@Poster:

You mean the man's house/album has no tell-tale signs of his family? He hid his 2 kids from you for good 2 years? can you call that a pastor. What else is he hiding from you.

Op will not reveal the name of the church because her bread and butter come from there. Paying tuition fees as a foreigner (under 3 years of legal stay in UK) for 4 years is not cheap.

Anyway, women generally prefer liars and cheats (never mind they claim to love honest guys). I see it everyday. Good guys lose out while liars and cheats rule.

the only wrong thing I see here is he keeping it all from you
the other thing that would be wrong is you asking him to divorce his other wife.

Havent men been known to be naturally polygamous? Let nature take its course. You, be the UK wife and let him av som1 2 be wv anytime he's in Nigeria.

Trust issues though. You may not be able to deal with that. I'd advise you reassess ur situation and think and what's best for u and ur child(if u av any).

Wish u d best

Woman,your story is just new to those in the remote villages in Naija,not people like us abroad.We know what you ladies in Naija are up to when it come to marriage especially a man from abroad.You did not ask people from his church about him before getting married or that you have seen another man you want to follow and you are looking for who will give you the advice on how to separate from the man, who took you to UK,house you and feed you for 2 years and even paid for your tuition fees.Can you tell the truth?

kayusfit: @OP; you have no problem with the woman. Just try to convince your pastor husband to invite them over to your crib and u can easily poison the wife and 2 children then u move on with your new life and marriage. I'm sure the pastor is an IGBO cos IGBOS are deep liars and promoters of bigamy. Mtcheew

MacLovington: @Poster:

You mean the man's house/album has no tell-tale signs of his family? He hid his 2 kids from you for good 2 years? can you call that a pastor. What else is he hiding from you.

Op will not reveal the name of the church because her bread and butter come from there. Paying tuition fees as a foreigner (under 3 years of legal stay in UK) for 4 years is not cheap.

Anyway, women generally prefer liars and cheats (never mind they claim to love honest guys). I see it everyday. Good guys lose out while liars and cheats rule.

I endorse this message- LOL.

OAM4J: OP, how can someone be married for 9yrs with 2 kids and you couldn't find out before marriage?

Didn't you meet his extended family before marrying him? And none of them told you about his 1st marriage?

He pastors a big Church, you mean even the big church is not aware of his marriage/separation? And none of the members hinted you while you lived with him for 2 years?

Some things are not adding up here.

People, especially women, make silly mistakes, especially when they are "in love".

Gospella: I got married few years ago to a pastor, a gentleman,loving and caring husband. When he came to ask my hand in marriage, my family was very supportive of us getting married because of his lovable personality. He lives in the UK, so after the wedding, he arranged all the travel documents for me to join him there. When I got to the UK, I gained admission to study a four year course. I am in my 2nd year at the moment. Some months ago, a woman who claimed to be his former wife called our home. She threatened me for taking her position. I was confused and could not believe her. After the call, I confronted him with the story and he eventually opened up to me.

He claimed to have two kids with the woman but that his nine year old marriage with her ended because she left him. However, he is telling me that he doesn't want her again. That he is done with their marriage. I am at cross roads at the moment because he is a pastor of a large congregation and everyone believes we are having the best of marriage, yet I am dying in silence. I cannot tell my parents because they will be devastated. What will I do? Should I leave him? I am confused. HELP!!!

this is junk at its best....too much fiction to be african.

if was truly ever married for nine yrs then his church shld know, so hw is dis a secret to u? and for "large congregation" church to still cling to him... kai, i think dis story is not true.

Gospella: The victim has met many other pastors who encouraged her to remain in the relationship because they husband does not want to go back to the former wife even though the marriage was not dissolved legally. However, the issue here is concerning her Christian which is against divorce and remarriage. Does it mean she is living in adultery since she is a second wife?

unfortunately yes.

A man who can hide such frm u is a fraud,its jst inexcusable,blv me,u ll stl discover more things abt hm,well 4 convenience u could put up wt until ur balanced to take a walk,he is a compound wt an inverted comma,open and close

maclatunji: ^I laugh in Chinese.

Macla, I follow you laugh in Swahili.....cachinnate

Looks to me like a marriage contracted through facebook.....no more ilove, face the rlove (real love). sorry lonely londoner!!!!

bollocks, where are the cows?

deols: the only wrong thing I see here is he keeping it all from you
the other thing that would be wrong is you asking him to divorce his other wife.

