♥ Before Marriage ♥
Boy: At last i can Hardly wait!
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No don"t even think about it!
Girl: Do you love me?
, Boy: Of course, always!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: No, why are you asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance i get
Girl: Will you slap me?
Boy: Hell no, are you crazy?!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Darling!!

After Marriage read it backwards!

Father : Son you should score at least 90% marks in your exam
Son : No father I will score 100%
Father : Why are you kidding ?
Son : Who started?

Before Marriage:
Roses Are Red,
Sky Is Blue,
Oh My Darling
I Love You, ♥
. . . .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
After Marriage:
Roses Are Dead,
I have Flu,
You Are My Headache
I Will Kill You…

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know,
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more, much more!

, After surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father is next to her bed.

Girl: Where is he?
Father: You don't know who gave you the heart?
Girl: What?! ( (She starts crying, )

Father: I'm just kidding, he went to the toilet,

@ killz u mean dat in a good way right?

Lucky's joke collection will be right back after these messages:

;d

u neva wake?

Where is d joke?

bright007:

Where is d joke?

bright ee be like say dats d only english u can speak come on! Be a good boy and appreciate fine jokes

@lucario. Mehn i'm feeling u! Nice jokes.

bright007:

Where is d joke?

Welcome My Guy, I don miss u dye




@OP. . . . . .nice jokes collection _{though I have seen some before}

Really, i didn't know that.

nice jokes!

Coming from you this is a surprise. More on the way!

Exposed!
BF: Hi, i was wondering if u'll be able to spend the weekend with me.
GF: Sorry, i can't i have an aunt's wedding to attend on saturday and Thanksgiving service on sunday.
BF: Too bad, i thought we could go shopping so i could Get u that BB Torch and Brazillian hairstyle you always wanted.
GF: Of course i'm coming!
BF: Really, what of the wedding?
GF: which wedding? i was only joking.
BF: What a coincidence, so was I.

In the Restaurant . . .
I am in Abuja to see my uncle, Exactly 8am the secretary told me to come back by 2pm
dat oga is not around, so i have to hang aroundmtill 2pm. By 1pm i'm so hungry cos i've not
eaten since morning & i'm left with N200. There is no local canteen 4 me to buy fufu or eba and
all i'm seeing is big hotels. My eye began to turn so fast i decided to find a solution. In front there
is a big 5 star hotel, so i clean my ruff shoe, adjust myself & enter d hotel. I enter the lobby and the
waiter ask me if i'm there to see someone or lodge in. I said 'My name is Star and i'm lodging in.'
He told me dat d least room is 47K per night and i said 'no problem, this place is so lovely just like the
hotel i slept yesterday in dubai on my way to america' he says thank u sir and i asked him if i can pay
in hard currency cuz i've not yet exchanged my dollars and he says okay. then i ask him 'where is ur restaurant
i need 2 eat 1st' he then leads me 2 the restaurant and told d chef 2 treat me well & i just got back from the US!
the chef gave me d menu list and i ordered, punded yam, efo riro, snail & catfish! The chef told me it would be ready in
thirty minutes time so i asked for the bar and he pointed to the place only for vips!
i requested for assorted pepper soup and spanish red wine and took two of both. and one serving is 34K. I moved on
to eat my food & the bill for food is 40k plus extra plate 74K and i have only N200! i started sweating despite the AC and
they started suspecting i don't have the money. So the security and staffs begin to gather around me, so i said to myself
'Star what can you do oo!' i quickly called phone no with my second phone picked it and said loudly
'Yes mallam, the bomb is still with me and will explode in next 2 minutes" then i shouted 'I am proud to be a suicide bomber'
before i drop my phone i couldn't see anybody in the hotel again, even on the street!

Thanks bro, more on d way!

Lucario007:

In the Restaurant . . .
I am in Abuja to see my uncle, Exactly 8am the secretary told me to come back by 2pm
dat oga is not around, so i have to hang aroundmtill 2pm. By 1pm i'm so hungry cos i've not
eaten since morning & i'm left with N200. There is no local canteen 4 me to buy fufu or eba and
all i'm seeing is big hotels. My eye began to turn so fast i decided to find a solution. In front there
is a big 5 star hotel, so i clean my ruff shoe, adjust myself & enter d hotel. I enter the lobby and the
waiter ask me if i'm there to see someone or lodge in. I said 'My name is Star and i'm lodging in.'
He told me dat d least room is 47K per night and i said 'no problem, this place is so lovely just like the
hotel i slept yesterday in dubai on my way to america' he says thank u sir and i asked him if i can pay
in hard currency cuz i've not yet exchanged my dollars and he says okay. then i ask him 'where is ur restaurant
i need 2 eat 1st' he then leads me 2 the restaurant and told d chef 2 treat me well & i just got back from the US!
the chef gave me d menu list and i ordered, punded yam, efo riro, snail & catfish! The chef told me it would be ready in
thirty minutes time so i asked for the bar and he pointed to the place only for vips!
i requested for assorted pepper soup and spanish red wine and took two of both. and one serving is 34K. I moved on
to eat my food & the bill for food is 40k plus extra plate 74K and i have only N200! i started sweating despite the AC and
they started suspecting i don't have the money. So the security and staffs begin to gather around me, so i said to myself
'Star what can you do oo!' i quickly called phone no with my second phone picked it and said loudly
'Yes mallam, the bomb is still with me and will explode in next 2 minutes" then i shouted 'I am proud to be a suicide bomber'
before i drop my phone i couldn't see anybody in the hotel again, even on the street!

U dey mock us ba!!! we dey find u fa!!!

U r part of the boko haram suicide bombers!?
*Jumps window and leaps over fence*
Oya, my Rocket Launcher dey my hand now, who wan try me?

, U wey don jump fence, wey I no c ur back

Sets to aim, r u d 1 dat want try me? *Points Rocket Launcher at chux*

lol

Thanx, more on the way, by the way, r u sure u r not d mod dani1luv using another account?

Lucario007:

Sets to aim, r u d 1 dat want try me? *Points Rocket Launcher at chux*

C d bomb 4 ya back, counting,
, 2,1,BOOM!!!!

hmm seems you love to copy bf and gf jokes only!

Suto, get lost. I didn't copy them from anywhere, a friend sent it to me so i posted it here.
If u don't recognize something good wenu see it then pleas leave.

Tank u my there, *although i still think ur location is ridiculous* someone who appreciates comedy.

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d