[b]hello everyone. i need your advice seriously on the issues i'm about to narrate here. Excerpts:-

I am a 25 year-old Youths Corps member serving here in Abuja. I met this sweet girl on camp during our 3 weeks orientation programme back in March, and although she was a bit reluctant at first, we started dating. I later developed some strong feelings for her, because I noticed that this babe had an effect on me that I had never felt before, an effect that no other girl I had dated in the past had on me. She too later confessed to me that she had fallen in love with me.

One afternoon, we were together in my house. She asked whether I had had any babe where I came from. I told her NO. She then asked me whether I had had sex with any girl before. I started laughing at that point because I thought it was so funny. As I was always joking, I told her that I had slept with so many girls; I couldn’t even remember their names!! I then gave her some factious names. Little did I know that she took what I said seriously. I had to apologize to her later on.

Last week when we were together, our conversation turned back to that day. I asked her why she asked me that question the other day, and she said she wanted to tell me something. She made me promise her that whatever I felt, I wouldn’t use it against her.

According to her, when she was 16 years and in her first year in the university, she had some family problems. Her parents separated and they had problems making ends meet. One evening she was coming from a lecture when one man came over to her and started telling her things about herself that only she knew. The man said she needed serious prayers and fasting and that she should follow him.

According to her (because she claimed that she didn’t know how she got there), the next thing she remembered was she was in a room that was white all over. There they performed some funny rituals on her. Then on, at almost the same time each day, she will have glimpses of being in that same room, and that a man that she knew wasn’t her boy-friend then will be having sex with her. She was like it was as if someone had hypnotized her and she didn’t know what she was doing.

After some weeks, her boyfriend told her behavior had changed. He then asked her whether she had seen her period that month. The girl was so shocked, she slapped him.
But after some persuasion, she said she hadn’t seen it and it was already 3 weeks overdue. The boy took her to the clinic to have a pregnancy test, and lo and behold!!! It came out positive. She was so devastated, she contemplated killing herself. The guy had to take her to another place where she had a D&C to get rid of the pregnancy.

Afterwards, she realized that she had pains in her belly that was a result of the D&C.
Her boyfriend ran from pillar to post to help her in those trying times. At the end of everything, the guy called her and told her that he didn’t feel that he could continue with the relationship. He gave excuses that she was still young, blah, blah…

All this while she was telling me, I was hoping that she was pulling my legs, but when tears started coming out of her eyes, I knew it was all true.

Afterwards, she continued with her life and met another guy whom she fell deeply in love with. Maybe due to her naivity, she kept on doing things the guy told her to do, and as a result the guy starrted being unfaithful to her. it got to a stage that he refused to call her anhymore, and she was always calling and begging him. What made her finally lose confidence in guys was when she caught him with another girl, and the guy didn't even feel bad. She then vowed never to have anything to do with any guy again. She kept this vow until we met in camp(and as such her reluctance to go out with me).

recently the girl told me that these two guys from her past were now coming back to beg her to reconsider them. It even got to a point that the second guy started threatening her that whether she likes it or not, that this time next year she'll be his wife. he said he'll give her a few months to think about it.

Right now I’m so confused. I really love this girl and I know she loves me so much too. Recently she accused me, telling me that my behavior to her had changed. I really do not want to lose this girl, but anytime we are together, these pictures of her being raped always cross my mind. Also i intend going for my masters' degree sometimes soon, and this will take me away from her for about a year and some months. I'm afraid that something might happen in my absence. i don't know what to do now. Please help a brother out.  [/b]

I read your long treatise through with much patience - but na wa o -

who is confused - yourself or the girl? cos there a few high points in your story that i dont understand.

Ok - u joked to her say your d ick don enter plenty p ussy - but u still told her it a lie - but i ask u - is it true?

then you said she found herself in a room with white sheet and she will be feeling a strager having sex with her - ok - is that a dream or is it a reality?

ok - now she got pregnant - by who? by the boyfriend or by the men in the dream?

ok - then the cheater cam along again - then she got cheated and she left him - okay wetin e the relevant of all the story to you?

why r u confused? u never put d ick inside yummy p ussy?

u want to marry her? or u said those two guys are coming back - how does she feel about them? so u dont trust her - because you think something will happen when u r gone? like what? like someone attack her or someone put d ick inside her p ussy?

well - my own be say - u too talk story -

you even say things that are not - my advice - go get another girl - if this one fails you - u go back to the new one.

Chikena.

@poster,
your story is touching but it is all about FEAR and INSECURITY from your path. For the lady to tell you that aspect of her life must have been a result of trust and confidence she had in you and not necessarily because of you story.

Let me ask you few questions:
Do you love the lady to the point of marrying her?
Did she or her attitude to you show that she want a life-long commitment with you?
If the above are YES, then her past does not matter. The story she narrated was nothing but her trial. She was molested, cheated. That does not mean she was lose. In fact you should be proud of her unless she has other imperfections that bother you.

If you are going for your masters after service, plan in advance.

My advice is that you take a second look at her and be patience. Forget about what other guys are doing plan to win. Use the period you are together to know her more and measure her commitment. That would enable you know how to trust her in your absense. Talk to her and hear her view on your plan. If you want to marry her think/talk about marriage and not her attack.

The more you think of the attack, the more you hurt your own emotion. What happened to her had happened to many people. She was being honest to you by telling you.

What is ur girlfriend's reaction to the issue of fomer boyfriends chasing her? is she willing 2 accept them back?
I believe this is something she should have sorted out herself without getting u informed.
On the other hand,u seem to be silent right now about strange people making love 2 her.Are you sure u are spiritual enough to handle this in the future?
My brother,look before u leap & if ur answer 2 the above questions are not favourable,i advice u get another girl b/4 u get deeper in a relationship that will be likely full of troubles in the future
Cheers

Wow! interesting sad story, yea but like some1 pointed out, was she raped in her dream or in reality (a bit confused about dat), can that translate to physical pregnancy I doubt that! It can only lead to spiritual babies I guess!!! So the pregnancy must’v been for her ex (at 16 she was 2 young 2b having sex but dats all past now, well I think 3 months is too soon 4u 2 say u want 2 spend d rest of ur life with her,, why not relax, take each day as it comes, study her, spend some time together, then when its time for u 2 go 4 ur masters u can make a decision