double08:

I know a guy who goes to all the funerals in my area,when he gets to the venue,he counts the canopy,[b]if there are 30 canopy he will be taking 30 packs of take away home,[/b]we call him the obito commando  

laff wan kpai pesin!!! :-D:-D

In our African culture whenever one has a guest, he or she is usually offered food as a sign of appreciation. All the more if the guest was invited in the first place. The guest is at liberty to accept it or not.

I dont see why a burial ceremony should be any different.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 'A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of one's birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men, and the living will lay it to his heart.'

Ecclesiastes 7:4 'The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.'

I dont think eating at the funeral of an elderly person who died at a ripe age (say 80 and above) is wrong, but doing that at the funeral of someone who died in his/her prime is not proper. I once attended the funeral of a 14year old and believe me, i saw villagers (mostly elderly men) fighting over drinks! It was very sickening!

Interesting topic @ poster. Funny I've held the same opinion since I was a kid. Never quite understood how people would be merry-making (drinking and feasting) over a dead person's body so to speak. I've never ever eaten let alone drank at a burial - except the dead individual was a patriach/matriach aged 75 and above whose children/grand children are throwing a big party to 'celebrate their lives' as it were. But then, to each their own. It's almost as if some people rejoice over another's death - and celebrate the fact at the person's burial, and at the person's family's expense. For some others, it may just be a matter of unbridled gluttony - the accursed onijekujes of this world.

Acidosis:

I  think the question should be WHY DO WE COOK AT FUNERALS?

That's what I wanted to type.  

If you have problem with people eating in funeral, then don't COOK.

@sauer
Abeg don't start with the Nigerian bashing. Its not only in Nigeria people feast at funerals.

Even where he deceased is just 16 years people will fight for food.Some will steal to take home for their famished children.Its unfortunate that its an old African tradition.Some will even boast that they killed 10 cows when their father or mother died.whereas when they deceased was alive he or she never enjoyed anything from their children.Very common among the yorubas and ibos.The hausas dont do such things.They only served  water for thirsty and weary visitors.while some are weeping and mourning some are busy eating and fighting over food and drinks and even going home with injuries.Some even go there with their plates and cutlery and carry all their children along even traveling very far to bring fry meats home.Its all about poverty.POVERTY! And in some places if you chose to be an exception people will abuse you and said you never gave a beffitting burial to your loved ones.Lord have mercy.

It calls for a review of our burial rites.

Pple will always bhave inappropriately,d tin is u are d 1 doing d burial,so bury dem as u please n dose attending will follow ur rules,na u get d money weda western or african style,just b ready 2 ignore wagging tongues

jamace:

 Are you related to NATH ORJI of the New Masquerade drama?      

LMAO, Natty okosisi

Abeg man must wack

I felt like pulling a slug on those eating with great pleasure at my mother's funeral. That was secondary school days though.

They must eat, drink, dance and be happy because of the fortunes the dead left behind waiting to be shared!

It depends on who died. If it is an older person, that means celebration of Life, But for a youth, it would be too cold for comfort to Eat anything

it's not about eating at funeral, it's about appreciating the guests (who have come from far and wide) to the funeral. Atleast you are expected to eat something after living your house for some hours. Most guests dont care about the deceased family food. To me, it's thoughtful appreciating your guests.

i just think is not ryt,to celebrate in an under age burial, say 4rm 55 to 0 age.

Everything in Nigeria is meant to showcase wealth - marriage, birthday, burial, anniversary, memorial service, out-of-prison service, thanks-giving service, miracle service, naming ceremony, etc. This is the reason why more than 90 percent of Nigerians will steal if they are in the position to do so. The life of the society is geared towards showcasing wealth.

I know in the Yoruba culture, it is fairly rare to have a funeral celebration for someone under 50. Even if there is a small gathering and there is food, most educated and well-to-do people will avoid eating anything more than snacks. It's just terribly poor form to go eating like a hungry person at a funeral party.

I get to attend a few parties (especially weddings) anytime I am home and I generally avoid eating at them because I know no matter how fancy or expensive the caterer is, the food is never going to be as good as the food my mum and her staff cook at home. I usually just eat snacks and have drinks. That's the way most people I know are. I swear to God, if I attend a party with a girl and she gets herself a giant plate of food, I am breaking up with her that very day!

