Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

If not that you said your life has scattered I would have love to...

Why do u want ur son to be around an addict, you know better than them, the decision is yours


If your husband na addict true true ni o...

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

You go explain tire. Na Kobojunkie get una time.

Addicted to what ?

If na drink stay with him

But if na Gambling run and don't look back.

If na drugs , his gone , walking zombie 🧟‍♂️.


Stay calm and decide your children future.

lazkizz:
Addicted to what ? If na drink stay with him But if na Gambling run and don't look back. If na drugs , his gone , walking zombie 🧟‍♂️. Stay calm and decide your children future.

Why is alcohol addiction OK, abeg? Addiction no be addiction again?

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

Women, as d man no blow, u want to run. But d addiction was there still u decided to marry him. It's for better for worst. U made d decision to marry, u made d decision to have only two kids, d ball is in ur court.

You better run and take your children with you for their own safety.

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

Nonsense and low thinker.

You think your brother can love you like your husband do?
You think your brother can father another man's children?
What is the addiction?


Single motherhood is never the best option. go and verify from Annie Macaulay and the likes.

Provided your husband is not beating or handling you rough, stay put.

Landlords have stop renting their properties out to single mother oo

If what you describe about your husband is true, I agree he needs help. He should seek help as quickly as possible. I agree you might want to give him some space for now while he seek helps so that your children don't learn his addiction as normal.

I don't agree with your brother trying to prevent your husband having access to his children or sounding like he wants you to abandon your husband at his lowest point.

You and the children can go with your brother for now while your husband gets help. Then keep in touch with your husband on the progress of his treatment and rehabilitation

Don't

Helpout12345:
If what you describe about your husband is true, I agree he needs help. He should seek help as quickly as possible. I agree you might want to give him some space for now while he seek helps so that your children don't learn his addiction as normal.

I don't agree with your brother trying to prevent your husband having access to his children or sounding like he wants you to abandon your husband at his lowest point.

You and the children can go with your brother for now while your husband gets help. Then keep in touch with your husband on the progress of his treatment and rehabilitation

Op. This is what I will suggest too.

Abeg run 300million meters away from him

silibaba:


Nonsense and low thinker.

You think your brother can love you like your husband do?
You think your brother can father another man's children?
What is the addiction?


Single motherhood is never the best option. go and verify from Annie Macaulay and the likes.

Provided your husband is not beating or handling you rough, stay put.

Landlords have stop renting their properties out to single mother oo

na best advice be this. Which type of addiction is that?

Any form of addiction is a serious problem that need attention.
I'm worried for the children. I pray the Lord heal you and direct you in the right way to go

You can watch one of my videos on addiction on YouTube as well.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEW1_YjH79M?si=POy8rdRkh4tbrJEt

silibaba:


Nonsense and low thinker.

You think your brother can love you like your husband do?
You think your brother can father another man's children?
What is the addiction?


Single motherhood is never the best option. go and verify from Annie Macaulay and the likes.

Provided your husband is not beating or handling you rough, stay put.

Landlords have stop renting their properties out to single mother oo

Stop saying nons.ense. if it were to be a woman doing this to her husband, would you have said the same thing?

A man who loves his wife wouldn't involve himself in a lifestyle that brings schame and disgrace to his family. What kind of husband can not pay for house rent, school fees and you still expect her to stay with him.
@op, listen very attentively to your big brother. He loves you more.
Addict hardly change. That's the truth

Your brother who has been taking care of your rent, school fees and upkeep (none of which are his responsibilities at all but the responsibilities of your husband who has refused to do them) has more than tried, and you should be appreciative that he's still looking out for you and your kids, hence his plan for you and them to relocate. As you've been enduring your husband's addiction for five years now, you and your kids moving away from him is the best thing for you can do for yourselves now. Your husband will not change and you don't want your kids to start following his footsteps or end up like him. As your brother is paying for the rent of the house your husband lives in, amongst all your other financial responsibilities that he's catering for, while your husband spends his own money on rubbish, I'm sure he also finds that absurd.

You better listen to your brother - follow his plan and let him relocate you and your kids, and don't give your husband any access to you or your whereabouts either. If I were him and you don't listen, I would wash my hands off your matter too. It seems you want to live in penury and it's your kids I feel sorry for, so you better have sense and take this opportunity to do right by yourself and your kids.

Please do, run away from your husband and land in another man’s bed and have freedom to explore without restrictions, na your kuntus go hear ram

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

This is a tough decision, I can see you still love your husband. I hope things get better. Your big brother has a point too

This is purely your business.

You better listen to your big bros. To help you decide, create a thread on nairaland and ask for financial help and see if anyone can support you like he is doing. SAPA is not beans o… you better choose wisely.

I'm a man of God and I can see things already. Your husband is being troubled spiritually I wouldn't want to say somethings here. It would be better your husband doesn't go to the village mark my word if he goes to the village you won't ever see him alive again. Mark my word.


I understand the sacrifice your brother is making but he should never be the one to scatter your marriage, if he ever do that God will deal with him seriously.


As far he's not fighting you which I won't allow, please don't leave him, you're his saving grace, only prayers can save him right now, you must stand in his gap and intercede for him and he'll be okay. You can reach out to me in prayers and support.


Your brother should keep assisting you and the kids God will reward him greatly later in life. Show him my message, God will use this situation to enlarge him but he should never allow anger to destroy his sister marriage. Please screenshot this message and show him.

All the enemy wants is to destroy and kill your husband, the very moment you abandon him that would be his end.


