chikeorji123:

Hi my fellow N/L please l really need ur asistance oh! sorry l'm mean ur opinion on this serious matter.Na my mother oo! l really like to make her happy but not on the area of chosen a wife! for me,though they do say mother wants the best for her children but l feel to handle this by my self.Presently l have some female friends but not yet made up my mind which to chose,but she don't believe l can find a good wife and decided to handle unauthorized contract.Please how can l let her understanding that this my biz not hers b/c it's have turn the family into party of PDP and AC matter.chei na waa mother self. just ur advice b/c my dad support me while mother oppose it. what l'm watch on movie is befallen on me chei!.

Connoisseur:

You are lucky its just your mother, wait until your whole family (father, mother, sisters, uncles) joins the fray. Then you go hear am

doe-eyed:

@ Killz,
Quite the diplomat there.
And everyone remains happy too

, cept the unwanted chick I suppose.

Yeah! When dealing with a mother who is so strict pertaining marriage, you have to be diplomatic, else like the OP said, "you will turn the family into party of PDP and AC matter".

Now this is when it gets more interesting. Since it's the mother that brought the lady you eventually rejected, the onus lies on her to appease the lady! By the time she must have appeased 1, 2 or 3 ladies who you found fault(s) with, she'll understand and leave you to make your decision. When deciding on a lady to marry though, make sure it is a lady that has deep rooted respect for your mother. Else, if you renege on the agreement you had with your mother to get a wife who respects her, i'm sorry to say that even CPC will join the ensuing fracas!

~Killz~:

Yeah! When dealing with a mother who is so strict pertaining marriage, you have to be diplomatic, else like the OP said, "you will turn the family into party of PDP and AC matter".

Now this is when it gets more interesting. Since it's the mother that brought the lady you eventually rejected, the onus lies on her to appease the lady! By the time she must have appeased 1, 2 or 3 ladies who you found fault(s) with, she'll understand and leave you to make your decision. When deciding on a lady to marry though, make sure it is a lady that has deep rooted respect for your mother. Else, if you renege on the agreement you had with your mother to get a wife who respects her, i'm sorry to say that even CPC will join the ensuing fracas!

chikeorji123:

Hi my fellow N/L please l really need ur asistance oh! sorry l'm mean ur opinion on this serious matter.Na my mother oo! l really like to make her happy but not on the area of chosen a wife! for me,though they do say mother wants the best for her children but l feel to handle this by my self.Presently l have some female friends [/b]but [b]not yet made up my mind which to chose,but [b]she don't believe l can find a good wife [/b]and decided to handle unauthorized contract.Please how can l let her understanding that this my biz not hers b/c it's have turn the family into party of PDP and AC matter.chei na waa mother self. just ur advice b/c my dad support me while mother oppose it. what l'm watch on movie is befallen on me chei!.

maryann E:

Follow ur heart

adventisty:

This thing is working!
My parent got my wife for me and we have been happily married for about 20years now. u know the secret behind it is out of the respect you both have for your parents you would not want them dissapointed hence you both resoolve issues as they arises in the home. It has really worked for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outstrip:

So he should lead the girl on just to please the mother. How about telling his mom to go play with her husband so he can find his own wife.

It's obvious he has a deep sense of respect for his mom! He doesnt want to lose his mother's support over a wife issue and he doesnt want her to choose for him either! Telling her point blank and to the face "to go play with her husband" is not only rude, but insulting. Some guys are very close to their mothers and from personal experience, mothers do this out of love and are scared most times that they will lose their beloved son to a foreign lady, therefore, they endeavor to put up a diligent search of a wife for their son. A woman they - sometimes erroneously- believe is the "best" for their son. If you dont handle such matters with care, you'll lose your mothers affection and later in life, when you have a serious misunderstanding with the wife you chose, the wife you mother suggested comes to mind and you cant but wonder if you actually made a good choice of wife! You would have actually eliminated such feelings if in actuality, you checked out the girl mumsy suggested in the first place! Mind you, mothers too make a good choice, and they are by far, more experienced than us in matters of marriage. Even after marriage, we still go to them for advice, so i dont see it wrong if they suggest a wife for you. It's just that most times, we fit don go promise one kele say we go marry am, before momsy go scatter the runs. So the actual dilemma is how you will renege on a promise made, and your sense of pride. Most people believe they are old enough to make decisions. While that might be the case, i believe they should also be old enough to accept suggestions and weigh issues critically, from a different point of view. So in other to avoid "unnecessary" conflict, agree with her to later disagree!  

~Killz~:

It's obvious he has a deep sense of respect for his mom! He doesnt want to lose his mother's support over a wife issue and he doesnt want her to choose for him either! Telling her point blank and to the face "to go play with her husband" is not only rude, but insulting. Some guys are very close to their mothers and from personal experience, mothers do this out of love and are scared most times that they will lose their beloved son to a foreign lady, therefore, they endeavor to put up a diligent search of a wife for their son. A woman they - sometimes erroneously- believe is the "best" for their son. If you dont handle such matters with care, you'll lose your mothers affection and later in life, when you have a serious misunderstanding with the wife you chose, the wife you mother suggested comes to mind and you cant but wonder if you actually made a good choice of wife! You would have actually eliminated such feelings if in actuality, you checked out the girl mumsy suggested in the first place! Mind you, mothers too make a good choice, and they are by far, more experienced than us in matters of marriage. Even after marriage, we still go to them for advice, so i dont see it wrong if they suggest a wife for you. It's just that most times, we fit don go promise one kele say we go marry am, before momsy go scatter the runs. So the actual dilemma is how you will renege on a promise made, and your sense of pride. Most people believe they are old enough to make decisions. While that might be the case, i believe they should also be old enough to accept suggestions and weigh issues critically, from a different point of view. So in other to avoid "unnecessary" conflict, agree with her to later disagree!  

Outstrip:

It doesn't have anything to do with respect for his mother. Have you thought about the embarassment for the girl. we are not talking about the US here were people are not desperate to marry. Imagine someones mother finds a "wife" for him. He leads both mother and girl on. Both families start to call each other in laws and then he does not want the relationship anymore. I just think it is selfish. His mom is still a human being and should learn to understand that no is no. There is nothing diplomatic about hurting someone all the name of keeping mom happy.