There is nothing wrong with that my dear, find time and have hot sex with him,after all sex is nothing but a few minutes of get together behind the door,after this you will see you both do not love each other,and each will face his or her marriage,experience they say is the best teacher.

So find him grab him and Bleep him hard,pls do it fast before you go crazy.

CC is absolutely right about the needs of a woman for love and attention but then to search somewhere else while still married is the wrong approach because that way you only get taken advantage of. One needs to end one relationship and give time to heal and win back self esteem before jumping into another one. Remember too that a man that woos you in another mans house and ends up having a relationship with you will always see you as being unfaithful to him even if he ends u marrying you. How can there be any thrust. I have seen so many cases of "family friends" where there was some adultery involved and believe you me that it is a very nasty experience not just for the couples but also for the children involved. These kids became friends, the friendship last into adulthood and somewhere along the line they find out that "my daddy was bleeping your mum". It leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.

EDFR

chaircover:

Hmmmmmmmm

All the men are saying “don’t do it” “run away” and so on, but please let us learn from this and apply it to our own relationships.

It’s not just good enough as a man to have a 12 inch something (excuse my lewdness) or just good enough to give her heaps of soup money and buy her a jeep and think that you are done in making your woman happy or fulfilled.

Women need companionship, we need affection, we need our hubbys to notice and comment on our new hairstyle, we need someone to listen to us even if its just about Eastenders or pop Idol, we need our partners to be our best buddy’s and of course we need your time & your respect.

We need to be touched (not just in bed), we need to be loved, we like surprises; Its so nice when occasionally I come home and find a card that has been posted to me from him, I love it when he sits by me on the sofa and pretends to watch Nollywood even though I know he isn’t really watching it, I love it when he teases me and plays pranks on me. I love it when we undo my braids together even though he tangles the thing up. I love it when we share private jokes and so on.

What am I saying, no doubt us women are complex beings (even I don’t understand myself sometimes) but we all want to be loved & appreciated and when we get that, no one, not even Van Vicker can get into any gap and take her away from you; So be her hero & be her own private celebrity.

Okay I said so on page 1 though

Well blaming you is unwise coz you are dacing with nature, but what you need do is not to compare him with Ūя̲̅ husband! Wen that crips in surely ‎​ know you give in to anything

silentc:

Do you guys know that lady winona's husband beats her? At least more than once. I was really curious on her case and read a post of hers in sept 2011 which explains what happened as per the beating (see link below and scroll down to her post)

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-758548.32.html

Do you wonder why she is developing feelings for another man? I dont condone a man beating a woman no matter what, but i think she should end her marriage respectfully before moving on to another man.

While what she is doing is not right and she should sort out her marriage (ending it or solving its issues), i thought this fact might be useful as we give her advice.

She has said her Hubby hurt her before, so doesn't need to go into further much details, hence reason i told her she had not forgiven him completely even though he is back on his best behaviour and this is what she needs to work on, which she would not be able to do with her colleague still in the picture. . .

ma sister if you are a christian am sure you have read the scriptures which says flee all appearances of evil. it usually starts as subtle harmless feelings but that s how it all starts.
you as a married woman have no business having male friends whether married or single, don't destroy your marriage.

@Lady_Winona

Shit happens, most people here are singles so they cant just understand what you are talking about. They assume that when you are married, your feelings die but it is not so.One just keeps control that's just it.And at times things tend to get out of hand.The best thing is to stay away from each other as much as possible.Talk to yourself  and see the truth cos at end of the all show when things burst to the open you are the one that will loose out, i assure you that the guys wife will forgive him and move on but your husband will find it difficult to.If your husband does not even tell you to leave his house, guilt might not allow you to stay and i am sure you don't want divorce cause it is not the best thing on the long run for your kids and yourself even your husband.

What i think is that you are not getting as much attention from your husband as you need, so try and find away to communicate your need to your husband.See ehn my sister their is no point getting attracted to this other guy cos men are basically the same.You will be shocked this guy does not give his wife at home attention too. He might just have a picture of what you want in a man which is what you are loving but the truth is, it is just a shadow and you cant just allow yourself cos you cant get too intimate with everyone that you have feelings for .

Please be guided o.The disadvantages and pains are far more than the benefit which is fleeting.How would your kids and loved ones feel if they find out ?

