yuzedo:
#BOSS!
This is what Davido sang "Ijo Baba Shina Rambo". . .


Uncle Armed Robber must be a pastor somewhere now. .


A friend of mine narrated his co-tenants' story which was so funny.

Robbers came to their house which was a tenament building with many occupants and forced all everyone out of their rooms into the landlords palour. They were then asked if they had money or not. The Landlord pleaded that he didn't have any money on him as all tenants had been owing house rents for sometime now, he was separated to one line while those with money were told to bring it and join another line.

Right there one of the tenants went to bring some money in a bag and dropped it with the Landlord saying it was his rent for the next two years. Ol boy see as landlord reject am say he never due for him to collect rent. Before u know there was an argument before d robbers btw landlord and tennant. Then the robbers decided to make an example by shooting one of the tenants in the "have not" line on the foot to enable the landlord make up his mind. Quickly the landlord accepted he wanted d money but asked 4 just six months.

The robbers finally settled the case by asking d landlord to accept one and a half years as was his usual custom and to prepare a reciept duly signed by both parties warning that the tenant must not be evicted otherwise the landlord will be dealt with if they discover. They were both asked to join the queue of people with money while others secretly started borrowing money to enable them join the safe line. No one else was wounded and d robbers carted away all the money.

It was a traumatic experience then, but its quite laughable now, the landlord never demanded excessive months of rent after that and started using an agent 4 his dealings. Lol

Uncle Armed Robber must be a pastor somewhere now. . -------this statement got me laughíng so hard I shed tears. Damn!!

crackhouse: really? They went to get some wrapper from the ladies washing at the stream? That night? Washing cloth at the stream in the night? Oh! Come on, ur story is far from reality. Unless u wanna tell me those ladies are mermaids.

the victims had no choice but to ask the mermaids washing clothes for help since there was no one else in sight.

swiftycool: I remember way back when I was just starting uni, I went to stay with a friend of mine in PH. We were about 6 in the house, two parents, my friend and I plus two todlers, a little boy of 2 and a girl of 4.

The robbers hit the door threatning to burst it open if we didn't and so my friends dad went to open d door for four rugged looking armed robbers who immediately shouted on us to all come out of the room, get on the floor and lie down facedown if we didn't want to die.

We did as instructed, all of us including d tiny kids. But soon d kids started fighting over the space to lie down saying that's my space I got there b4 u. One robber who seemed like the boss was left to guard us while one was outside and two ransacking the house.
Our guard just shouted on d kids LIE FACE DOWN and CLOSE ur EYES!!!

Few minuites later I just heard Mimi d little girl whispering; junior close ur eyes o, or ill report u. B4 u knew she just got up and went to tug the guard robber's trousers and said: " UNCLE ARMED RoBBER, junior is not closing his eyes!"

All of a sudden the robbers who heard her, two inside and d one outside bursted out laughing seriously, while the guard who was apparently shocked kept silent and shook his head gently. Before we knew it he just walked out of the house and in a teary voice commanded the rest to leave everything in the house and go. They actually left without stealing a pin because of how Mimi addresed their boss. I wonder why!

nice thread..

sexkillz: Relax na. . . Na phone i dey use type, and i just dey remember things wen i don dey try forget. . .

biko continud nah.d suspense is geting lengthy.dem collect ur lappy this one wey u dey use phone type

jude33084:

I don't like guys that are not real!
Imagine a Nigerian say such trash!

this is such a stupid statement. So the OP is not real just because he doesn't share your point of view?

Funny thread...

sexkillz: Initially, i thought it was routine check. The door was open for almost 40 seconds before a man speaking with an hausa accent barged in with a very sharp cutlass, screaming at the top of his voice: EVERYBODY COME DOWN, EVERYBODY COME DOWN". He turned to me, "give me money, give me anything" i surrendered my phone. My second phone was on my lap when he barged in, and fell off when i stood up. By then, there was pandemonium in a bus of about 50 passengers. . .
I made to run towards the front, but the robber dragged me back, and stretched his hand. I put my hands into my pockets and emptied the money in them into his hands, and he ordered me to go down. . . I hurriedly obeyed. I was in shock, but i wasn't in panic. . .

hausa again.?abi na bh attack una

Its a pity so many people on this thread have this saddist mentality and are desperate to hear about killings, rape and grusome violence. However, I tagged this thread "Crazy" becos I didn't want all stories to be dwelling on painful events alone. Some crime stories I've heard or witnessed were damn right painful, sad and heartbreaking, while some are funny.