Havent men been known to be naturally polygamous? Let nature take its course. You, be the UK wife and let him av som1 2 be wv anytime he's in Nigeria.

Trust issues though. You may not be able to deal with that. I'd advise you reassess ur situation and think and what's best for u and ur child(if u av any).

Wish u d best

dear deols, everything's wrong wit this story if it's true from d christian standpt. as a poster said, she's not married n men re NOT naturally polygamous, they choose to be irresponsible! d woman's not married b'cos d man was married to another woman. now, d woman should look for d legal wife n apologize then bring them back together n walk out n pray to God for her own husband

musKeeto: Hmm... hope you're cute.. I'm a pastor and I have no kids.. I can manage tokunbo..

you are very funny. LOL

If this story is true, then you my dear, are a big FOOL. You married someone you did not know and i am very sure you married him because of his statue ie he is a pastor and he is based in London. Your parents too, like most parents who are carried away with such things are also part of the problem. How could they give their daughter out to someone they dont know. You say his first marriage lasted 9 years? Nobody around you knows this, not even the church members?

@Poster, your family and you are to blame for your predicament. You fell in love and wanted so much to go abroad that you failed to meticulously do the normal background checks to find out more about this so-called pastor. I am surprised that in your 2 years of marriage you did not see any photo or hear anything to show that your so-called pastor husband is married with two kids. What a deceiptful person! I bet he told lies that his wife left him, because his wife is in Nigeria while he is abroad. Have you asked why his family is not with him abroad? If he has been caring for his wife and kids in Nigeria why should the wife think of leaving him? This situation as it is, is very serious so you must tell your parents. Let them confront pastor's family with the allegation; definitly the true story will come out. Thereafter your family and yourself will know how to proceed with the matter. Definitly you need to give this to God in prayers for direction. Good luck.

Take courage and cary ur cross, lets believe this is d worst part of d marriage, d better part is comming,never stop to love ur husband because the he is ur husband!

Story,story....story teller! Lets just play along,but even at dat dont u see u have so much question to anwser. 1)which church did u wed? 2) he had a home for 9yrs and pple followed him to marry a 2nd wife as a pastor(may b in naija or uk) or was it just 2 of u? (3) a wife walked away for 2yrs (on her own) and now shows up to make trouble was she xpecting him to remain dat way? 4)pls forgive my long interogations - pls how old are u or d lady in question?

Gospella: The victim has met many other pastors who encouraged her to remain in the relationship because they husband does not want to go back to the former wife even though the marriage was not dissolved legally. However, the issue here is concerning her Christian which is against divorce and remarriage. Does it mean she is living in adultery since she is a second wife?

for me d woman is nt at fault coz she was decieved but for d hsbd he is a fak pastor,devoz or no devoz as far as he is wit another woman wht nam wil u cal dat? I wonder y they live dfftly on wht preach,dis heaven sef who go go there?

Gospella: The victim has met many other pastors who encouraged her to remain in the relationship because they husband does not want to go back to the former wife even though the marriage was not dissolved legally. However, the issue here is concerning her Christian which is against divorce and remarriage. Does it mean she is living in adultery since she is a second wife?

for me d woman is nt at fault coz she was decieved but for d hsbd he is a fak pastor,devoz or no devoz as far as he is wit another woman wht nam wil u cal dat? I wonder y they live dfftly on wht preach,dis heaven sef who go go there?

i m too matured to discuss this shyte

How old is the man of God and how old is your friend?

The MOG looks like a man in his 40's (9yrs of marriage)

If you read a story and it catches your interest, then contribute and if it doesn't then check another thread.. but this "I DONT BELIEVE YOUR STORY" just doesn't make sense... The topic is not about believing the STORY, but rather contributing if you have anything to say. The story could be a friend's .. relation.. or someone the OP knows so it doesn't necessarily have to be her own.. There are millions reading and can learn from the advice given, so in that light make your comments and give your own advice if you have any, but please forget if the story is real or not!

About this particular story there is nothing about it to say it's not real... Thousands of people travel home every year to marry girls they have never met before.. I see it happen every time, lots of these marriages end up in divorce cos the people don't really know each other and the guys might not tell the girls the true situation of things here so when they come over, the challenges can even be reason for divorce..