In-case big_bumper's story below is true, please learn to treat your husband with much respect also try and maintain some calm when he is angry.It is not the best time to start arguing or proving yourself right.The truth is for you to enjoy marriage successfully, you have to learn to let go of some of your rights for your husband.Men are better at ease with women that respect them and can play with them ( there is a baby that wants to be fondled in every man). Take your time to understand him. The truth is men are not as difficult as women think. Massage and respect his ego after all he is the man of the house.

Lastly i will encourage you to be prayerful.talk to God about what you want in your husband and he will do it. AAlso pray to him to help you get over this other man in your office cos the bond or feeling might be so strong at times that you will need God to help you at times.

I wish you all the best in your marriage and in Life.

@onyxo76. Yes o.

It comes in subtly but you gast to encourage yourself to let go. The truth is, it isnt worth it at all. A man most often will not leave his family for any woman.So woman don't be deceived when he tells you his wife isnt good enough.

This is one of the reasons i love Nairaland. It's a place where one can share and draw from one's experience. My husband started beating me when i was 5 months pregnant with our first child. I left him thinking he would come and apologise but he didn't. Worse, his mom and dad supported him and at a point my parents started singing along d same tune, all telling me it.s part of marriage and i should learn to forgive. I did just that. The second beating is one that I'll never forget, his hands on my neck strangling d life out of me, the slaps, kicking all wit my kids screaming at him to stop, which he didn't for well over an hour. I was kicked out to sleep by d staircase before phonecalls were made by my dad to forgive yet again presuming it's my fault i led my husband to such level of anger. The next day, i called a lawyer, telling him i wanted to know d law's stand on wife battery. I never got my answer, rather he went on to tell me how Jesus loves me and how i should endure and have patience cos he'll will change. Well, he didn't. I got beat up in the same gruesome pattern wit him taunting me that i can do nothing about it and that if i didn't like it, i can pack my things and leave to my parents' house where i will be forever scorned by my relatives n shamed for having a failed marriage. I called a different lawyer this time, one who didn't know me and was involved in abuse to women. She adviced me that my husband will never stop his abusive behaviour till i do something about it, encouraging me to report it to d police. It was when i was preparing my schedule to do just dt about 3 weeks ago, that my husband in his usual rage was about to hit me but this time, i had locked myself in one of the rooms wit d kids and refused to open d door. He told me that my option was to either open d door or pack my things and get out of his house d next day. I chose d later. It.s been 3 weeks now, i'm in my parents' house. I am in a state of trying to forge a life for myself and my kids. I know d future will be rocky but i'm determined to face it and conquer it for all it.s worth. If there's anything dt gives me any confidence at all, it is that i'm well educated and have a job that gives me about a quarter of a million naira a month which wit the coming years can only get higher. As 4 reconciliation, if it does happen, then there'll be some ground rules but for now, let's face each day at a time.

This was the OP's post in september 2011. As that time, she was away from her matrimonial home. I see! Most women would fall into your shoes. I hope you know that you are no longer having any affection for your husband bust for this stranger that is why you are now able to tolerate your husband's excesses.

Go ahead, divorce your husband before plunging urself into the sh.i.t!

@ Op do what your heart tells you to do and what's in your best interest of yourself and your kids, I never tell people to leave their husbands, but research has shown that with physical abusers most women that stay do end up leaving eventually in a BODY BAG, so weight your options. IS their a counsellor you guys can possibly see? Your husband has a problem with anger and he needs counselling to overcome it. OP my heart goes out to you.

OKAY beatings and being sent packing in September 2011 the last time.
Madam when did you meet lover boy and since when has this been going on?
Was that why your husband was beating you?
Abeg late twenties with kids that talk and earning so well, just curious how that works?

Interesting keep it coming am learning somethings 4 future use

Its just a question of time, those two will sleep with each other eventually.

Its a road we have traveled before and l will tell you that only your wife/husband can help you overcome this kind of challenge!

Now, it depends if your husband or wife is matured enough to see that you "are seeking genuine help" to overcome a situation you find difficult to handle alone. I hope he or she would not get overly suspicious and condemning!

I always tell people that the greatest source of power in a tempting sexual encounter, is your spouse.
But it i a dangerous step to take if your spouse is not the very matured (in mind,not age) type.

Speak to your husband first, tell him you're "fighting a challenge because you're his wife and your faithfulness is 100% to him".
He will be "very alert and probing" but let him know that you're just trying to take "pre-emptive action" and that nothing serious has happened, knowing that both of you work in the same office!

My guy can decide to look for another work for you pronto!

