My broda dis is a very big temptation pls run away as fast as ur leg can carri. Honestly u ll loose ur respect and at the long run wen the boy grows up he ll see u as a gold digger and he ll not respect u as a big uncle he ll feel dat his dad made u wat u are,even ur wife wuld not have regard 4 u anymore . 4 privatecy reason stick to ur job.

the man might soon become the 'husband'. he will start interfering in your marital issues, telling you what (not) to do. if you quarrel with your wife, e don bad be that as the man go dey use 'power' dey bully you. i am against it.

My own take on this is that engage yourself in fasting and praying telling God to help you choose the right path because either ways comes with it add and disadd.

I second CC, and i am against it too. I think you can make this work though. Tell him that you are willing to work as a consultant/adviser on a part time basis for now. Once you are able to set up your own business, then you can kind of work on the two at the same time depending on how stressful the situation is. Never sell your ability to keep your dignity as a man. It is a very very rare character trait to find someone that will not fall hand in this situation. If they see that you are becoming too pompous or rich, they start suspecting all sorts. I vote for part-time consultancy work, maybe on the weekend. Then at least, you are not losing your primary source of income or deserting your inlaws in their time of need. Let the man give you access to emails, records and outstanding jobs so you can even work from your house and go on site when necessary. Goodluck.

Keep your job @ the bank, mixing business and pleasure dont go well @ all. Plus the BIL is int he wings waiting, I would avoid taking the job @ all cost.

no

OP, this is not as complicated as people are making it seem. Here is the solution. You need to test the waters. DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB YET. Start working with your FIL on a part time basis, even if it's just one day a week, perhaps just on Saturdays. Within a short period of time, you will be able to tell if the job is for you or not. Goodluck!!

Guy, ride on jor. Dont mind those tellin u nt to take d job

Guy, ride on jor. Dont mind those tellin u nt to take d job

Excuse me people, when did being identified for one's ability and adding value to a business owned by an in-law become gold-digging? This thread has shown that a lot of Nigerians are pretentious and do not trust their in-laws. Ironically, you would want your in-laws to trust you.

Let me too advice the FIL. FIL, think about this very well O. What if SIL steals all of your company's money and abandons you and your daughter? What if he likes the position of power that you have entrusted him with so much that he decides to get rid of you and your son?

What if your SIL is incompetent and ruins your company?

If the FIL can overlook all of these risks and offer you the job, I think it would be a betrayal to snob him and his offer just because of pride.

I strongly believe that one should never take a decision out of pride, it is wrong. I am not saying you should accept the job if you don't want it but don't base that decision on PRIDE. All your in-laws have done so far is to honour you from what you have said.

@Maclatunji how is it a betrayal to politely turn down the FIL's offer? There is nothing wrong if you dont have your pride or dont care about your privacy. but if these two things matter to you as a man then everything is wrong with working and getting paid by ur father in-law. I have said it all" if he pays you,indirectly he owns you!

I want to say every one that have given you diverse opinions are right. Personally, i don't see anything wrong working with/for your In-laws. You should even be happy that they trust you that much to want to involve you in running the business. While, i think you should take it, you should also know that everything will not be rosy. You're definitely going to have some misunderstanding with your father in-law just like you will have with your wife at some point in your marraige, so just get rid of the ego and help out your father in-law. Mind you, he's like your father. I don't know if you guys know the meaning of Father In-law. It simply means your father by law.

afam4eva: I want to say every one that have given you diverse opinions are right. Personally, i don't see anything wrong working with/for your In-laws. You should even be happy that they trust you that much to want to involve you in running the business. While, i think you should take it, you should also know that everything will not be rosy. You're definitely going to have some misunderstanding with your father in-law just like you will have with your wife at some point in your marraige, so just get rid of the ego and help out your father in-law. Mind you, he's like your father. I don't know if you guys know the meaning of Father In-law. It simply means your father by law.

I seriously wonder O.

3strike: @Maclatunji how is it a betrayal to politely turn down the FIL's offer? There is nothing wrong if you dont have your pride or dont care about your privacy. but if these two things matter to you as a man then everything is wrong with working and getting paid by ur father in-law. I have said it all" if he pays you,indirectly he owns you!