@OP, Do you still love the man after this huge betrayal? I suggest you spend time discussing with him! Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Ask him to tell you everything about himself... through communication you will know if he honest or can ever be trusted again... Truly sorry to hear this. I pray God gives you the wisdom to handle this.. Personally I can forgive anything, but I cant deal with LIE... so wifey knows she could tell me anything no matter how bad or ugly it is, I can get over it...but one thing I cant stand is LIE cos it serves no purpose whatsoever

Gospella: ...I am at cross roads at the moment because he is a pastor of a large congregation and everyone believes we are having the best of marriage, yet I am dying in silence.

Are you trying to insinuate that this large congregation is his know that you are his first and only wife..and that they somehow did not know of his prior 9 years marriage and two kids?

How possible?

OP, what are you waiting for? why the secret, why not just blow the asheri and let the church crumbles like undone cake?


shine ya eyes before he shines it for you. a two timer is not joker!

In this case you, ur husband (the pastor) and ur family are wrong. You married the man not because u love him but because he is in UK, u never care to kw him more, u never care to ask about the type of family he came from, u never told him to give u time and i belv there might be a guy u cost hrt brk in Nigeria. Am happy u re facing trouble so that u can teach ur children, parents and our youth a lesson. If u did not face problem tomorrow there will be lots of hrt brk and crime (parent wanting there daughters to marry only abroad or rich men). For u to see how stupid and greedy u re u lived 2 yr with a man who has two children and 9 yrs of marrage u could nt find out. Ur foolishness and greediness is in bracket (). For ur so called husband is a devil who could hide such thing from u for two yrs and clean up d house without any trace is worthy of hanging. To cut everytin short as u finish reading dis my comment just pick ur tins and walk away. GREEDY WOMAN. go back to dat guy u left heart broken in Nigeria. Consider ur self B A S T A R D because u dnt hv gud parents. IDIOTFOOL.

There are things blackbrother do to get greencard. Maybe tis is one of den u can tell. So since he don get forgive am make u enjoy d marriage.

Madam you are committing adultery. Get out of that marriage for your life.

D best 4 u is jst 4 u 2 go ahead wit him because jumping from 1 house 2 anoda is not a gud image pls

Gospella: I got married few years ago to a pastor, a gentleman,loving and caring husband. When he came to ask my hand in marriage, my family was very supportive of us getting married because of his lovable personality. He lives in the UK, so after the wedding, he arranged all the travel documents for me to join him there. When I got to the UK, I gained admission to study a four year course. I am in my 2nd year at the moment. Some months ago, a woman who claimed to be his former wife called our home. She threatened me for taking her position. I was confused and could not believe her. After the call, I confronted him with the story and he eventually opened up to me.

He claimed to have two kids with the woman but that his nine year old marriage with her ended because she left him. However, he is telling me that he doesn't want her again. That he is done with their marriage. I am at cross roads at the moment because he is a pastor of a large congregation and everyone believes we are having the best of marriage, yet I am dying in silence. I cannot tell my parents because they will be devastated. What will I do? Should I leave him? I am confused. HELP!!!

woman what do u want? Do u want to leave or stay?. If u want to stay, fine and if u want to leave, fine too.

Women take note- you can also be at fault for marrying a pastor.

My advice- do not marry any man without doing a thorough background check on him. Send your sisters to seduce him, go and interview every one of his family members one by one. And submit him for a lie detector test.

Make a public announcement that you are about to marry soo and soo ooo, that any woman with vital information on why the marriage should not take place should come forward for a million dollar reward.

Last but not least gather a list of all his ex girlfriends and befriend them, stylishly find out what kind of man he is.

You have all been warned.

queensmith: Women take note- you can also be at fault for marrying a pastor.

My advice- do not marry any man without doing a thorough background check on him. Send your sisters to seduce him, go and interview every one of his family members one by one. And submit him for a lie detector test.

Make a public announcement that you are about to marry soo and soo ooo, that any woman with vital information on why the marriage should not take place should come forward for a million dollar reward.

Last but not least gather a list of all his ex girlfriends and befriend them, stylishly find out what kind of man he is.

You have all been warned.

80% of those who carry out these 'silly' ventures you listed above find themselves in worst marriages.
Fear of the recent outcome of marriages shouldnt lead you into carrying out these 'fetishes' nor be a guide to all your actions in a choosing a husband.
Even a good man would run 700miles per hr away from you when you subject him to these.