snairegin:

I think i have a lot of experience with the whole sickle cell issue and can relate to a lot of do's and don't's & give my own honest & spiritual belief to the whole issue.

God is a father of choices, if u have genuine love & honesty with each other , u should be together. Any doubt in your love or ability to stay together, move on and seperate peacefully. Although, i feel that you should always tell all genetic traits, interests, values etc as early as possible.

My sweet/ sad story,
Was in a relationship for 5 and a half years, the last 4yrs living together with the intention of getting married (literarily saving & advancing our careers to pay for a wedding ourselves), parents told me to check her genotype, told them that she had it done in nigeria and she's not sure of accuracy, but recalls it being AA

Told my parents that we would deal with all circumstances when it arises, how stupid i was to trust someone else other than God.

An SS cousin came on holiday (having wealthy parents with dad being a doctor) and died back in nigeria a week after. It prompted her to retest & she turned to be AS as well.
Her family & friends auto switched off & insisted we part , months after, she decided that she had to move on as we disagreed on the important topic,
What to do if the 25% chance occurs?, she wanted to keep at all costs with tears (optimistic), i wanted a test and abort( realist), our families wanted us to part at all costs( pessimist),

My personal view, if u both love each other & are perfect for each other, pain , suffering , difficult decisions, life's challenges would make u stronger each time,
If u both like each other a lot but not love, or one loves and the other doesn't, u should part ways.

AA+ SS, just prepare yourself in the worst of times for your hubby's passing & agree next steps, will, moving on etc, be smart with each other not stupid

AS+SS, don't u dare
AS+AS, only if your love is strong enough, personally, i believe medical science is meant to guide our choices rather than be a definite for choices,

Take for example, my ex marries an AA, but the first kid or one of them is diagnosed early with downes syndrome or some serious mental/physical defect, would she not be faced with the same problem?
If she keeps the baby with the second best man,she would struggle ,
If she takes a doc's advice of not keeping the baby, aborting would make her remember me,
If she learns of a medical breakthrough in 10 years time or the hubby turns into a monster, she would definately remember me

A woman has a bigger chance of a miscarriage nowadays in the western world than problems after an abortion

God is Love and love is , SELFLESSNESS
, SACRIFICE
, COMMITMENT and finally
, CONTEMPT

God never intends for us to settle for second best , stop the relationship as early as possible but if there is true love and agreed values, stay together

As for me, the next partner has to have same values, love GOD, love me and DOESNT HAVE TO BE AA or even african, as there would always be something in life that would make us all imperfect, challenges to face , bad habits to live with sacrifices to make

Very well Said. I think this is the best so far,

So how about AA and AS can they get married? is there any risk

AA + AS is fine,

50 % chance of having healthy AS kids or healthy AA kids

@snairegin

Its sad when both partners turn out to be AS, but it becomes bloody murder if they go ahead and concieve.

Unless you condone abortion, there is no excuse for playing heads-or-tails with the life of your unborn child.

Downs syndrome etc are natural disasters, like hurricanes or floods, that cannot be predicted or escaped. AS+AS giving SS is totally different, since the parents valued their love over the life of their child.

simple solution:

AS+AS= do not do it. DOnt do it!!!! NEVER! Marry if you must but do NOT concieve a child! If you concieve and the child is not SS, its not the grace of God for you, it is God SAVING your child from YOUR EVIL.

dakmanzero:

@snairegin

Its sad when both partners turn out to be AS, but it becomes bloody murder if they go ahead and concieve.

Unless you condone abortion, there is no excuse for playing heads-or-tails with the life of your unborn child.

Downs syndrome etc are natural disasters, like hurricanes or floods, that cannot be predicted or escaped. AS+AS giving SS is totally different, since the parents valued their love over the life of their child.

simple solution:AS+AS= do not do it. DOnt do it!!!! NEVER! Marry if you must but do NOT concieve a child! If you concieve and the child is not SS, its not the grace of God for you, it is God SAVING your child from YOUR EVIL.

thanks brother. Please don't because of love and let a child cause you for what you could ave averted in the first place. I ave a friend who whenever she is in crisis (at 25) still wonders why her mother could because of a blind love bring her to come and suffer so in this world. Very brilliant girl, smart and cute save the crisis.
She tells me she wish she never came to this world whenever she is in pains and please you need to see her then. If you are a female with a mother's heart, don't bring a child to suffer for your

