pls read well.

* i just finished my university education here in the east and going for my youth service by july this year.

* my girl friend is pregnant and we have decided to keep it and tell our parent. a conclusion was reached that we will get married before i go for NYSC scheduled for july this year. my girl friend is in her final year as well. we love each other.


* my father suggest we still stay in his home till atleast i get a job cuz to him we are incapable of getting ourselves an accommodation.


* but really,i hussle well & and i got the means, i could afford an accomodation, atleast a two bedroom for myself, my wife. but dad will ask questions about how i get my money.... and stuffs like dat. u knw how strict fathers can be.


* the reason why i am writing this is that most ppl i told abt this or knew i am getting married frowned at the part that i will still stay in my father's house after marriage. it doesnt go down with me also.

**pls tell me your own view on this staying in parent's house after marriage & advice me. or if u have had similar experience pls share with me.

thanks to you all

what exactly is the harm in staying at your fathers home? you have money already as you said, and how bad would it be to live rent free a little bit longer while you save money for you and your new family?

i can understand the whole im a man now stuff but hey you got your money through shady means and at least you respect your father enough to still be afraid of his questioning about, but seriously live with him for one year save all the money you can and then move out.

This is one time you have to stand your ground. Let your dad know you are a man and can take care of your responsibilities. Parents can be fussy, nosey and overcaring, it doesnt go down well with me too.
BTW, what level of hustling are you into? Hope its legal? If yes, be proud and tell your dad about it

@omega25red & @odunnu, thanks a lot. i av learnt from both of you.

Your dad might be right. You said you are just going for your NYSC but that you can afford an apartment how come?
Do you have a steady means of income that is outside your aren'ts purse?
Please answer this before I can offer my advice

If by steady means of income u mean a job or a business, no I don't have.

I wrote earlier that I hussle, let's nt go into details of my husslin. I cld afford an accommodation and provide for my new family IF my parent have nt been supportive.

effiongbass: If by steady means of income u mean a job or a business, no I don't have.

I wrote earlier that I hussle, let's nt go into details of my husslin. I cld afford an accommodation and provide for my new family IF my parent have nt been supportive.

You must understand that your dad only wants you to be financially stable before he hands off. You should try talking to/with him

effiongbass: If by steady means of income u mean a job or a business, no I don't have.

I wrote earlier that I hussle, let's nt go into details of my husslin. I cld afford an accommodation and provide for my new family IF my parent have nt been supportive.

hw long will ur hustle lasts b4 u come begging for money for pampers?
abeg let go of ur pride, focus on getting a good steady income- dats what makes u a man.

U guys r right. Thank u mynd_44 and snthesis...

U re about to get married and be the head of a home and u still worry about "what daddy will say" . Be a man dam mit.

Most guys hussle to get moni n though some of d methods might nt be too clean they rent illegal either.

For ur wife's sake pls get d apartment. Commit every other tin to God. U seem focused so u can continue hussling alongside ur NYSC n use both that moni n ur allowee to take care of ur family.

Thank you godmother.

What most people don't know is that every student in Nigeria hustles and it pays because you are among like minds but immediately you step out into real life (outside school), you realise it ain't how you thought. Just wait a bit and see how far that"hustle" can/will take you then decide

I dont know oo, let me share my experience wit u....
I also got married in my final year, my parents frowned at it but after much persuation, they reluctantly agreed.
I was also a hustler then, i was into s.u.g nd oda political stuff, that was where i got my first savings
but, my wife advised me to get a good business so that i can sustain myself...nd i did, i opened a shop and by the grace of the Almighty, it went well....
My parents are dead now, but they will be smiling in their graves now, cos i m now a doctor, my wife is a lab scientist and we hav a kid now. All cos i stood my ground as a man.
If u stay in ur dad's house, u will neva hav the experience of being a man, cos he will pay 4 pampers, sma gold, baby clothes, etc, which u will neva experience...
Well, the choice is urs......

THANKS TO YOU ALL. I REALLY APPRECIATE. I THINK I SHOULD SHED MORE LIGHT INTO THIS. PLEASE FOLLOW ME CAREFULLY.

