This is a true life story of a friend that has rendered me restless since morning.

There's this young lady he met 2007 in an IT firm he buys from: he fell in love with her, approached her but she ignored. Few weeks later, she was fired in the presence of my friend. Out of sympathy, he started getting close to her, assists her financially to the extent of buying her a phone because the company took their phone from her, payed her rent and lots more. Since then she was not working again, my guy carried her along till 2011. My friend was a duty manager in a company handling offshore catering on all MPN platforms. Her brother then was studying at MAN, oron do comes there most weekends, holidays and when needed financial assistance too. December 2007 she conceived and he went for introduction/consultation, 2008 she delivered a baby boy (not honda). 2010 she delivered the 2nd son. June 2010 my guy lost his job. Things begins to go down, she started Complaining telling him that she ever regret knowing him, she added that she hates everything about him. 2011 it went worst. My friend had to look for a school in an interior village; 5 hours drive away from his house to go and teach just to put his house in order till a better job comes. He lived all alone in the school and earned only 10k, he was paid for three months, the 4th month they gave him 2500, the 5th & the 6th months nothing, so he moved to the nearby village where he had a part time driving job with accommodation with little or no pay. He managed till last december. Last june she called him and told him that if he can't afford his rent before december which the rent will expire she'll leave him. She said so many abusive words like; I hate you and your wicked family, you frustrated and good for nothing man, woman wrapper, God will not allow my children be as frustrating as you are; he cried; remembering the past. He tried all he could but the apartment was too high for him to afford this time since it was in a federal housing estate.

August 2011 she brought a man she claimed to be a pastor in MFM with a lady into the apartment. She instructed him not to come home until her new tenants are able to secure their accomodation. He obeyed her for peace to reign. September she parked, left the house for the pastor and the lady and returned to her people with the kids while the rent has not expired. October the pastor gotten an accomodation. They went away with all his electronics including expensive wall lights and they even removed all the bulbs in the apartment and call it seeds. When my friend heard they've gotten accomodation he was happy, he went and beg them to allow him to be sleeping in their parlour but he was thrown out. He left in tears, jumping from one place to another. Her family has never for once asked what is going on with him, even when he visits the children. Only once the lady's father called and asked for the child's school fees. He hustled and pay but last term he couldn't pay and the lady opened an encyclopedia of curse and accusation on his his head. she even said "I thought anything good will come out of you when you left me? Since january he can't even visit his children because of shame and fears. When he calls she start shouting on the phone, she will not even allow him to speak with his children.

He cant call again because they'll finish him for this terms fees. This is a man that has helped all the members of that family but now they've all turned against him. The guy is jobless, homeless, restless and helpless. Now his ex, when she heard the sad news she called him, encouraged him and asked him to come and stay with her till things go well with him, then he moved on. She promised giving him love that will cover the pains. Recently, the brother of the runaway wife noticed his coversation with his ex on facebook and started sending him threatening texts. He narrated one of the text which he said..."Show this mesage to your family members if you have one. you feel you can frustrate my sister? you don't know those you're joking with, i will handle you personaly. i can limit you". My friend is confused. After telling me the story, (I weaped) he asked;
1.. if God bless him with a better job now, should he go back to her?
If no,
2...what of his children? How will he retrieve them?
3... His ex invitation, how good is it? she may want to push him into marriage.
I was short of words thats why I post it here for more suggestion. Please he needs help not accusations. God bless NL. Long live Seun.

am confused I dont even know what to tell him.

This is indeed a sad tale Johnwell but am sorry to say your friend do not have a choice than to go back to his wife. This is why we all need to be careful when choosing our spouses cos once you are in, you are in.

All he can do right now is hope and work towards thing getting better for him.
He can make decisions from then.
'if you can't get the sword yet,you dare not ask what killed your father'-yoruba saying!

A sad story.

I am surprised at the woman's sudden change of behaviour just because your friend lost his job!! What happened?? The woman has 2 children for him but that is not enough reason for him to marry a woman like that and keep at home. That spells early death for him! Why has your friend's family not done anything to calm her or talk her folks? The man cannot deal with this alone and needs help. It looks like they have only done the traditional wedding and not a court or church wedding so legally he is not married.

While I don't support divorce I also don't support staying in a failed relationship for the sake of a sacred institution the other party does not consider sacred at all.
When he does get a job he should support his family and not the in-laws. An allowance each month for the children's upkeep is sufficient and obviously upon agreed terms that works for both of them.
I am not sure about the ex so he should make it clear to her that while he appreciates her help he can't make any promises about a future together at the moment till he sorts outs his shit. It will be worse having both women after his life!