On the other hand, if l were your husband, and you needed my help,
*l will ask you to invite him to our house and l will lay it bare on the table and task him: "How would you feel if l have an affair or slept with your wife?
He will be embarrassed first but that would force him to think.

*I would also ask his wife how she will feel if my wife slept with his husband?

*I would demand answers.

*I would then tell them to ask us the same question and we are obliged to answer them.

*I will then tell them that as "family friends now" we must no do anything that might hurt anyone of us.

*I would ask that we remain very PLATONIC FRIENDS and always be on the look out for ourselves (interest).

We will have lunch and depart on a jovial note.

I will then call the guy confidentially and apologize to him (to assuage his ego and not turn him into an enemy of my wife in the office) and ask that he understands why that discussion has to happen at my prompting.

MEN usually get over that kind of blushing very quickly.

I will also tell my wife to ensure that their discussion does not get intimate and personal henceforth, so that sexual feelings would not be aroused.

With time, l would remove the 'devil' away from the 'cookie' jar by looking for another job for either of the two!

Make una no vex o, na my style of doing things be that o!

Lastpage

BTW: I have finished tying all those poo before realizing the Op's marriage was in shambles already!
I thought they still had feelings for each other! Anyway, that being the case, teh above would not even come-up. Impossicant!
Try if possible, to find a way to resolve the "beating problem".
Dont want to apportion blame but like they say, "it takes two to tango".
The Yorubas will say "Kind words deflate anger while harsh words infuriates"

Maybe the husband is jut one of those slowpokes that is a brute, very aggressive and a bully. If that is the case, it will take extreme patience on your part to mend your marriage otherwise, the only option is to "separate" (did no say divorce o!) for a while an see whether absence will bring back the fire (except that you want to use the absence for side-show, which will actually kill the fire patapata!)
Goodluck

I think I can imagine what the OP's thoughts are. You must be wondering: how and why should my husband be treating me like garbage when this other guy treats me like a queen?

It is a complex issue but you need to address it. Tell your husband when he is sober that you don't want to stay with him only because you are afraid of the unknown but because of the best of him that you saw when you said yes to his marriage proposal. Ask him if he can make an effort to treat you decently?

I know it is difficult and I empathise but you MUST cut the other guy of immediately! Do you think your husband wouldn't have seen the Chemistry developing when you initiated the idea of the man visiting your home? You might be fuelling the insecurity that he seeks to overcome by being violent with you.

Women should know that it is wrong to initiate entry of another man into your home for whatever reason outside your relatives and workmen that you may need for home maintenance and repairs. Even those should be invited only with the consent of your husband.

I know in today's world where Feminist Movement advocates will tell you otherwise- this things seem stupid but they will help a great deal in most husbands being under your 'control' (for lack of a better word).

Women have to learn to STOOP TO CONQUER!

Hmmmmm, what you don't realize already is that you are having an emotional affair already. My advice is that you should not continue with such a friendship, it will only end up hurting you and your marriage. It is better not to make the mistake at all than live in regret.
Pray and God will help you to be strong. All the best to you.

Poster,I agree that your hubby treats you bad and even beats shegge into you but this isn't really the best way to address it,flying from frying pan to fire,
I know it is sweet when someone finally notices how pretty and hot you are,how good it is to have someone listen to you,someone who seems to really understand you but you need to think of this man's wife and put yourself in her shoes.Imagine when he gets home and all he's thinking of is coming back to the office to talk to you?The same lack of attention cycle will be going on in her home all because of you.Inviting them to your home isn't a sign of innocence or honesty,it is a way to soothe yourself and rid your mind of guilt.
Get rid of this guy and address the problems in your home first.If you are tired of the panel beater,get a clean break.If you are found out,you have only handed your husband the ammunition to justify the things he has done to you.Why hand him that power freely?
  It is best to do things with dignity.Something that seems so harmless could snowball into an inferno.
  Why don't you befriend women who share the same ideals with you,who will pray with you and advise you.Some girlfriends are worth their weight in gold oo.

Please spare yourself the heartache and meanwhile,next time your hubby tries to beat you just aim for his b*a*l*l*s.A swift kick or a very firm and painful grip will silence him for a while (i am not condoning violence oo) but you have to protect yourself.i will not tell you to stay or leave,you are the only one that can fix this.
Always remember that your children are watching and this will be a marker as to how the girls will allow men treat them and the boys will treat women(in most cases).

well in my own opinion i do not see any harm in making friends with the opposite sex married or not. But if u knw u can control ur emotions regarding dis guy then why not? I support u. Though most pple might disagree with me

when u go start u no go know

Naija peeps and their ‘religious advice’

Upon all this ‘preaching’ there are couples shagging their brains out with other people’s spouses.