NB: I saw a vision for you, apart from your husband being disturb spiritually, your husband was a bad man at time in his life, look for money cook his favorite meal on Saturday (do this only on Saturday) after he's done eating ask what evil he did to someone some years back that anytime he remember it he always feel so bad about it, if your husband can confess this particular sin and you pray for him he's be perfectly okay. That addition spirit will be gone immediately.


The enemy is using that sin as a gateway to torment his life. Do this and quote me again on this thread with a testimony.


If he refused to confess the sin to you, then you'll have to intercede for the mercies of God for him and I'll join in prayers.

Godblessme1:
➜I'm a man of God and I can see things already. Your husband is being troubled spiritually I wouldn't want to say somethings here. It would be better your husband doesn't go to the village mark my word if he goes to the village you won't ever see him alive again. Mark my word.
I understand the sacrifice your brother is making but he should never be the one to scatter your marriage, if he ever do that God will deal with him seriously. As far he's not fighting you which I won't allow, please don't leave him, you're his saving grace, only prayers can save him right now, you must stand in his gap and intercede for him and he'll be okay. You can reach out to me in prayers and support.
Your brother should keep assisting you and the kids God will reward him dearly. Show him my message, God will use this situation to enlarge him but he should never allow anger to destroy his sister marriage. Please screenshot this message and show him. All the enemy wants is to destroy and kill your husband, the very moment you abandon him that would be his end.

Stop telling lies and stop trying to deceive the OP with meaningless talk with which to entrap her.

Kobojunkie:
Stop telling lies and stop trying to deceive the OP with meaningless talk with which to entrap her.

I don't argue with kids like you on this forum. You people live with your parents and doesn't know how life works. To hell with you and your likes on this forum advising a woman to leave her husband because of life challenges.


Don't worry when yours comes soon people will advise your wife to leave you. Go mark my word.


Even if the lady decide not to do all I told her she should follow her heart to make any decision so if it ever goes wrong she'll learn from it and move on without regrets because it's her choice and decision.


I pity kids like you on this forum y'all don't know what's life. And don't ever in your life quote me don't let me lay curses on you because you'll live to regret it.

I'm a man of God. Don't ever quote me again.

Godblessme1:
➜I don't argue with kids like you on this forum. You people live with your parents and doesn't know how life works. To hell with you and your likes on this forum advising a woman to leave her husband because of life challenges. Don't worry when yours comes soon people will advise your wife to leave you. Go mark my word. Even if the lady decide not to do all I told her she should follow her heart to make any decision so if it ever goes wrong she'll learn from it and move on without regrets because it's her choice and decision. I pity kids like you on this forum y'all don't know what's life. And don't ever in your life quote me don't let me lay curses on you because you'll live to regret it. I'm a man of God. Don't ever quote me again.

Stop lying!

Savingrace678:
Hello nairalanders, pls I need matured mind on this.
I created this account to post this.

My marriage has been stressful and draining.
I have really suffered if not for the help of my elderest brother, we would have died by now.
My husband has been in addiction since we got married 5yrs ago. that has never allowed him to take care of us. In 5yr we married, he has changed More than 5 jobs all wasted effort. We have two twine children. A boy and a girl. 4urs.
His addiction has been the reason I never want to have another child ever since then.

Right now my husband's uncle, a father figured to him has invited him to come home to the village, so they can advise him and my elderest brother has asked me to pack my things and the children, as soon as my husband left for the village, he will relocate us and my husband will not have access to us again.
And he said, if I declined, he will take his hand off my matter. He has been the one taking care of our rent, school fees and upkeep as my husband's money goes to addiction.

My fear now is, my children are so used to their father and I'm afraid if they can cop without their father. Especially my son.
Secondly, I'm so scared that I don't know how I'm going to handle more brokness in my life
My life is so scattered right now.
And lastly, I don't want my brother to take off his hands off me. He's the only person helping me out with my mistake.

You didn't mention the type of addiction he is into. But I will take it that he is into the popular type of addiction these days - hard drugs addiction. Most likely because it affects his jobs. In this situation, your elder brother is not just your financial help, he is also an advisory help. Let him relocate you and your children ASAP. Being in poverty is worse than sustaining a father-son bond. Your husband needs help and he needs it as soon as possible. Encourage his uncle and family to treat him. But untill then, for your life to have meaning, you need to separate from him for at least 8 months so he can get himself. If he is a better person, you can accept him back else you move on with your life.
Drug addiction destroys families.

floss:
Please do, run away from your husband and land in another man’s bed and have freedom to explore without restrictions, na your kuntus go hear ram

Low-grade gaslighting, a poor attempt to guilt trip.

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying!

Godblessme1:


I'm a man of God. Don't ever quote me again.

Make two of you should enter boxing ring 😂

Follow your brother's advice.

silibaba:


Nonsense and low thinker.

You think your brother can love you like your husband do?
You think your brother can father another man's children?
What is the addiction?


Single motherhood is never the best option. go and verify from Annie Macaulay and the likes.

Provided your husband is not beating or handling you rough, stay put.

Landlords have stop renting their properties out to single mother oo

you're dumb if you think her brother wouldn't love her far more and better than the addiction husband. You're more dumber if you think people hasn't raised other people's children successfully. You're even more dumbest if you think single mothers don't get accommodation.

Nonsense post,you did not know that he was an addict when you open your your leg for him. Leave that bastard and go.

My own advise is you should find a way to reduce your level of dependency be it husband or brother. Your brother has been responsible for your upkeep under your husband's roof says you should leave that toxic environment, you pack your bags and gtf out of that environment, that could be the turning point your husband needs to put a stop to his addiction habit.

Is this another marriage or the same one we read about some time ago ?


A similar addiction story and leaving was once read here.