I wish him all the best.

a man shuld be able to take care of his family
save for rainy day when u are working
put ur wife in business while u have the resources
now u dont have anything to fallback to because u didnt make plans for it
if job's wife culd curse him and leave. who are you.not her fault. she is only not descipline to respect and not curse.
get a job and get your wife back.ofcourse she is not working n you r not working so if she remain.bros na DIE.

ijebabe: ... "It looks like they have only done the traditional wedding and not a court or church wedding"...

they're not married, he only went for introduction because of the first pregnancy. No traditional wedding, no church wedding, no court marriage.

Nn-a-Nn-a:
"when u are working
put ur wife in business while u have the ..."

she refused working. There was a slot for her in wema bank thro his friend that managed a branch there, but she turn down the offer. She prefere travelling to her people and stay for months. She later demanded for business when things were rough. To me, she is not expose, she can't plan, she always call her people for advice.

johnwell: they're not married, he only went for introduction because of the pregnancy. No traditional wedding, no church wedding, no court marriage.

Then the only thing I see holding them together is the children. I still say he should take care of her and the children but is not compulsory he remains with her, unless he wants to work hard at fixing their broken relationship. He knows whats in his heart so he should decide and also involve his family for this. If she should get married to someone else then his children, and not her, are his only responsibility. If the woman can calm down to thrash out their issues together, just the both of them, it will be better for them both.

ijebabe:
Then the only thing I see holding them together is the children. I still say he should take care of her and the children but is not compulsory he remains with her, unless he wants to work hard at fixing their broken relationship. He knows whats in his heart so he should decide and also involve his family for this. If she should get married to someone else then his children, and not her, are his only responsibility. If the woman can calm down to thrash out their issues together, just the both of them, it will be better for them both.

it's all about the children. He said she once told him on phone that she'll soon invite him for her wedding. She was still communicating with her ex even in the presence of my friend. The fact is that she is full of herself. I've witness her pride show before. He's regreting now; his pastor warned him about the lady but lust overtook his brain.

@johnwell. Honestly after reading all what you wrote..

1. I'm short of words & i can only feel sorry for your friend

2. Why did you not accomodate him?

3. Some women are naturally destiny killers, that's why i always say look and think before you leap. An average Nigerian woman wants to be an housewife.. They don't want to work at all.

4. He should close down his facebook page for now. If he still wants to be facebooking at this moment, i suggest he opens a new one and re-add some of his friends there.

5. He should report the threat of the brother inlaw to a police station. The IPO would call the brother to some sort of other.

6. He should look for a job. No matter how small to take care of his bills. Though he needs serious prayers!!!


Lastly, as a man. If you want to marry someone you are to spend the rest of your life. Do what is called DD (DUE DILIGENCE)
i rest my case.

Yeye woman!he didnot choose wisely!d guy no sabi say women dey deceptive. . .

Killz.:
Let God bless him with a Job first, then the next step will follow. . . Some people can be just wicked.

Exactly.

@OP You He should look for work making sure to use the powers of patience and faith as guides on his journey to get back on his feet. In the meantime he should demand to see or make efforts to see his children. He co-created them therefore he has a right to see them. Lastly, he should realize the relationship with their mother is a "WRAP!", it's done, it's failed and over - for that he should THANK GOD! She will get her karma in due time. That is how nature is: You do wrong, you get your punishment....

As for his ex, he should allow his heart to heal first before pursuing another relationship with her. She is awesome for her offer to aid him. She sounds like she has genuine love for him, despite his predicament and therefore is a woman who appreciates him for who he is. If he cares for her with no intentions of turning her into a rebound then by all means he should give it a shot.

If he doesn't want to live with her...maybe he can live with family. If so and if they'll have him, perhaps he can go with them. But regardless self improvement and a relationship with his children, should be his main focus.

bennyraz: @johnwell. Honestly after reading all what you wrote..

1. I'm short of words & i can only feel sorry for your friend

2. Why did you not accomodate him?

3. Some women are naturally destiny killers, that's why i always say look and think before you leap. An average Nigerian woman wants to be an housewife.. They don't want to work at all.

4. He should close down his facebook page for now. If he still wants to be facebooking at this moment, i suggest he opens a new one and re-add some of his friends there.

5. He should report the threat of the brother inlaw to a police station. The IPO would call the brother to some sort of other.

6. He should look for a job. No matter how small to take care of his bills. Though he needs serious prayers!!!


Lastly, as a man. If you want to marry someone you are to spend the rest of your life. Do what is called DD (DUE DILIGENCE)
i rest my case.

Oh absolutely! He should report that asap.
I forgot about that bushtard sending e-threats.
What a low life.

