I was on my knees for midnight prayers
I was thinking of so many things at the same time
I was crying and i was praying
I want to stop but it kept rowling
O' my God, this ethnic earth

Everyday in the morning
I remember how lucky i was the night before
Everyday when am ready to eat
I remember those that are starving
Everyday when i get ready for work
I remember the educated jobless
I kept crying as i was thinking
I tried to stop but it kept pricking
This ethnic earth

Sometimes I ask myself why?
Why did the Tutsi hate the Hutu?
Why did the Hutu kill the Tutsi?
Why did Modakeke fight Ife?
Why did Ijaw Kill Itshekiri?
Why did Aguleri fight Umuleri?
Why are these tears from Boko Haram?
Why are rebels everywhere?
Maybe the end time is near
O' my God, this ethnic earth

Again, no more rains in April
No more hamathan in December
No more truth among brethren
No more love in the state
No more lights on all saints
No more candles on all souls
Mtcheew!, this ethnic earth.

I long to see your face
So i can see tomorrow
For you to touch my lace
Just to fade off my sorrow
Come and kiss away my tears
So i will walk without fear
Come ,please come
Cause i need you today
Tomorrow and forever
Or do you still want me to cry?



Amaechi Mandilas

Life is like chasing a wind
It is not a bed of rose.
Life is full of ups and downs.
Sometime life looks beautiful
before u know it looks ugly.
Some people work but nothing to show for their labour
while some people see the fruits of their labour but before they know it's all gone.
Some have it all but at the end they leave them behind.
We are only trying to know
but no one knows the way life goes.
Many times life proves us wrong.
It throws question at us,once we answer it,it leaves us in the search of answer to another question.
I have come to realise that what we own in life are not truly ours.
To me,life is eat,drink and enjoy.
All other things we crave for in life vanity.
Indeed,life is like chasing a wind.

Tears,anguish,sorrow,pains and agony
We experience in our daily lives
Things are taking a turn to the worse
Yet,we want to carry on to survive
I know you are not happy
at the rate your children are loosing their lives
Each time i see you in my dream
i see you with tears,why must it be so
Mama Africa ,Why

Millions of people we loose
Each time we fight
Millions again we loose
To vampires with vigilante cloths
And many more to ritualists
Many to accidents because of bad roads
Thousands to wild animals in Sahara while trying to
Escape the hardship in Africa to Europe
Many died while trying to cross Misrata to Lampedusa
Why must it always be Africans
Mama Africa,Why

In the denomination
Catholics are fighting the apostolic
Anglicans fight the Presbyterians
Cherubims are the worst enemy of the Celestia's
Yet,they all keep the sabbath the holy
In honor of He who creates Africa
And in our hearts hides
Some evil thoughts by evil men
When i asked why it must be Africans
All i see is your tears
Mama Africa,Why

Aids was first seen in America
Now it is spreading in Africa
Those of us who went in search of greener pastures
Are coming back with this deadly venture
If Africa is good and accommodating
They will not go out looking for another paradise
Other continents are guiding their children
But why must we be the most affected
Why must it be your children
Mama Africa, Why

I see you crying again
Stop and tell me for once
When will this storm be over
Mother of blacks,When.




Amaechi Mandilas

I must rise
Cause i have paid the price
Why i strive
Is cause i don't want to strike
He who falls in love
Has a price to pay
Be not afraid of the pains
cause there are equal gain
Wipe your tears if you cry
As much as you can try
And have no fear
Wipe your tears
Try baby smile
If you see a new dawn
Smile.work hard,brace up and say
I must rise




Amaechi Mandilas

A short simple poem. Pls guys critisize.


MY CRY
Don’t let me go
Cried I, don’t let me go!
So confident was I
Of my attachment to You.

But all the while
For the wrong reason worried I.
For you have chosen me
And I am Yours.

But so easily enticed was I
From your side,
From your presence.

With new insight I cry
I won’t let You go,
God help me, I won’t let You go!