Back to topic though, I am quite amazed at how grown folk are now so ‘weak’ that they are now pretty much guaranteed to sleep with anyone that even bats an eyelid at them, married folk no less!

There is a lot of unwise commentary here though - anyone who thinks their wife/husband will meet ALL of their companionship/friendship needs is either not married or is living in delusion.

Yes you need to set boundaries in relationships, but you don’t cut off anyone simply because you have felt attraction for them - if men posting here are honest, that would mean speaking to no one but your wife and the most fugly woman on the street.

All this is dependent on the individual - if you’re the attraction = shagging type, then by all means take evasive action. If you have brain cells active beyond those that scream sex alone, then you can act differently. This is all about self awareness.

In this particular case, she needs to decide if she wants to remain with the abusive hubby and not engage in delusion. If your hubby is abusive, seeing him in a ‘better light’ will not prevent the slaps when they come.

As for the ‘saint’ friend in the office, he’s a green snake under the green grass - any married man that has to say ‘don’t worry I won’t hurt you’ has already gotten too close in the first place. Do you tell your ‘ordinary’ female friends such things?

If the posted story about the beatings are true, them madam OP, you need to stop fooling yourself and accept that you married a beast and a monster AND flee for your life while you still have it. Abi you want to die because of a man? I already mentioned this in my previous post without knowing the history of him beating you. Who cares what people will say if you divorce, they can go to he.ll. If he went to that extent of strangling you and battering you straight for 1hr, it shows he has no control over his rage. You are lucky you survived that ordeal, you may not survive the next. You don’t need to go to your parents' house because they will pressure you to go back. Stay on your own with the kids. Leave NOW. Sorry, but I have to be blunt.

In the meantime, forget about this office guy. You need to be free of marital commitments and have a clear head before entering another relationship. You shouldn’t leave your husband for another man (for reasons I previously stated), you should leave for yourself.

God be with you.

ileobatojo:

If the posted story about the beatings are true, them madam OP, you need to stop fooling yourself and accept that you married a beast and a monster AND flee for your life while you still have it. Abi you want to die because of a man? I already mentioned this in my previous post without knowing the history of him beating you. Who cares what people will say if you divorce, they can go to he.ll. If he went to that extent of strangling you and battering you straight for 1hr, it shows he has no control over his rage. You are lucky you survived that ordeal, you may not survive the next. You don’t need to go to your parents' house because they will pressure you to go back. Stay on your own with the kids. Leave NOW. Sorry, but I have to be blunt.

In the meantime, forget about this office guy. You need to be free of marital commitments and have a clear head before entering another relationship. You shouldn’t leave your husband for another man (for reasons I previously stated), you should leave for yourself.

God be with you.

i second you save that i dont think he is a beast, he's just a human being like you too save dat he got some issues to be bating a woman

Naija peeps and their ‘religious advice’

Upon all this ‘preaching’ there are couples sleeping-with their brains out with other people’s spouses.

Back to topic though, I am quite amazed at how grown folk are now so ‘weak’ that they are now pretty much guaranteed to sleep with anyone that even bats an eyelid at them, married folk no less!

There is a lot of unwise commentary here though - anyone who thinks their wife/husband will meet ALL of their companionship/friendship needs is either not married or is living in delusion.

Yes you need to set boundaries in relationships, but you don’t cut off anyone simply because you have felt attraction for them - if men posting here are honest, that would mean speaking to no one but your wife and the most fugly woman on the street.

All this is dependent on the individual - if you’re the attraction = sleeping-with type, then by all means take evasive action. If you have brain cells active beyond those that scream sex alone, then you can act differently. This is all about self awareness.

In this particular case, she needs to decide if she wants to remain with the abusive hubby and not engage in delusion. If your hubby is abusive, seeing him in a ‘better light’ will not prevent the slaps when they come.

GBAM!!!!

from Plaetton

@mpmp:
Pls dont pretend that you do not understand human nature and the dynamics of opposite sex attraction. All your talk of "proffesionally handled" is hogwash, sorry to say.
What is professional about a lady who is feeling itchy for a phallus that is not of her husband's ,and a suave player eager to score an empty net goal? Oh pls.