The post is a good one that brings to the fore the issue of sickle cell and marriage.
Many here are voicing their beliefs and that is good.
If two people who are AS decide to get married I think they are doing so as two consenting adults who are ready to face the consequences.
I am a sickler and many don't know me to be sick. I am aslo im my 30s.
The fact that I won't like to have my offspring or any other child go through what I went doesn't mean I or other sicklers can't have a chance to live life to the fullest.
Is it wrong for us to wish for love and affection from a mate or to wish for that special someone to spend our lives with because we are sicklers? We are also human. There are many patients out there whom their disease put them in varying degrees of pain but who are living life to the full why not us? Are sicklers the only people who die young?
I think we deserve a chance at life too and why it is not advisable AS people wishing to marry should be left to make their own decision.

hello guys,
i stumbled upon this site while i was researching about sicklecell. I have to say I'm amazed @ people opinion. to cut the long story, short sicklecell is no joke at all and i know this because i deal with all the headache and drama that comes along with with. i have sicklecell and never ever will i ever marry someone that is AS OR SS. LOVE is one thing and peace of mind is another. Based on my own personal;experience i will suggest to anyone to find out the genotype of their partner before getting married. Living with sicklecell is like a rollercoaster. Let us all make smart choices.

Folks,
Hear this. A very young girl and boy in their mid twenties (the girl working and the boy a graduate but yet to do his NYSC programme) were to get married in Dec 2008. However, the church they were to marry asked them to do genotype and HIV tests as is the practice in the church. Both turned out to be AS.

Their parents and friends thanked God that they discovered their incompatible geneotype before the marriage and naturally asked them to call off the marriage. The church didn't give such a directive but advised them to think again their decision to marry. Unfortunately, the young couple has decided to go ahead with the marriage. Their decision is predicated on the following facts which I guess they gathered online and from friends:
    1. There is only 25% chance that they will produce an SS child.
    2. They will test the gene of the foetus and get rid of it if the gene is SS.

Being a close family friend to the girl I want to talk to the girl and convince her to cancel the marriage as the risk is too much. This forum has given me  points which I will use to advise the girl but I still need more points to use to add.

I think it is a crime to self, partner and d unlucky baby SS, if AS marries AS all in the name of love. I have been a victim of having an SS child whom i loved best. I eperience d most agonising emotional condemnation and guilt anytime he had crisis. Belief that d foetus can be aborted if test revealed it to be SS in utero is risky as not all pregnancies can be aborted apart from moral ethics that may make attepting it difficult . Avoid future lifetime depression by not taking unnecessary risks today-Dr Akinwilly

hello, it saddens me too hear or read that people try to capitalize on the fact that having a SS baby by two AS parent is a joke. first of all, there are differnt typpes out there. i think people need to research very hard on the disease b4 making any life decisions.
Medical Problems. Sickle cell is associated with so many other life treatened medical issues. Below is a little history on how bad ss is.

Sickle cells are destroyed rapidly in the body of people with the disease causing anemia, jaundice and the formation of gallstones.

The sickle cells also block the flow of blood through vessels resulting in lung tissue damage (acute chest syndrome), pain episodes (arms, legs, chest and abdomen), stroke and priapism (painful prolonged erection). It also causes damage to most organs including the spleen, kidneys and liver. Damage to the spleen makes sickle cell disease patients, especially young children, easily overwhelmed by certain bacterial infections.

My Advice to anyone who is willin to go with LOVE instead of peace of mind is to do intensive research on SS then make make their decision afterwards. i'm convinced that anybody with a heart will never ever want to put their worst enemy through the pain. there are so many resources out there, so please lets all make use of it. Peace.

hmmmmmm
i lost a very good relationship because of dis AS - AS thing, painful as it is i had to let go
It's not dat easy but bin a medical doctor i know wat it entails
It best avoided dan live wit regret ltr

I lost TWO younger ones to SSS. The rest of us are AS and AA. If you have never lived with someone who has the disorder, you cannot,by any stretch of the imagination,understand the horor that is their life, and the horrendous,unbearable anguish that comes from loving them for many years,only to lose them without warning. My siblings went through experiences no one should have to go through, and the pain would be so bad atimes the rest of us would be weeping and begging the doctors to 'do something'. I slept with them in hospitals, and would sometimes take my work there and finish it there. Blood transfusions galore. Apart from the pain they go through,imagine the psychological torment of having a death sentence hanging over your head, the fact that you might have a lot of dreams but it's unlikely you will live to see any fulfilled,the fact that you can have that Final Crisis that will end your life at ANY time. No one should have to live like that. It is horrible and very very very unfair to them.


