Decent Jokes For Decent People! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:41pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”  Standing in front of a boutique I noticed an impatient looking young man (Mikuz) approach an attractive woman (booqee) “would you mind talking to me for a few minutes?” he asked her “why?” she countered suspiciously.”my wife (vicky) has been in this shop for a long time” the man explained “But I know she’ll come out if she see me talking to you” “Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank G-d, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!” Mikuz say cheese! Q. How do you get a mouse to smile? A. Say cheese!!  1 Like |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:50pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?” Patient: Doctor! I have a serious problem. I can never remember what I just said. Doctor: When did you first notice this problem? Patient: What problem?  A man died and went up to heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs One said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was just one man. After getting even closer he realized it was his friend Harry. “Hey Harry” the man questioned “what in the world are you doing here? Your wife bosses you around more then anybody.” “I don’t know” Harry replied “my wife told me to stand here.” more to come!  |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 10:20pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
very very good jokes, swtchicgurl!!!! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by angelsing(m): 10:32pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
nice jokes gf.. Seriously ur skin looks so radiant. Hope its not photo shop ooo?. No offence but if dat skin is for real, it is really amazing..smiles |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 11:24pm On Mar 26, 2012 |
angelsing: nice jokes gf.. Seriously ur skin looks so radiant. Hope its not photo shop ooo?. No offence but if dat skin is for real, it is really amazing..smiles tnx sweetheart! i'm humbled by ur comment *blushing* it's simply me ooo just doing my thing *modelling*  |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 12:57am On Mar 27, 2012 |
Good yokes!but remeber dat some ŵėřē copy-copy! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 1:02am On Mar 27, 2012 |
bright007: Good yokes!but remeber dat some ŵėřē copy-copy!  unbelievable! the first nice comment i'm getting from you!tnx! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 1:08am On Mar 27, 2012 |
 swtchicgurl:Wats unbelievable? |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 3:50am On Mar 27, 2012 |
Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.” |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bright007(f): 6:51am On Mar 27, 2012 |
swtchicgurl: Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.”I must say,seriuosly dat this one no funny at all.even d original version from d bible no be joke |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Ruqaya(f): 8:48am On Mar 27, 2012 |
Very funny and nice jokes. More grease to ur elbow. |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 9:15am On Mar 27, 2012 |
so, you mean am not decent? |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 9:29am On Mar 27, 2012 |
Thank you swtchicgurl! U just made my day! Dis d funniest thread i've seen so far. Keep it up! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by ekeroyal(m): 3:43pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
swtchicgurl: Once two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first lady screamed “don’t cut him in half I would rather the second lady get the whole son-in-law.” Ah Hah said King Solomon with a big smile I now know who is the real mother-in-law. For a only the real mother-in-law would stand quietly while her son-in-law gets cut in half.” Besides this useless and stale joke, others are nice. Well done. |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by jackpot(f): 4:53pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
someone should tickle me so that I can laugh! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 6:02pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
cool and nice |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by jackpot(f): 6:20pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
~vicky~:hi, you are cute |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 6:30pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
jackpot: hi, you are cute thanks |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 9:19pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
booqee: Thank you swtchicgurl! U just made my day! Ruqaya: Very funny and nice jokes. More grease to ur elbow. ~vicky~: thanks girls! u're the bestestssss |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by swtchicgurl: 11:21pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
MORE JOKES: A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch." What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican. Mother-in-law's Funeral A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I thought I saw her move! Blonde weighs baby At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first. "That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt." |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Ruqaya(f): 12:46pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
Very funny and cool jokes, i like 'em |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 2:23pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
where r the jokes?? |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by angelz(f): 3:12pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
9ice |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by baroong: 4:24pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
funny Post me likey |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by bunmioguns(m): 5:12pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
u got me laffing. . .kip it up |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 5:28pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
dani1luv: where r the jokes?? inside ur boxers he goat |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 5:31pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
~vicky~:stop kissing me. .am not a lesbian  |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 5:46pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
ok u re gay sorry 0 he- goat |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by dani1luv: 5:53pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
~vicky~:me?? cant you see!!! am no longer a male now a female!! otondo!! |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by CArt(m): 5:57pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
swtchicgurl: MORE JOKES: Cooooooooool,keep up the good work. |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by olufunmibi(m): 6:12pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
Nice one sis. |
| Re: Decent Jokes For Decent People! by Nobody: 7:34pm On Mar 28, 2012 |
dani1luv: now a shegoat nt castrated fowl |
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