The lady is already deep into adultery as it is morally and legally defined. She should stop now or forever regret it. Pls ask your selves this: Would this guy love and respect his wife if he found out that his wife was doing what the op is currently doing? NO! After he gets his fill of what he wants(and that would depend on whether he finds it satisfying enough), I can assure you that he would loose all respect her the Op. She would stand humiliated and ashamed.

@madam winona
I am wondering of the above part in bold is true?

If Yes, you berra run o, or berra still,

the next time your husband walks in from work, strip and get down on the sitting room carpet. Maybe that will take your mind off someone else!

ha ha.


will that work i wonder.

I didn't expect this to happen. I have heard that it does happen but I never thought it could happen to me. I won't say my marriage is perfect, in truth, it is far from it and we are still trying to make it work but in between all of that, I never knew how much I missed being paid attention to, until I met this colleague of mine at work. (Madam, Go and make your marriage to work by obeying the scriptures, Respect your husband to the core, be submissive to the core and deligently perform your role as a wife; stop quarelling, competing, contending,argueing and making troubles with your husband) -  Now, I am not doing anything amoral with him, but I find myself getting increasingly fond of him and him of me.- (Create more time to be with your husband you will only get the best of your husband in your marriage if you obey the scriptures- If you had married this man that you are falling in love with currently, you will certainly have the same or worst challenges you are having in your marriage now. So, stop chassing Satanic and Demonic shadows- BE A TRUE WIFE AT HOME TO YOUR HUSBAND AND BE SUBMISSIVE AND RESPECTFUL ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK- IF YOU RESPECT YOUR MAN AND WORSHIP HIM TO THE CORE, YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE HEAVEN ON EARTH) .- He is married as well and we both are aware that we can't afford to hurt people around us, still, we cannot help but see each other everyday, no matter how little the time. We talk as friends do but we need not even do that as staying in each other's presence is enough to make me feel content and happy-(SATANIC FRIENDSHIP TRAP- RUN FROM IT- PLEASE DELETE HIS NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE AND STOP GIVING HIM ATTENTION, AVOID HIM LIKE A PLAGUE BEFORE THE DEVIL RUIN YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY. YOU CAN GREET HIM NORMALLY, BUT AVOID 30SECS DISCUSSION WITH HIM, I SAY AGAIN, AVOID HIM LIKE A PLAGUE).- I do not want to break up anyone's marriage and neither do I want to give up on mine. I just want to know from married people in the house who are older and more experienced than I am whether it's ok to have a close friend that you have feelings for, but not willing to cross the line but just to have him as close to u as u can just for the sheer fact he makes you happy- (SUCH FRIENDSHIP CAN NEVER END IN HAPPINESS, BUT IN SORROW AND REGREET- NEVER THINK THIS MAN IS BETTER THAN YOUR HUSBAND OR CAN MAKE YOU HAPPIER THAN YOUR HUSBAND. GO AND MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE TO WORK- TURN YOUR HUSBAND TO YOUR KING AT HOME, AND SEE THE MIRACLES THAT WILL HAPPEN IN YOUR FAMILY- DONT BE TOO PROUD TO RESPECT AND BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND, TURN YOUR HUSBAND TO YOUR KING AND HE WILL BECOME THE BEST MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD TO YOU,ALSO YOU WILL EXPIRIENCE HEAVEN WITH HIM ON EARTH) . - To dissuade myself from any feelings of guilt, I have made efforts to have him visit my family with his wife, I have equally told my husband about him and I just want to know whether I'm getting it right or just in denial. (AHHHH, THIS IS DANGER- TOTALLY DISASSOCIATE YOURSELF AND FAMILY FROM THIS MAN. AVOID HIM LIKE A PLAGUE AND INFORM YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT IT. TELL THAT DISTRUCTIVE MAN IN QUESTION NOT TO VISIT YOUR HOUSE AGAIN) - I am ranting but I couldn't sleep and needed to get this out there so that you all can help me deliberate on this and help me make up my mind. Thank you for your understanding- ( MY SISTER, AVOID HIM LIKE A PLAGUE AND THE FEELINGS YOU HAVE FOR HIM WILL DIE- IF HE COMES NEAR YOU, IGNORE HIM; AVOID DISCUSSION WITH HIM UNLESS IF NECCESSARY AND MAXIMUM OF 30SEC; DELETE HIS NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE; DONT GO IN THE SAME DIRECTION WITH HIM OR ENTER THE SAME CAR WITH HIM, DEAL WITH HIM FORMALLY- I SAY AGAIN AVOID HIM LIKE A PLAGUE AND RUN AWAY FROM HIM LIKE JOSEPH IN THE BIBLE).