75% are pretty good odds,but I'm not sure it's accurate. I think it might be higher. And there are AS/AS who do not have SSS children, who got lucky. It's their choice to make, if they wish to marry. But no one has the right to bring a child into the world that would undergo such torment. If there are ways to detect it and abort the foetus,so be it. IF that's available, then it should take care of that 25% that might crop up.

lynxnoon:

hmmmmmm
i lost a very good relationship because of this AS - AS thing, painful as it is i had to let go
It's not that easy but bin a medical doctor i know what it entails
It best avoided dan live wit regret ltr

NA TRUE YOU TALK. MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND DIED OF THIS HORRIBLE SICKNESS TOO.

me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years, and i loove him so much, and i only want him, because he's an SS and im an AS (actually a beta thalasemia carrier) we cant get married, as we are only 19 we made a dicision together cuz we wanted to not for our parents, But im suffering right now its been 5 months and i cry almost everyday, i force my self to go out but im never really happy, its like someone died, the thought of another girl with him or the thought of another guy with me makes me want to vomit, if a guy jst flirts with me it makes me sick, i loove him but im not strong enough, i want him sooo bad i sweaaaar i dont want anything else, ill never feel real happiness and love again in my life, i just want to feel him nxt to me again, i don't want to love him anymore cuz this pain is much stronger than i am, hes alaways in my mind no matter wat i do, i cnt do anything,,, no one cn do anything,

what advice would u give to a couple who just discovered that they are both AS.
they didnt have marriage counselling on this issue.

hello house,i was wondering,every body ws jst discussing on AS n AA.dre are some healthy carriers,AC.the question is now.What happens wen AS marries AC.25percent chance of having SC too?What are the characteristics of this SC?

I GOT MARRIED TO ONE ,AND WILL HAVE 4 LOVELY KIDS WHO HAPPEN TO BE AA.

I KNEW B4 I MARRIED THAT AM AS, AND ALSO MY HUSBAND ,BUT I LOVE MY HUSBAND

AND I DECIDED TO TAKE THE RISK. TO GOD BE THE GLORY THIS IS MY TESTIMONY.

I'm happy it worked out for you, chelsea

well im AS and my bf is also AS but im believing GOD for a change of genotype to AA,

There is no issue here. Carriers SHOULD NOT marry each other. Someone AFFECTED by sickle cell disorder should ONLY marry healthy (AA) partners.

my boyfriend is AS and im also AS but im believing God for a change if genotype, its possible it can change cos the bible says all things are possible if u believe. i love him n i dont think i can love nother like him.

@ Daisy
What if it doesnt change ?

WHAT IF IT CHANGES?/ look i believe all things are possible if u believe so it will change, it must change.period!!!im going for a test on monday and will shear my testimony .

@ lynoox, how did u deal with it wen u separated from her if u really love her why?? as for me im not giving up on this, we will make it.and by the way its 25% chance of having an ss child.

Daisy
You wnt be the 1st to say that. Pls keep me posted on the results.

sure i will, cos it happened to my friend it will happen to me.

well, i know u guyz will do that which is on your mind no matter what people say but mind you, SS NO BE JOKE O, DON'T PRAY TO WITNESS WHAT IT COMES WITH 'COZ YOU WILL NOT REST EVEN AT NIGHT. A CHILD WITH SS THOUGH STRONG WILL BREAK DOWN AT ONE TIME.
JUST BE CAREFUL.
GOODLUCK

@Daisy,
Blood genotype don't change unless it was'nt done properly in the first place.
i have nothing more to add to what has been said already, they were all spot on.
A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

@ spyder99
check Luke 1:37 in your Bible and tell me what's up wif it, i tell u sumfin, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. just BELIEVE.
I pray 4 U friend, IT WILL and MUST CHANGE.

I wonder where Daisy2010 is ?

Nicklee:

Very well Said. I think this is  the best so far,

I love your quote a lot, and somehow i ve lost a great relationship to the AS + As thing, and it wasnt easy getting over. 
What about the AS + SS Marriage?  if the folks choose from the onset not to have babies, is it still advisable for them to go on?
Now my major concern for this kinnda union is helping the folks on the fear of loosing the dear one.
I believe with God all things are possible, what do u think guys?

Well am SS and my boyfriend is AS and we are definitely getting married.
we are not going to bring children into this world to suffer what I have suffered all my life so we'll probably do genetic testing during pregnancy so we can have @ least 1 kid of ours and then maybe adopt a couple.
Truth is its probably not going to be easy but as an SS who's lucky enough to have found a wonderful man who loves me regardless of my health issues am sorry but I can't break up with him for anything. Also what if I break up, marry someone else that I don't love just because he's AA and then we can't have kids?
Life is too short and probably more so for me, so am going to be with my soul mate for as long as God wills it, while making sure I don't bring another human being into the world to suffer when its preventable.