Okija_juju: It was the 90's, we were young, restless and wild. The Hip-hop themed dresscode was in vogue, every kid had to have a bandana to look cool. L.L Cool J's 'Doin it' track was a big hit at this time. . . Life was good and I was loving every bit of it. It was my sophomore year of junior high, everything was going fine. I had a girlfriend, was an average student and was amongst the 'IT' guys in school. Little did I know that my world was about to be changed forever.

It started out just like any other day, woke up late, rushed a bath, barely grabbed my breakfast of magarined bread and a boiled egg as I rushed out the door. After two buses and a bike ride, I finally made it to school 5 minutes before the morning assembly bell rang. I dropped my bag off in class and rushed out to join the rest of mates, as we strolled to the assembly area, I couldnt help but notice the presence of Policemen sparsely distributed around the school grounds. Gossips started to move around the assembly ground, each person with a different theory from the next as to what was going on. The atmosphere even got more tensed as the latecomers who would normally be quarantined for punishment were let through to join the rest of the school population without problems. Something was definitely up and it wasnt good.

Lines formed, hynms sang, prayers said, National anthem sang all under the watchful eyes of over 15 policemen. After all protocols had been observed, out came our school's principal, walking slowly clutching a cane under his left shoulder and a bible in his right hand. His presence at the morning assembly was all the confrimation we needed that something was definitely wrong as he was barely ever seen by students at all except on rare occasions like today. He walked up and asked all the seniors to go to their individual classes, leaving just the 3 junior classes behind. Just then he started to call out names. . . I counted and voila number 13. . . My name. Now a flurry of thoughts filled my mind. All the vices I had done since I started schooling there came rushing back to me. I was in trouble but didnt know why. . 25 names later and the rest of the school were asked to leave. . . The policemen closed in on us, guns drawn and ready. Just then the principal said take them away, these are the killers you are looking for. . . I immediately lost conciousness, fell to the ground so hard that I woke up on the concrete floor. I had fallen from my 8ft high bunk bed and broken two teeth in my mouth. . .

Today I have a very crooked smile that would live with me till I die. . What a horrible nightmare.


Alusi Okija. . . .


Just writing!!!

Very good one. Thumbs up! Have u ever considered writting rap? With ur effective use of short sentences if u add rhythm to it, may churn out gud rap lyrics. Jst my 2 cents

I want to use this opportunity to invite all of you specially again to come & join this new club I initiated, it is called: Naija Young Writers Club, and the mission is to unite all aspiring and established youth (18 - 40yrs) writers in Nigeria to help us all achieve our dreams of becoming successful & renowned published authors in literary works. To that effect, we will be holding meetings, seminars, and also we will be doing joint critics & reviews amongst members & will also be inviting renowned Nigerian novelists/publishers/poets to help each member grow & become polished in his/her writings. We will also go as far as doing joint publishing of our works, for instance, publishing an annual anthology of our own short stories; to comprise of thrilling/informative/entertaining short stories written by members, and jointly promoting it both on media, internet, social networks, seminars and everywhere we can reach. later on, we will also be giving grants and assistances to members who have produced good manuscripts but have no money to fund their works, plus plenty other things to come, meanwhile, all aspiring and established young (18 to 40) Nigerian writers home or abroad, pls kindly come & join us & lets make a difference by writing our names in this history-making idea. Pls navigate through the literature or romance sections of this forum & u would see: Naija Young Writers Club- Join Now!, and kindly indicate your interest by dropping your email for further communications. Thank u guys. u can as well email me at: dailyy.newss@gmail.com, by indicating your interest in the writers club. Pls lets work jointly together in this regard, believe me, the sky will be our take off point. cheers & welcome to the world of african creative minds!

Hi. I'm preparing for the GMAT exam. Please help me critique the essay below. Thanks.


The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

“In the first four years that Montoya has served as mayor of the city of San Perdito, the population has decreased and the unemployment rate has increased. Two businesses have closed for each new business that has opened. Under Varro, who served as mayor for four years before Montoya, the unemployment rate decreased and the population increased. Clearly, the residents of San Perdito would be best served if they voted Montoya out of office and reelected Varro.”

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.


