memyselfandI, you seem to be confusing me with your wretched family. 

why are you concerned with my response? Olori bu like you. Look at everyone's responses and look at yours. Struggling with English like the motorpark bastid that you are. Come and beat me na.  Omo ale with no education 

Debo,  Now that you've explained the reasoning behind the demented mentality, how about adding some actual advice for the OP 

charcon, you can also add Debosky as the only (m) to listen to. Again IGNORE the REST unless you wanna die because the same bastids telling you to pray now will laugh at you and say 'why didnt she leave" when your husband finally kills you.

I wish these people had real support systems in Naija because Nairaland is the last place anyone should come to, way too many simpletons.

In terms of advice it's very simple - it sounds as if the OP has a job or a means of income. If that is so, she should move her kids elsewhere immediately and remove them from that abusive environment (along with herself of course). If she can't afford it, send them to her parents' home or something.

Once she and the kids are in a safe environment then he next step is deciding the future of the marriage. She is the only one that can decide for herself if the marriage is worth saving. If she thinks it is, she and the hubby need to agree to see a counsellor, not just a cosmetic 'go and sin no more, I will pray for you' type, and see if they can begin to understand the causes of the problems and how to resolve them.

Nigerians are proud and hardly want to tell people about their problems, but I hope she has family members she can confide in - you cannot keep kids in such an environment and keep subjecting your self to beatings. Life is too short.

Do you have a Job? If you do begin to put money away kia kia,
Also try taking your husband's money without him finding out if not more reasons to plump you.
But money will solve your issue and empower you to take the right decision.
For now once he raises his hands donot wait all, run and run fast!
If you have various punch marks it may be hard to find another husband if you decide to close this chapter
Your kids are better of not seeing their mum pounded, it can highly damage them.

The decision is yours but steal his money if you have to, just make sure you have enough money to help you take a decision when you are ready.

Richvkunt:


Unlike you I actually have a job and I am not on this forum 24/7.
I stumbled upon this because today is saturday and I am less busy.
I would have given my reply but I think harakiri has done a very good job.


NUFF SAID!

Damn! I just love. . .looove how we can communicate without mentioning names!! It is so sweet. . like really!! Wait a second. . .Oh my God!! Oh my God!! Are we having a moment here? You know what. . . I think we are!! We are!!! And they said people can't establish emotional connection in cyberspace. We sure proved them wrong, dinchwe, snookums!

debosky:


They are simply reflecting the commonly held Nigerian mind set - if a woman is dissatisfied in a marriage, she should 'pray and shower love' on her husband. If a man is dissatisfied, he can leave. Underneath these responses lies the notion that men can find new wives but divorced women will struggle. Only men have the reserved right to decide when a marriage continues or is terminated.

Oh Right! Right! Right! Well duh to me, no? Sigh! Sometimes I get get caught in my flights of fancy. . .into a world where there are more guys who think like you than errr. . .ehm. . .*Cough, Cough* .

Oh well, I guess it is back to reality!!!! 

debosky:

In terms of advice it's very simple - it sounds as if the OP has a job or a means of income. If that is so, she should move her kids elsewhere immediately and remove them from that abusive environment (along with herself of course). If she can't afford it, send them to her parents' home or something.

Once she and the kids are in a safe environment then  he next step is deciding the future of the marriage. She is the only one that can decide for herself if the marriage is worth saving. If she thinks it is, she and the hubby need to agree to see a counsellor, not just a cosmetic 'go and sin no more, I will pray for you' type, and see if they can begin to understand the causes of the problems and how to resolve them.

Nigerians are proud and hardly want to tell people about their problems, but I hope she has family members she can confide in - you cannot keep kids in such an environment and keep subjecting your self to beatings. Life is too short.

Okay, what are you trying to do to me here? I'm trying to ground myself in reality, accept that the world revolves around men, their wants and needs must always come first, I'm slowing getting it okay. . .that a woman's desires or well being have no place in all this world and what do you do. . .you write that!

How can I accept reality if you keep. . .Oh! Oh!! Here comes the flight of fancy again. . .Hmmmm, pure bliss!!

LOL He's a rare one, Sisi 

Debo! prepare my baby for me in July shogbo?

I see there is a Clique working on this thread. You people have emotional baggage and need some therapy. Some of you are half-joking, some of you take this as a crusade but for someone to say only their advice should be taken on a public forum is almost unbelievable.

OP, if your husband assaults you like he does. I think you can go to the Office of the Public Defender/Legal Aid Council (or similar institutions) to seek help for charging him to court for assault and battery.

Now, those guys will not do so immediately without calling him and trying to change his attitude. They will try to make peace between the two of you.

If that fails, I suggest you walk. It is also possible for someone your husband defers to, to play a mediatory role.

@ThiefOfHeart, i dont blame you. You were absent in class when your mates were taught how to be respectful to their elders.

Anyways,i would have beaten you but where do i start from? I know you are tripping for me!

Since you're an elder, hopefully you will soon be dead.

@ OP I can definetly understand why you want to stay in a bad marriage for your kids sake. BUt your not doing them any favours infact you are harming them, you daughter has seen your husband beat you, she is going to grow up thinking its ok if a man beats her reguarly. Your son will equally think the same. Im not telling you to leave your husband, but to leave the house for the time being, spend some time apart, he may realise once your gone your true value and worth and decide to change and be a better person to you and the kids.

Regarding all you said.

Pls first thing is the hitting and physical violence part. Stop that one first either by moving out or by involving authorities

All other issue can be resolved but if he maims you in his moments, Then the children you give as excuse for waiting in the marriage would suffer more than you can imagine