It would be a betrayal of the implied confidence that his wife and her family have in him if he rejects the offer JUST BECAUSE OF PRIDE. If he rejects it because of thoughts of career progression,I have no problem with that. If he rejects it because his FIL has shown that he is not trustworthy, I have no problem with that. If he rejects it because his wife has a bossy streak, I have no problem with that and so on.(You get the picture).

But to reject it just because of pride has so many negatives attached to it than the name-calling and occasional ego-bruising he thinks he is running from. God has a way of dealing with proud people.

Where is the poster sef? Am sure he took the job already.. Too bad. @maclatunji see how you have misguided the poor man.

3strike: Where is the poster sef? Am sure he took the job already.. Too bad. @maclatunji see how you have misguided the poor man.

No, he hasn't taken the job, he says he will be having a meeting with his FIL over the weekend. If his FIL is half-the-man I think he is, I envisage that OP will leave that meeting saying 'let me give it a trial'. If FIL as a manager cannot get his target for COO to agree, then maybe he doesn't deserve him as an employee.

chaircover: Mac I probbably wont explain this right but I hope thay you get the jist.

As a woman I want to respect my husband and I dont want anyone disrespecting him either. He is the second in command after God. He is the head of the home. He "governs" the household and I trust his judgements. I hold him high esteem. I look up to him for security, advise etc in short I am the director of his fan club . . . . so do you see where I am going?

He goes off and works for my rich dad and my dad is paying him wages to put food on our table. . . . . so indirectly my dad is feeding me and the kids . . . .

Gradualy the disrespect will creep in. There will be times that he will have to jump simply because its my dad asking him to do it and whether we accept it or not, there will be squabbles betweeen FIL and SIL.

As for me, I dont want anyone disrespecting my husband, and so even if my dad was Dangote; my husband will have his own income no mattter how little and will not work for my father. I am sure that there are many capable job applicants out there who can do even better than what the poster is going to bring into the company.

A woman will always be a woman and the day she asks for something and he doesnt give it to her is the day that he will hear that shebi its my dads money

I get your point but maybe I am more Machavelian (regarding these sort of issues) than most. I would just tell you that your father's nice little business was running aground before I came and if I hear any more of that rubbish from you I will sell the company and go to Kuka-Munga with all of your daddy's money. That should put you in your place.

Then, I would tell wifey that I am joking but give her a stern warning never to be petty with me, dad or no dad.

My dear de advice have for dat u have to save some to money. So dat u will use it and open ur own shop because when dere litter brother group up dey will ask u to come donw ok.

You_need_God_wisdom&direction!

Thanks all for your wonderful contributions...like mac said..i don't want to betray the trust and confidence reposed in me.those guys have been so wonderful to me and i won't let pride come in the way.

i intend to take the offer...will discuss extensively with my FIL..and possibly table my own conditions to him..will promptly resign once he agrees to my conditions...i also intend to work for max of 5years and am out.

God bless you all.

Resign from my present job..i mean.

Its your choice.
It may work out well and be a blessing.
There are many examples of men working in the employment of their fathers-in-law and getting on fine.
It may be an economic bondage if your in-law uses it to oppress you and your wife uses it to misbehave.
A former colleague married the daughter of one of the former MDs of a first generation Nigerian Bank.
This colleague enjoyed rapid promotion courtesy of the father-in-law.
After some years,the wife began to flirt with other men openly and was totally insubordinate in many ways.
One day,the woman went out and didn't return home till the following day.
My colleague threw her out and that was where the real trouble started.
His father-in-law who all along could not do anything about his daughter's misbehavior ''ordered' him to take the woman back.
This colleague refused to comply.
The matter dragged for about 2 years and the husband still refused to accept her back.
Eventually his father-in-law simply influenced his dismissal and he was dismissed for some offense which many commit but do not get dismissed for.He lost that job because he disagreed with his father-in-law.

I don't know.


shouldn't the "rightness " or "wrongness" of it depend on your personal perspective.

This is a very old thread. I wonder what the OP eventually did. But is the issue because it is the Father-in-law of the husband that people are advising the OP not to take the job? I run my mother's company and my wife works with me in the same company yet the respect between my mother and my Lady is still there and clear. Despite all the stories og MILs and DILs bitchfighting each other, I don't have that issue. Is it because I am the man in this particular situation?

I think working with/for family is based on the maturity and personality of the parties involved. Personally, I hope the OP took the job.

he said he intended to take the job.

assuming of course, the story is not fake.

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