In the local newspaper article, the writer states that the residents of San Perdito would be best served if they voted out Montayo, the current mayor, and reelected Varro, the city's former mayor. This conclusion is obviously flawed because it is based on hollow assumptions that require further strengthening with additional information.

Firstly, the writer states that since Montayo got into office, the population of the city of Sanperdito has decreased. However, there is nothing, in the write-up, that shows the percentage decrease of the population of the the city of San Perdito. In order to convince readers, the writer should have stated the percentage decrease. This assumption is weak, because a negligible decrease in the populations-like 1 or 2 percent-is not enough reason to assume that the current mayor is not doing a good job. In addition to that, a decrease in the population is not equivalent to a decrease in a city's workforce. It is possible that as the population was shrinking, the employeable population doubled. This might be the main reason behind the increase in the unemployement rate in the city.

Secondly, the writer states that two businesses have closed for each new business that has opened. Here too, the writer does not reveal the type of businesses that have closed, and the type of businesses that are opening. Merely assuming that this is bad for the city is wrong. In a situation where the new businesses that are opening are way more profitable than the businesses that are closing, San Perdito might actually be on the path to economic growth. The writer should have stated the profitability of the new businesses, and compared it with that of the old businesses. This point will only be reasonable if the writer is able to prove that the total profitability of older businesses that closed is more than the total profitability of the newer ones that just opened.

Finally, the writer's reason for supporting Varro is just as flawed as his/her other points. An increase in population and decrease in unemployment rate means nothing if not supported with figures. It is possible that the population increase was less than 1 percent. This will mean that even though the population increased, it did not increase significantly. The same goes for the rate of unemployment. The writer needs to support his/her conclusion with statistical figures in order to convince readers that Varro is exactly who San Perdito residents need as mayor.

This is a poem i composed while i was teaching in a secondary school-
Girlfriends look for boyfriends,
girlfriends think it's funny,
running after their boyfriends,
soon they'll be a mummy!

I luv poem a lot, how may i start improving my skill on it cos i shoked a lot along d lyn.

maclatunji:

I think I get your predicament from that short sample of your work. No doubt, you do know what you want to say but don't know how to say it. My tips for overcoming this problem are:

1. Read more works of fiction related to the genre you are interested in as a writer. This will help to increase your word power and knowledge of the terminologies that might otherwise prove difficult for you to use.

2. Only write when you feel inspired. (If inspired, I can write ten 500-word articles in 6 hours). If not five 500 word articles in 24-hours. You see the difference? It flows when you are 'feeling it' but it becomes technical when you are not.

3. Relax: You can do it, so there is no need to fret!

I agree with you there. On my wordpress blog (abubaka.), I write a lot of articles, but I don't publish many. The reason is cause, whenever I get "that feeling", somebody just calls me up, or I get disturbed by the network or my application.

There's another...this is for my amazing girl, that wit decision, made me take her pride.
i remember, your first time, my angel...
Wit decision gladly taken, u held and guided me in.
Wit sweats neatly dripping, u were glad it ends wit me.
The road to heaven was bumpy, so up and down i go.
U said u won't go without me, so unto me u clinged and rode.
In tears u knw it'll go, but yet u made d road.
My love, my angel my own, i'll never let u go.
this same girl, inspired me to write hundreds of poems. I'll forever love you, MoyosoreOluwa, my angel

Life they say its a stage, elite categolise it while others lived it. The infantly, youth and the men stages in life
This stage in my life is so challanging, when the clock speaks (tic- tac) it becomes a reality for me to deliver.
Back in those days as a child, it was so easy and lovely courtesy dady's efforts. . . . To be continue

I'd love to write but I am not convinced with my English. While growing up I used to write alot of poems, on getting to the university a friend always mock my spoken english which discouraged me a great deal and I have not got my groove back afterwards. I really wish I could be a good writer.

permission to share elsewhere?

@Mostojr: Here are my thoughts regarding your post.

In the local newspaper article, the writer states that the residents of San Perdito would be best served if they voted out Montayo, the current mayor, and reelected Varro, the city's former mayor. This conclusion [b]is obviously flawed [/b]because it is [b]based on hollow assumptions [/b]that require further strengthening with additional information.