Now on the issue of wether being completely true or not, as I believe some of these stuff were narrated to some people like me and I reported as I heard, now if u r not happy about it, why not go to some other gory crime site so u can satisfy ur lust for pure pain and death and LOGG oFF this thread!!

As per the ones I claimed to witness, if u believe or not Na u sabi.

With that said guys pls feel free to post any crime related stories, especially crazy and funny, even if u didn't witness firsthand.
Thanx

jude33084:

Na wetin come happen na? Mumu

†ђξ guy na authentic MuMu with capital letter' M'

[size=18pt]haaa Sango Ota is a died zone [/size] they tried to collect my car twice, its very rampant. They snatch cars every day

swiftycool: Its a pity so many people on this thread have this saddist mentality and are desperate to hear about killings, rape and grusome violence. However, I tagged this thread "Crazy" becos I didn't want all stories to be dwelling on painful events alone. Some crime stories I've heard or witnessed were damn right painful, sad and heartbreaking, while some are funny.

Now on the issue of wether being completely true or not, as I believe some of these stuff were narrated to some people like me and I reported as I heard, now if u r not happy about it, why not go to some other gory crime site so u can satisfy ur lust for pure pain and death and LOGG oFF this thread!!

As per the ones I claimed to witness, if u believe or not Na u sabi.

With that said guys pls feel free to post any crime related stories, especially crazy and funny, even if u didn't witness firsthand.
Thanx

Eiya.
Don't let what people say on this thread upset you. In life you are bound to face opposition. Just shrug and move on. No think am.

swiftycool: I remember way back when I was just starting uni, I went to stay with a friend of mine in PH. We were about 6 in the house, two parents, my friend and I plus two todlers, a little boy of 2 and a girl of 4.

The robbers hit the door threatning to burst it open if we didn't and so my friends dad went to open d door for four rugged looking armed robbers who immediately shouted on us to all come out of the room, get on the floor and lie down facedown if we didn't want to die.

We did as instructed, all of us including d tiny kids. But soon d kids started fighting over the space to lie down saying that's my space I got there b4 u. One robber who seemed like the boss was left to guard us while one was outside and two ransacking the house.
Our guard just shouted on d kids LIE FACE DOWN and CLOSE ur EYES!!!

Few minuites later I just heard Mimi d little girl whispering; junior close ur eyes o, or ill report u. B4 u knew she just got up and went to tug the guard robber's trousers and said: " UNCLE ARMED RoBBER, junior is not closing his eyes!"

All of a sudden the robbers who heard her, two inside and d one outside bursted out laughing seriously, while the guard who was apparently shocked kept silent and shook his head gently. Before we knew it he just walked out of the house and in a teary voice commanded the rest to leave everything in the house and go. They actually left without stealing a pin because of how Mimi addresed their boss. I wonder why!

You are funny. Me think the way Mimi addressed their boss touched his heart. His guilty conscience played in. How would he feel if his own child could address him as 'Daddy armed robber'?

Timileyin: [size=18pt]haaa Sango Ota is a died zone [/size] they tried to collect my car twice, its very rampant. They snatch cars every day

I heard about that place o, u must b a James Bond

komek: †ђξ guy na authentic MuMu with capital letter' M'

Abeg chill 4 d guy biko, he's had a long day and believe me its not that easy typing up these things as it appears. Just be paitient, I trust Killz tho he always delivers. Oya sexkillz over to u

swiftycool: A friend of mine narrated his co-tenants' story which was so funny.

Robbers came to their house which was a tenament building with many occupants and forced all everyone out of their rooms into the landlords palour. They were then asked if they had money or not. The Landlord pleaded that he didn't have any money on him as all tenants had been owing house rents for sometime now, he was separated to one line while those with money were told to bring it and join another line.

