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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) (16089 Views)
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I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 8:21am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Please how can I make my new husband understand that I am not yet ready to have kids? I have said everything under the sun, but he don't seem to understand. I luv him very much but I want to complete my study before I start having my kids. I told him that, but he insist I have atleast one, and then complete my study. And before marriage, I told him my plan i mean this has never been a secret to him. Now suddenly he have changed his mind and seem to be sticking to it. I don't want to disrespect my husband, but then again, I am not at all ready for motherhood. Please how do I make him come to term with this decision of mine? Or if you have any other suggestion please do say. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 8:38am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Personally, for my own, I wuld like the idea of enjoying my wife for some time before putting a baby in her and wrecking her body. Be sure t use those exact words when talking to him about it. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Kadata(m): 8:43am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 9:13am On Apr 18, 2012 |
So Rokiatu got married without seeking permission from, or at least intimating her numerous suitors on Nairaland! O ma se o. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 9:15am On Apr 18, 2012 |
2buff: Personally, for my own, I wuld like the idea of enjoying my wife for some time before putting a baby in her and wrecking her body. When all failed, I said even worst then that. And he called me too superficial. He also said, is better for a woman to born young, so she can later work on her body and still look better, instead of leaving it when you are a bit older. This seem to be a lose case for me, I really need more defense on my side. No matter what I say, he have an answer to it. LOL |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 9:16am On Apr 18, 2012 |
pro01: So Rokiatu got married without seeking permission from, or at least intimating her numerous suitors on Nairaland! O ma se o. LOL permission ni |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by semid4lyfe(m): 9:54am On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: But you're superficial aren't you? Meanwhile, which study you wan complete. . .Fashion & Beauty studies, Indian Celebrities, Cinematography & Culture abi wetin? [size=4pt]If to sey dem dey take the no of friends for Nairaland collect money for Bank, Roky for don become Billionaire by now[/size] 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by taryour(f): 10:05am On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: ur husband is very right,i think u should av ur baby now as ur hubby wnts.isnt it better u obey thier wish rather than they looking out for someone who would obey them. Since u av tried ur best n he as objected then pls av ur child,it wunt disturb ur studies. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Daresh(f): 10:12am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Tell him you are ready to try for a baby and go and put in ur birth control. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by MissIfe(f): 10:26am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Daresh: Tell him you are ready to try for a baby and go and put in ur birth control. My thought exactly. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 10:32am On Apr 18, 2012 |
Daresh: Tell him you are ready to try for a baby and go and put in ur birth control. Miss_Ife: You people do not know the man I am married to. He is as smart as they come. Right now I am on birth control. Let say if I was to do as you said Daresh, and lie to him and stay on birth control. After let say two months of trying and no result, trust me he will take me for a check up. Infact not to make me feel bad, he will take the both of us for check up. You people do not know who I am dealing with here, I can not play smart with him. semid4lyfe: Semi4life, this is a serious matter. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by maclatunji: 12:15pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: Please how can I make my new husband understand that I am not yet ready to have kids? I have said everything under the sun, but he don't seem to understand. I luv him very much but I want to complete my study before I start having my kids. I told him that, but he insist I have atleast one, and then complete my study. And before marriage, I told him my plan i mean this has never been a secret to him. Now suddenly he have changed his mind and seem to be sticking to it. I don't want to disrespect my husband, but then again, I am not at all ready for motherhood. Please how do I make him come to term with this decision of mine? Rokiatu, I hope you don't take this as a personal attack but Girl Grow Up! You are now a wife! All of that shakara in your single days is out the window now. Once you agreed to get married, you also agreed to get pregnant if God allows from the first night! All the other stories about studies and blah! Blah!! Blah!!! is thrash. You had better start having those babies now! If you didn't want babies, why get married? I see that you already take your husband for granted- he says he wants a baby- you say: Yes sir! I am sure you don't want to come here and start sobbing over another woman having a child for your husband out of wedlock in a few years from now- you said: God forbid! However, this is how it starts! 8 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 12:21pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Rokiatu got married without inviting me, her fellow Aussie? |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by semid4lyfe(m): 12:34pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: Ok, my aplogies I'm with your Hussie on this one. . .GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS! |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Rexious(m): 12:48pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
I am not married myself but what ur husband is trying to do is to have 'Assurance'. He may not really want the baby that urgent, he only want to be sure that no one is plucking from his tree. that my own o 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 12:52pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Oh dear me |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 12:54pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
jennykadry: Oh dear meLol |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 12:55pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
maclatunji: Take it easy sir geeezz LOL Pregnancy on the first night? U are indeed funny. jennykadry: Rokiatu got married without inviting me, her fellow Aussie? LOL forgive me ooo. But Genny, what is ur view on the matter? I mean Ur honest opinion. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:00pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