I feel the ending of your first paragraph my contain items that sounded a bit too obstinate. Rather than state that the view is "obviously flawed" and "completely hollow", i'd rather state that "The conclusion reached by this writer is based on several assumptions that appears to be lacking in merit and may require additional information."

Firstly, the writer states that since Montayo got into office, the population of the city of Sanperdito has decreased. However, there is nothing, in the write-up, that shows the percentage decrease of the population of the the city of San Perdito. In order to convince readers, the writer should have stated the percentage decrease. This assumption is weak, because a negligible decrease in the populations-like 1 or 2 percent-is not enough reason to assume that the current mayor is not doing a good job. In addition to that, a decrease in the population is not equivalent to a decrease in a city's workforce. It is possible that as the population was shrinking, the employeable population doubled. This might be the main reason behind the increase in the unemployement rate in the city.

I feel it's a bit dangerous to assume what has not been explicitly stated in the original article or what can not be backed up using data provided by the author. I haven't seen anywhere in the post where the author stated that the current mayor is not doing a good job. It could be that the author's intention is that Montoya is in fact doing a great job but lags behind relatively compared to Varro's achievements--- again, you can't tell unless explicitly stated in the article.

Additionally, your arguments as stated in this paragraph does not appear to nullify the author's position that voting out Montoya and reelecting Varro, will best serve the interest of the people, based on increasing unemployment and reduction in population. I feel that from the ending part of your post, you may have only succeeded in providing a plausible justification for the increase in the rate of unemployment. This doesn't necessarily argue against the view that unemployment rate has increased and the people do not like this.

You also mentioned that "a decrease in the population is not equivalent to a decrease in a city's workforce"....while this may be true, You and I also know that a decrease in population could also be a causative agent for an overall decrease in a city's workforce, so rather than use words that implies taking a definite position on an argument that could go either way such as "not equivalent", i may be inclined to write "a decrease in population may not necessarily imply a decrease in a city's workforce"

Secondly, the writer states that two businesses have closed for each new business that has opened. Here too, the writer does not reveal the type of businesses that have closed, and the type of businesses that are opening. Merely assuming that this is bad for the city is wrong.

You are the one being examined, your position is not to state that the writer's view must be wrong because what you think must be right. Your position is to point out the weakness in the writer's argument.

In a situation where the new businesses that are opening are way more profitable than the businesses that are closing, San Perdito might actually be on the path to economic growth.

Your argument in quotes above and subsequent lines imply that profitability of new business while ignoring the survival of existing business is enough indicator for economic growth.
What about the size of the businesses that are closing shops? If Dangote closed his cement manufacturing plant that employs thousands of Nigerians and the following week, my Uncle opens up his local shop where he sells palm wine and employs just two people, your argument implies that this isn't a situation that should ring alarm bells so long as my uncle makes profit?



Overall, i feel the things you may have missed from the original article are the assumptions stated by the the author;

-- That an increase in population and reduction in unemployment rate will best serve the interest of the people; while the latter may be true, the writer does not explain why the people must desire an increase in population growth which could increase the pressure and demand for limited economic resources.

--- That these two economic indicators are directly affected by the individual that has been elected as the Mayor; This line of thought ignores individual behavioral patterns, current economic cycle and important demographics such as retirement age. It could be the case that the global economy was experiencing a boom in the four years that Varro served and things have may have quickly changed since then. There's no evidence to suggest that unemployment may have varied differently if both Varro and Montoya have served in the same economic climate.

--- The writer had stated that while Montoya served as a Mayor, two businesses have closed for each business that have opened. This argument implicitly assumes that two businesses are better than one notwithstanding the overall contribution of each business to San Perdito's economy.This argument may also be further strengthened if similar statistics were provided for the duration of Varro's mayoral service. Without this, it may be difficult to see why reelecting Varro may best serve the people's interest.

