a few seconds inconvenience are enough for you to call of a wedding, in future he might decide that he cannot love any woman, 'only GOD' or cannot give any human money only GOD or some other excuse.

Poor communication!

I blame both of them. They are not supposed to be married - they're just like little kids.

Why didn't they have a discussion about all the details of the ceremony before the D-day?

I blame the girl more. The poster said the guy was unaware of the culture since he grew up abroad. The girl should have educated him on the basics of Yoruba culture.

the Edo guy must be stupid. . whats wrong with prostrating

londoner:

I thought it's the woman who takes on the man's culture?

many culture the man takes the womans cultural traditions.

The guy is a coward cos the prostration is only once dis days unlike b4 dat u do it up to 5 times

ok im sorry. what exactly is this prostrate?

agathamari:

ok im sorry. what exactly is this prostrate?

My dear its when a boy/man in the Yoruba culture lies flat on the floor as a sign of respect

I have a yoruba friend. went to her house on thanxgivin and the mom told me after i greeted them that i should prostrate. Hell naw

he needs to.

he wants to marry a well behaved yoruba girl and he doesnt want to do what culture demands just for a day?

know what my folks wld call diz kind of men? OLE ONIJEKUJE!

What if your brother is marrying into a culture that demands he gets flogged 50x or the girls family requests he makes sacrifices to their local god, will you ask him to do that just for a day?.

What if your husband's family demands you dance naked beside their shrine at night just to complete your marital rituals, will you do it as a christian?

" I have a Yoruba friend"

"I have Yoruba in-laws"

"I lived and was born in Yorubaland"

"I'm dating a Yoruba girl/guy"

"My papa and brothers own property in Lagos Yorubaland"

"I speak a Yoruba language"

LOL @ Tpia, so true

It's not flogging 50 times, neither is it a shrine, its merely dobale,prostrating. Unless he has a bad back or its against edo religion to prostrate then he clearly didn't love the girl enough.

Was he not aware of the culture of the girl he is marrying? stupid guy what will lying down on the floor to take change someone's name for life do him? Let him go and marry oyinbo where he will not do that but where he will have to share same responsibility with the wife in the house, yeye man

Dbisi,
Thank you o jare, if he didn't like the culture, why didn't he go and marry an oyinbo?

I like the man o jare. I agree 100%. Why does he have to get his clothes dirty for her parents to feel respected. Africa and so called tradition

You mustn't touch the ground for your prostration to become valid. If he wants, he can still prostrate without getting dirty.

Outstrip:

I like the man o jare. I agree 100%. Why does he have to get his clothes dirty for her parents to feel respected. Africa and so called tradition

It's courtesy and the brides family has every right to demand it, and for ur information their are mats on the floor and they only get to prostrate once unlike before when it was five times and if anybody doesnt like it they should leave us Yoruba's the f**k alone

And so after he has prostrated what does it do for the girl's family. Do they now have everlasting life and peace of mind? Mscheeeeew

udezue:

I have a yoruba friend. went to her house on thanxgivin and the mom told me after i greeted them that i should prostrate. Hell naw

ROTFLMAO!!! Men the greeting should be enough.