The Pain Of Finding True Love. - Romance (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by CosmicJames(m): 10:52pm On Mar 09, 2012 |
There is always anoda way so she shod look 4 luv in anoda man period. It is only she herself and her guy that are in luv. Her parents n religion are not in luv with them so there is no understanding here and where there is no understanding, luv will fail. The best option for her now is to go 4 anoda relationship. |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by queensmith: 10:23am On Mar 10, 2012 |
I have long given up on trying to please people with my relationships? Unless these people will pay me I will have no gratification or disappointment over their approval or disapproval in my choice of spouse. If anything it pushes me further away. If her family are the source of this 'true love' then she should marry one of them? It's very simple- I advise she elope with whomever she finds love, start her life brand new and away from negative influences, when the family are ready to respect her choices they will find her and make efforts to love her husband no matter his tribe or religion. |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Nobody: 10:47am On Mar 10, 2012 |
80% of the world's famous and successful people, musicians, footballers, entertainers, etc always has this story of unsupportive parents at the early stage of their career. however, determination is the first step to success. tribal differences could be handled with an advanced approach, but religion is so poisonous that it could do harm to one if not both lovers. I am proudly a staunch Atheist, going by my experience with people in other beliefs, if Islam is involved in this issue, then someone's life may be in danger so my advice to ur friend is to have a rethink on whatever decision she takes. invite her to join NAIRALAND so she can view people comments on this issue. |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Killz3(m): 11:05am On Mar 10, 2012 |
991:What's the percentage of those that had unsupportive parents and still ended up unsuccessful? You make it sound as if parents are wrong when they decide not to support a child they love so much. . . And that if you have unsupportive parents, damn them, and you will be successful. Clarifications pls. . . |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Nobody: 11:39am On Mar 10, 2012 |
@killz If you were the OP you would understand my point. cheers dear. happy to share and exchange views with you again. nice weekend, |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Killz3(m): 11:46am On Mar 10, 2012 |
^^^ Let's say i'm the OP, and i don't understand your point, how will you make me? That's some statistics you put up on there, supporting not listening to parents. . . |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Nobody: 11:55am On Mar 10, 2012 |
No my dear, you got it wrong. i never said we shouldn't listen to parents, there is a stage in everyone's life when he/she turns into what he/she would become for the rest of life. parents play less important role at that stage, however,in life, different things happen to different people in different ways. the topic is one finding true love so lets not divert it to parental issues. i just used the first line of my comment to make the OP understand that he should be the chief decision maker on the issue of love/marriage. cheers. |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Killz3(m): 12:21pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
^^^ Sincerely, i get the angle you are coming from. When it comes to marriage, we all should be the chief decision maker. But at that stage of life, marriage is not what we have ventured into. Our parents have always been there to guide us, so why should their guidance in marriage issues not be sought? They are far more experienced than we ever think. While some people have been successful after going against their parents wishes, it's definitely NOT a yardstick to measure the success of another, or asking another to take such weighty step based on that. It's good to listen to parents like you said, they are always there for us. If they feel we are about to make a wrong step, consideration should be given to their concerns. . . She's even fortunate to have parents looking out for her interests. What of those who have none? No one would see a beloved child about to make a mistake, and okays him or her. What if her parents agree her to marrying the guy, but the parents of the guy refuses him marrying her? No matter what we may feel or think, FAMILY plays a role in our decision making. I don't believe they should be sidetracked when it comes to making important decisions such as this. mind you, the op's dilemma is ethnic problems + religious problems. . . |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by nekaa(f): 12:37pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
tribal barriers shldnt b a prblm buh the fact that its a religous barrier is wats making it more difficult, buh if she's sure she can cope with being an island 4rm her family then make she carry go, |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Nobody: 1:13pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
@kills yes man, i gat ur point. but could you imagine, when i first wanted to get married, my mother nearly pushed me to marrying her best friend's daughter just for the sake of their long-friendship, on the other hand my father wanted me 2marry from our home-town for reasons better known to him, when i finally made my choice(far from what they wanted), they were like disappointed at my decision but they supported me anyways. Today, Me & my wife are good example of marriage in the entire extended family and my parents are proud of me. parental advice/counselling is good per say but like i said "things happen to people differently" forget not that we have bad/selfish/ignorant/hateful/bigotry/discriminatory as well as helpless parental advice too. In the case of the OP's friend, both parents might disagree on ethnicity and/or Religion but it's up to them(THE GIRL AND HER LOVER) to put ethnicity and religion in the trash bin, and build a happy family together. how long does one live on earth? too short to be entangled with ethnic and religious hatred. |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by mrpwale: 1:22pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
ok now i c, the former guy is ibo, the nu guy he's yoruba n a muslim also n the gurl is yoruba too, sorry to say this but i gotta say it, LIFE'S COMPLICATED AT TIME, GIRL,LISTEN TO YOUR HEART COS I KNOW YOUR HEART MUST BE TELLIN YOU SOMETHING |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Heck: 1:54pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
so the guy is Hausa Fulani & the babe is Ijaw. Forget the new guy until he gets rich thru means. One 60 year old MAMA just got married in Lagos. You too can marry at 60. Just w a i t |
| Re: The Pain Of Finding True Love. by Killz3(m): 2:59pm On Mar 10, 2012 |
991:Your case is different. They were not against the choice you made. Were they? They were trying to make you choose. You eventually chose your wife and they supported you. OP's case is that she has chosen, they aren't suggesting anyone to her, but because of ethnic and religious reasons, they are saying no. She can skirt around the ethnic issues, but religion is a NO. Don't put religion in the trash bin. I understand your stance on religion because you are not religious, but to religious folks, it matters a lot and plays a crucial part. . . No need bringing upon herself premeditated problems! |
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