FINALLY PRAY AND FAST AND ASK THE LORD TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS.TURN YOUR HUSBAND TO YOUR KING, RESPECT HIM TO THE CORE, BE SUBMISSIVE TO HIM TO THE CORE, OBEY HIM TO THE CORE; THEN YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BECOME HEAVEN ON EARTH AND YOU WILL EXPERIENCE PEACE, JOY AND LOVE IN YOUR FAMILY. ALSO, GO FOR HONEY MOON AT INTERVALS WITHIN THE YEAR WITH YOUR HUSBAND. REPORT YOURSELF TO YOUR HUSBAND AND REPENT GENUINELY; ALSO GO TO YOUR PASTOR WITH YOUR HUSBAND TO PRAY FOR YOU. THE SIN OF ADULTERY IS GRIEVOUS BEFORE THE LORD. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

REMAIN BLESSED.

Lady Winona, there is nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex, but obviously this is a little more than friendship otherwise you won't be posting this on Nairaland.

I don't see a need for you to request a transfer or leave the job. Just make sure you are not spending too much time with him; and don't ever be alone with him in a private location. Also, you may need to find good friends of the same sex who can provide you with the same type of companionship this guys is providing, Good luck.

It’s not just good enough as a man to have a 12 inch something (excuse my lewdness) or just good enough to give her heaps of soup money and buy her a jeep and think that you are done in making your woman happy or fulfilled.

For a lot of women, these will be more than enough and will make them happy and fulfilled.  

I read your comments and frankly all i can see is just "we, we, we we, " or "i want, i need, "
Never a mention of what your man wants or what you'll be giving or offering him.
Neways, If he doesn't get anything from you, he'll probably go looking for it outside while you're still busy compiling your list of demands.
Seriously think women are getting more and more selfish by the day,
I'm pretty sure your mama didn't get up to 50% of the attention an average woman gets today and yet they had a fulfilled life.  I guess your idea of happiness and  fulfilment is having your man on a leash.  God help us

When Winona set this topic up the discussion was normal, civil and cordial with mutual regards for eachothers thoughts and opinion. Its become the Nigerian "God this, pray that, fast and so on crap" It is all (sorry but i got to say) BULL SHIT. A lot of Nigerians hide under the guile of religion. I guess that's why the country is in such a great shape as the one of the most religious countries in the world. We preach in the front but inside loads of us are Shit. I am a Nigerian, and Yes I believe there is a God and believe in God but all your practical every second God yelling is annoying. If you want to advice and discuss like a civilised human then do it. If you want to preach then I suggest you open another thread or topic. Could you leave thus pretentious Holiness in your homes, church or wherever you have.

P.s I am sue re Winona has prayed about this  so for the sake of me, leave God out of this thread or at leastkeep it at a solemn tone as some have done.

I am refering to you the so called dare god

Genius100:

Lady Winona, there is nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex, but obviously this is a little more than friendship otherwise you won't be posting this on Nairaland.

I don't see a need for you to request a transfer or leave the job. Just make sure you are not spending too much time with him; and don't ever be alone with him in a private location. Also, you may need to find good friends of the same sex who can provide you with the same type of companionship this guys is providing, Good luck.

Thank you for your wonderful contribution.

nnamod:

When Winona set this topic up the discussion was normal, civil and cordial with mutual regards for eachothers thoughts and opinion. Its become the Nigerian "God this, pray that, fast and so on crap" It is all (sorry but i got to say) BULL poo. A lot of Nigerians hide under the guile of religion. I guess that's why the country is in such a great shape as the one of the most religious countries in the world. We preach in the front but inside loads of us are poo. I am a Nigerian, and Yes I believe there is a God and believe in God but all your practical every second God yelling is annoying. If you want to advice and discuss like a civilised human then do it. If you want to preach then I suggest you open another thread or topic. Could you leave thus pretentious Holiness in your homes, church or wherever you have.

P.s I am sue re Winona has prayed about this  so for the sake of me, leave God out of this thread or at leastkeep it at a solemn tone as some have done.

I am refering to you the so called dare god

So, the God that can take your life in the next minute if He wishes has become a crap to you?

HYTG