@mactunji Lame u say? Well na me follow u write for ur post nah

Retrogressive journey to a level of consciousness below mind, which was the pre-thinking level of our distant ancestors and of animals , is not an option. 21st century is an age of heightened consciousness, religion has brought more delusion than revelation to many. Get your mind to transverse on the infinite axis, the realm of timelessness. The kingdom of God is here already, simply recognize it within yourself. All heaven is made by thoughts. The choices you make & the beauty of your soul on earth creates your imaginary heaven. The eternal presence is the only grandiose pinnacle that can take you beyond the confines of the mind. It is your only point of access into the timeless & formless realm of being. Far be it that my mind should stuck in the comforting quagmire of illusion. I chose to open my eyes to see the beauty of possible realities and be able to have the strength to consider the possibilities. To him who lends his mind to peruse on the ravings of a psycopath, certainly he also will retain some psychopatetic tendencies. To many it seems like a mental contortion, but to few who's mind is illumined like mine it is infinite intelligence & sacrosanct imagination. Ok pls pls pls how can i improve on such intrusive ideas above to make it into a book. Thanks for your constructive criticism in advance.

Whiteguru: @mactunji Lame u say? Well na me follow u write for ur post nah

Don't be offended my brother, I was just thinking to myself; would any girl really be impressed with those lines? They may have some value as per creativity but as for effectiveness- nah! I don't think so.

I didn't write that response to ridicule or offend you so see it in that spirit. Yes, I do appreciate your contribution.

@all, where have you guys been all along? Please post more of your work not just on this thread but in the literature section. Writing may just be the key that opens fame and fortune to some people here- don't hide that talent.

@Okija Juju, that short story was awesome ditto for the poem about the dead woman. There are some others I haven't read, will try to do so later.

Dear fellow writers,

You could also sign up for our site www.essaypractice.co.uk , post your articles and receive feedback.

Regards

PS: It's a new site and it's free. It is a partner site to our main one - www.africanvirtualschool.com , an online Maths and English revision site for Waec, Neco & Jamb students.

Sugardiva:


Very good one. Thumbs up! Have u ever considered writting rap? With ur effective use of short sentences if u add rhythm to it, may churn out gud rap lyrics. Jst my 2 cents

Thanks!!

No I havent given it any thought whatsoever. . I really find rhyming words to be very difficult and a gift I do not posess.

Dis my first work at fiction,its only few paragraphs.pls feel free 2 critisize
The park was deserted which was unusual at d tym of d day.Earlier,d sun was scourchy but after a morning of intense rainfall d atmosphere ws gloomy. Without lookin back n wit a briefcase in hand, he was sweating. Evryone he met on d way seem to be mindn der busines and dis gives him a sense of uneasines. He wiped the sweat tricklin down his neck wit a white handkercheif and at dat same instance he felt sweat tricklin down his spine to his brief wic he could do notin abt.
After waitin a litle while at the 2nd bstop and stil no bus,he switchd his tot to d troubles he went tru a couple of wks ago. A life of fulfilment,succes n establshment vanished afta just a cal from dave. "hello, richard am in trouble right nw and i nid ur help." dat was all dt brought his world crashin down. The cal only lastd 4 few secs and it spoke volume.
RICHARD ws stil in his reverie when he heard 2 guys wisperin behind him. Wen dey got 2 d park he cud nt tel and wat he ws sure of ws wat dey wer discusin ws nt pleasant. The taller amng d 2 guys ws in a state of anger n it ws all in his face. Richard cud hear d other 1 tellin him"...not nw,i tod u he is d 1." suddenly,dey bot stopd wisperin and dey startd movin 2wrds him.
I dont no how dis might end mysv in btw i usd fone 2 typ hop dos typos are permitd?

Iliveon: I'd love to write but I am not convinced with my English. While growing up I used to write alot of poems, on getting to the university a friend always mock my spoken english which discouraged me a great deal and I have not got my groove back afterwards. I really wish I could be a good writer.

