On the one hand girls complain that men lie. On the other hand they complain that men are 'brutally truthful'. I don't understand anymore...

Over the weekend I had a conversation with a friend of mine who broke up with her boyfriend. Why? "He was brutally honest", was her answer . She couldn't cope with his honesty. He saw spades and called them spades, and that "often hurt her emotions". Even here in NL, we've had peeps complaining that their boyfriends don't know how to be diplomatic (i.e lie). SMH

When you now want to take their emotions into consideration and lie to them (like the lady that just opened a thread about how her fiance is a liar and cheat) they still don't like it! No wonder they say you cannot please a woman!

So ladies, girls, women, etc, etc, what exactly do you want from us? Honesty or lies?

Please! What woman have complained about her man being 'brutally honest'? The problem is the way the message is delivered. I know the truth can be bitter but personally I would always want him to tell me the truth no matter what. Some men pride themselves in being straight forward and blunt which is good but if you know you are dating a sensitive girl then you have to be tactful and keep that ego in check. Only a stupid woman will break up with her boyfriend for being honest because at the end of the day its about the message. I would take the truth any day over lies! Except when I ask him to lie

lying is a deal-breaker for me anyday anytime...
I find out one lie and i stop trusting you!
I don't wanna understand your reasons for telling it!
Better remain mute than tell me a lie.
I'd embrace the cold-hard truth than i would a pitiful lie!
Women are different in their own ways and as such handle things differently...and in their own ways too...

I have never heard of a girl complaining that her BF is too truthful oooo. This is new to me

ijebabe: Please! What woman have complained about her man being 'brutally honest'? The problem is the way the message is delivered. I know the truth can be bitter but personally I would always want him to tell me the truth no matter what. Some men pride themselves in being straight forward and blunt which is good but if you know you are dating a sensitive girl then you have to be tactful and keep that ego in check. Only a stupid woman will break up with her boyfriend for being honest because at the end of the day its about the message. I would take the truth any day over lies! Except when I ask him to lie

So in essence, he should sugarcoat the truth? That seems to be the suggestion of this friend of mine. Like "Kevin, am I getting fat". She's indeed getting very fat. But I'm expected to reply "No sweetheart, I like the fact that you're a tinnie bit more filled out than before . Which may be a 'tactful' reply but that definitely won't make her work at slimming down and I lose out at the end. See?

I do like that you can handle the truth sha, but I doubt you can do that ALWAYS. After a while you're likely to start complaining that he is not diplomatic , then we're back to square one

slimyem: lying is a deal-breaker for me anyday anytime...
I find out one lie and i stop trusting you!
I don't wanna understand your reasons for telling it!
Better remain mute than tell me a lie.
I'd embrace the cold-hard truth than i would a pitiful lie!
Women are different in their own ways and as such handle things differently...and in their own ways too...

Iron lady! After a sustained period of hearing 'the cold hard truth', you'll begin to lose interest in the guy. Trust me. It is in the nature of girls to have their emotions massaged. Why do you think men lie? So they don't hurt these emotions. simple. It makes girls feel good about theemselves

Mynd_44: I have never heard of a girl complaining that her BF is too truthful oooo. This is new to me

I have seen you. You can now go and play with your pen1s (sorry sexkillz)

^
Now are you pleased with yourself?

Kevin_II:

So in essence, he should sugarcoat the truth? That seems to be the suggestion of this friend of mine. Like "Kevin, am I getting fat". She's indeed getting very fat. But I'm expected to reply "No sweetheart, I like the fact that you're a tinnie bit more filled out than before . Which may be a 'tactful' reply but that definitely won't make her work at slimming down and I lose out at the end. See?

I do like that you can handle the truth sha, but I doubt you can do that ALWAYS. After a while you're likely to start complaining that he is not diplomatic , then we're back to square one

I didn't mean for him to sugarcoat (although nothing so wrong with that depending on the situation) but the choice of words, body language and the tone used will go a long way in sending the message across more effectively. Rather than being too blunt or harsh, c'mon i mean this is the woman you say you love can't the guy afford to be polite? I don't support a lie, if the guy thinks she's getting fat then his response shud be like 'actually now that you mentioned it, i did notice that you have put on a lil weight since but didn't or forgot to bring it up. Is that so hard? Men know weight is a sensitive issue for women (no matter how illogical it seems) so he shud be tactful. Being tact doesn't mean lying.