How many more semesters have you got to go? what does your husband do for a living(if you don't mind me asking), where do you both live? what do you think about kids? can you both handle a child now, I mean are you both ready mentally, physically and financially? If you can answer those questions maybe then I can give you my honest answer cos yea, I was once in your situation years back |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:01pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Lol Debrief, for a second there I was lost for words |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:03pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
jennykadry: Lol Debrief, for a second there I was lost for wordsLol, I can imagine. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by KevinII(m): 1:05pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Rokiatu get him pregnant 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:12pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
jennykadry: 3 semesters jennykadry: He work at a pharmacy. Work part time, school part time. We married very young you see LOL, we are both still schooling. jennykadry:Down under. jennykadry:Absolutely love them, and would love to have them someday not now. LOL jennykadry:His answers, Mentally yes he is ready physically yes he is ready Financially -yep Mine Mentally_ no Physically- no financially- yes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:13pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Kevin_II: Rokiatu get him pregnant How |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by maclatunji: 1:15pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: You better believe it. Of course it is almost impossible to get pregnant on the first night because those little guys have a long swim to make. However, the seed could be planted- don't tell me you think it doesn't happen! Seriously, anybody and I mean anybody that asks you to argue with or confront your husband over this is one of these: 1. One who does not know what marriage entails for the woman. 2. Does not wish you well. 3. Is naive or not very smart. 4. Arrogant and due to fail in marriage as a woman (except she has a change in mindset). 5. A very foolish man indeed! When your interests and that of your husband clashes, your husband's interest prevails if you are a good wife except on two occasions: 1. Your life is at risk by obeying your husband. 2. Your husband wants you to offend God with his demand. In this case, your husband has 100% exclusive right to prevail. However, he shouldn't have deluded you into thinking that he wouldn't bother you with it after marriage but maybe you wouldn't marry him if he had been honest from the beginning. Girls love men that lie to them and despise those who are honest and sincere with them. Too bad, you bear the brunt of your folly(ies) as wives. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:35pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Rokiatu I am not God that gives children but my advise will be one of you finish school, get a good job and then start a family my reasons are as follows 1. Financially it might be too hard for you both seeing that he works part time. 2. You will have to stop working and stay home until that baby is old enough to start school or you pay for daycare which is like a 100 dollars per day here in western australia, I don't know about sydney. 3. My husband could afford taking care of me, so I did not have qualms conceiving whilst in school BUT he was very supportive especially during my exams, at some point he had to take the baby and they spent a night in a hotel just to allow me study. 4. You might miss a few semesters if you are not getting enough support. 5. The reason why I asked where you both live is to know if you both pay your rent or live with a family member, renting in australia is expensive can you both handle that? 6. Huggies nappy cost heaps and I am seriously telling you both that you have to be ready for that. 7. One of you need to be done with school atleast and have a good job, I know how much pharmacist assistants get per hour hence my point. A good career earning job gives so much security 8. I know if you are a PR or citizen center link helps very well for low income earners, so maybe you guys might be able to get by financially. If he wants kids, he needs to be sure of himself and I don't think he is yet neither do i think he is mentally ready for kids. You know why? cos he is more concerned about having kids early, being the youngest dad, working on your body now than later, than having kids for really wanting them because you think it is time. I think he is in a phase right now that MIGHT fizzle out I don't know what you both wanno do but I love kids and would advise every woman to taste what motherhood is all about. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 1:41pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
jennykadry: Rokiatu Thank you very much. Great advice. This advice is right on point. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by born2boink(m): 2:03pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
I do not think marriage is my force if anyone is not ready for motherhood, how would you expect a man to keep wife in the house to be eating free foods,free cloths and shelter,using jelweries and probably car ride because of pussy alone, if the woman dump him later, the man is at lost, I will rather advice him Bleep pussy around and that would save him a lot because the benefit of every marriage are children and if a woman try to delay that, she might have something else in mind, what is the man gain if she eventually dump him before motherhood time 1 Like |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by maclatunji: 2:20pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
^Rokiatu needs to pray hard because without searching I can see 'fire on the mountain O'. I hope they can be mature enough to surf through the challenges though. I am being honest and don't wish you ill Rokiatu. I wouldn't benefit from you having problems- I hope you understand that! |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 3:05pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
rokiatu: No worries mate. |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by dayokanu(m): 3:09pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
Roki, That nyansh for your profile pic no resemble one wey dey Kongo every night 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood. (how Can I Make Him Understand?) by Nobody: 3:17pm On Apr 18, 2012 |
maclatunji: ^Rokiatu needs to pray hard because without searching I can see 'fire on the mountain O'. I hope they can be mature enough to surf through the challenges though. They will be fine so please drop this negative side of you. All they both need is lectures on marriage (counseling, seminars, therapy e.t.c) and they will be fine. There are still young and yes they will make mistakes, infact they have to make mistakes, mistake is inevitable, it will happen but they have to be ready, ready for it when it happens, ready to correct it together and ready stay strong together after correcting it. Marriage is not easy abeg, do you know how many things my husband has asked me off me that I refused him till date and vice versa? numerous. |
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