I, MYSELF HAVE PLAYED SOME ROLE AS A FATHER TO BE AND A HUSBAND TO BE. I HAVE BOUGHT ALL THE THINGS MY BABY WILL USE FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS. I ALSO PLAYED SOME ROLE INTERMS OF FINANCES TOWARDS MY COMING WEDDING. BUT ALL THESE THINGS I DID ARE OBSCURE TO MY DAD. MY MUM KNOWS ALL THESE things I DID. SHE KNOWS I HUSSLE AND I HAVE SOME EXTENT OF MONEY.

@Lagusta, am happy for you.

@mynd_44, i have been preparing for the real world right from my 400L days. i knew some day would come that it would not feel ok to me to ask money from my parent. i have learnt from the elder ones what the real life is outside school environment. and i thank God my hussles pays off well.

thanks to you all once again . pls if u have had similar experience then share with me.

effiongbass: pls read well.

* i just finished my university education here in the east and going for my youth service by july this year.

* my girl friend is pregnant and we have decided to keep it and tell our parent. a conclusion was reached that we will get married before i go for NYSC scheduled for july this year. my girl friend is in her final year as well. we love each other.


* my father suggest we still stay in his home till atleast i get a job cuz to him we are incapable of getting ourselves an accommodation.


* but really,i hussle well & and i got the means, i could afford an accomodation, atleast a two bedroom for myself, my wife. but dad will ask questions about how i get my money.... and stuffs like dat. u knw how strict fathers can be.


* the reason why i am writing this is that most ppl i told abt this or knew i am getting married frowned at the part that i will still stay in my father's house after marriage. it doesnt go down with me also.

**pls tell me your own view on this staying in parent's house after marriage & advice me. or if u have had similar experience pls share with me.

thanks to you all

You need to be VERY CAREFUL LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS
Your girl or wife will need to be at her best
Let her stay at her parents house
You don't need the drama

MnnnMnnn...i do not know a single female that would love to live in the same house with her in-laws. Do what you gotta do, man. Spare your wife-to-be the stress.

Is not going to rossy all the time especially when the baby arrive. Get your self accommodaton and save your wife the stress. what is yes to you might not be yes to her, pls save her the hisssssss and thissssss that will be coming.

*deepbreath*

effiongbass: *deepbreath*

Dude
You live in real life with real issue
You have made the first step to manage your relationship between your wife and family
If you get a place great or let her stay with her parent for now

Thank u luckygames.
In the nigerian context and especially in igbo culture...a girl is nt to return to her parent after marriage.
real life.....*sigh*

If you think you can handle it, fine.

So much has changed now

So much leason learned

I now know the a answer to that questiin I asked 2 yrs ago.

D best is 4 u to get ur apartment,I remember when I had my child,I hardly sleep even at night due to exclusive breastfeeding,hubby had to start preparing breakfast 4 himself 4 me to ave a longer time to sleep so I sleep and wake anytime d baby wakes(at times 10 or 11am),he was d 1 going to market 4 like 3-6months to relieve me of d stress all I do is take care of d house and baby. imagine I was staying with his parent dey'll say I lack home training .she might be lucky and enjoy staying there dat she won't want to leave again after u get ur own place,am sure u won't want to take d risk

How does your wife feel about staying in your parents house?

effiongbass: So much leason learned

Please share some of d lessons .

andromida: How does your wife feel about staying in your parents house?

she's kind of indifferent towards the idea. I actually did got a 2 bed room apartment during my NYSC year, if you read thru my first post u will understand better. And we(wife, baby and I) were managing fine .... I want to relate the short story (rough and smooth) of my experience since 2yrs ago.... not now cuz am busy probably later 2day.


***listening to 'LIFE DRAMA' by 9ice***

effiongbass:


she's kind of indifferent towards the idea. I actually did got a 2 bed room apartment during my NYSC year, if you read thru my first post u will understand better. And we(wife, baby and I) were managing fine .... I want to relate the short story (rough and smooth) of my experience since 2yrs ago.... not now cuz am busy probably later 2day.


***listening to 'LIFE DRAMA' by 9ice***

O.K. Is there something about your hussle you cannot tell your parents?