It is not African tradition to fight for food at parties. This thread is an opportunity for us to inquire more into our traditions. I know that for the Yoruba people (maybe not all Yoruba people) family members that are older than the deceased prior to the transition do not eat during the funeral.

On a normal case, cooking at funerals is not apropriate.
Are the people eating and drinking because they wont be seeing deir love ones again or wat??
Comparing african funnels wit that of the western world,we will see dat the white men dont even cook or invite entertainers during such services. I strongly beleive dat funnel is a time of sober reflexion and nt a time of wining and dining

deadie:

Everything in Nigeria is meant to showcase wealth - marriage, birthday, burial, anniversary, memorial service, out-of-prison service, thanks-giving service, miracle service, naming ceremony, etc. This is the reason why more than 90 percent of Nigerians will steal if they are in the position to do so. The life of the society is geared towards showcasing wealth.

True, I used to question the essence in throwing lavish parties at ceremonies and I blame it partly on tradition. We need to question some of our African values that celebrates pomp and pageantry even at sombre occasions like funerals. Once, my mom came home from a funeral and our house help hadnt prepared food for her. My mom got angry at her and berated her for implying that she must have eaten at the funeral, hence her reasons for not cooking. Sometimes, it has to do with poverty, but at the same time, we see even respected elders demanding for cows, money, etc, etc during funerals while sons and daughters of the deceased get into debts to satisfy the demands of tradition. And dare not conform to it, you will be the laughing stock in the village.

in as much as i hate eating at funerals, i dont see it as poverty stricken to ppl who eat, for d love of mike, nobody forced anybody to cook, beside, if ppl do not eat, d already prepared fud will b a waste to d family, even if ppl r goin to funerals for fud, atleast dey r making d place filled up, or wuld u prefer an empty funeral witour ppl comin to b wit d bereaved? Just lyk weddins, ppl afta eaten, makes gud donations, lykwise in funeral. Generally, i loath funerals, but i dont see anytin bad in eatin at funerals, eating at funerals shud not b attached to poverty, its a tin of choice, if u can eat, Gud, if u cant, Better.

I have always thought about this cooking and eating @ burials. I think there ought to be other ways of celebrating life of a deceased be it below 50 or above 70. 95% of people who come to funerals are unvited and yet a huge percent of them come only to eat, mehn thats disgusting. This tradition of ours need serious review.

what is more pathetic is that some of the people too ready to carry out the celebrations have left the celebrated in neglect before their death. The celebrations are usually a show of wealth or a means of finding something to do. you'd even hear such things as "I was there at ur father's and so u av to be here too" some others even make money from it. when in government positions, there fellow thieves can donate towards the celebration.



IMO, no matter the reason, wining, dining, singing or what have you at the death of anyone is simply insensitive

I don't see anything ethically wrong with this but, I don't want to eat at a funeral.

This tradition should be abolished, the tradition of levying relatives exhorbitantly to make room for expensive burial rites. This is part of the reason some people are afraid of spending money in hospitalizing their ailing relatives for fear that on their death, they wont have enough money to pay for their funeral rites. This leads to partial neglect of the deceased because their 'loved' ones, burdened by tradition, want to set aside money for funeral expenses. Abi, I dey lie?  This is also a potential minefield between siblings with accusations that while one drained their expenses in taking care of the deceased during their lifetimes, the other sibling was simply a no show. Yet, one could say, there should be no price limit in caring for a love one, which is true, but during funeral, most people would rather pay respects to the generous bereaved for spending lavishly on cows, goats, drinks, renovating their father's thatched house into an imposing edifice to give their parent a befitting honor back to mother earth. You will even see elders extolling them, "You gave your father a befitting honor during his funeral." This leads to resentment, particularly, if the caretakers (in some cases, the daughters) are not recognized for caring for the decased during their lifetimes, but ran from hospital to hospital in search of remedy, and in the process, are unable to contribute a widow's mite, during the funeral.

This is an eye-opener to all and definitely a topic worth discussing.

Funerals (of the elderly ie around 70, 75 and above) are used as get togethers for the extended family, community, friends and well wishers to celebrate the person's life.

hence the feasts which abound at such.

Some people do enjoy attending these kinds of funerals and really, the food is good.

however, another offshoot of funerals is hookups. Its getting very common these days- not sure if it was always like that.

i used to think hookups were more expected at weddings- when everyone is dressed in nice attire and you had a greater chance of meeting other singles hoping for marriage (catching the bouquet and all that).

eh.