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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / English Simplified (2142 Views)
English Simplified by Nobody: 12:04pm On Nov 20, 2007 |
European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English' . In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Peas and lov to yu. Let us all start speaking this simplified English |
Re: English Simplified by Emperoh(m): 12:26pm On Nov 20, 2007 |
Gbam, Ekwerem!!!! |
Re: English Simplified by Oracle(m): 2:14pm On Dec 01, 2007 |
They've finally gone back to speaking German |
Re: English Simplified by ndumart: 2:25pm On Dec 01, 2007 |
English made difficult. Gbam |
Re: English Simplified by actoor(m): 4:11pm On Dec 01, 2007 |
abeg, u too try, |
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