Becos sm1 mockd u abt ur spoken english u stopd. Spoken english has notin 2 do wit wat u rite as long as u knw hw 2 use dem in expresin ursv.let me shook u,my spoken eng ws bad as anytin durin ma sec sch days at ss3 i cudnt dif d use of ws n is wen speakn. But gues wat,i ws 1 of d privilegd 12 who had credit in english out of abt 180 students. Do u want 2 live d rest of ur lyf in pity jst because of dis excus of urs.hw do u want 2 be succesful wen u dnt want 2 try. Bro,many lives r hangin on dat litle line of poem ur are hidin.

i usually just write whatever comes to my mind, here is one i just thought up. Critique it




She had the face of a goddess. Aphrodite at her best. Her skin had an even chocolate tone without blemish. No spots, no wrinkles, just pure uniformity. Her eyes were captivating and you could be enthralled by staring for too long. It was like a bottomless black hole that could suck you in. Full luscious lips that begged to be kissed. Every time she opened her mouth to talk, smile or laugh, her lips beckoned on him for contact. Prominent cheek bones supported her taut skin making them firm. Her head was perfectly placed on her long neck where her ear rings dangled.
Flowing black hair just stopped short of her shoulders that was full and rich and smelled like fresh oranges. The way she leaned back on his couch accentuated her full length. All six feet of pure beauty. Her legs stretched to eternity and her flowing red dress gave away a glimpse of her thighs. His heart raced. He moved over to her in a slow calculated manner, placed one hand on her neck and brought her lips to his where they exchanged warmth. The room seemed to spin to the sound of slow dramatic music. His other hand reached for her thighs where he slowly and carefully made his way upwards her dress. In anticipation, he jumped ahead of himself and released into his trousers and the CD seemed to skip and his illusion was shattered. She picked up her things and left him sobbing.

ojn: i usually just write whatever comes to my mind, here is one i just thought up. Critique it




She had the face of a goddess. Aphrodite at her best. Her skin had an even chocolate tone without blemish. No spots, no wrinkles, just pure uniformity. Her eyes were captivating and you could be enthralled by staring for too long. It was like a bottomless black hole that could suck you in. Full luscious lips that begged to be kissed. Every time she opened her mouth to talk, smile or laugh, her lips beckoned on him for contact. Prominent cheek bones supported her taut skin making them firm. Her head was perfectly placed on her long neck where her ear rings dangled.
Flowing black hair just stopped short of her shoulders that was full and rich and smelled like fresh oranges. The way she leaned back on his couch accentuated her full length. All six feet of pure beauty. Her legs stretched to eternity and her flowing red dress gave away a glimpse of her thighs. His heart raced. He moved over to her in a slow calculated manner, placed one hand on her neck and brought her lips to his where they exchanged warmth. The room seemed to spin to the sound of slow dramatic music. His other hand reached for her thighs where he slowly and carefully made his way upwards her dress. In anticipation, he jumped ahead of himself and released into his trousers and the CD seemed to skip and his illusion was shattered. She picked up her things and left him sobbing.

Gud one,luv d way u combine dos words.ti brought life into d who scene. But d conclusion seem abrupt.

Nice Thread. I'll post something very soon.

i think i ve found my home....
i actually gave up writing a long time ago
a friend told me i totally suck at it so i stopped
reading through this thread makes me want to write again
but my friend drowned the fire....
i need to ignite!!!

I need ur opinion on this


Ipadabo Abija
I wish writer were permitted to re-mix their writings the same manner singers do. The man I killed in my last write-up but wants to come back to life but I’m scared his resurrection nullifies my story from the point of his death. And in all fairness, I killed him too soon, in the first paragraph of my story.

I should not have played God but it is my world! I give my characters life and I reserve the right to take that life at any moment without consultations.

He was a self-acclaimed rapist with no real scandal to his name, he enjoyed the attention but lacked the guts to live up to his self-acclamation. Wicked thoughts always flowed through his veins but he struggled with his conscience whenever he indulged in his ugly fantasies….

Time After Time

Yesterday with a rose
Today is in blues
Tomorrow with a promise of tinsel
....and gladly we await!

Yesteryear with a rainbow
This year in a quest
To grease the decade
.... and courageously we start counting!

Though it seems lost
Though we watch in quaver
To what the century holds to behold
...... and surprisingly we behold a ray!

Hope filled with anxiety
Future filled with passion
Life filled with splendor
.....and gladly we grin with assurance!