The real question here is why did the OP not accommodate his friend when the guy needed help?

MsDarkSkin:

Exactly.

@OP You He should look for work making sure to use the powers of patience and faith as guides on his journey to get back on his feet. In the meantime he should demand to see or make efforts to see his children. He co-created them therefore he has a right to see them. Lastly, he should realize the relationship with their mother is a "WRAP!", it's done, it's failed and over - for that he should THANK GOD! She will get her karma in due time. That is how nature is: You do wrong, you get your punishment....

As for his ex, he should allow his heart to heal first before pursuing another relationship with her. She is awesome for her offer to aid him. She sounds like she has genuine love for him, despite his predicament and therefore is a woman who appreciates him for who he is. If he cares for her with no intentions of turning her into a rebound then by all means he should give it a shot.

If he doesn't want to live with her...maybe he can live with family. If so and if they'll have him, perhaps he can go with them. But regardless self improvement and a relationship with his children, should be his main focus.

Thanks for your advice, you speak well. He's with me now, he appreciates your comments & pomised to act on it.

Mynd_44: The real question here is why did the OP not accommodate his friend when the guy needed help?

The real answer here is that its been long since we meet, he only showed up on thursday night. he's with me now.

cowgurl: This is indeed a sad tale Johnwell but am sorry to say your friend do not have a choice than to go back to his wife. This is why we all need to be careful when choosing our spouses cos once you are in, you are in.

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your phucking face. That's what I'll do if you ever post here again.[/size]

johnwell:
Thanks for your advice, you speak well. He's with me now, he appreciates your comments & pomised to act on it.

OK/2/NV:

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your phucking face. That's what I'll do if you ever post here again.[/size]

Suicide...commit it.

johnwell:
The real answer here is that its been long since we meet, he only showed up on thursday night. he's with me now.

Now tell him to continue to live his life and forget about her. He might maintain communication for the sake of his kids but that's where it should stop

Mynd_44:
Now tell him to continue to live his life and forget about her. He might maintain communication for the sake of his kids but that's where it should stop

alryte

OK/2/NV:

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your phucking face. That's what I'll do if you ever post here again.[/size]

are u a BH agent

johnwell:
are u a BH agent

You have no effing idea

OK/2/NV:

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your phucking face. That's what I'll do if you ever post here again.[/size]

HOLY LAWD

how on earth can i go live again with a woman who rejected me wen i needed her MOST?

its a pity but ur friend shoulld try get something doin at least to pay his bills and den better things would come.
he should totally disassociate himself with de mother of his kids cos she is badluck.

abt de his ex, i guess she loves her dearly but let him hold on 1st so as to stand and clear dis whole mess before gettin entangled in anoda relationship.

tell yur friend that i said--if he goes back to live with the mother of her kids, he will die soon, soooner dan he would ever imagine cos dat lady is heartless

i wish him de best but he should as well rememeber---PRAYER CHANGES THINGS

OK/2/NV:

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, pickin
g the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot mac
aroni and throw it right on
your phucking face. That's w
hat I'll do if you ever p
ost here again.[/size]

Free anger management course call 1800manageanger ,

OK/2/NV:

[size=15pt]Just stop. If you ever post here again, I will phuckin' choke slam you into a coffee table, with any luck it will be one of those old school antique coffee tables that was made out of the really good wood from deep in the forest and not that Ikea b@tch that explodes like a fucking stunt table. I will put you right through it, and pull you up by your god damn larynx and then right through the dry wall, my hand would be disappearing into the wall like I just fisted a phucking horse. Then I'd pull you out, you'd be deprived of 3 quarters of your oxygen, and you'd start to cry. Then I'd just whisper into your ear, really calmly, like one of those bad guys in one of those great 80's movies with Mel Gibson, or Stallone or whatever, where once the goons would get him tied up and the head bad guy that's running b1tch would come in all relaxed with his dress shoes and suit and would just come up and put his face like parallel to the other dude's face and just come in and whisper in the guy's ear nice and calmly. That's what I'd do to you, as you're struggling to breath, I'd put my head right next to your ear and just be like [size=20pt]"If you ever post in this section again, I will 4ucking kill you. You understand me?[/size] The only reason you're not dead right now is because I haven't figured out how to get away with it yet. If you even come in this section again, I swear to god, I will grab you by your phucking baby fat and the top of your 4ucking head and I will throw you upside down through a window" As you sit out there in the rain, picking the glass and the wood shards out of your body, I'm goin take a tray of hot macaroni and throw it right on your phucking face. That's what I'll do if you ever post here again.[/size]

all huff and puff, copy n paste manager!

I wonder what anyone hopes to achieve by threatening someone you will probably never meet ever