?

Onyche! You lost your shoe?

it's over and you need your space to heal, rather than dwell on the past. tell him to get outta your face

IbroSaunks:

it's over and you need your space to heal, rather than dwell on the past. tell him to get outta face

Gbam

Forgive me for this somewhat presumptuous entry,
if it causes any offence.

Seems bro wants to eat his cake and have it.
Got commitment issues but still wants the role of long-term partner,
wt some bedmatics and other fringe benefits if possible.

If u, I must stress "U" are ready to move on, need to set your boundaries
to enable a clean break, heal, appraise, re-set from learnt lessons.

Otherwise, 3 yrs later, u remain stuck in a relationship not going anywhere,
or dating someoneelse as rebound ( not fair to the new chap or yourself) or to repel this malingerer

r231:

Gbam

please forgive me for the following

don't be stupid can't you see that this dude is just planning to use you while he has sex with other women? Seriously how naive are you and why is this so confusing for you? Yes 10yrs is a long time but if it is over, tell that dickhead to get lost

wow. 10 years. this is why folks really shouldn't date unless they ready for marriage within the next 1-2 years. thats a lot of time wasted. definitely gonna leave an unhealthy soul tie.
A whole decade wasted and countless opportunities past. Sucks being a girl. 

@op, when next he comes close to him bath him with a good conc. acid or with hot oil or order for his arrest. What nonsense?! He knows how painful it would be to lose you to another man so he is trying to avoid it. He is winless winlessness loser. If you are scared you can call me let me help you execute the 'project'. As far as i am concerned, you must be in your late 20's/early 30's. Your biological clock isnt tilting to your favour girl

aleroo:

I had to create a new ID for this purpose.

My ten year relationship is finally over and I know not why.

The news is he still want to be friends.

Wants me to still cook for him.

Calls me out of the blues to ask where i am and gets upset when am not home.

Am on leave and mentioned to him that i had to travel and he said theres no need for that.

He comes to my house and looks around to see if theres a guy somewhere around.

Says the reason he still cares is cos ten years is a long time to throw away without making an effort to make it easy on me.

Am confused about the mixed messages.

You finally saw the light huh? after ten years. What a shame

Poster, how in God's name did you date someone that lonnggg??
Me, I nor fit ooooo
If I know the relationship aint alter bound after a year, men I ball.,.

?

jeez!
why did you wait around all these years?

anyways.what's done's  done!
there's no point being friends with him or hanging around him.
set your boundries and start again on a clean plate.
goodluck!

aleroo:

Thanks guys for your comments.

I dont know wether to forgive him and move on or payback, it just overwhelms me.

Am on the brink of depression.

I dont no wat to do

how do you plan to payback?
what's the whole point of paying back?
is it going to bring back the ten wasted years?

these are questions you need ask yourself before taking whatever action you plan to.

@ op
im so sorry about what you passing thru at the moment
but if i may ask, how old are you?

?

my dear nairalander, am in the same shoe wit you ooo, mine is just six yrs. so painful and touching,

Why do fo.ols fall in love?

@aleroo, you have to work on yourself. You have to keep him at bay by fire by force 'cuz from the way you are acting, even after you are married, he will still call you for sex and (un)fortunately, you will(100% sure) give in. Our greatest weapon towards women is psychology so you have to counter that. Peace

?

[size=15pt]And who said its a must he marries you, even if the relationship is 20years?? No make me vex oo [/size]

@ op
Seriously dont allow this guy to sit on the fence in your life. Dont be confused. If he said it is over then let it be over. It is not easy but try and move on. He cant have his cake and eat it. Tell him to stay the hell out.

I know it's hard to let go after seeing someone for 10 yrs but i'm almost 100% sure this dude will never marry you.
The quicker you move on with your life the better.

Change your number
Tell him he ain't welcomed at yours any more
Go and start dating

Thanks baroong and jaybee

10 years?she faints first

This dude is selfish, he doesn't want you anymore yet he doesn't want anyone around you
Move on dear, trust me I know its easier said than done
but in this case for your sanity you have to let him go
don't hold on to him thinking he might get back to his senses and come back to you
Tell him straight to back out of your life, let your attitude towards him show you are ready to move on and over him

The lord is your strength dear

y me:

10 years?she faints first

This dude is selfish, he doesn't want you anymore yet he doesn't want anyone around you
Move on dear, trust me I know its easier said than done
but in this case for your sanity you have to let him go
don't hold on to him thinking he might get back to his senses and come back to you
Tell him straight to back out of your life, let your attitude towards him show you are ready to move on and over him

The lord is your strength dear

*Pours her water*

I am not for quick engagement, but damn sure not for long engagement. 

In the first six months, a man will know whether you are the one or not.  He had his answers apparently. 

Watch the movie, "He is not that into you".  Many women need to see and embrace it. 

Good luck on your next relationship.

aleroo:

It happened with me, unfortunately he dumped my sorry Bottom and guess wat? He's now into mega bucks

Is this the main problem why you can't see beyond the obvious?
Money surely doesn't equate to happiness and neither can it buy it

aleroo:

I had to create a new ID for this purpose.

My ten year relationship is finally over and I know not why.

The news is he still want to be friends.

Wants me to still cook for him.

Calls me out of the blues to ask where i am and gets upset when am not home.

Am on leave and mentioned to him that i had to travel and he said there's no need for that.

He comes to my house and looks around to see if there's a guy somewhere around.

Says the reason he still cares is cos ten years is a long time to throw away without making an effort to make it easy on me.

Am confused about the mixed messages.

It's not a case of mixed messages. The guy has ended the relationship but wants to keep you under his feet to ensure that you do not move on, because a man's worst fear is to have his ex-girlfriend/wife move on. He'd rather have his favourite team from the English Premier League lose 10 consecutive matches.

If he wants to make it easy for you as he claims, then why does he come over to your house to see if there's someone else around? What is it about you venturing into another relationship that he fears so much to the point that he has to linger around your house? Ask yourself.

And people claim that women are the difficult ones to understand ?? 

If after 6 months, you are not sure of your partner, its better you bail out and give someone else a chance. I dont believe in dating for donkey years before deciding her future with me, its really unfair.

Sorry OP, but there must be a reason for this. Are you medically compatible?