Hi All!

I am new to this forum. Currently I am dating a Nigerian man. I can't remember the name of his tribe. Mother's Day is coming up, and as an African American woman I enjoy giving gifts during this time (women who I adore & are old enough to be my mother). Is it inappropriate to send my boyfriend's mother a gift for Mother's Day. I will have to send it to Nigeria, hopefully I will receive some responses in time. Also, my boyfriend and I have not made it to the 90 day mark yet but we seem to be hitting it off really well. He has shown me pictures of his family, and talks highly of them. It may be better to ask him, but I wanted to know what you thought before I asked if it was ok to send her a gift. Also I welcome gift suggestions: nice picture frames, perfumed lotions, jewelry, household items etc. By the way, his mom is in her 70's.

Thank you in advance for your advise

AmeriBeauty: Hi All!

I am new to this forum. Currently I am dating a Nigerian man. I can't remember the name of his tribe. Mother's Day is coming up, and as an African American woman I enjoy giving gifts during this time (women who I adore & are old enough to be my mother). Is it inappropriate to send my boyfriend's mother a gift for Mother's Day. I will have to send it to Nigeria, hopefully I will receive some responses in time. Also, my boyfriend and I have not made it to the 90 day mark yet but we seem to be hitting it off really well. He has shown me pictures of his family, and talks highly of them. It may be better to ask him, but I wanted to know what you thought before I asked if it was ok to send her a gift. Also I welcome gift suggestions: nice picture frames, perfumed lotions, jewelry, household items etc. By the way, his mom is in her 70's.

Thank you in advance for your advise

Lord have Mercy. Sista, I'm an African-American myself, and I'm telling you that you need to slow the hell down with this dude. You've been in this relationship less than 90 days and you sending the dudes mamma a gift? LOL!! I'm sorry.. I've gotta be real with you right now, don't be silly. I don't know you from Adam, but you are my AA sista and there for I care about your well being and don't wish to see you fall into the same trap as many, many more of our fellow sistas have with loads of these Nigerian guys. Please slow down, and take your time with this dude, and feel him out for at least a good year or two before you start doing things like sending his momma flowers and stuff.

Many of these dudes are sly as shit, and use good hearted AA sistas like you for all kinds of miscellaneous evil deeds, and then they disappear on you like you were nothing after they've got what they wanted out of you; leaving you thinking you'all had something special going on, while in the mean time they had a whole other family waiting on them back in Naija, or some other objective more important than you to get to. LOL!!! Watch yourself good sista.

This is a trick question but I would drop my 2 cents.

Depending largely on the type of family your man comes from, this your honest intentions can make or mar this relationship so watch it. In some quarters, this might be seen as a bribe, trying to hard to buy their love, acceptance while a few would see it as it is, a honest gift.a handful. Still would accept the gift now and accept you automatically but that means you'd have to keep giving to stay in their good books; the love or acceptance stops the day you stop giving.

Now, if you are not bothered about whatever the long term effect this gift would have on you, this relationship and must give, I suggest you keep it simple, low key but thoughtful. So my ideal list of gifts would be:
A simple scarf with her name knitted on it.
A cardigan with her initials.


Btw, I noticed you said you can't remember the name of your mans tribe. We are Africans and place more value on our loved ones committing to memory stuff like our favorite dish, our local market days, our village name as opposed to birthdays and gift sharing.

Goodluck girl!

How about a phone call to on the said day to wish her happy mother's day

Here is an update.....when I asked him how he felt he said that it was totally up to me and he did not mind. When I asked what would his mother think, he just laughed and said she would love it and that she loves that kind of thing. He said that he would go with me to pick something out, but he suggest something that she could use personally. I was shocked that he chose suggested something that was fragranced....so Bath & Body Works it shall be....I think.....hmmmm.

Thanks so much for your input. I will update you when I she responds.

AmeriBeauty:
Here is an update.....when I asked him how he felt he said that it was totally up to me and he did not mind. When I asked what would his mother think, he just laughed and said she would love it and that she loves that kind of thing. He said that he would go with me to pick something out, but he suggest something that she could use personally. I was shocked that he chose suggested something that was fragranced....so Bath & Body Works it shall be....I think.....hmmmm.

Thanks so much for your input. I will update you when I she responds.

I came here looking for gift suggestions too but the toxic response under your post got me wondering what some people have been through and i wish they experience genuine love.

Hope your love story too always gets amazing endlessly ..
Enjoy.