Right there one of the tenants went to bring some money in a bag and dropped it with the Landlord saying it was his rent for the next two years. Ol boy see as landlord reject am say he never due for him to collect rent. Before u know there was an argument before d robbers btw landlord and tennant. Then the robbers decided to make an example by shooting one of the tenants in the "have not" line on the foot to enable the landlord make up his mind. Quickly the landlord accepted he wanted d money but asked 4 just six months.

The robbers finally settled the case by asking d landlord to accept one and a half years as was his usual custom and to prepare a reciept duly signed by both parties warning that the tenant must not be evicted otherwise the landlord will be dealt with if they discover. They were both asked to join the queue of people with money while others secretly started borrowing money to enable them join the safe line. No one else was wounded and d robbers carted away all the money.

It was a traumatic experience then, but its quite laughable now, the landlord never demanded excessive months of rent after that and started using an agent 4 his dealings. Lol

Lol.. This man! You go kill me with laughter. Lol

This sexkillz na mumu oo

Nice one, who cares if its true or made up, keep going bros.

swiftycool:
Few days later after narating the experience to his friends, they hacked a plan to set up the thief. One of the guy's called the theif and pretending to think he was talking to Joe told him he had sent 50k for the house rent and other things through a driver from abuja going to Usa park in d town.he was told to call d driver on a specific number so he could be identified becos the driver had also been given his own number.

The theif took the bait and planned to go collect the money supposedly meant for Joe by impersonating him through his possesion of the phone. He arrived with a friend to the park at the stated time not knowing that joe and his friends were there waiting 4 him pretending to be passangers. As he made the call, Joe's friend's phone rang and he went to meet him pretending to be the driver. He got close to the theif and held him while the other guys rushed to meet them.

The thief's friend noticed the happenings and ran away abandoning his okada, while the caught thief was given the beating of his life that day. I as a passer by came accross this scene and pleaded with the guys I saw beating a defenseless guy to stop but when they narrated the whole story involved I was so pissed and didn't know when I joined them beating the guy and so did many other passers by.
The guy was beaten so much, stripped naked and then allowed to go. The okada was handed over to the police with a report that it belonged to a thief. Am sure that guy would think twice before stealing again. Lol!

^^ . . . but I was offered a life-jacket, so it floated once again !!!

sexkillz: As i lay on the ground, i thought to my self, what could be worse? Then i saw one of them lock himself inside the bus and proceed to ransack the whole bus. I was laying on the ground, but from the corner of my eyes, i was seeing the going ons. Now as at that time, they requested for the driver to shut the engine of the bus off, since it was still running. The driver was nowhere to be found, so another passenger volunteered to do so. They kept searching people at random, and when the guy in the bus came out, they proceeded to open the luggage compartment. . .

My heart sank. . .

You should write a suspense book....

swiftycool: I remember way back when I was just starting uni, I went to stay with a friend of mine in PH. We were about 6 in the house, two parents, my friend and I plus two todlers, a little boy of 2 and a girl of 4.

The robbers hit the door threatning to burst it open if we didn't and so my friends dad went to open d door for four rugged looking armed robbers who immediately shouted on us to all come out of the room, get on the floor and lie down facedown if we didn't want to die.

We did as instructed, all of us including d tiny kids. But soon d kids started fighting over the space to lie down saying that's my space I got there b4 u. One robber who seemed like the boss was left to guard us while one was outside and two ransacking the house.
Our guard just shouted on d kids LIE FACE DOWN and CLOSE ur EYES!!!

Few minuites later I just heard Mimi d little girl whispering; junior close ur eyes o, or ill report u. B4 u knew she just got up and went to tug the guard robber's trousers and said: " UNCLE ARMED RoBBER, junior is not closing his eyes!"

All of a sudden the robbers who heard her, two inside and d one outside bursted out laughing seriously, while the guard who was apparently shocked kept silent and shook his head gently. Before we knew it he just walked out of the house and in a teary voice commanded the rest to leave everything in the house and go. They actually left without stealing a pin because of how Mimi addresed their boss. I wonder why!

Are u for real?
That's quite shocking, I guess the guy must have really been so touched by d little girl's utterance.

one time i was on my way home fom work at around 10pm when the commercial bus was approching kwankwashe near suleja there is this dark bend there so u have to slow down there so these strong men (armed robbers) stopped our vehicle along with others they had already stopped .they began to seriously slap the cunductor and driver so i had 7k in my wallet and that was my last card so they were searching every body's bag and pockets for phones and money .I removed my 7k and held it in my palm when it was my turn they searched my pockets and found nothing. One guy ran into the nearby bush then they shot like 4 bullets at him but he was in the bush already and then 5 more strong men came out of the bush like ten minutes later with machetes but they said they didnt see him they later let us go and my 7k was in my palm the whole time .

Timileyin: [size=18pt]haaa Sango Ota is a died zone [/size] they tried to collect my car twice, its very rampant. They snatch cars every day

Yesso- fvcking bastards - snatched my bro's discussion continues on xmas eve arnd joju.

i ve never been robbed before and i pray i don't see such even though i travel a lot by road. God will continue to protect us

Well i dont think there is any1 that leaves in lagos that hasnt had armed robbery exp. personally i can count like 5 to 7 but thank God for his mercies. However there was a particular one dat makes me laff anytime i rember. i was driving towards ikeja (under d bridge) and bc there was a litle trafic d bad boys took over, we started hearing gun shots and evrybody dat was lucky to escape left his/her car on d main road and we all ran for our dear lives. i didnt come out of my hiding place until about 20 mins later. By this time d robbers had disappeared into d thin air and my car was causing serious traffic, pple gathered arnd d car looking for d owner bt they couldnt push it bc it was automatic. Immediately i moved near d car, one guy just shouted "look at d owner....he has finally come" on hearing dat i started running again and they had to pursue me shouting at d top of their voices that they are not armed robbers oooo, d robbers hav gone, pls come and remove ur car so that pple can go....it was at this point i stopped. i always laff at mysef anytime i rember dat scene though not funny then

sexkillz abeg finish your story idi ot

olsmade:

Yesso- fvcking bastards - snatched my bro's discussion continues on xmas eve arnd joju.

just curious,is it d real sango ota i hav had of or just a nickname 4 a bad spot?

sessydoo: Well i dont think there is any1 that leaves in lagos that hasnt had armed robbery exp. personally i can count like 5 to 7 but thank God for his mercies. However there was a particular one dat makes me laff anytime i rember. i was driving towards ikeja (under d bridge) and bc there was a litle trafic d bad boys took over, we started hearing gun shots and evrybody dat was lucky to escape left his/her car on d main road and we all ran for our dear lives. i didnt come out of my hiding place until about 20 mins later. By this time d robbers had disappeared into d thin air and my car was causing serious traffic, pple gathered arnd d car looking for d owner bt they couldnt push it bc it was automatic. Immediately i moved near d car, one guy just shouted "look at d owner....he has finally come" on hearing dat i started running again and they had to pursue me shouting at d top of their voices that they are not armed robbers oooo, d robbers hav gone, pls come and remove ur car so that pple can go....it was at this point i stopped. i always laff at mysef anytime i rember dat scene though not funny then

hahaha!go buy andrew liver salt

It's cool to be on NL at these times.

swiftycool: @jakumo, bros abeg no vex o. As someone explained I only narrated d story as I was told so u really don't have to set urself on fire for this cause. Perhaps u might need the white man's research into African bullet proff jazz before u believe since u happen to be one so much used to sucking their arse. Good news tho, some guys from Austrailia would soon be releasing their findings on this area of african ocultic vodoo and what they discovered about the contoversial bullet resisting vodoo. When it lands u would get to see and learn from ur white masters as u r used to.
Cheers

Yay enuff of these boring peeps and talks, mooooore stories

Who are the Australian guys? Where can I get the info from? Are they they releasing their findings in a video documentary format?

sexkillz thunder fire you. You are a f00l. Onyezuzu nwato.

Come and finish this your story jor. Idi0t

stories are much
dunno which one to drop!!!







pardon my french that was latest music!!!